Make up a lie about the poster above you!

Since his book "Drunken Jibberish For Dummies" was published last year, GH has been assaulted numerous times by extremely poorly dressed individuals with murderous, bloodshot eyes and disgusting breath.

He now only drinks in the bar closest to the local A & E.

rsg has a Web site where he reviews For Dummies books: dummiesbooksreviewsfordummies.co.uk. His review of GH's book includes the words disgusting, brilliant, obtuse, acute and puzzling, as do 93% of all his other reviews.

tgfm thought he was joining an international swingers club when he donated to the World Wildlife Fund.

JS thinks Indiginous Species originate in the same place tone does; which is why he does laundry a bit more often than most.

Jack Straw told me this story:

I once was working backstage during an outdoor N****back show. The venue was actually pretty cool, a big amphitheater kind of like Red Rock, lots of nature and as the sun went down you could even hear animals and frogs croaking. After everything was over the guys were kind of milling around giving the crew and each other high fives like, " Man, we are AWESOME. " It kind of blew my mind that 4 guys could be so into themselves. But I thought, don't judge, maybe it's just performance adrenaline or whatever.
Anyways, one of them says it's time to "get high". I wondered what would N****back's substance of choice would be. The drummer leans over to me ( man his breath stunk)* and says, "Dude,you ever lick a toad?" I'm thinking, you need a tictac not an amphibian !

So just as I'm having my "you gotta be kidding me" moment, he bolts back onstage. Sure enough, he hops off stage into the bushes into the marsh and comes back with a frog.
At this point all the guys are laughing and like throwing it to each other. Un-believable! And disgusting.
So I decided I'd had enough and radioed one of the cops that was doing security. THREE huge officers show up and ask what's going on. Maybe because there are four guys in N****back and there was only three cops, they felt brave that night. So cue the verbal showdown and war of words the drummer gets all in the biggest officer's face (this cop was massive, I'm talking over 280 lbs of solid law enforcement.)

So Mr. Halitosis breathes right in the cops face and says, "What are you going to do about it? "

The cop reaches into his pocket, pulls out a small rattly box of tiny white breath mints, shakes one out and slowly, calmly produces the shiny gleaming oblong candy.

The room was still.

The lead guitar guy who at this point still hadn't cut his hair so he looked alot like a friendly lion asks bewilderedly, "What the heck is that?

The policeman looks them all in the eyes replies, confidently and firmly,

(wait for it)

"It's a Tic-Tac, N****back.

Leave the frog alone. "

Don't forget Great Canadian Music 100 % N ****back Free - Guaranteed!

djalt invented a new word. Tic-tacky a.

GitHead used to live in Wadsworth b4 he moved to North Ridgeville but moved because he got tired of people asking Wadsitworth to ya?"

It would appear that Redstrings, TGFM, Jack Straw, TUTM and djalts threat to beat the crap out of anyone telling lies about them has paid off.

Since the threat rokdog has been crying like a little girl.:sad:

Spudcaster can see in the dark.

Following directions was never one of rokdogs strong points....but he bakes a mean possum pie.


Spud likes the liar thread but feels he should be punished for his lies. Being a nice guy he goes easy on himself and makes himself sit in the bad boy corner for only five minutes per lie.


djalt is completely blind with the exception of Bazooka Bubble gum wrappers which he sees with amazing clarity.

GitHead is attempting to represent HoodieMcFoodie in a lawsuit against Pajama-Gram as an infringement upon his alter-ego/persona. He has run the trial balloon past a well armed PennyCentury, but she was unable to shoot the balloon down, so its now on to the judge!

PC knows elaborate lies always get him into trouble...but he just can't help himself.

An absolutely true story about GH:

GH gets pulled over by a traffic cop.
GH: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were speeding, sir. Please let me see your license.
GH: I don't have a license.
Cop: What? No license?
GH: No, it was suspended for reckless driving.
Cop: Oh man. Well let me see your registration.
GH: This is not my car.
Cop: What?!
GH: No, I stole it. And I killed the owner and stuffed him in the trunk.
Cop: Please step out of the car and place your hands on the roof.
Cop calls for backup. When the second cop arrives, cop #1 gives him the full story. The second cop walks over to GH.
Cop 2: Sir, I understand you were driving without a license.
GH: Why no, officer. Here's my license.
Cop 2: And I understand this is a stolen car.
GH: Of course not. Here's my registration.
Cop 2: The officer who stopped you told me you had no license, stole this car and you have a body in the trunk.
GH: I'll bet that lying SOB told you I was speeding, too.

tgfmike cant relay a funny joke for his own life......

