A moment to vent

I'm not going to go into details just in case some how someone were to stumble across this. Besides, the details aren't important.

We just had a great night honoring some people who will be leaving our ministry soon. Everyone had a great night. People laughed... people cried... it was a great night. My associate and I have been working on this night for over a month now. I actually told my wife I think this is the best one of these we've ever had (we have one each year). I was ready to go to bed absolutely excited and exhausted.

THEN I CHECKED MY EMAIL. Why did I check my email?

I was greeted with an email telling me how upset this person was because something wasn't done the way they wanted it done. Keep in mind this was not one of the ones being honored.

Now I'm going to bed with a bit of "nervous frustration" knowing I have to deal with this. Everything in me wants to write back now to try and explain why things were done the way they were... to defend my actions... and show them that what they wanted was a little unreasonable. But I have a feeling no matter how humbly I write, it won't come across that way to someone who is already upset.

I pray people would strive to be like Barnabas. It sure would make ministry more rewarding when you put your heart into something.

Anyway, I just needed to vent. Go on with your regularly scheduled program.

If this person has the authority to force you to comply, I guess you'll have to do the defensive explaining thing. If not, just express gratitude for the comments or ignore them entirely. The evening was a great success, why defend it?

One of the most useful tools on the email thingy is the delete button.

If this person has the authority to force you to comply, I guess you'll have to do the defensive explaining thing. If not, just express gratitude for the comments or ignore them entirely. The evening was a great success, why defend it?

Good answer. Emails like that I always reply to very politely and very briefly. Something along the lines of "thank you for you feedback which I have noted. It is always helpful to hear different perspectives on our events and I will take your thoughts into consideration for the future"

You've not agreed, you've made them feel listened to, and you've not wasted more than 30 seconds.

Who is "this person?" who sent you the email? The minister? A ministry director?
If it was someone sharing the responsibility for the event with you, that's one thing. Otherwise I would probably ignore it.

"Thank you for your suggestion. As you know, a lot of work and planning goes into events like this and we are always short handed. We would welcome you to join us and make our next event even better! Bless you and yours"

send that. It's a very nice way to say "put up or shut up"

I would have written this post 10 years ago. But since then I've learned that there are bound to be people who are unhappy about something. It's cliche, but also true. Not that you should ignore complaints, but one person complaining rarely constitutes need for action. As above, thank them for the feedback and let them know you take all feedback into consideration - positive and negative.

Ignore.

I'm with the rest suggesting that you employ the round file.

I guess all that matters is whether that person has authority over you, otherwise, hit that trash can button

To" Round file" is extremely unprofessional
and in many cases a non reply only serves to inflame the situation.
There are several good examples of polite non confrontational
replies given here. I would choose one and use it often.

"Would Jesus gripe because you did "A" instead of "B"? Or maybe should we focus on the poor, etc....?"

Wait 36 hours. reply to them that you are so sorry that they are disappointed and that that brings you some sadness as your intention and the intentions of the organizers was to bring happiness and goodwill to all and that, clearly that was not accomplished. Then ask him/her to please forgive you and that you hope he accepts your heartfelt apology for disappointing them.

And that is it. No need to defend an action that merely disappointed a couple of people... not all things will work for all people...

You did your best... forgive those trespasses!

delete it

One of the most useful tools on the email thingy is the delete button.

Ditto! ;-)

You're tired. Sleep. wake, run your errands, talk with significant other. Pray, write notes on paper. Share with significant other. Write response. Keep it short.

a phone call or a visit in person is usually in better order, but nonetheless. let it go and move on. but dont ignore the person when you see them next, that would make things weird. be cool, i had issues with fellow teen worker that he wouldnt talk to me about it, he rather would hide behing facebook messages....its not worth the turmoil. remember you are playing for the glory of God not the glory of man....

Not saying either party is correct, but never ignore complaints. It gives them more ammo against you. If you ignore it they have reason to go up the ladder. Having been on both sides of complaints, I can say the following tidbits are absolute in building reparte with those following you. It really doesn't matter if they are above or below you on the food chain. "No one is any better or more important than anyone else," to quote a former pastor.

A few truths of humble leadership from Pastor Phil Ling (twitter @Phil_Ling)

"the first reaction to hate mail should be asking if it contains any truth. Just because they are mean doesn't mean they are wrong."

"You are not always right as a leader just because people don't publicly disagree."

"Leaders that don't listen to opposing views fear being convinced they are wrong."

"Your team will not out perform you as a leader for long before they find a new leader to follow."

One thing I learned a long time ago is that I do what I do for God. I ain't letting the enemy come between myself and my blessing, salvation, happiness, etc. Complaints will always exist. Good suggestions here except I wouldn't ignore the situation.

As one who has been in ministry since 1987, Respond that you and the person meet in person and discuss the misunderstanding. Seek to set up and face-to-face meeting. I've learned that digital communication cannot and will not communicate effectively in this type of situation. The devil knows that as well and uses the sterility of email to keep this and other such situations in the "festering" mode. You both need to demonstrate love "which thinks the best of the other person". You both deserve the platform to "be heard" with the Biblical goal "to understand" the other person.

Revman

One other thing, with the attitude and actions of striving for peace and unity in the body of Christ, THAT IS WORSHIP. You are worshipping the Lord at a very high level by being obedient to HIS WORD, especially that of unity in the body of Christ.

Wow, some of you are really nice. :shock:

If this person is a regular complainer then throw this recent critiquing on the pile. Some folks have a complaining spirit. All of the wisdom and logic in the world (or in heaven) will not straighten them out.
How many Old Testament Prophets had to deal with endless complaints: All of them. So I understand if you call down fire or send out 2 Mother Bears to eat this person.

Some people just love to complain. I have a rule in life: "Don't complain about things you can't fix."

I did a gig last week for the local Soup Kitchen. Some of these people sure can complain about free food and music. One lady said the music was TOO LOUD! I pointed out to her that she was sitting 3 feet away from the P.A. speaker (that was aimed at her head). It was a large room. But she refused to move. Oh Well. :roll: