Band is breaking up.

Been some rumblings over the last couple days but tonight we made it official, our band is breaking up. This really sucks, in more ways than one, especially as we are all friends, but at least it's an amiable break up. No fireworks or drama, just the empty, gaping hole where a band used to be. We have one final gig next month, and then that's it.

This hits me really hard. I'm nearly 50 and I've known since this outfit started this would be my last chance to play the kind of music I love, classic rock and alternative stuff. I'm not a great guitar player, so it's not like I can step into another band, especially given the area I live in. There are a ton of better players than me around here so I'm not kidding myself that I'll find something else. I'm sure in time I could get work playing bass again, but I really don't want to, and I could probably even wrangle a spot in a country band, but I just don't like C&W. Better to retire altogether than find myself playing music I hate.

I have no intention of becoming a 'bedroom player.' If I can't play for real I don't want to play at all. Better to sell or give away my gear than go that route. I suppose I'll keep my favorite guitars and maybe one amp just in case, but no sense keeping the rest around as a reminder that I used to do this. Oh well, it's not like we were getting that much playing anyhow, but I sure am going to miss it.

I played my first gig when I was 17. Looks like I'll play my last one when I'm 49. Somehow, it still seems too short a time by far. Just goes to show you, play every gig like it's your last one, as you just never know.

Thanks for letting me bitch.

Justin

last band I was in that exploded, I felt mostly relieved. Your strory makes it sad

Hey Justin,
I understand how you must feel, but think this through before hanging up your gear! It's understandable that you feel like this right now, but take the time to calm down and wait before parting with your stuff.
Try to find an alternative, consider going solo , whatever, but don't give up on your music !
Hang in there !
Good luck !
Chris

I am not the same age, but I know the feeling. I played with a group for a while that decided to call it quits. I am not a strong enough player to find another band and sometimes can't find the motivation to practice and play a lot. That being said, there are other people out there that feel like you do. Make an effort to find them locally and keep it going.

People are hiding in way more places than you think. You just gotta get creative to find 'em.

Cheer up man. It's a blessing to get to play and share and enjoy. Many do not have the opportunity. Just keep your head up and other opportunities will arise

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQlG07bOQUE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

If you give away your gear... How you gonna get better? To get into a band playing the music you love? You just need to keep believing that you can start a band or even join one if you keep your gear. You CAN get better. Believe me. Now is not a time to let your loved one go. You can do that when your dead, im sure music will still be aroumd then.

1) Open mics.
2) Start your own jams.
3) New bands often rise from the ashes of old bands.
4) Take some lessons to improve your weak areas.
5) There are lots of guys like you, advertise/network to find them.
6) Add a new skill set with some lessons and/or woodshedding, like vocals, bass, etc.
7) Take a break to assess your situation over time rather than acting rashly.

Good luck!

I feel your pain Justin! But as they say (I don't know who!:lol:), as one door closes another opens. At least you were giging the last band I was in imploded before we even got to gig!
Keep your chin up mate!

Don't give your stuff away and never say never. My band started gigging again this year after 15 years off. You can scale back if you want, but playing for your own pleasure (and your friends' pleasure) is okay too. Don't give up on a skill you've worked so long to attain.

WOW!

I never knew playing music had an age limit. Or, a skill level minimum.

It's all news to me.

Don't look down on "Bedroom" players.... in between bands over the years, sometimes for several years, I was able to go in different directions with my music as a bedroom player. I was always a "Classic Rock" kind of guy cause it was music I grew up with and in all honesty, it was easy to playing backing acoustic guitar in a band. After my last classic rock band broke up years ago I took several years to work on fingerstyle acoustic stuff. I got really proficient at fingerstyle playing and then started getting into electric guitars a few years ago learning some lead and getting into blues even more.

At 50 years old my desire to play in a band is still there to some degree, but I am happy knowing that even without a band, there is still much for me to learn and get better at.

I completely understand ... I'm 45 and not a very good player either and finally after years and years of biding my time and waiting to meet the right people I'm in a band that puts up with my talent shortcomings. There are a thousand better players than me in my area, with much better gear so if this band breaks up I'd be in the same spot as you.