Dr Mike will teach PC the meaning of a good lie if it takes him 14,784 lies to do it.

GH is still trying to remember when that speeding incident happened and if it was in the Jetta or the Corolla. He thinks it was the jetta, the trunks bigger.

telleutelleme actually knows it was the jetta, but does not want to admit that his was the body in the trunk, after stuffing himself on turkey over the holidays.

Very funny story BTW!

nrand was pulled over by the traffic cop and the conversation went like so...

Cop: Name please?

nrand: Aspinall

Cop: Where do you live?

nrand: Blackhall

Cop: Where do you work?

nrand: Town Hall

Cop: What have you got in the boot?....And you'd better think before you answer.

chez doesn't get the story about GH, since he can't figure out how GH got luggage consisting of a large strong case used when traveling into the boot of a Jetta.

Dr Mike swore by big strong cases before OJ.

redstringuitar moonlights as a Tupperware lady.

Hoodie is a Tupperware addict and has bought an entire set every year since 1987. He had to add two rooms to his house to store them.

Mike built an anechoic chamber in his spare room out of Tupperware.

Hoodie moonlights from his day job serving pie, as a party surprise at tupperware parties

As a young child, nrand tried building a canoe out of one of those Tupperware bread boxes.

nrand refuses to accept that he is best known as a pie eater in his local community.

Boblets is acting as Maitre D' tonight at a little restaurant within walking distance from Chez's house. Make sure they have a great night won't you?

Hoodie already knows what I am going to post, since it's already the middle of Saturday for him.

Mike is going to get the clothes off the line for me so I can continue posting...

Hoodie's clothes line makes him proud to be Australian.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_OR1sed5696M/SnJ0xnu15DI/AAAAAAAAAnY/T-YjAt0ZrBw/s400/Annettes+clothesline.jpg

rsg's clothes line usually goes something like, " Yowza, you and that sweater were made for each other darlin'."

JS's closing line is usually, "You won't be sorry."

TGFM tried to get the line "I'll Be Back" trademarked. His claim is that Arnold stole it from him and used it in the movie Terminator without his permission.

His lawyers Dewey, Cheatem and Howe claim they are just about ready to make a settlement with Arnie.

The secret behind those crazy stage moves spud is known for is a combination of gout and a club foot

The secret to UDK's crazy burps is a bottle of stout and a club sandwich.

The secret to Chez's crazy dance moves is a handful of bull ants down his daks.

HoodieMcFoodie uses Tampons

HoodieMcFoodie uses Tampons

Only when my nose is bleeding... :oops:

telefunken made his own shufflebot helmet.

Hoodie's alter ego is "Dark Helmet". And he's surrounded by "A**holes"...

Batman likes to feed the robins in the local park.

Boblets likes to feed the pigeons in the local park... to the bobcats prowling around!

PC's pigeon pot pie recipe was all the rage on her USO tour with The Fabulous Kim Sisters.

Will there ever be a reunion tour? Oh I hope so!

I'm still in love with those wonderful legs.:wink: PC your the bomb, I'm your number one fan:!:

spudcaster winds his own pickups, using reconstituted and processed potato skins. He describes the tone as "starchy".

Hoodie has developed a zero-pollution rubber band powered truck and now every morning he ... wait for it ... winds his own pickup.

Hoodie ordered 2 of these pickups, because he heard that excess carbs would make his tone more fat.

simonc doesn't recycle

telefunken tries to convince people he's a U47, when he's just an ordinary M80.

tgfmike was cruising down Santa Monica Boulevard the other day when he noticed a mantee hitch-hiking on the side of the road. He (the manatee, not Mike) was holding a sign aloft that read, "Dinsdale or Bust". Mike, being the kind hearted chap that he is, did a quick u-turn and pulled up beside the manatee and called "hop in". The manatee gave Mike a withering look and replied, "What do you think I am, a frickin' kangaroo. Get outta here."

