Four years ago... (very sad)

trag-o-caster · March 3rd, 2008, 09:54 PM

It was four years ago that I lost my wife of 8 years and the mother of two of my children.

We all got together at the cemetary today, with my wife's mom, and all the kids. As they say, you'll never get over it - but it just gets a little easier to deal with as time passes....

Here's an old photo of us right about the time that we got married...

Thank you everyone for all of your thoughts, prayers, love and support.

Daddydex · March 3rd, 2008, 10:00 PM

I didn't know Tim. Very sorry. Hang in there.

Dan

imwjl · March 3rd, 2008, 10:02 PM

Hang in there, carry on as best as can and good luck.

All the best.

WJL

jumpnblues · March 3rd, 2008, 10:05 PM

Man, Tim, she was beautiful. My sympathies again.

Tom

buddywayne · March 3rd, 2008, 10:05 PM

So very sorry for your loss Trag.

rhinocaster · March 3rd, 2008, 10:12 PM

It breaks my heart.

I hope you remember all the good.

My deepest sympathies.

pengipete · March 3rd, 2008, 10:15 PM

That's a beautiful memorial stone and the epitaph is a lovely testament to your wife.

Jakedog · March 3rd, 2008, 10:31 PM

Wow, I remember when that happened. Doesn't seem like four years ago.

Just remember that you have her with you everyday, as she lives on in your children.

I'm sending you a big mental hug man.

Jake

Twang · March 3rd, 2008, 10:36 PM

Tim, I remember when that happened too.

Occasionally I think about it when I'm reading one of your posts and I'm glad you are here.

Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

Mr. Sparkle · March 3rd, 2008, 11:18 PM

My heart goes out to you, brother. Don't know what I'd do without my best friend. I'll pray for your healing.

getbent · March 3rd, 2008, 11:54 PM

Tim, I can sure see the love in that picture. I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how you must feel, but you are in my thoughts.

garytelecastor · March 4th, 2008, 01:03 AM

Tim-I am so sorry, man. She was a beauty. Great Face, Great smile. Looks like she probably was a lot of fun. As Bent said, you can see the love you two had for each other. Maybe even a little pride on your part for such a neat partner.
I am truly sorry.
You will be in my thoughts.

markothefish · March 4th, 2008, 02:57 AM

That's a very very beautiful stone , it's quite a lovely tribute to her . It's wonderful for your children that you keep her memory alive that way...

geddins · March 4th, 2008, 07:13 AM

I had no idea. I cannot even imagine losing my wife; and I'm so sorry for the loss of yours. I've read many of your posts and can tell you are a dedicated father...you're doin a great job there...keep at it and hang in.

G

trag-o-caster · March 4th, 2008, 07:21 AM

Thanks to all...

She wrote poetry, and was very good at it. She had once written a beautiful poem for all of the women in her rather large family, likening each one - aunts, cousins, etc. to a particular tree in the middle of the forest. That line on her stone is the very last line of her poem. I thought it was very fitting.

Thank God that I have always had, and still have a wonderful relationship with all of her family. They're the reason why the kids and I are still in Michigan - otherwise I'd move to somewhere more (ahem) "musician-friendly". I love my mother in law dearly and we kinda prop each other up.

I'm sorry. I didn't want to bring anyone down, but today marks the fourth anniversary, and I had just returned from the cemetary yesterday when I started that post.

And yes - I'm still HERE witcha (as Hound Dog Taylor would say). Ain't nowhere's else I'd rather be, 'cept on stage! Music is the best therapy in the world.

Dr. T · March 4th, 2008, 07:47 AM

Just yesterday, or the day before, I read one of your posts and wondered how you were doing since then. Looks like you're doing o.k. Don't be shy about grieving as long as you need to. The sixth anniversary of my dad's passing is coming up and I still feel the loss; less keenly, maybe, but still there. And it's the same with the loss of an infant son 32 years ago, I always get blind-sided when that date arrives.

I share these things, not so anybody feels bad for me, but only to say that I understand. Four years is not a long time still to be grieving this loss. God bless.

RickG501 · March 4th, 2008, 07:54 AM

So sorry to hear of this. Peace brother.

furrfurrfurr · March 4th, 2008, 08:14 AM

Hang in there, Tim. Thoughts and prayers.

Furr

Larry F · March 4th, 2008, 08:21 AM

Best thoughts to you, Tim.

