How do you quit a band...

How do you quit a band without causing any friction with anyone?

The problem is the lead singer. I have been with this group for the past 2 years, we've maybe played twice in the last 6 months. The lead singer keeps busy with another band while the rest of us basically just sit there. They're not interested in getting a different lead singer and want to stick by him. Meanwhile, I sit there growing more frustrated with the situation. It's not a question of money - I just want to play.

- Jagg

Call the leader (or if no leader-the members) and inform them that you are going to devote your time to another (band) project. If pressed for details, tell them that you'll share more of the details, later.

Tell them that you'll be happy to handle any gigs for them in the next several weeks, and let them know you'll be otherwise committed within a month, or so, schedule-wise.

Why not just join another band? You don't have to quit this one, if you only play once every 3 months. :-)

this is the Internet, where is the drama?

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u86/BluesForDan/miscellaneous/TsarBomb.jpg

Oh, wait, what? No friction? Uh ... never mind :oops:

Why not just join another band? You don't have to quit this one, if you only play once every 3 months. :-)

That sounds like the right plan to me. If you get in a group that plays more you have a good reason to leave the first group without hurt feelings.

Having some experience on this I'll chime in.
It's early and I may forget something but...

You simply say (with respect to time frame/gig commitments) "I am quitting this band".
Do not get wrapped up in the personal emotions or relationships that were developed as those are irrelevant on this issue.
Keep it academic...you don't have to say anything further than your goals are not being achieved in this band endeavor.
Respect your own feelings/assessments and move on.
I reiterate....rise above the emotional aspects and go on to another team endeavor.

That's my take on it....carry on.

You're playing every three months? You don't even need to quit, just go join another band.

Who is the band leader? If there isn't one, try telling them you're
gonna be it and if they don't like it they can leave.

If there already is one, give a two week notice regardless of how often
you gig out and tell them why.

Good luck!

With Style and Flair.

Go Out with a Blaze of Glory.

Either Date and then discard the singers Wife or Girlfriend.

Show up late to a Gig and play all the song's in the wrong key or out of tune.

A nice Overdose before a Big Breakout concert when all the Record label Executives will be present is alway's good for a dismissal.

Inform your Bandmates that you want to take the band into a New direction, maybe - Country and Jazz Fusion .

Treat it like any professional engagement. To the leader, or to the entire band (or as much of it as you have available), just tell them that you're leaving the band, and that you are giving them a specific amount of time notice. The specific amount of time should be enough to cover any gigs you have in the immediate future and to give them time to find a replacement. If there are no gigs for, say, the next three months, this won't be very important. I think in most cases a month (sometimes less, but not less than two weeks) should be enough notice.

You DO NOT owe them reasons for your leaving, explanations, discussions of your future plans, none of that. You do owe them professional and courteous treatment. You might not get professional and courteous treatment in return, but you're just gonna have to suck that up. If it gets ugly, let them be ugly and you stay out of that.

How do you quit a band without causing any friction with anyone?

You don't. Just be professional and courteous, that's the best you can do.

You're not the drummer I assume? The easiest/fastest way to get out of a band if you're a drummer is just tell the other guys "I wrote some originals and want the band to play them".. You'll be out of the band before you finish your sentence. :lol:

Seriously though it sounds like you should just start looking for another band and let the other stuff work itself out.

Bb

Just update your Facebook status: 'In between bands again."

join a second and third band... find the one that gets the most gigs, focus on it... when a conflict arises, you pick the band that gets the most gigs and go with it..

show business.. not show fun.

it is good to be friendly in business, but it is naive and foolish to assume friendship will see you through.. Everyone listens to radio station WIFM (whats in it for me) you need to listen in too...

I think you do it like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJAEu_0BqCQ&feature=player_embedded

Tell them you won't be available for a couple of weeks until the scabies clears up. I doubt they will call you back.

Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan
Don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free

Easy. I quit!

There's probably no reason to quit before you have another band lined up and rehearsing. An imperfect band is usually better than no band at all.

When you do quit, offer to play out any gigs for the next month or two - that is the professional thing to do. They shouldn't expect more than that.

Good luck.

You're playing every three months? You don't even need to quit, just go join another band.

Exactly. What is there to quit?

There's probably no reason to quit before you have another band lined up and rehearsing. An imperfect band is usually better than no band at all.

