I wish I could play in front of people! :(

There's an open mic the first Friday of the month at the local grange, and my G.F. has been challenging me to play. I should have known better. I've never been able to perform solo in front of people. I always tense up and lose focus. I thought maybe I could psych myself up this time, be confident and just let the music flow as if I was playing all alone. Wrong. I stunk the place up pretty bad. I wonder if I have attention deficit disorder or something... I lose focus so easy. Could medication be the answer?

Just sounds like nerves to me.

But I have no way of relating to where you are at your age, I started playing in front of people in my teens.

BTW - after a look at your videos, playing ability is definitely not the problem! :cool:

If you can play and sing a song okay when you're alone, it isn't an ADD issue.

My suggestion is to desensitize yourself by playing first to just your girlfriend, then perhaps her and another friend, and then a few more folks. I found that any stage fright I had tended to go away with repetition. Do that a few times and work on keeping your focus on the microphone in front of you rather than the people on the other side of the mic, and I suspect you'll be just fine!

Tim

Yes... ability is NO issue here. I'm dead serious here... do some busking. Just go sit on corner or a park bench and play. Or a coffee shop... go someplace where the focus is not entirely on you... that will get get you past the "nerves thing". Any coffee shop with half a brain would slip you free java and be GLAD to have you play.

Maybe start going to a local jam session? Learn the Rhythm parts to 2 or 3 of the more commonly played tunes there, and then go back again, and ask if you can "back someone up" when they play. Get used to being onstage, just not in the center of all of the attention. This can help you to ease into it all.

I'm sure you've practiced your guitar plenty...but have you practiced playing in front of others? Sounds like not. Why expect to be good at that if you haven't practiced that?

Get some friends to listen to you play. Have one of them introduce you. Pretend it's an actual gig, say hi, give 'em a tune and a joke, and another tune. You're gonna be as tense as you were the first time you took your driving test, so PLAN FOR IT.

Think it through: of all the things that are NOT rocket science, playing music and singing are as old as humanity, and as universal as death. Doctorate not required.

Breathe. Stretch, scratch, breathe, play, smile, sing, breathe, stretch, smile. Practice *these* things. Pick 5 songs to perform beforehand, and practice remembering which they are. Then, invite THOSE SAME FRIENDS to your next open-mic. You've practiced playing for them, so just expand the meaning of "them".

First time I played in front of a bunch o' folks, I was so nervous my hands and my voice and my knees all shook like crazy...but I powered through, figuring that the crowd wanted me to be good. I made it. You will too, if you just do it.

Oh, and BREATHE.

Have you thought of offering lessons?

After having many sessions with single and small groups of students in a positive, relaxed, structured setting where you're largely 'in control', it may change your mindset and any other issues with playing in front of larger groups.

Plus, you'll even get paid for it,...if you choose to.

Don't let it get you down. It was your first attempt, right? Don't let self-consciousness prevent you from going again and again. I promise it gets easier once you get over the initial idea that people are judging you. You just be upfront and say, this is my second time ever so I may make a few mistakes, and you will be amazed at how encouraging most audiences will be. They want you to see you do well. Everyone screws up sometimes, even really big stars, so go knowing it could be bad again, and that is okay. It is an open mic so no one will be expecting their money back for the show.

Good luck.

While working at a local amusement park I was once asked to perform a song that I had written just before LeAnn Womack was to perform. I did the song and had no problem. I had to leave immediately afterwards because I was due at a church to perform. There were 14,000 people in attendance at the amusement park. I pulled it off with no problems and was never nervous - well, maybe a little when LeAnn told me to "Go knock 'em dead". I got to the church and performed before a group of folks that I could count on my fingers. Less than 10. My knees shook the entire time.

It's nerves guy. Stop thinking so much. Forget the people are there and just sing. When in front of a group I pick out the one soul that looks like they are enjoying themselves the most and sing to them. I forget that everyone else is there. It works!

Damn, I wish I could play like YOU.

I was in a warm-up band for a very famous singer/songwriter. One of my heroes.
He was getting ready to go on while we were tearing our gear out of the way.
I walked up to him and said something to the effect "this must be like falling off a bike for you". There was at least 10K people in the arena. He just looked at me and smiled,
He stuck out his hand to shake mine and his hand was sweating. He looked at me and said "it never gets easy".