Scott McCray · March 4th, 2008, 08:22 AM

Tim,

No words can convey how sad...thoughts and prayers applied.

Scott

Scotland · March 4th, 2008, 08:25 AM

It doesn't seem like four years ago since I read your terrible news.
Good to see you are continually looking onwards though. How are the kids ?

JimiBryant · March 4th, 2008, 08:28 AM

Tim, that's so very sad.. she was way too young to leave the world.

nothing that can be said will ever make up for your loss, but you know she'll
always be young and beautiful as you remember her.

I'm so sorry.. hope your kids are doing all right.. hang in there and try to be
strong for the youngsters' sake.

there's obviously a lot of love for you on TDPRI; four years is both a long time
and hardly any time at all.. may peace be with you & yours, my friend.

eryque · March 4th, 2008, 08:28 AM

I remember when that happened, and I honestly can't believe that it was 4 years ago already.

I'm glad you're still here and I'm glad you're still doing well. You're a testament to perseverance.

neocaster · March 4th, 2008, 08:40 AM

I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know what I would do without my wife, and I do my best not to think about it. My heart goes out to you. I hope you can celebrate her life in the wake of such a profound and painful loss.

Tim Armstrong · March 4th, 2008, 09:39 AM

Aw, man, I can't believe it's been four years, either.

But I've sure enjoyed reading your posts for the last year or two, so I reckon you're living the kind of life she's want you and the kids to be living!

No one ever truly dies as long as their loved ones remember them.

Cheers, Tim

trag-o-caster · March 4th, 2008, 01:57 PM

The kids are all doing well. They don't talk about what happened much, and when they do it's always in very matter of fact way. They never seem to get depressed about it, or I never catch them crying about it. They seem to have dealt with it better than I have.

Young Tim at 14 is into karate in a big big way. He's put aside music for it, although he has expressed interest in getting back into his drums.

Diana just turned 11. She's a "Pre-Teen" and wants the world to know! She's WAY into Hannah Montana, which probably goes without saying.

John is now 8, and he's STILL a comedian. He drives his siblings CRAZY with his non-stop gags. He's not shy in the least, and he's outgoing to the point of IN YOUR FACE.

I think most of you know that I've stayed here in Michigan so that the kids can be near their Moms family. I don't have much for family - one brother in Calif. and one brother in Ark. and that's it. So we stay here so they can always be driving distance to gramma and grandpa, all of their aunts and uncles, etc. Cristi's family is HUGE. I'm glad to be in their good graces!

Unfortunately, that sticks me in an area where it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to find a gig, without driving to the Detroit/Ann Arbor area - unless I want to make $50 per night. Even THOSE gigs are near impossible to find. So, I haven't really gigged much in the last few years. Just here and there.

March 3rd, 2008, 09:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
trag-o-caster Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Flushing, Michigan Posts: 4,507	Four years ago... (very sad) It was four years ago that I lost my wife of 8 years and the mother of two of my children. We all got together at the cemetary today, with my wife's mom, and all the kids. As they say, you'll never get over it - but it just gets a little easier to deal with as time passes.... Here's an old photo of us right about the time that we got married... Thank you everyone for all of your thoughts, prayers, love and support. __________________ Timothy Jon Lamb

March 3rd, 2008, 10:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
Daddydex Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 1,593	I didn't know Tim. Very sorry. Hang in there. Dan __________________ Teles are like Mr. Potato head

March 3rd, 2008, 10:05 PM	#4 (permalink)
jumpnblues Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Midwest Age: 58 Posts: 1,633	Man, Tim, she was beautiful. My sympathies again. Tom __________________ jumpnblues "Heaven St." (Original Blues Instrumental): http://www.box.net/shared/static/z96atf0zn2.mp3 http://www.myspace.com/drbluezz

March 3rd, 2008, 10:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
buddywayne Tele-Holic Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: missouri Age: 62 Posts: 578 6 Photos	So very sorry for your loss Trag. __________________ 51 luv!!

March 3rd, 2008, 10:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
rhinocaster Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Oregon Age: 44 Posts: 1,217	It breaks my heart. I hope you remember all the good. My deepest sympathies. __________________ Just because I "Don't" get it doesn't mean I "Won't" get it!

March 3rd, 2008, 10:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
imwjl Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Wisconsin, USA Posts: 1,164	Hang in there, carry on as best as can and good luck. All the best. WJL

March 3rd, 2008, 10:15 PM	#7 (permalink)
pengipete Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Gloucester U.K. Age: 47 Posts: 1,128	That's a beautiful memorial stone and the epitaph is a lovely testament to your wife.

