Me, a millionaire!

Sidney Vicious · September 19th, 2008, 10:36 AM

Checked my $ this a.m. - I have the info loaded into a Yahoo site that tracks the ups and downs (and downs!) as some commentators are saying that Money Market accounts are vulnerable . . . . I have a couple of bucks there but

for the moment I have over $15,000,000.00 in my money market account.

Questions:

1) Should I diversify?

2) Am I insured to that amount in an Money Market account?

3) How can I get that money before Janus realizes that a Yahoo site

glitch has made me appear to be insanely wealthy?

Blues Hurler · September 19th, 2008, 10:39 AM

Before anyone notices the mistake, quickly tranfer the money to me, in Canada, where it will be safe(?!). Then, I can pay you an allowance, to be negotiated at a later date. It's the best thing for you, really. Glad i could help.

Sidney Vicious · September 19th, 2008, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blues Hurler

Before anyone notices the mistake, quickly tranfer the money to me, in Canada, where it will be safe(?!). Then, I can pay you an allowance, to be negotiated at a later date. It's the best thing for you, really. Glad i could help.

I appreciate the offer but for overseas banking I prefer Nigeria.

Ben Harmless · September 19th, 2008, 10:45 AM

I checked the weather on a local news site the other day. It was a bit warm out - 54000 degrees, actually.

I skipped my jacket.

Sidney Vicious · September 19th, 2008, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Harmless

I checked the weather on a local news site the other day. It was a bit warm out - 54000 degrees, actually.

I skipped my jacket.

Sure, 54000 degrees sounds like a lot -

but was that Celsius or Fahrenheit?

David Barnett · September 19th, 2008, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sidney Vicious

Sure, 54000 degrees sounds like a lot -

but was that Celsius or Fahrenheit?

Kelvin, but still...

maestrovert · September 19th, 2008, 11:01 AM

Bank in Nigeria ? wouldn't ya rather go Suisse ?

Jakedog · September 19th, 2008, 11:09 AM

I'd cash that sucker out asap, and come tomorrow morning, I'd be a Mexican. So long suckers!!

TheGoodTexan · September 19th, 2008, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Harmless

I checked the weather on a local news site the other day. It was a bit warm out - 54000 degrees, actually.

But at least it's a dry heat.

6942 · September 19th, 2008, 11:31 AM

Buy a LOT of lap dances for $15 Mil.............................................

Steve

RickG501 · September 19th, 2008, 11:44 AM

Si, mi amigo senor Jakedog. Vamoose mui importante,

morroben · September 19th, 2008, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGoodTexan

But at least it's a dry heat.

Beat me to it.

goldtopper · September 19th, 2008, 11:48 AM

FROM: Mr. Ben Ahore
Central Bank of Nigeria
Lagos, Nigeria
[Phone Number]

TO: Dorkus Malorkus

Dear Sir:

I have been requested by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company has recently concluded a large number of contracts for oil exploration in the sub-Sahara region. The contracts have immediately produced moneys equalling US$40,000,000. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company is desirous of oil exploration in other parts of the world, however, because of certain regulations of the Nigerian Government, it is unable to move these funds to another region.

You assistance is requested as a non-Nigerian citizen to assist the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, and also the Central Bank of Nigeria, in moving these funds out of Nigeria. If the funds can be transferred to your name, in your United States account, then you can forward the funds as directed by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company. In exchange for your accomodating services, the Nigerian National Petroleum Company would agree to allow you to retain 10%, or US$4 million of this amount.

However, to be a legitimate transferee of these moneys according to Nigerian law, you must presently be a depositor of at least US$100,000 in a Nigerian bank which is regulated by the Central Bank of Nigeria.

If it will be possible for you to assist us, we would be most grateful. We suggest that you meet with us in person in Lagos, and that during your visit I introduce you to the representatives of the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, as well as with certain officials of the Central Bank of Nigeria.