My advice (as it's what I plan to do when my band mates finally wise up and get someone better) is to keep my favorite gear, keep practicing for fun and keep looking for other players in my skill level (or better ones I can dupe again... heh). Also, I'm not sure of your situation but if there's one other member of your old band you could pair up with - at least to play for fun - do so and maybe the two of you can be the foundation for a reincarnation of your old band. Good luck!!!

-DJ

Just find a bunch of players who would like to get together on a Saturday afternoon. There are always people who are willing to play for fun.

Just because you are not getting paid doesn't mean you can't still have fun playing. In some ways it's more fun than an actual gig because you don't get people coming up and requesting you to play "something they can dance to." On Saturday afternoons you can play whatever you want.

I am 51 and I don't think I will look too hard for another band if the one I'm in now folds. But I will always jam. It's fun. No pressure.

Thanks you guys.
I imagine I'll keep at least my strat and Tele. They were both gifts and it would be wrong to give them away. Probably keep my Super Reverb, too. to be honest, I've had it so long it wold feel like selling my dog! <G>

There are jams around, but it's all country stuff. I sit in now and then and it's okay, but it's not the same. The music I love is rock and blues, and in a town of less than 200 people in the outskirts of Montana, you'll probably guess there aren't a lot of outlets for 50 year old blues wannabees. <G>

I sit and tell myself now's a good time to woodshed, work on my playing and maybe do some songwriting, but it all comes down to the same. If I don't have a reason to push myself I don't.

Oh well, it is what it is.

Justin

There are a ton of better players than me around here so I'm not kidding myself that I'll find something else.

in a town of less than 200 people in the outskirts of Montana, you'll probably guess there aren't a lot of outlets for 50 year old blues wannabees.


If there are a "ton" of better players in a town of less than 200 people, either you are the worst player in town or there are also a lot of players at the same level, even though there aren't a lot of venues.
I used Craigslist to find musicians to put together my own band. I am, by far, the least skilled member of my band, but I do all the organization and make sure that things are running smoothly, and the other guys really appreciate being in a band with fun people who all get along.
Use whatever is available to you, and pull together some other people to form your own band. Don't worry about your skill level. Just be a good guy to be around, be organized and positive, and make it about having fun while playing with good people. "If you build it, they will come."

If there are a "ton" of better player in a town of less than 200 people, either you are the worst player in town or there are also a lot of players at the same level, even though there aren't a lot of venues.


:lol:

Yeah, I guess that's true! If I just included the town I live in, me and the lead guitarist from the current band are at the top of the local food-chain. In typical rural fashion, 'around here' usually means within driving distance, so the closest large town is Butte, with about 15000 people. Lots of bands there, but like I say, lots of good players, too.

FWIW, I've played bass with a lot of the area guys and been in bands with them, but I don't want to go back to bass unless economics force my hand. When the price is right, I can be a music slut! :razz:

Make guitars... Thats a hobby worth doing and will get you some quedos.

Don't give up Justin!
Try laying low for a while. Work out/ on some tough rock classics, like some one else said practice singing and playing.
I started trying to play piano songs on guitar....a bit of a stretch but good practice.
You need to keep this form of expression open and functioning to be happy.... Well I do anyway....

Justin, I could have written your initial post. I've just gone through exactly the same thing. Our band was good, we had a lot of fun playing, but it ground to a halt, primarily due to the different levels of commitment. (And, yes, it does leave a big hole in your life.) I've found that finding other players that share your genre interest (I'm mostly a blues guy), commitment level, etc. is not all that easy. But I'm gonna keep trying. I'll turn 61 in a few days; if I don't do this now, I'll never do it.

Check Bandmix.com...you might find something/someone there. All the other suggestions here (especially Mike Bruce's) are right on the money. I wish I lived closer... I'd drive out and jam with you!

Best of luck, fella...and don't give up. Your love of music and your talent are truly a gift from God...please don't waste them!