March 3rd, 2008, 10:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
Jakedog Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Cleveland,OH But my heart's still in TE Posts: 2,982	Wow, I remember when that happened. Doesn't seem like four years ago. Just remember that you have her with you everyday, as she lives on in your children. I'm sending you a big mental hug man. Jake __________________ "Them that don't know him won't like him, and them that do sometimes won't know how to take him..."

March 3rd, 2008, 10:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
Twang Tele-Holic Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Age: 44 Posts: 637	Tim, I remember when that happened too. Occasionally I think about it when I'm reading one of your posts and I'm glad you are here. Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

March 3rd, 2008, 11:18 PM	#10 (permalink)
Mr. Sparkle Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Carlsbad, CA Age: 40 Posts: 1,305 4 Photos	My heart goes out to you, brother. Don't know what I'd do without my best friend. I'll pray for your healing.

March 3rd, 2008, 11:54 PM	#11 (permalink)
getbent Moderator Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: San Benito County, California Age: 48 Posts: 9,551 37 Photos	Tim, I can sure see the love in that picture. I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how you must feel, but you are in my thoughts. __________________

March 4th, 2008, 01:03 AM	#12 (permalink)
garytelecastor Friend of Leo's Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Minnesota Posts: 3,405 18 Photos	Tim-I am so sorry, man. She was a beauty. Great Face, Great smile. Looks like she probably was a lot of fun. As Bent said, you can see the love you two had for each other. Maybe even a little pride on your part for such a neat partner. I am truly sorry. You will be in my thoughts. __________________ éí 'aaníígÓÓ 'áhoot'é Would you mind holding this bag while we go through the custom shop????? Redd Volkaert is a Jedi Knight at one with the Force!!!

March 4th, 2008, 02:57 AM	#13 (permalink)
markothefish Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Greenville, Rhode Island Age: 42 Posts: 1,899 7 Photos	That's a very very beautiful stone , it's quite a lovely tribute to her . It's wonderful for your children that you keep her memory alive that way... __________________ If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it. W. C. Fields

March 4th, 2008, 07:13 AM	#14 (permalink)
geddins Tele-Afflicted Join Date: May 2005 Location: Texas Age: 46 Posts: 1,815	I had no idea. I cannot even imagine losing my wife; and I'm so sorry for the loss of yours. I've read many of your posts and can tell you are a dedicated father...you're doin a great job there...keep at it and hang in. G __________________ www.myspace.com/gregeddins

March 4th, 2008, 07:21 AM	#15 (permalink)
trag-o-caster Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Flushing, Michigan Posts: 4,507	Thanks to all... She wrote poetry, and was very good at it. She had once written a beautiful poem for all of the women in her rather large family, likening each one - aunts, cousins, etc. to a particular tree in the middle of the forest. That line on her stone is the very last line of her poem. I thought it was very fitting. Thank God that I have always had, and still have a wonderful relationship with all of her family. They're the reason why the kids and I are still in Michigan - otherwise I'd move to somewhere more (ahem) "musician-friendly". I love my mother in law dearly and we kinda prop each other up. I'm sorry. I didn't want to bring anyone down, but today marks the fourth anniversary, and I had just returned from the cemetary yesterday when I started that post. And yes - I'm still HERE witcha (as Hound Dog Taylor would say). Ain't nowhere's else I'd rather be, 'cept on stage! Music is the best therapy in the world. __________________ Timothy Jon Lamb

March 4th, 2008, 07:47 AM	#16 (permalink)
Dr. T Tele-Meister Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Pittston, Maine Posts: 475	Just yesterday, or the day before, I read one of your posts and wondered how you were doing since then. Looks like you're doing o.k. Don't be shy about grieving as long as you need to. The sixth anniversary of my dad's passing is coming up and I still feel the loss; less keenly, maybe, but still there. And it's the same with the loss of an infant son 32 years ago, I always get blind-sided when that date arrives. I share these things, not so anybody feels bad for me, but only to say that I understand. Four years is not a long time still to be grieving this loss. God bless. __________________ What we lack in expertise we make up for in enthusiasm.

March 4th, 2008, 07:54 AM	#17 (permalink)
RickG501 Tele-Holic Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma City Age: 54 Posts: 870	So sorry to hear of this. Peace brother.

