My wife doesn't want any females in the band

The band I'm in is at a turning point. We (4 guys) have had a good 2 year run but our main singer / acoustic guitar player had to quit because of problems at home, having to take care of his ailing mother.

So now we're looking for a new singer. I was thinking how we might be more commercially successful if we had a nice lady up front who could sing lights out, just bring the charisma, stage presence and vocal talent that'll turn heads and get people to watch the band.. as only a talented lady can do.

Who wants to watch a bunch of ugly guys when you can have a sweet lady doing the singing? So I mentioned this to my wife, who let me know that she would much prefer that we just have guys in the band as oppose to letting a lady join us. I said this is purely for commerical purposes of course, but she still let me know how she felt.

Anyone else had to deal with this? You married guys in any bands with females? Ever had to audition and recruit a female singer? I'm not sure what we're getting into here.

We have a female singer in the band and it does get a positive reaction. I haven't had any trouble from my good lady wife about it.

The way I see it is this - there are females at my work place and there are men at hers. We are always going to have to work with members of the opposite sex and we should be able to cope with it.

She may feel differently once she has met your new singer.

The band I'm playing in was asked to back up a young 18 year old girl for her album. Her family after hearing us wanted us to back her live as well. The wife want happy about that at all. I didn't get it either because she could be my daughter and quite frankly was not very fit or attractive and my wife is beautiful and very fit. I guess women are just always jealous creatures.

I guess women are just always jealous creatures.
No. SOME women are jealous creatures. Just like some men are.

Why not just hire your wife? IIRC you joined a band, fired everybody and replaced them with family members.

Why not just hire your wife? IIRC you joined a band, fired everybody and replaced them with family members.


A) My wife can't sing, er at least not to the point that anyone would want to listen

B) I've run out of talented musicians in my family to recruit. :mrgreen:


The way I see it is this - there are females at my work place and there are men at hers. We are always going to have to work with members of the opposite sex and we should be able to cope with it.


Good point thanks!

:lol:

Trying to find a female for commercial reasons sound s kinda sorta sexist? Maybe you could just interview for a new lead singer, male or female. That way you cover all the bases , and the wife may take it a little better. Sounds like a hot babe up front would be be more entertaining than a good singer( at least thats how Mama may see it). Interviewing all singers and selecting the best would be drawing from a larger base so talent wise you have a better selection, and if its a woman then she gets the job.:lol:

Just tell your wife that the new singer is a lesbian, and that you're not (a lesbian). So no problem right honey?

No. SOME women are jealous creatures. Just like some men are.

Very true!

I was in two bands with female lead singers, and it definitely helped in getting gigs. Male club owners were intrigued by dealing with female singers, and tried to flirt with them, etc, and lady club owners felt a sort of sisterhood connection with the singers. Audiences clearly enjoyed it. The main point, which you are correct about, is that a band does need some type of "thing" to set it apart. There are lots of good players, so that's not a distinctive, unique appeal, but having something a little different has helped us a lot.

After our band with the female singer had run its course, I knew we had to once again come up with something unique, so we formed our current surf band, and we are playing far more than I ever thought we would, because it's a little different.

i'm married, but I've never faced this situation.

But here is what it comes down to: is the band more important than your marriage? If it were my wife, I'd respect her concerns. Makes life a lot less tense at home. We compromise on a lot of things and for 25 years now our relationship has been give and take on both our parts. But when it comes to my wife being concerned about other women, I defer to her on the issue even when her concerns are totally unfounded. It's just so much easier.


good luck

dan

I think you need to talk to your wife and find out what really bothers her about it. Is she so insecure that she thinks you'll run off with any female that joins the band? Does she have any valid reason to be worried?
Assuming that this is an "all in her mind" thing, I would audition both male and female singers and maybe have your wife there during the auditions. If a female singer is clearly the best fit for the band your wife might see it at the audition.....

Anyone else had to deal with this? You married guys in any bands with females?

Oh yes, i was in that exact situation. Only difference was, that the female singer actually joined the band and THEN came the problems. My wife had been seriously jalous for a yearlong period - she even insisted, that i should leave the band and choose between her and the band.

Problems finally came to a halt when i could assure her, that i really love her and that other girl was no threat of any kind.

My unmarried bandmates on the other hand, well..., they have been wide open for her evident sexual charisma :lol:

Good replies, thanks ya'll!!