Please call me at your earliest convenience at [Phone Number]. Time is of the essence in this matter; very quickly the Nigerian Government will realize that the Central Bank is maintaining this amount on deposit, and attempt to levy certain depository taxes on it.

Yours truly, etc.

Ben Ahore

byrdbrain · September 19th, 2008, 12:14 PM

Bridge investments have always worked well for me.
I've bought several surprisingly famous constructions for laughably modest sums of money.

Sidney Vicious · September 19th, 2008, 03:37 PM

I double checked my portfolio before sending the loot to that nice Nigerian man for safekeeping and am sorry to say I am back to being a lowly thousandaire -

now if only I can figure out what to tell my (ex)boss . . .

Guitar_Ninja · September 19th, 2008, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Harmless

I checked the weather on a local news site the other day. It was a bit warm out - 54000 degrees, actually.

I skipped my jacket.

Yeah, but it's a dry heat.

Alamo · September 19th, 2008, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldtopper

FROM: Mr. Ben Ahore
Central Bank of Nigeria
Lagos, Nigeria
[Phone Number]...
We suggest that you meet with us in person in Lagos, and that during your visit I introduce you to the representatives of the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, as well as with certain officials of the Central Bank of Nigeria...

Well, the last time I visited Lagos and was introduced to a representative of the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, I had a strange gut-feeling about the guy.
his music was so weired

that I decided not to do any business with him.
otherwise he was a nice chap.
here's a picture of my friend, just outside the bank

mickeydean · September 19th, 2008, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sidney Vicious

I appreciate the offer but for overseas banking I prefer Nigeria.

it just so happens the former president of nigeria emails at least once a week

with a business offer so i can hook you up.

boris bubbanov · September 19th, 2008, 04:38 PM

I pulled all my money out of stock market, timed to the end of today.

If I ever did pick an investment that appreciated once the middlemen took their cut, no doubt it'd be diverted to Sikkim or somewhere's.

I just realized, it's been a long time since Mr. Wuh in Hong Kong offered to tailor me a bunch of suits, if only I sent a small advance. I got that offer every few weeks for decades, but no longer. I suspect as of now, Mr. Wuh and most others abroad can probably buy and sell the average American these days. If he's still at it, Mr. Wuh is scamming folks in the U A E instead.

September 19th, 2008, 10:36 AM	#1 (permalink)
Sidney Vicious Tele-Afflicted Join Date: May 2003 Location: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA Posts: 1,156 9 Photos	Me, a millionaire! Checked my $ this a.m. - I have the info loaded into a Yahoo site that tracks the ups and downs (and downs!) as some commentators are saying that Money Market accounts are vulnerable . . . . I have a couple of bucks there but for the moment I have over $15,000,000.00 in my money market account. Questions: 1) Should I diversify? 2) Am I insured to that amount in an Money Market account? 3) How can I get that money before Janus realizes that a Yahoo site glitch has made me appear to be insanely wealthy? __________________ "Oh no. It wasn't the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast!"

September 19th, 2008, 10:39 AM	#2 (permalink)
Blues Hurler Tele-Holic Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 653 6 Photos	Before anyone notices the mistake, quickly tranfer the money to me, in Canada, where it will be safe(?!). Then, I can pay you an allowance, to be negotiated at a later date. It's the best thing for you, really. Glad i could help. __________________ The blues ain't about theory, they's about therapy.

September 19th, 2008, 10:45 AM	#4 (permalink)
Ben Harmless Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Albany, NY US of A Posts: 3,264 6 Photos	I checked the weather on a local news site the other day. It was a bit warm out - 54000 degrees, actually. I skipped my jacket. __________________ "I think I'll go for the life of sin, followed by the last-minute, presto-change-o, deathbed repentance." - B. Simpson

September 19th, 2008, 11:01 AM	#7 (permalink)
maestrovert Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: West Branch Mi. Posts: 6,537	Bank in Nigeria ? wouldn't ya rather go Suisse ? __________________ Sing the Song Bro' Play on Drummer www.godonthe.net

September 19th, 2008, 11:09 AM	#8 (permalink)
Jakedog Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Cleveland,OH But my heart's still in TE Posts: 3,063	I'd cash that sucker out asap, and come tomorrow morning, I'd be a Mexican. So long suckers!! __________________ "Them that don't know him won't like him, and them that do sometimes won't know how to take him..."