My situation is similar...ish. My current trio is just winding down. No fireworks or animosity, the bass/player singer is emigrating and though there are a couple of people we could recruit to fill the gap it just feels like it's time to take a break. I've been playing in bands pretty much solidly for 30+ years and it feels odd to have no gigs in the diary. Did a dep gig weekend before last and I'm sure there will be a few more of those and sometime in the future the current drummer and I will sit down and maybe come up with a new plan. But in the meantime I'm enjoying the space to learn some stuff just for me - trying to improve my fingerpicking and solo guitar playing which I've neglected for too long. It's nice to have that space.

Derek

Put an ad on Craigs List

You didn't really list who in the band does what, and often just as important who has what (practice space, PA). Is everyone stopping playing or are a couple of you willing to start again?

Can you take the inititive to start a new band? You arrange the space, get a practice PA, start building one player at a time? This is all a lot of hard work and what I would be faced with if our other guitarist called it quits (he has the space). If I wanted to go on I'd have to step up and make it happen and I hope that never happens.

Every band has a driver and if you are losing yours but really want to have a band you may just have to go for it. No one will appreciate your effort but you will have a band.

do what I do...set up a home recording studio....and record original tunes, can be very satisfying.

why did the band break up ?
Is there anyone left from the pieces that still wants to play out?

Good suggestions, all. Thanks!
Actually, the lead guitarist, who is leaving, and I formed this band from the ashes of another band we were in together. Our bass player I met here, via the TDPRI. He saw me posting that we needed a bassist and it turns out he only lives 70 miles away. (70 miles by Montana standards is a hop) Things just clicked form the first rehearsal. But, a band eats up a lot of time and money, no doubt, and coupled with anongoing problem keeping drummers -we've had bad luck from the start in that department - I can see why our guitaris is wanting out.

And we're all remaining friends, which is the good news. And we don't have a lot of gear to split up or finish paying for, whcih also makes it nice. But, it still bites when a good band calls it a day.

I'm pretty sure I could get work again someday as a bass player, since I did that for 25 years and I'm a decent hand with a four string. But I hated it so much, playing country music on the bass, that I just don't want to go back to it if I can avoid it. And while I can find people around who would jam, if the music isn't bringing any money back in it just becomes an expensive hobby, and that brings up its own set of problems, especially from the spousal side of life. <G>

Justin

Don't give man!...im 60 and played ina 6 pc band for 12 years then left for basic band reasons...started a trio...we use backing tracks (i know kkaraoke pple say but its not really).......now im gearing up for solo cause i will be retiring soon and moving after we sell the house....gotta play music dude! Hang in there dont do sumptin yalll regret::wink
cheers

Been some rumblings over the last couple days but tonight we made it official, our band is breaking up. This really sucks, in more ways than one, especially as we are all friends, but at least it's an amiable break up. No fireworks or drama, just the empty, gaping hole where a band used to be. We have one final gig next month, and then that's it.

This hits me really hard. I'm nearly 50 and I've known since this outfit started this would be my last chance to play the kind of music I love, classic rock and alternative stuff. I'm not a great guitar player, so it's not like I can step into another band, especially given the area I live in. There are a ton of better players than me around here so I'm not kidding myself that I'll find something else. I'm sure in time I could get work playing bass again, but I really don't want to, and I could probably even wrangle a spot in a country band, but I just don't like C&W. Better to retire altogether than find myself playing music I hate.

I have no intention of becoming a 'bedroom player.' If I can't play for real I don't want to play at all. Better to sell or give away my gear than go that route. I suppose I'll keep my favorite guitars and maybe one amp just in case, but no sense keeping the rest around as a reminder that I used to do this. Oh well, it's not like we were getting that much playing anyhow, but I sure am going to miss it.

I played my first gig when I was 17. Looks like I'll play my last one when I'm 49. Somehow, it still seems too short a time by far. Just goes to show you, play every gig like it's your last one, as you just never know.

Thanks for letting me bitch.

Justin

TOGA PARTY!!!