When you do quit, offer to play out any gigs for the next month or two - that is the professional thing to do. They shouldn't expect more than that.

Good luck.

+1

I quit my own band once to take a six-night-a-week gig playing lead with a band where I didn't have to do the booking, sing on every song, deal with club owners, furnish the P.A., move the equipment, etc..
Easy to quit.

I think you do it like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJAEu_0BqCQ&feature=player_embedded

oh man! I can't quit laughing! that lady screaming "you're a *%$#@ Tim!":lol:

You could do what I did. Get real sick and make them get a sub. Once they're happy with the sub, tell them that you aren't healthy enough to committ to two rehearsals a week and out of town gigs. Of course you actually have to be sick and that's not so much fun as hospitals and medical treatments suck, so this would be an extreme solution and perhaps not applicable to your situation.

Just tell them you quit, they will probably respond, "Are you sure? If you quit now all unsaved progress will be lost."

On a more serious note, I've found that a good combination of being frank with them and being gentle will not usually cause friction.

I never wanted to be in this stoopid band anyway! (flounces off stage)

Here`s 3 methods that I have used with varying degrees of success.

1 after the proverbial gig from hell, I walked into dressing room and said "youre all sacked" I`d only joined 4 months before :oops:

2 Sorry guys this is my last gig. so they sent other guitarist to my house next night to ask why. After saying its nothing to do with band I just need to do something new blah blah blah, I eventually told him "its your guitar playing" he said whats wrong with it and I replied [B]"2 things, Your lead playing and your Rhythm playing":twisted:[/B

3 I started another band one time, and just slowly did less work with other band and they asked me to leave.:lol:

Why not just join another band? You don't have to quit this one, if you only play once every 3 months. :-)

+1

Just tell them you quit, they will probably respond, "Are you sure? If you quit now all unsaved progress will be lost."

On a more serious note, I've found that a good combination of being frank with them and being gentle will not usually cause friction.

+1. This approach has always worked well for me, while remaining friendly with former band mates.

It's hard to tell from your age if this is your first rodeo. I'm 55 and I learned long ago that local bands come and go, and some even come back together. Right now I'm in a band led by a drummer who quit my band four years ago.

If it were me I would just start looking for additional playing opportunities. Don't lose what you have now because you think there is something better. Go find something better and then either do both, or move on.

Whatever you do stick to what you learned in kindergarten: Be considerate and honest (to a point, don't tell any of them they suck). Make sure they are covered for any upcoming gigs. If there are no gigs then it's "peace out".

join a second and third band... find the one that gets the most gigs, focus on it... when a conflict arises, you pick the band that gets the most gigs and go with it..

show business.. not show fun.

it is good to be friendly in business, but it is naive and foolish to assume friendship will see you through.. Everyone listens to radio station WIFM (whats in it for me) you need to listen in too...

HUGE +1
When I find myself in a band that seems to stall out (as far as gigs go) I join another group too. I'm spread a little thin; but so far I've done well prioritizing each group (the only band that kicked me out was the one that practiced the most and gigged the least-- no hard feelings on either side)

Whatever you do: Don't burn any bridges

If I like the people, I "white lie" a little and make up
a plausible excuse.
If I don't I say, "Y'all need to get someone else."
If they ask why, I tell em'.
They rarely ask, I find.
Playing music with others is my greatest joy, and I try to keep it that way.

I am not in a band but... it doesn't seem to be much of a band if you guys are sitting around waiting for the lead singer to deign to show up and sing. Go find another band or convince the other guys to get a new lead singer, one who wants to sing with your band.

I was going to say if your only playing once every three months go find another band to run with and cross that bridge when a conflict arises. If the rest are fine with playing so little and your not there should be no conflict. There are thousands of us looking to play more and probably an equal number looking to play less. You have to steer your own path my friend.

Is the problem that ya'll can't book any gigs because the lead singer is unavailable due to his otherwise busy schedule? My approach is "the show must go on". In this case I mean book the gigs regardless and either distribute the lead singing among whichever band members can make the gig (and can sing), bring in a sub singer for the gig, borrow another band's singer, etc. I understand this may not be realistic for every situation, but it works well in your basic barroom cover band.

You say, " I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee" then you throw dog poop on their shoes.

Although it "feels" like you are in a band, playing every 3 months is not quite the worlds record for gigs !