Confidential to Hoodie:


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/07/Krays.jpg/250px-Krays.jpg
The Kray twins are looking for you.

Penny has a cousin who excells at making people offers they can't refuse.

Memo to Penny.

Gary and Martin Kemp have heard that you've been slaggin' em off and they want a little word.

Boblets of course continues to slag off the Everly Brothers.

Hoodie has developed a zero-pollution rubber band powered truck and now every morning he ... wait for it ... winds his own pickup.

This forum desperately needs a "like" button, that post had me howling with laughter!

chezdeluxe has never felt the need to slag anyone off directly, he always disguises the insult as repeating something someone else has said... Consequently, everyone ought to be after him but nobody is.

Batman uses the Queens english, by which I mean - he prances about in a sequinned catsuit spouting lyrics from a night at the opera like some postmodern Shakespearian Freddie Mercury.

simonc is responsible for introducing "Shakespeare On Ice" to the thankful citizens of Perth.

JS tried desperatly as a child to convince his parents to let him run away with the Ice Capades. They sat him down and calmly told him "Remember son, they come back every year".

tutm finally has his Silverado fully accessorized:
http://pinktentacle.com/images/10/dekotora_19.jpg

tgfmike polishes his toenails with a fiddle bow.

deadicated knows all of the best fishin' holes in Baltimore.

JS once taught a man to fish, but neglected to impart the importance of proper preparation techniques. May that man rest in peace.

djfick was hoping to learn how to fish from JackStraw, who refused. Since then djfick has taken any opportunity available to smear JackStraw's good name as a fishing instructor.

Batman's winter fishing instructions begin..."The first thing is to have a nice round icehole".

Unfortunately,due to his regional accent, many students are puzzled by that information.

Speaking of regional accents I know a chap called Bruce Wainwright, which to me sounds like the northern version of Bruce Wayne. So his alter ego could be "Batbloke".

chezdeluxe found learning a second language too difficult so he bought "Cockney for Dummies" and went from there.

With twangy tone and strings of 6, you just might get your country fix - what am I?

Batman solved the above riddle and wound up at the tdpri, he came for the riddle, but stayed for the lies.

simon came to tdpri for the lies and ended up learning to play guitar and collecting Telecasters.

simon came to tdpri for the lies and ended up learning to play guitar and collecting Telecasters.

TGFM still isn't sure why he came here. He's even less sure why he stays.

Paddy suffers from scone rage.

simonc has 4 baby teeth on the left side of his mouth

Telefunken moved to North Hollywood during the mid nineties. He's still waiting to be " discovered".

Telefunken moved to North Hollywood during the mid nineties. He's still waiting to be " discovered".

It's supposed to be a "LIE":twisted::twisted::sad:

:mrgreen:

Telefunken has been discovered. No he's still waiting. Wait, he's stopped waiting. Now someone say's he hired a homeless guy to wait for him. I think he moved.

TUTM is Telefunkens agent.

So far he has only been able get him gigs actually cleaning pools, rather than just acting it in films...

SimonC has decided from now on to use only three-letter words when he curses.

PC is highly celebrated for her exclusive use of three syllable curse words. We won't disclose her version of the F word but geez it makes one laugh.

Boblets has this idea that in order for there to be equality every letter of the alphabet needs to have an expletive associated with it, not just f, and he's working on creating a standard. There are expletives in existence which could readily be associated with different letters. For the other letters where he doesn't know an expletive he got lazy and just added "uck" to them. I'm starting to think he just doesn't give a quck!

Batman's birth name was Buck

nrand is quacking up. It's only a matter of time now and he will start using all the two letter words allowed in scrabble.

a chezdeluxe is the new burger flavour at our local maccas.....

t9 sees life through rose coloured glasses. Or is that rosé coloured glasses. He's not telling.

HoodieMcFoodie used to wear rose tinted glasses until one day he left them in his back pocket and sat on them.

Batman heard about Hoodie's unfortunate incident and never puts anything in his back pockets. The result is his front pockets are always so full that whenever he sits down he sets off his car alarm.

tgfmike calls the opening at the top of his shirt the "neck pocket".

Batman has a nice pocket in his skivvies perfect for holding a cucumber. Never know when you're going to run across a cucumberless salad. When it happens Batman will be ready to save the day. He does enjoy playing the hero.