This hits me really hard. I'm nearly 50 and I've known since this outfit started this would be my last chance to play the kind of music I love, classic rock and alternative stuff. I'm not a great guitar player, so it's not like I can step into another band, especially given the area I live in. There are a ton of better players than me around here so I'm not kidding myself that I'll find something else. Justin

Well, you are in a semi-isolated area. The good news is you'll find something but it might 100 miles away. It's not about being the best player. It's about being the player everyone wants to play with. Since this sounds like a hobby just have fun with it. Invite them to fish your pond. YOU flip the burgers. Sounds like you're a good guy. You may wind up being the "other guitar player" but the important part in that phrase is "guitar player". The main thing is get out and meet people and you'll find something. Don't give up. People you like and like you will find a place for you.

The 50's are the new 30's so you've still got plenty of time until your 60's which are the new 40's where it gets really fun. Being a musician is like being a drug addict - you can't just turn it on and off, it's stupid expensive, feels so good when it's on, and hurts like a mother sometimes. Don't give up, don't sell your gear, just play and things will come your way.

Don't look down on "Bedroom" players.... in between bands over the years, sometimes for several years, I was able to go in different directions with my music as a bedroom player. I was always a "Classic Rock" kind of guy cause it was music I grew up with and in all honesty, it was easy to playing backing acoustic guitar in a band. After my last classic rock band broke up years ago I took several years to work on fingerstyle acoustic stuff. I got really proficient at fingerstyle playing and then started getting into electric guitars a few years ago learning some lead and getting into blues even more.

At 50 years old my desire to play in a band is still there to some degree, but I am happy knowing that even without a band, there is still much for me to learn and get better at.

What the man said.

Use the break to improve and pop out the other side a better player,you've years left to play at 49.

due to band frustration, i've generally held off until i've ran into people who i really click with who have similar goals, and i'm a lot happier for it.

Never give up. Never....that is unless you want to. I'm 43 and a mediocre player, yet I always seem to be able to round up some guys to play. Get yourself out to see some other local bands and make friends with the players. To me thats the best way to network. Somebody always knows somebody who's looking for somebody.... Also...you never who else in your old band secretly wants to carry on too.

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

I'm 46, err I mean 36, and kick @ss. Ok, maybe I'm bragging a little but I have become accustomed to short term music situations. For whatever reason they just don't seem to last. I would like to be part of a long term stable music situation but I'm just not convinced that such a thing exists. People get the itch and move on. No big deal. I keep playing, new people, new situations. Don't get bummed out. Find something else. A new challenge. And bring some new tunes with you. New band, new people, new tunes, new sound, have fun!

Time to go solo!

There's more gigs out there for smaller acts anyway.

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

Did the French give up when the Germans crossed the Maginot Line? Hell no! Ok well maybe they did sorta... but just a little!

See! We're all out there! Work and family commitments will always pop up, so keep playing and looking out for others, playing alone can sometimes just make you repeat your mistakes, lol!

Thanks for the encouragement, everybody!

We're haying right now, which means I sit on a tractor 12 hours a day in the hot sun, and my mind tends to wander. In one of these sun-baked fugues I thought about putting an ad on Craigslist and some of the musicians boards around here looking for people to form a blues band. It would be fun and I have a pretty good idea I could find people interested in playing. The only downside is that, in this area, it would mean never playing anywhere!

But I still might give it a shot. No one ever accused me of sanity!

Justin

Didn't get to read the whole thread, so forgive me if this has been mentioned...

But one thing you can ALWAYS do when you can't find the spot you want in somebody else's band- Start your own band. It's worked for me more times than I can remember.

I kind of went through a similar situation where everyone in the band was ready to call it quits. Then we realized it was really the bass player who had started to lose interest and was making it a drag for everyone else. So the rest of us just let him drift away, we picked up the pieces, went into the studio and did some recording. I did the bass and guitar in the studio (it was fun to be playing some bass again) and it was suddenly fresh again and everyone was having a good time.

We still need to find a new bass player though.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

The band I was in for 4 years has pretty much hung it up. We did make a CD this summer cause we all wanted some kind of a record of the stuff we did . That was a lot of fun and it turned out real good. Although we have hung it up I have no doubt that we will end up doing a gig every once in a while. We are all good friends but all have other life things going on that makes regular giging hard to do.
I don't mind the time off I, play every day just trying to improve my skills and enjoying music.
I picked up a VOX 3watt battery powered amp this summer and I'll sit in the living room, plug in the Tele, the headphones, and the Ipod and play along while watching the baseball game.
Don't ever give it up, a lot of people buy guitars but few stick it out. You have done that along with playing in a band, so you got to live the dream for a while.
I'm not a great player but I get a lot of AH Ha moments by just playing by myself. Jam once in a while if you get a chance but just keep playin!