In my case, the wife and I have been married for 27 years now. She is not worried that I'm going to run off with some younger woman, or start shacking up with a female singer.


The issue here is my wife wants to be the woman on the stage, singing for the crowds. Unfortunately she does not sing well, or play any other instrument, so this is not an option. My wife is going to be jealous of any other woman that gets to sing on the stage when she can't.


The way I look at it is a great female singer could help bring in a few extra gigs per month, and the $$ would sure help a lot right now. But ya it might just be easier to not deal with wife issues and forget the whole thing.

I was in a band of 30-someting guys as lead singer and when I got married, I left the band. We liked the energy and vibe as an all male band. When they looked for a replacement, they even considered underage girls. I thought the idea was incredibly stupid with old guys and somebody like a Hannah Montana fronting it. To me the whole thing seemed really creepy and others said so, too. But being that it was no longer the band I was in, I didn't have any say. They did bring up the factor that if you want to use a lady, why not one that will bring in a crowd. I just don't know what would happen if my former band got all their 30 something old guy friends to show up and that's all who showed up to a gig.

That being said, if you want the most marketable, yet safe bet, get a female singer from 18-21 who has everything. That will get you gigs! One local band I saw with relatively talentless female singer, but very pretty, still got a ton of attention. If you get somebody like Taylor Swift, you can actually make good money and there are plenty of girls like her who are itching to front a band.

Just make sure she's over 18, and if you have stickler bar owners, then at least 21. For practical purposes, unless your wife sees you as a cradle robber, I think she should be OK with you getting somebody perceived as not a threat. Better yet, get a young female singer who has a boyfriend that is as big as Stallone so there's no question and make him your roadie or soundguy assuming he has opposable thumbs and could turn knobs! ;)

As for gigs, you should do well. Anyway, good luck.

The issue here is my wife wants to be the woman on the stage, singing for the crowds. Unfortunately she does not sing well...



You do know that this condition can be remedied with practice and use, right?

The issue here is my wife wants to be the woman on the stage, singing for the crowds. Unfortunately she does not sing well, or play any other instrument, so this is not an option. My wife is going to be jealous of any other woman that gets to sing on the stage when she can't.

Maybe you could work on some kind of acoustic duo thing with your wife. At home try to work up several songs. Eventually record them and if it isn't working she should be able to hear and bow out knowing that she'd at least been given a shot. If it works...well then you've got another musical source of income that you both participate in.

Maybe you could work on some kind of acoustic duo thing with your wife. At home try to work up several songs. Eventually record them and if it isn't working she should be able to hear and bow out knowing that she'd at least been given a shot. If it works...well then you've got another musical source of income that you both participate in.

I have got it! Not to insult girls in your area creading, but the OP should get a hairy Santa Cruz hippy chick who has more facial hair than any man 'cept the Geico caveman. If the OP's in Texas, I am sure he can find similar in or around Austin.:lol:

...clever wife :mrgreen:

I was in a similar situation about three years ago. The band I was in had five guys. We had been actively playing for a few years and the singer decided to leave the group. We decided to replace him with 3 females (yes...3). They all sang and two played fiddle. And they are about half the age of all they guys in the group. My wife is a really cool woman and in our 20 years together I had not seen her jealous side. I did not think it was any big deal. As a band, we just made the move, I did not ask my wife's permission prior. Perhaps, I should have. It had definitely caused some tension at home. The first year was tough but after a while it got better. Now, it is not an issue.
It was a hard sell.

As far as the commercial aspects of having females in the group, it can help to separate you from the pack. If a club owner has twenty bands trying to play his club and all the other groups a "guys only" bands (all of them probably playing a lot of the same material), you will stand out. It can be part of you Unique Selling Proposition. It can add a whole new dimension to your band. You could play songs you were never able to before with a male singer.

But, in the end your marriage is more important than the band you play with (at least it should be). Playing in a band takes a big commitment with a lot of time devoted to it. You need the support of your wife and family. If she is not comfortable with the situation than it might be best to stay with a male singer.

Good Luck! :razz:

SCIMitXX0AM

Having a chick singer will definatly get you more bookings. The problems start about the 4th job after she has completely flaked out and starts either tanking or not showing up. Not that I have any experience playing in a real band or anything.