September 19th, 2008, 11:31 AM	#10 (permalink)
6942 Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Western Maryland Posts: 1,592	Buy a LOT of lap dances for $15 Mil............................................. Steve

September 19th, 2008, 11:44 AM	#11 (permalink)
RickG501 Tele-Holic Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma City Age: 54 Posts: 956	Si, mi amigo senor Jakedog. Vamoose mui importante, __________________ I know my words sound strange to you but if you wait til my song is sung and my story's told you might come to understand...

September 19th, 2008, 11:48 AM	#13 (permalink)
goldtopper Tele-Holic Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell Posts: 935	FROM: Mr. Ben Ahore Central Bank of Nigeria Lagos, Nigeria [Phone Number] TO: Dorkus Malorkus Dear Sir: I have been requested by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company has recently concluded a large number of contracts for oil exploration in the sub-Sahara region. The contracts have immediately produced moneys equalling US$40,000,000. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company is desirous of oil exploration in other parts of the world, however, because of certain regulations of the Nigerian Government, it is unable to move these funds to another region. You assistance is requested as a non-Nigerian citizen to assist the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, and also the Central Bank of Nigeria, in moving these funds out of Nigeria. If the funds can be transferred to your name, in your United States account, then you can forward the funds as directed by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company. In exchange for your accomodating services, the Nigerian National Petroleum Company would agree to allow you to retain 10%, or US$4 million of this amount. However, to be a legitimate transferee of these moneys according to Nigerian law, you must presently be a depositor of at least US$100,000 in a Nigerian bank which is regulated by the Central Bank of Nigeria. If it will be possible for you to assist us, we would be most grateful. We suggest that you meet with us in person in Lagos, and that during your visit I introduce you to the representatives of the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, as well as with certain officials of the Central Bank of Nigeria. Please call me at your earliest convenience at [Phone Number]. Time is of the essence in this matter; very quickly the Nigerian Government will realize that the Central Bank is maintaining this amount on deposit, and attempt to levy certain depository taxes on it. Yours truly, etc. Ben Ahore __________________ ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

September 19th, 2008, 12:14 PM	#14 (permalink)
byrdbrain Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sweden Age: 50 Posts: 1,410 4 Photos	Bridge investments have always worked well for me. I've bought several surprisingly famous constructions for laughably modest sums of money. __________________ In vino securitas

September 19th, 2008, 03:37 PM	#15 (permalink)
Sidney Vicious Tele-Afflicted Join Date: May 2003 Location: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA Posts: 1,156 9 Photos	UPDATE! I double checked my portfolio before sending the loot to that nice Nigerian man for safekeeping and am sorry to say I am back to being a lowly thousandaire - now if only I can figure out what to tell my (ex)boss . . . __________________ "Oh no. It wasn't the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast!"

September 19th, 2008, 04:38 PM	#19 (permalink)
boris bubbanov Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: New Orleans, LA + in the past Posts: 8,518	I pulled all my money out of stock market, timed to the end of today. If I ever did pick an investment that appreciated once the middlemen took their cut, no doubt it'd be diverted to Sikkim or somewhere's. I just realized, it's been a long time since Mr. Wuh in Hong Kong offered to tailor me a bunch of suits, if only I sent a small advance. I got that offer every few weeks for decades, but no longer. I suspect as of now, Mr. Wuh and most others abroad can probably buy and sell the average American these days. If he's still at it, Mr. Wuh is scamming folks in the U A E instead. __________________ Bubban0v