There isn't a player on the planet that doesn't experience nerves, and those who say they don't are just lying.
Standing and either performing or speaking in front of a crowd is one of the top anxiety producing behaviors.
But everyone has nailed it, especially Tim. You just need to get some exposure to the whole performance thing. Then you'll soon begin to replace thoughts about the crowd and begin thinking about what you are playing.

I listened to your Youtube channel and you are very good. Don't be afraid to do it again. People will definitely benefit from hearing you play.

Could medication be the answer?

Possibly, as temporary solution. Busking is a great idea. No medication is better than medication. Try the other advice you get here. However, if out continues to be a problem, you might talk to your doctor about a mild beta blocker or anti anxiety medication. I have on occasion had to take small dose of ativan to make it through an especially emotional situation such as playing a funeral for a 7 year old girl. Its definitely not a long term solution. You also might try a mild homeopathic calming aid although I should approach rhode with caution as well.

OP is not just good, he's terrific. Very smooth and keeps a steady bass.

Its possible that when busking you can get lazy and lose focus. It almost becomes like practice. If it were me, I would just forget open mics and send out your youtube clips to coffee shops and play a 1 or 2 hour set for free (coffee). That way you have time to get in the groove. Open mics can be stressful because its kind of a competition, and you only get 1 or 2 songs to show your stuff.

Since you aren't charging money, in the unlikely case that you do "stink it up", it will be a learning experience. Then start making money of your wicked guitar skills :)

It gets easier the more you do it. Instead of playing alone, play with other people. Get together with a group of people who jam informally every week. Public performance and group playing are skills that we need to work on, just like the other skills we need as a musician.

There's an open mic the first Friday of the month at the local grange, and my G.F. has been challenging me to play. I should have known better. I've never been able to perform solo in front of people. I always tense up and lose focus. I thought maybe I could psych myself up this time, be confident and just let the music flow as if I was playing all alone. Wrong. I stunk the place up pretty bad. I wonder if I have attention deficit disorder or something... I lose focus so easy. Could medication be the answer?

If by medication you mean bourbon, yes.

Actually, there are certain type of beta blockers that work to calm nerves. I have to take them for my blood pressure and hand tremors. When I have to give a presentation(for a grade) I pop a few extra to calm the nerves. I don't mind public speaking or singing/playing for folks, but when you have to do it for a grade, my calm collectiveness goes to hell.

Let me tell you about the first time I played in front of others. It was a campus open mic, and one of my songs was "Friend of the Devil", and as soon as I started, I could not recall a single word.

I had the fear. It was bad. But nobody threw anything. Looking and feeling foolish is the worst that can happen, and it isn't as bad as you can build it up to be.

You are playing some very intricate stuff in your videos. One of the hardest things for me is to play the melody with the pinky, while the other fingers are forming chord beneath. It is very hard to make the pinky sound smooth and controlled. For me, that would be a danger area when playing under pressure. I would build my set, no matter how long, with easier actions of the hands and fingers first, then building to more dangerous stuff.

I have dealt with speaking and performing in front of people almost every day since I was in junior high. Sometimes I feel great and sometimes I feel like a hot towel has been draped over my head and I realize I am alone with nothing to show for myself. It is sometimes a random thing that I still get. I hate it, too. Just hate it, as I feel I have not made any progress in my life's calling for 40 years. Sticky hands, jitters, and I say random things and misunderstand what people are saying. It can get pretty bad. On the other hand, I have sat onstage while being introduced for a talk. Sitting there, I can sometimes think: I have no idea how I will begin this. But I am a god right now, and what I say will be funny, smart, and live-changing for someone. So, it's a crapshoot.

Play with other musicians. That will help loads.

T.

to you Sir I take off my hat and say awsome,you should play in a band you are that good.you should start playing with some friends and work your way into bigger groupe you have so much talent.I love you electric guitar solo also you are a very good player keep it up Bill...

wish I could play with you I could learn so much:wink:

First of all - it's a confidence thing, as all above have said or intimated.

And, again, you are far from alone in having performance anxiety. I have it less when playing guitar than speaking, but either way, I still have it big-time.