The best thing is have a set list of chick songs, run a steady stream of singers that can do them as you need to plus a few songs that they might do that aren't on your list. But you guys are the band. No girl, no problem, just more georgia satellites that night.

Best advice is don't do it.

SCIMitXX0AM



that is great!

I hope OP sees this one.

I had a friend who had much, much younger wife (similar looks) who was in band with husband and then they got signed. When Columbia came calling for big time, they wanted to ditch old man and use just the girl. They said no and now there's no record contract and probably back to square one. I would have taken the deal. How many of us, and our wives, are in dead end jobs or jobs they would not want to do. They should have taken one for the team and signed and had husband been a behind the scenes guy. I think jealously played a part here and it was in hindsight a multi-million dollar mistake being that they already had a Billboard #1 and would have headed down more of the same success but on the big label's terms. I was telling another out of work musician that if somebody wanted to have me join Menudo, I would do it and make the money. You can always go back but strike while the iron is hot.

Most successful band I've ever been in had a female singer - who was great, BTW. Also, you might bring up to the wife that having a lady around REALLY cuts down on the stupid "boy's club" behavior that has made "musician" right above "homeless person" as someone you'd want your daughter to date.

The thread title sounds like a good title, for a song. :mrgreen:

Having a chick singer will definatly get you more bookings. The problems start about the 4th job after she has completely flaked out and starts either tanking or not showing up.



Wow, stereotype much? :shock:

Most successful band I've ever been in had a female singer - who was great, BTW. Also, you might bring up to the wife that having a lady around REALLY cuts down on the stupid "boy's club" behavior that has made "musician" right above "homeless person" as someone you'd want your daughter to date.


good point!

Wow, stereotype much? :shock:

Sorry some people have no reference in reality. You do realize stereotypes exist because they are real, right?

Again, this is a spade:

http://i124.photobucket.com/albums/p23/oldcane/superior_wood_spade.jpg

That spade looks a lot like a spade.

Audition some singers, male and female. Choose the one that makes the most commercial sense and fits with the band. Have your wife at the rehearsals. Let her sing, your ear may not be telling the truth about your wife's voice or it's potential. Let the band vote.

I have got it! Not to insult girls in your area creading, but the OP should get a hairy Santa Cruz hippy chick who has more facial hair than any man 'cept the Geico caveman. If the OP's in Texas, I am sure he can find similar in or around Austin.

Ha! You must have been hanging around downtown or you went to school at UCSC! (approprite mascot: Banana Slug)

oh never mind.....:confused:

Back in the '80s (long before I met my wife-to-be) I was in a band that had two female singers: first one, and then when she left to get married, we replaced her with the second. Our 25th reunion gig in 2009 was the first time the two women worked togther. They got on like old friends, and insisted I join them for this photo, which I call "My Two Favorite... Guitars".

http://www.tdpri.com/forum/attachments/epic-threads/32359d1253887022-put-face-name-2favorite_guitars-jpg

I'm not sure if my wife is jealous, since any such feelings she may have toward these two talented women are overshadowed her complete disgust with any musical activities I may pursue.

Ha! You must have been hanging around downtown or you went to school at UCSC! (approprite mascot: Banana Slug)

I used to do open mics a lot (acoustic solo songwriter in Santa Cruz, UC campus, Felton, Capitola, and Boulder Creek) and then hang out at Kiva my favorite post gig joint. Geico girls are actually kind of cool.:shock:

The issue here is my wife wants to be the woman on the stage, singing for the crowds. Unfortunately she does not sing well, or play any other instrument, so this is not an option. My wife is going to be jealous of any other woman that gets to sing on the stage when she can't.

I can relate to this BB, as I went through something similar with my wife. It took me a while to get to the real bottom of it (in the meantime not really understanding her such that it was just creating issues between us.) What it really came down to in our case was that she wanted to be part of things that were important to me (i.e., music, playing out), and for me to help her to feel important. And that I would want to involved her in my interest. (I tried to get her to go fishing with me... that didn't work out well). I ended up buying her a keyboard and teaching her how to play. She could sing a little, I taught her how to harmonize. I started getting out a guitar so she could learn how to play and sing with me. She actually got quite good with the singing (not so much lead, but harmony) and as of today can do simple things on the keys, and is working hard to get better. And finally the big one, I worked it out so she and I can play out as a duo sometimes, and sometimes as part of something with other musicians. With all that going on, she feels like like she is an important part of the music I am involved with.