I agree with the above, just go out and start networking and practicing with other players...open mics etc...be proactive, get out in front of others and mingle...you don't need to quit anything as there is really not much to quit other than rehearsals and social time I am guessing...

Just go out and find some more people to play with and practice with...worry about the gig in 3 months..should there be one...

Sounds to me like you are the only one, other than the singer, that is proactive...

you don't sing at all ? Harmony ?..anything ?

Yep, pursue side projects. I sometimes doubt whether I'll ever again be "in a band" - other than for my duo, but there's only one guy to hate there (tongue-in-cheek). That said, I do a ton of sideman work. Two shows on electric guitar with a "jam band" over the last week, and then Friday I'm backing up an old school country singer/songwriter on acoustic guitar, mandolin, and a couple of lap steels. Because folks know that my duo works all but about 5-6 Saturdays a year, I'm rarely asked to "join the band". Still get lots of other work for open dates though. I dig the arrangement for a couple of reasons: I'm guaranteed to make at least a hundred bucks on primetime Saturday nights; I can still enjoy working with a diverse array of musicians and styles without the drama and politics.

Quitting a band on the spot without serving notice (other than for truly unusual or heinous circumstances) = burning a bridge. In the corporate/payroll world, I always served two weeks notice. It can be more difficult to replace someone in a musical situation, so I've always offered to honor all booked shows for a month or until they replaced me, whichever came first. Important: no "short timer" attitude when playing the jobs that fall within a serving of notice. I did quit a band on the spot once. This was in the 80s; I was young and I'm far less hot-headed now that I'm a journeyman old fart. At the time I felt (and still do) that my reasons were solid. In retrospect however, I regret that decision. The proper thing to do would've been to remove all emotion from the equation, serve notice, and act like a pro.

With Style and Flair.

Go Out with a Blaze of Glory.

Either Date and then discard the singers Wife or Girlfriend.

Show up late to a Gig and play all the song's in the wrong key or out of tune.

A nice Overdose before a Big Breakout concert when all the Record label Executives will be present is alway's good for a dismissal.

Inform your Bandmates that you want to take the band into a New direction, maybe - Country and Jazz Fusion .

^this^!

In reality though, just quit. Like a ripping off a bandaid. If they are real friends, the "band" should be considered as second to the friendship, imho. "friends" I've lost from leaving bands turned out to not really matter in retrospect, friends I've kept are all that matter :smile:

by the way, if you do go out and jam with another player or two and the BAND wants to have a rehearsal at the same time , just tell them you are busy...there is nothing wrong with saying you got an invitation to jam with a few people...it's a jam, not a marriage.....obviously try to maintain the friendship, tell them you can practice another night ( or day)

Sometimes not answering the phone is all that is necessary, I have a couple contacts in my cell phone under "Don't Answer". If you see them later just tell em your phone is jacked up and you had to get a new number.

Keep it short and to the point just like the player trading in Moneyball.

My last band quit went like this:

"I have another opportunity that is better suited for me so I'm out."

This is how i quit:

I told them all possible reasons for playing music in a band:

Money, fame, fun, girls . .

Then i told them what i did get out of the band:

:-(

That's it.

Find a band that is gigging and then tell your old band, "I found a band that plays a lot of gigs, so see ya!". No drama, no secrets, just the facts. Best of luck to you!!

As often as you say you play you're not really quitting a band. Bands gig, dig?

You say, " I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee" then you throw dog poop on their shoes.

That made me snort

Definitely don't bother quitting until you are hooked up with another musical situation. You never know, the next band could suck worse(meaning be more trouble than this band-I'm not implying your present band sucks, just the situation). Let them know once you are sure there is some chemistry going on with your next venture, but do be professional and give them ample notice.

Or, if you're totally done with this band. While you guys are playing, grab the singers mic from him and shove it down the back of your pants and itch your butthole with it, then hand it back to him smiling. That should get the desired effect.

***** UPDATE *****
The problem solved itself as the lead singer completely abandonned us...sooo...I am now officially a free agent. Anyone looking for a lead guitar player in Atlantic Canada? Let me know. :lol:

-Jagg

***** UPDATE *****
The problem solved itself as the lead singer completely abandonned us...sooo...I am now officially a free agent. Anyone looking for a lead guitar player in Atlantic Canada? Let me know. :lol:

-Jagg

Ah that kinda sucks. Good luck finding another band! Keep pickin \m/