Are you ok speaking to crowds? Or is it more guitar related? If it is more guitar related - well, as others have said, you play beautifully. In which case you probably just need to do it more - but by starting out in the most non-threatening way possible. Perhaps invite some friends over for a party/ "concert" where you play a few tunes.

Next time you play out - play your easiest tunes first - the ones you are most confident with. Even if they aren't what you think are your "best" tunes.

And, you say you stank up the place. I'd bet you didn't. We're often hardest on ourselves. Which is fine to a point - it can make us work harder to achieve our goals. But it can cross the line into a negative too.

In any event, I'm going to tell you that performing solo - be it a standup comic, dance, guitar, whatever - is not an easy thing for an awful lot of us. You should give yourself a big pat on the back for doing it in the first place. It make take some time and effort to be able to perform comfortably in those sort of situations. And as Gary T's post above shows - not even the pros are immune to performance jitters. Again, it can be a good thing if it doesn't go too far. And also realize that there are lots of times we think we suck - but the audience has no clue. Sometimes we're just too focused on little mistakes that fly by in an instant that nobody in the audience even notices. Or we think we could have done it better. Well, I heard some of your stuff and you at 50% of your abilities would be far more enjoyable than lots of folks' best performance.

So, let's build on the positive. You went out and did it!! Ok, you didn't think it went as good as it could have - but you came here for advice. Which I'm hoping means you're at least game to give it another go. And I hope you will.

The guitar chops are there. You just need to build some confidence and comfort playing in front of people. Which comes by doing.I don't know what the best approach for you might be - but I hope you stick with it.

Cheers,
Geoff

Dude...what you've already done is all you need to keep doing.

Practice as much as you can between open mic nights....and as a newbie expect to stink up the place a few more times before you nail it.

Once you except that you will probably make mistakes and screw up, you will play better.

Keep going...it will get easier...and you will get better.

I watched your clips and it is not a playing problem. I have played for some fairly large crowds when I was younger with way less ability than you have and never had a problem getting onstage. I use and like visualization as a technique and still use it when I have to do public speaking. I imagine myself playing or speaking specifically I see myself smiling and making eye contact with the audience and when I was playing live, hitting good notes and "feeling" it. I would visualize people in the audience nodding their heads and connecting to what I was doing. In essence, I was giving the performance in my mind and having the audience enjoy it. It then was much easier to actually do it because I felt like I had already done it. Good luck, I would like the opportunity to catch you live one day.

Try some orgies. You get over it in a hurry.

Try some orgies. You get over it in a hurry.

And if you need an opening act for these, call me!

I'm no solo artist myself. I was scared to death to attempt it. One time though my wife convinced me to bring my acoustic camping and to do "a few songs". After some of my favorite beverages, I decided to try it. Next thing I knew, they are all singing along, carrying on, having a blast. Then they named me "Troubador" of the group...we belong to a group of friends/family that goes camping together all the time.

After that it became much easier, and we just have a blast when I play, and they request songs I know, and we do sing alongs, and so on.

Here's something funny about that. I was at the campground, and I was doing some Hank, Sr. songs. A boy about 12 comes up (just someone in the campground) and says, "Excuse me, but can you play some country music?". :shock: :lol: :shock:

If you can play and sing a song okay when you're alone, it isn't an ADD issue.

My suggestion is to desensitize yourself by playing first to just your girlfriend, then perhaps her and another friend, and then a few more folks. I found that any stage fright I had tended to go away with repetition. Do that a few times and work on keeping your focus on the microphone in front of you rather than the people on the other side of the mic, and I suspect you'll be just fine!

Tim

Just listened to some of your tunes and talent is NOT the issue as folks have said. I concur :mrgreen:! :mrgreen: Tim is right on here. The more you play in front of folks the easier it becomes. I just started singing in front of folks and found myself looking out over the "crowd" (liberal use of literal meaning!) and putting it out there!

Regarding playing sans singing - just play for the folks like you play for your camera!

Good luck and get back on your horse!

KC

Thank you all so very much! I'm simply overwhelmed with all the nice comments and encouragement.

I was surprised to receive a very nice email and a couple pictures from a woman in the audience that night. I thought I would share it with you folks...