I'm sure my situation and yours are not really the same, but I'm guessing if you found a way to involve her in the musical aspect of it, her reasons for being jealous will go away.

I'm not in a band but I run a business and employ a few women. My rule of thumb is that I do not hire any woman who is more attractive than my wife... which is pretty easy actually, cuz wifey is a rather good looker.

:wink:

I'm not in a band but I run a business and employ a few women. My rule of thumb is that I do not hire any woman who is more attractive than my wife... which is pretty easy actually, cuz wifey is a rather good looker.

:wink:

Being that I went to law school and got my undergrad in HR because I was too stoopid and unorganized to get a proper engineering degree and resulting high paying job and I thus feel terrible being in student loan debt, I would befriend you, sue you, and get all your teles (but only the good ones)!:twisted: OK, just kidding but as for hiring, keep that private.:lol:

I'm not in a band but I run a business and employ a few women. My rule of thumb is that I do not hire any woman who is more attractive than my wife... which is pretty easy actually, cuz wifey is a rather good looker.

:wink:

I can affirm that this is good advice. Don't ask. Won't tell. :lol:

My wife USED to get upset about stuff like this. When we were in our twenties. She used to have a wicked jealous streak that I never understood, and pretty much ignored. This has never been a hpbby for me, it's always been a job, and I'll work with whoever gets the bills paid, or gives the band the best chance.

I've been working with female artists my whole life. I actually prefer it in many instances. They are usually (though not always) much more professional and much less juvenile to work with, and they approach songwriting and such much differently than men do. I like the difference. It makes me think.

Now, I have NEVER worked with a "chick singer". Sticking a looker of questionable talent up front just to get gigs and attention is not something I would ever be apart of. And they are ALWAYS of questionable talent. If I'm gonna work with a woman, she has to have substance. She better be a good writer, and she better be able to play her instrument as well as anybody else in the band. if she's good looking too, that's a bonus that will help with booking, but it's not something I judge on.

My wife used to get ticked, but as I said, I ignored it. I see no reason not to worked with talented players, writers, and singers who want to work with me, no matter their gender. She was actually extra threatened not by looks or thoughts of sexual coersion, but by their writing, playing and singing talent. She felt that sombody who had that much in common with me was a danger to our relationship, and that I would eventually rather be with them instead of her.

She's the smartest woman I've ever met in my life (way smarter than me) but she would get kinda stupid sometimes. It took me many years, but I finally convinced her that I'm not now, and will never be, into anybody but her ever again.

Now she gets it, and we have no issues. Part of it, was hanging out with some of these ladies along with their significant others over the years, and her seeing that their husbands or partners had ZERO issue with them working with me. Work is work. As has been said, everybody works with members of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean anything is going on. Hell, I even go on the road with women and stay in the same hotel as they do, with no friction from the wife. Scandalous, I know...

My wife would not put up with me hiring some twenty-something dolled up tart with no real talent aside from shaking her ass. Not because she'd be threatened, but because it would be a low brow sellout move that she would know right away I'd end up regretting. These days however, she has no issue at all with me working with talented and creative women who are actual musicians, writers, and singers.

Spinal Tap Nigel Tufnel and David St Hubbins screaming match You can't f***ing concentrate because your f***ing wife! comes to mind.

http://images.allmoviephoto.com/1984_This_Is_Spinal_Tap/june_chadwick_this_is_spinal_tap_001.jpg

I'd like to be in a band with EmyLou... other than that, yawn...

Yea, we could play all kinda' good songs and go out for an early breakfast at 3 am together and then...

Try being in a band with two of them!
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b255/scantron81/IMG_1004-1.jpg

Luckily I married one of them ;)

My other band has 1-2 females among the four guys.

Just as well, Chicks in the band is usually not a good thing. With some exceptions, of course, but, generally it just doesn't fly well, for a couple different reasons. It's a boy's club, usually, and it messes with the dynamic.

Just as well, Chicks in the band is usually not a good thing. With some exceptions, of course, but, generally it just doesn't fly well, for a couple different reasons. It's a boy's club, usually, and it messes with the dynamic.

Some exceptions...? I could easily name a hundred or more bands that would beg to differ.

