Telemarketers, and Junkmail: HOw to deal with em:

[PraiseCaster]

TIP NUMBER ONE:
You get one of those telemarketer calls. Dont get frustrated or hang up, just give them three little words: 'Hold On, Please...'

Then put your phone down (instead of hanging-up immediately). Then when you eventually hear the phone company's 'beep-beep-beep' tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. If more and more people do this, it would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

TIP NUMBER TWO:
Question: Have you ever gotten one of those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a 'real' sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!!

TIP NUMBER THREE:
Are you tired of all the junk mail you get in your mailbox? Give this a try then:
When you get 'ads' enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these 'ads' with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those 'pre-approved' letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw them away. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 41 cents postage 'IF' and when they receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes. Or, send them their blank application back, or heck, just the envelope, sealed and empty. It still costs the same!

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

TIP NUMBER FOUR:
The banks and credit card companies are currently sending out a lot of junkmail with each statement. And what also comes along in those statements, is (you guessed it!) a pre-paid envelope. Give that junk back to them in the mail. Let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs. Get the idea!

And how much ya wanna bet, once they realize your making em pay double what they anticipated for it , they'll take your lil pranking behind off their mailing list......

[araT]

And if all else fails, try this:

[V-Man 809]

Like the phone tips, just be careful with the return mail deal, especially in the uk! The companies pay up front for the percentage returns - if everyone were to return the items, then the only people it would hurt would be the post office. They catagorically do not pay for every individual one returned.

I use to work for a credit card company (sorry, some one had to and I left!) we used to get people sending house bricks wrapped inside application forms....now that did cost. The post office wouldn't deliver it now however.

Maybe it's different in the US.....in which case, steady as she goes....

[mudbean]

Great ideas, Praise!! I'm a-gonna give 'em a try.

mud

[Buckocaster51]

I've had great success by placing my phone # on the do not call list.

Junk mail goes into the recycling bin.

[Rasmuth]

they should call 'em "Stratomarketers"

[manfesto]

Reminds me of this:

<wolf> 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
<wolf> 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
<wolf> 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
<wolf> 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
<wolf> 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
<wolf> I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
<wolf> Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.

http://bash.org/?127039

[DustyDave]

I like it! I like it!

[Unseen]

I'm not sure why all the hostility toward junk mail. Did you ever think that it's only "junk" if it doesn't interest you? Have I opened up some business mail and said, "Yeah, I want that?" You bet I have and I also bet that if you say you never have you're either lying or you've only had spending money for a very short time.

My feelings are:

1) It's not intrusive the way unwanted phonecalls are. It's not sent at no cost to the sender the way spam is.

2) It actually saves paper. No, I'm not kidding. An ad in a magazine the same size is sent out to a far less targeted market. So they can get more sales out of mail solicitations with fewer imprints. If you prefer your ads in magazines, you're wasting paper. I often hear the argument that "99.9% of the time I'm not interested enough in the offer they are making in the junk mail to respond." Well, I'd be willing to bet that your response to the ads in the magazines is equally low, if not lower. Why? Because magazine ads are generally (not always) less targeted.

3) Is it so hard to recognize junk mail you don't want and simply toss it?

4) If you were all THAT concerned about junk mail and "saving paper," you'd be saving it and recycling it properly, not thinking up idiot forms of revenge.

5) Business mail provides jobs to people in a number of industries, and in fact your own industry may even use direct mail. Don't be a hypocrite.

SPAM is a different story, because it costs the originator hardly anything.

[Guitar_Ninja]

I write "Return to Sender" in black marker on junk mail and put it back in the mailbox unopened. I very rarely get junkmail any longer.

I'd be wary of being a jerk to telemarketers on the phone. If you peeve off the phone operator enough some of them have ways to make sure you get even more calls.

[tele0053]

Sure junk mails are a bit annoying, but all I do is toss 'em in the can... done! no big deal...these people are just trying to do business, and I must say... that everynow and again I'll get something in the mail that I end up using & is helpful.
Going through the get even thing, as funny as it is to talk about here, serves no purpose, is time consuming and really is nothing to emotionally concern yourself with, by taking personally.
It's only people doing their job by prospecting for new clients for their business.
Really... just chuck stuff you consider junk in the trash.
And there.... you are done w/that part of your day...Now what to do with the other 23 hours & 59 minutes left in the day?
I've got it.... get a sales job as a telemarketer!

[PeteMac]

My 15 tear old daughter delt with a call, from India of course, in such a beautiful way - I was proud: It went something like this:

(Caller was from a phone company trying to sell us a cell phone and plan)
Daughter: (very excitedly!) What, we've won a car!!! WOW - Hey dad, we won a car. What colour is it?
Caller: No, no. I said VirginBlue (local phone company.)
Daughter: It's blue? Can we get it in red?
Caller: No, no. It's a phone.
Daughter: It has a phone as well? WOW. But can we get a red one?

(This went on, and on, and on, for about 10 minutes - my ex and I were crying with laughter.)

(finally)
Daughter: What is it? A holiday?! WOW! Hey dad, we won a holiday!
Caller: Yes, you won a holiday. To Paris. Do you like Paris? . . . (and hung up.)

That had to be one expensive phone call ! (and no sale!)

[PeteMac]

Sorry

[rextasy]

Originally Posted by Unseen

I'm not sure why all the hostility toward junk mail. Did you ever think that it's only "junk" if it doesn't interest you? Have I opened up some business mail and said, "Yeah, I want that?" You bet I have and I also bet that if you say you never have you're either lying or you've only had spending money for a very short time.

Because junk mail makes me think I'm getting real mail when I'm not. And I have to take my thrills where I can get 'em.

[Unseen]

Originally Posted by rextasy

Because junk mail makes me think I'm getting real mail when I'm not. And I have to take my thrills where I can get 'em.

You don't seriously mean you don't know it's junk until you open it?

Some clues:

1) It doesn't tell you who it's from or it's from a bank or credit card company you don't do business with.
2) It has a picture of some golf course or something that's totally not your thing.
3) It says it's "IMPORTANT" (never is) or "time sensitive" (only if you're going to care, which you likely won't).

I'm sure others here will think of even more clues.

You'll soon be able to recognize junk mail without even having to open it.

[Nick JD]

If you really want the junk mail to stop - print out a page of arabic text, sprinkle talcum powder over it and then wrap it and seal it in the reply-paid envelope.

Works a treat! There's no junk mail in jail...

[rextasy]

Originally Posted by Unseen

You don't seriously mean you don't know it's junk until you open it?

Some clues:

1) It doesn't tell you who it's from or it's from a bank or credit card company you don't do business with.
2) It has a picture of some golf course or something that's totally not your thing.
3) It says it's "IMPORTANT" (never is) or "time sensitive" (only if you're going to care, which you likely won't).

I'm sure others here will think of even more clues.

You'll soon be able to recognize junk mail without even having to open it.

Of course I recognize it when I see it. I was being semi-sarcastic. But when I open the mailbox door and see letters, it does raise my hopes a little. Like I said, it don't take much to thrill me.

[Scott S]

Originally Posted by Unseen

You don't seriously mean you don't know it's junk until you open it?

Some clues:

1) It doesn't tell you who it's from or it's from a bank or credit card company you don't do business with.
2) It has a picture of some golf course or something that's totally not your thing.
3) It says it's "IMPORTANT" (never is) or "time sensitive" (only if you're going to care, which you likely won't).

I'm sure others here will think of even more clues.

You'll soon be able to recognize junk mail without even having to open it.

Another clue: it's from Delaware.


I'd be careful with the "that person passed away" gag -- I've heard of that info making it into official records!

- Scott