Hi, Bill. I'm attaching a couple of pictures from Friday night. I hope you like them.
It was fun listening to you play. I loved the music you chose and your skills with a guitar are pretty impressive! I don't play any instruments anymore, but I'm very appreciative of those who do.

take care,

Robin Nellist

Now I'm more determined than ever. The next open mic night is the first Friday in September. I'm going to practice like a madman, and I'm going to nail my set.

Thanks again for all the support. I can't even begin to express how much it means to me. :smile:

If I could play the Claw by Jerry Reed, I'd walk into that open mic night cocky as hell, and tell them mf'ers to sit down and listen! :mrgreen:

Great pickin'. Nothing to be nervous about there.

gAF_fxCJzbo

Groupies after one open mic. Go Figure.:razz:

Congratulations of course!

I am a very timid guy when it comes to being around a few people I don't know. But on stage I have absolutely no nervousness, discomfort or shyness.

I control the events and I have had this theory since my teens. I see it like this : I'm the one who decides and controls what happens on stage, not them. Therefore, it all depends on me and my skills, which I am confident in.

Remember this about the folks in front of you, 95% of them can't do what you are doing and even if they can, out of that proportion who says they have the guts to do it on stage ?
So basically, you're the man. :wink:

If you really choke and bomb, bear in mind that the experience does not kill you. The worst chokes that I have ever seen are pointed out to the audience by the speaker or performer him/herself. If they hadn't remarked on their nervousness, I probably would never have known.

Although I was never much of a finger-picker, I could play a mean version of Classical Gas, as well as the Theme from MASH (Suicide is Painless). Something easy like these, yet emotionally forceful and appealing, could be the kind of song you have in your back pocket for when the need arises. Girl From Ipanema or other Jobim tunes would work also.

There's an open mic the first Friday of the month at the local grange, and my G.F. has been challenging me to play. I should have known better. I've never been able to perform solo in front of people. I always tense up and lose focus. I thought maybe I could psych myself up this time, be confident and just let the music flow as if I was playing all alone. Wrong. I stunk the place up pretty bad. I wonder if I have attention deficit disorder or something... I lose focus so easy. Could medication be the answer?

At our age? - just go for it.

When I was young I maybe got nervous but I've now we're just performing in front of a bunch of kids.

Alcohol, get blind drunk, excellent idea, helps you focus your concentration, aids hand-eye coordination but without the brain in gear. :twisted:

Step up to the mic, take a deep breath, you're at home...

Everybody has nerves - even some of the most hardened pro musicians.

My first public performance was an absolute nightmare and for years I used to get so nervous my nose would run almost continuously while I was onstage!! Not pleasant!

Even now, I find that the more technically tricky things I want to play, sometimes I can't when I'm onstage. I can play no problem at home or rehearsals but the added nervous energy when onstage just makes my fingers tense up.

So I always end up keeping things as simple as possible and usually get through without any glitches.

Mistakes will happen, that's a fact of life. Just don't get hung up on them.

I have the same problem when it comes to this kinda stuff to. It is just that you are nervous.

I know just what the OP means. My big problem is singing - I hate singing in front of people and I hate hearing myself over a PA. However for me really the big hurdle at an open mic night is getting started. My solution is to play something very very simple that I know well (usually the Velvet's Sweet Jane) as a first number. Once I get over that first hurdle I'm OK though it takes a while longer before I'm prepared to attempt something complex on the guitar was well as singing.

There's an open mic the first Friday of the month at the local grange, and my G.F. has been challenging me to play. I should have known better. I've never been able to perform solo in front of people. I always tense up and lose focus. I thought maybe I could psych myself up this time, be confident and just let the music flow as if I was playing all alone. Wrong. I stunk the place up pretty bad. I wonder if I have attention deficit disorder or something... I lose focus so easy. Could medication be the answer?

I wish I had an easy answer for you.
I am a natural-born show-off.
The first time I ever got in front of people was like: why do anything else?

You have to feel like you are about to play as well as you ever have when you hit the stage.
That feeling can't be faked.
You have to shed everything that can take your mind off of your playing.

I do not recommend 'medication'.
Feeling no pain is nothing compared to feeling like you are about leave them begging for more.