:roll:

Back in the '80s (long before I met my wife-to-be) I was in a band that had two female singers: first one, and then when she left to get married, we replaced her with the second. Our 25th reunion gig in 2009 was the first time the two women worked togther. They got on like old friends, and insisted I join them for this photo, which I call "My Two Favorite... Guitars".

http://www.tdpri.com/forum/attachments/epic-threads/32359d1253887022-put-face-name-2favorite_guitars-jpg

I'm not sure if my wife is jealous, since any such feelings she may have toward these two talented women are overshadowed her complete disgust with any musical activities I may pursue.


Wait... what instrument does Elmo play? Or does he sing too?

My first wife would agree. 24 years ago the band I was in hired a really excellent female singer. The band is still together, and the singer and I are the only original members. We got married in 2001.

Just as well, Chicks in the band is usually not a good thing. With some exceptions, of course, but, generally it just doesn't fly well, for a couple different reasons. It's a boy's club, usually, and it messes with the dynamic.

Delivered with all the reason and sensitivity that a seven-year old brings to the conversation. Does your band have weekly meetings of the He Man Woman Haters Club?

Almost every band I've been in since I started gigging has had a woman in the group. I got over hitting on the singer long ago. I was about 20 and it went down real bad. Broke up the band.

One group I play with has two women and the other has one (our drummer) and we may be adding a couple of other members, one of whom is female. We're all human and have things in common to share. I've in a solid relationship and she's good with my bandmates.

The idea of audition everyone you can and pick the best person for the job makes sense to me. I'm sorry that your wife isn't a better singer. Maybe she should start her own band and she how it goes?

I feel your pain. My ex-Wife was extremely jealous and paranoid. She often accused me of fooling around with women at my office (and others as well), and it was a frequent source of conflict. My new lady is totally cool with having female singers in our band. I hate to admit it, but having females adds a nice touch and makes marketing easier.

The band I'm in is at a turning point. We (4 guys) have had a good 2 year run but our main singer / acoustic guitar player had to quit because of problems at home, having to take care of his ailing mother.

So now we're looking for a new singer. I was thinking how we might be more commercially successful if we had a nice lady up front who could sing lights out, just bring the charisma, stage presence and vocal talent that'll turn heads and get people to watch the band.. as only a talented lady can do.

Who wants to watch a bunch of ugly guys when you can have a sweet lady doing the singing? So I mentioned this to my wife, who let me know that she would much prefer that we just have guys in the band as oppose to letting a lady join us. I said this is purely for commerical purposes of course, but she still let me know how she felt.

Anyone else had to deal with this? You married guys in any bands with females? Ever had to audition and recruit a female singer? I'm not sure what we're getting into here.

You signature says "...it is easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission...", have you tried that approach?

You signature says "...it is easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission...", have you tried that approach?

That's a great aphorism for business, I do it a lot at work. However, DO NOT pull that crap on your wife. It won't end well.

Women eh? - they're far more competitive than men and see other women hanging around you as a threat to them. Only thing to do is take your wife along with you.

Just finished a Elk's Club gig with a great "girl singer".
I've also been rehearsing with an amazing female triple threat
(writer/singer/player).
Lotsa fun, lately.:lol:

The band I'm in is at a turning point. We (4 guys) have had a good 2 year run but our main singer / acoustic guitar player had to quit because of problems at home, having to take care of his ailing mother.

So now we're looking for a new singer. I was thinking how we might be more commercially successful if we had a nice lady up front who could sing lights out, just bring the charisma, stage presence and vocal talent that'll turn heads and get people to watch the band.. as only a talented lady can do.

Who wants to watch a bunch of ugly guys when you can have a sweet lady doing the singing? So I mentioned this to my wife, who let me know that she would much prefer that we just have guys in the band as oppose to letting a lady join us. I said this is purely for commerical purposes of course, but she still let me know how she felt.

Anyone else had to deal with this? You married guys in any bands with females? Ever had to audition and recruit a female singer? I'm not sure what we're getting into here.

Uh oh...

A womern in the band begs sexual tension, even when you don't want it.
It isn't easy. The accusations fly when there is no proof, let alone intent!!!

A female singer may feel trapped or, very isolated, around the other guys. Even if there is no intent to do so.
These feelings can be amplified a thousand-fold when on the road.

When a club owner or agent sees her, you will be in HER band!
ALL the group dynamics and chemistry you have worked so hard to establish can change in an instant.
In all fairness, I can only imagine what I would do if I was asked to be the male vocalist for an all-female band. I honestly don't know how I would handle it.