The band I was in for 4 years has pretty much hung it up. We did make a CD this summer cause we all wanted some kind of a record of the stuff we did . That was a lot of fun and it turned out real good. Although we have hung it up I have no doubt that we will end up doing a gig every once in a while. We are all good friends but all have other life things going on that makes regular giging hard to do.
I don't mind the time off I, play every day just trying to improve my skills and enjoying music.
I picked up a VOX 3watt battery powered amp this summer and I'll sit in the living room, plug in the Tele, the headphones, and the Ipod and play along while watching the baseball game.
Don't ever give it up, a lot of people buy guitars but few stick it out. You have done that along with playing in a band, so you got to live the dream for a while.
I'm not a great player but I get a lot of AH Ha moments by just playing by myself. Jam once in a while if you get a chance but just keep playin!

And that's my problem in a nutshell. I'm a goal oriented person. The next gig is the one I'll push myself for, or learn new songs for, etc. When I don't have a reason to push my boundaries I find it really hard to justify practicing when I have so many other things I _should_ be doing, and before long the guitar just sits in its case and gathers dust.

Just found out today the bass player already started lining up another band. Now I really feel down about the whole thing! :lol:

woodshedding. the key to landing your next gig is to polish and grow... it will also relight the fire of 'new'.

that, and recording and writing... rechannel that energy while you wait.

It may not be a bad idea to trim down your gear, get some extra dough, and just re-evaluate what you want of this music thing, but quitting is a ridiculous option. Sometimes I lose track of the basics... like right now I'm about to buy another new amp and possibly another Tele. When it comes down to it, when I started gigging, I had a crappy amp and one guitar, which happened to be a Tele that I couldn't play for crap. Maybe this is a good time for you to skin back your situation and get to to the raw truth of EXACTLY what you want to play and write. You seem to have come to grips with your scenario, but don't be "depressed guy"... use it to fire you up. Get basic and figure out what to do next. Stop making excuses and MAN UP... even if you gotta fake it 'til you make! You wanna play music? You feel it in your soul? If so, then you're only kidding yourself if you think this is the end.

In my extremely humble and younger than you opinion, I think you should:

1. See who else in the band still wants to play... then decide if you want to play with them

2. Practice whatever it is that makes you think there are tons of better players than you in your neck of the woods

3. Try putting how you feel into emotion and then form chord progressions around it.... and then maybe sing how you feel under your breath... even if it doesn't rhyme... and don't forget the back beat. WRITE!

4. Don't quit. It's not very becoming of you. ; )

woodshedding. the key to landing your next gig is to polish and grow... it will also relight the fire of 'new'.

A week ago the other guitarist and practice space host in our band of five years called to say he's done, that he wants to do other things than be in a band. Even thought he's been talking about it for a couple months I was still gutted. When I called our female singer she said her job stress, finances, home mortgage situation are weighing her down so doesn't want to keep going.

I can host at my house but the drummer doesn't want to move his kit weekly and I can't store it here. The bass player is in another band so he can take or leave it. And there ya go, after five years one phone call blows the whole thing apart.

But.... I decided to get busy, really start working on my playing, and I'm feeling very refreshed, excited to just be playing guitar for me. By building my skills and self confidence I know I will be able to form another band. I guess you could say I've gone from a victim state of mind to taking control of my situation and going after what I want.

Thanks for the good advice, everybody. And it is good advice, I realize. I imagine I will keep working on my playing. Hell, I've even been working on chicken pickin' because, unfortunately, country music is what goes most around this area.

I think what has me feeling so bad about this band folding is that the lead guitarist and I put it together with the full intention of playing music we liked instead of sitting in the back doing covers of songs we didn't like. Hard to think I won't get to do those songs again.

Thanks again for the advice you guys.

Justin