March 4th, 2008, 08:14 AM	#18 (permalink)
furrfurrfurr Friend of Leo's Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: South of Heaven Posts: 2,204	Hang in there, Tim. Thoughts and prayers. Furr __________________ Hope I'm not too Messianic or a trifle too Satanic. Meow.

March 4th, 2008, 08:21 AM	#19 (permalink)
Larry F Friend of Leo's Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Iowa City, IA Age: 55 Posts: 2,372	Best thoughts to you, Tim. __________________ larry

March 4th, 2008, 08:22 AM	#20 (permalink)
Scott McCray Tele-Meister Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Charlotte (and Cullowhee), NC Age: 49 Posts: 277 21 Photos	Tim, No words can convey how sad...thoughts and prayers applied. Scott __________________ You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. -- Frank Zappa

March 4th, 2008, 08:25 AM	#21 (permalink)
Scotland Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Aberdeen, Scotland, Yewrup Age: 54 Posts: 6,411 3 Photos	It doesn't seem like four years ago since I read your terrible news. Good to see you are continually looking onwards though. How are the kids ? __________________ All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand !

March 4th, 2008, 08:28 AM	#22 (permalink)
JimiBryant Tele-Afflicted Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Chicago Chicago that toddlin' town Age: 46 Posts: 1,718	Tim, that's so very sad.. she was way too young to leave the world. nothing that can be said will ever make up for your loss, but you know she'll always be young and beautiful as you remember her. I'm so sorry.. hope your kids are doing all right.. hang in there and try to be strong for the youngsters' sake. there's obviously a lot of love for you on TDPRI; four years is both a long time and hardly any time at all.. may peace be with you & yours, my friend. __________________ *we all shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun.*

March 4th, 2008, 08:28 AM	#23 (permalink)
eryque Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: albany, ny [not chicago] Posts: 6,982 44 Photos	I remember when that happened, and I honestly can't believe that it was 4 years ago already. I'm glad you're still here and I'm glad you're still doing well. You're a testament to perseverance. __________________ my blog: eryque.blogspot.com Updated 9.17.08! Subscribe_____________________

March 4th, 2008, 08:40 AM	#24 (permalink)
neocaster Friend of Leo's Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Chester County, PA Age: 35 Posts: 3,492 11 Photos	I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know what I would do without my wife, and I do my best not to think about it. My heart goes out to you. I hope you can celebrate her life in the wake of such a profound and painful loss. __________________ "...You don't need faith if you know it's gonna work!" "The views expressed here are mine and do not reflect the official opinion of my employer or the organization through which the Internet was accessed."

March 4th, 2008, 09:39 AM	#25 (permalink)
Tim Armstrong Moderator Poster Extraordinaire Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Berlin, Maryland, USA Age: 49 Posts: 8,904	Aw, man, I can't believe it's been four years, either. But I've sure enjoyed reading your posts for the last year or two, so I reckon you're living the kind of life she's want you and the kids to be living! No one ever truly dies as long as their loved ones remember them. Cheers, Tim __________________ http://www.moodswingers.org

March 4th, 2008, 01:57 PM	#26 (permalink)
trag-o-caster Friend of Leo's Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Flushing, Michigan Posts: 4,507	The kids are all doing well. They don't talk about what happened much, and when they do it's always in very matter of fact way. They never seem to get depressed about it, or I never catch them crying about it. They seem to have dealt with it better than I have. Young Tim at 14 is into karate in a big big way. He's put aside music for it, although he has expressed interest in getting back into his drums. Diana just turned 11. She's a "Pre-Teen" and wants the world to know! She's WAY into Hannah Montana, which probably goes without saying. John is now 8, and he's STILL a comedian. He drives his siblings CRAZY with his non-stop gags. He's not shy in the least, and he's outgoing to the point of IN YOUR FACE. I think most of you know that I've stayed here in Michigan so that the kids can be near their Moms family. I don't have much for family - one brother in Calif. and one brother in Ark. and that's it. So we stay here so they can always be driving distance to gramma and grandpa, all of their aunts and uncles, etc. Cristi's family is HUGE. I'm glad to be in their good graces! Unfortunately, that sticks me in an area where it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to find a gig, without driving to the Detroit/Ann Arbor area - unless I want to make $50 per night. Even THOSE gigs are near impossible to find. So, I haven't really gigged much in the last few years. Just here and there. __________________ Timothy Jon Lamb