I am in my fourth band with a Female out front. Two other bands tried (for a very short time) and gave-up having one in the band.

In this band, she is married to the drummer.
He is also a very good guitarist and vocalist. They do a two-piece several times a month together as a dinner act.

We get along great, she is a breath of fresh air compared to the rest of them. She helps schlep everything in and out, has no problem winding cords the RIGHT way and putting them where they belong and, has a wicked sense of humor.
One thing I admire about her is her sense of "WE MUST START ON TIME"! Being late is not an option! :)
One in a million!

So tread lightly. You are dealing with a human being, not an object.
If she is single, don't have sex with her. It will ruin EVERYTHING. It will burn bridges that haven't even been built yet.
Trust me!!!

Best of luck.
~ ST

Delivered with all the reason and sensitivity that a seven-year old brings to the conversation. Does your band have weekly meetings of the He Man Woman Haters Club?

No hate at all is involved in my perspective. It may not be the most politically-correct view, but it is one derived from personal experience. It is just the way things are, versus the way they would ideally be. YMMV

If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy.

You don't need better gigs, etc. in my opinion. You don't even necessarily need a singer, a good singer, or a new bandmate, a good band, or a marketing attraction.

You need the focus, balance, clarity, and power that comes when a man and his wife are in harmony, working together to achieve a common goal that is bigger than the sum of their parts.

What happens when there is conflict here? The very foundation of your being is shaken to the core. Any tangible assets are immediately dissolved in chaos. Things taken for granted disappear, life becomes meaningless and devoid of spiritual depth. The bond you have with your mate is too important to risk on anything.

That being said, trust is built, and it's built by action, by deeds.

Some people with little or no natural talent want to be a part of something that is out of there league or skill level. Only persistence and faith can help in this sense. People that are determined will not be denied. Dilettantes, however, are only rewarded on superficial grounds, often only by superficial people.

Build a good high wall around the both of you, keep vigilant, and perish the thought of any means to an end that employs tactics of advertisers and their representatives in the hidden dynasties.

The kind of audience a tele player prefers to have (I would hope) is one that prefers to watch the hands of a picker, rather than experience a crowds' distraction to a cheap focal point.

Nightclubs are very slippery slopes to negotiate. Under the haze of alcohol, lost souls burn in their conflicted hearts for things they ought not, and your band does not want to be a catalyst for this weakness. Only trouble can come when people like or use music for any other reason than it's natural purpose.

I vote to play more music with your wife, but above all, to remember that material things in this life wont amount to a hill of beans when we are gone. There are many people who know first-hand what it is like to be loved for something that in essence will perish back into the dust it came from, and believe me, you don't want any part of that kind of love.

Why don't you find a talented and affable singer, and then ask your wife to meet her to give you the OK?

Right now she is only dealing with an abstract; once she meets the actual person, she will probably change her mind. The female singer in my band is young, lovely and fun and great friends with every spouse of the band.

Some exceptions...? I could easily name a hundred or more bands that would beg to differ.

:roll:

Wow, you've been in a lot of bands.

Really folks, if these are not bands YOU HAVE BEEN IN OR MANAGED you have no idea what the band dynamic was/is. I know some that are miserable but making a good living. If it's a job (meaning you make your living from this and only this) then it doesn't matter what your wife thinks. I was in one band that the couple divorced and the girl singer married the other singer. People asked what band I'd be in next? Why? I know for a fact at city hall there is a divorced couple still working there. Did the town break up because of it? No. It's a job. Do your job.

If this is a hobby do what makes your life happy. Yes, life not wife. Think of it this way as a hobby, would you take a Hawaiian Tropic bikini model fishing on your boat and leave your wife home? Maybe a bad question, most of us actually might. But add in you told your wife about it and chose this chick to go. This is how your wife sees it. I've been making money playing for 36 years. I've been married 21 (plus 9 years with her before that). If you think I'm making this stuff up, call my wife. No matter how ugly the girl when you get home you'll hear "well, how was that girl?" and you can be playing with Linda Rondstat the way she looks now or some young hot thing. Doesn't matter. She sees the bikini model.

Some folks see things only how they ought to be. I was young once too. Saying this is stereotyping or anti- something or other, chauvanistic or whatever buzz word you want to use just means you've never done it yourself. Some of us have and are trying to give advice. I do this for a hobby these days. No way $50 makes up for being miserable.

"Delivered with all the reason and sensitivity that a seven-year old brings to the conversation. Does your band have weekly meetings of the He Man Woman Haters Club?"

So... the movie ~The Commitments~ didn't sink in??? Great flik try it as a primer.

3paf2TLrgsg

2 of the 3 bands I'm in have ladies in them. My wife wasn't crazy about it at first, but she's fine with it now (or so she says).

I have a question for String Tree... How did you get her to wrap chords the "right way?"

How did you get her to wrap chords the "right way?


You only play in C. You can however teach her to wrap cords.

I play in a band with a female singer and there's no jealousy or issues because a) she's talented and b) the bassist is her boyfriend. I also don't mind being "the guitar player" in the band and not the center of attention because I can't sing and she can!

Just a random thought - Add a lady singer with a good hefty size to her, you know, fat.

Then, change the name of the band to 'It's Over!'

We had an awkward moment at rehearsal tonight when a G string popped loose, though :-)

I've been in several bands with female lead singer, and one with female guitar / lead singer and female bass / keys. It was fun with the good ones. My wife goes to most of my gigs (at least since our boys have grown), and she's never had a problem with having a female or two in the band. She does occasionally get an attitude if I seem to be looking at a pretty girl a bit too long....

Anyway, in my opinion, it depends on the talent of the musician (male or female), and the attitude of the wife (or husband). For some people, it isn't worth it. I did play in a band with a fella that married a girl that he met at a gig....two months later, she told him to quit the band or she would divorce him (we had a female singer)......he divorced her soon after that and stayed with the band.

We had an awkward moment at rehearsal tonight when a G string popped loose, though :-)

:mrgreen:

he divorced her soon after that and stayed with the band

I'm guessing good choice. I've seen this kind of crap since I was 15.

2 of the 3 bands I'm in have ladies in them. My wife wasn't crazy about it at first, but she's fine with it now (or so she says).

I have a question for String Tree... How did you get her to wrap chords the "right way?"

She came-up to me while I was tearing down the PA.
"You look like you have a certain way you like to wind your cords, if you show me I could help you out."

I nearly fell over!

Yeah, I do have a way I like my XLR's wound.

Didn't have to show her twice.
How cool is that?

Jesus I don't want a woman in the band :lol::lol: On a more serious note never been in that situation..:razz:

She came-up to me while I was tearing down the PA.
"You look like you have a certain way you like to wind your cords, if you show me I could help you out."

I nearly fell over!

Yeah, I do have a way I like my XLR's wound.

Didn't have to show her twice.
How cool is that?

I've shown both of them several times. They are starting to the get the hang of it now. One of them I've been in bands off and on since 1997. Still can't do it. I bought some cord wrap thingies that have helped.

The band I worked with in the 80's was more or less fronted by a female singer. Now, she sang maybe 60-70% of the material. The drummer sang maybe 10-15%, the second guitarist/keyboard player sang what was left, except that the lead guitarist (OK, the last one), and the bassist had one song each. It allowed them to cover more ground as a cover band.

She was really good and very professional. She made a tidy sum on the side singing commercials, studio stuff, whatever. Lover by all the producers and engineers in the area because she knew how to use a mic, and how to read, and how to behave in a studio session where time was money.

She was married to the bass player, and she, the bassist, and the second guitar had been in former bands together.

That's rough. She might be jealous and be against it but in the end, she is not a member and should not be making a band decision. You can vote to have a guy front the group but it doesn't mean that the other members won't vote in a woman. It's not really a decision that you have control over IMO. It sucks that you get stuck in the middle tho. Good luck!

-Jagg

Seems these days NOT having a female in the band is a unique thing, at least here in Portland. By the way, what so wrong with a "Boys Club"? I think its nice to have some time off, shoot the *****, etc.

If it makes her uncomfortable, you keep it all guys? Marriage Relationship 101

My wife has actually taken more issue with some of the male musicians I've worked with...just basically over them being jerks and a-holes so forth. We haven't had any problems with female pickers/singers...they have all fortunately been friendly and nice and normal.

I played a gig at a strip club (Clermont Lounge in Atlanta) one time. This was before marriage. My wife would not be cool with that.