As soon as GH heard that the opening at the top of his shirt is the neck pocket, he began adjusting his posture using shims.

tgfmike stole land from the Tongva-Gabrieliño Native Americans, who live there for 8000 years.



Thank you Google

After reading Frank Herbert's "Dune", telefunken decided to go green and recycle his own body fluids.

After reading MAD Magazine, JS started to understand satire and to embrace it.

TUTM reads National Geographic for the "articles".

National Geographic gets simonc all hot under the neck pocket...

As a child Batman always wanted to own an oscar mayer weinermobile.
Now that he's all grown up - he bought the other weinermobile - a prius.

simonc pretends that he likes Telecasters, but all his guitars have pointy edges, a floating trem and say "Ibanez" on the headstock.

Batman takes tourists' pictures on Abbey Road.

PC owns an outhouse in the Hamptons.

Simon considers an outhouse to be luxury.

chez clearly understands the perils of beginning an outhouse theme in this thread and yet has gone down that road anyway.

Doc Mike knows quite well the dangers of an outhouse theme because of his extensive experiences on the liars thread on the Gibson forum pages where he is a Surgeon of SG

Hollowman has a southern bidet installed in his outhouse.

(its a bullfrog with a mouthfull of swamp water).

Simon, Hoodie, Chez and Boblets have recently re-united and will be forming a Silverchair tribute band. They will call themselves Woodenthrone.

hollowman talks potty mouth all the time. its really starting to give people the s**ts!

simonc knows that home is where the toilet is.

Batman takes tourists' pictures on Abbey Road.

Don't need to, look! http://www.abbeyroad.com/Crossing

It's quite funny actually, if you watch it long enough you'll see people trying to be the Beatles and annoying the traffic!

nrand heard of extreme ironing and decided to invent extreme pooping. He's pooped everywhere.

Batman will only eat curds and whey for breakfast but will not go near the tuffet as only a stool will do.

Boblets used to swim at Nudgee Beach, near the Luggage Point ocean sewage outfall. He wasn't fazed by the smell at all. He'd just put a peg on his nose and go on swimming undeturd.

Hoodie stepped into the fragrant stream, but the water had moved on.

no lie - realising the auspiciousness of the number of posts nrand is considering leaving it here and bidding TDPRI adieu - no lie its a long way to 2222

nrand is like Popeye, only with arugula.

Esaaal has been on retreat getting in touch with his inner Bluto.

JackStraw is annoyed with this theme since nrand and Esaaal got Popeye and Bluto, he's stuck with being Olive Oyl.

Batman will gladly pay you tomorrow for a burger today.

E bears a remarkable resemblance to Swee'Pea.

Doc Mike really doesn't resemble Swee'Pea so much, but he does wear a onesy most of the time

Hollowman once wore his feet pajamas to a Chiefs game.

Spud's footie pajamas have cleats.

SPUDCASTER likes the taste of envelope adhesive.

In Carnegie Mellon University professor Dave Anderson's Fast Array of Wimpy Nodes, JS is node 1064.

tgfmike is facinated with melons, but not for the reason you think:

tgfmike is convinced that the bee-sting pattern on each melon disproves the Mayan Calendar theories as to the end of the world, and predicts that Atlantis shall rise again.

That, or there is a great sale going on at the local KFC......

PraiseCaster picketed his local KFC demanding more wings per bucket.

chezdeluxe, like me, never tells a lie and is really only 16

Fuzzbender was recently carded at Chuck-e-Cheeze.

TUTM wrote to Walt Disney in 1958 asking if he could become a Junior Woodchuck.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQRSFVjTpo6DCujG9JwAUsyFYgFELCSq xcOrTeS_SOkZX9COf63

Chez's "Larr -Y- Limburger" franchise is experiencing a slump.

Esaaal occasionally gets his finger stuck on the "a" key (he gets this all the time).

Batman has a stack of brand-new keyboards just in case any of his keys get stuck. He also sorts the money in his wallet by denomination, with the larger bills in the back and will only eat M&Ms two at a time and both have to be the same color.

tgfmike eats money and pays for stuff with M&Ms. Then he wakes up and wonders why he keeps having this same weird M&M currency dream every night. Maybe it's prophetic...

Batman hasn't eaten any greens since Friday 11 March 1988.

RSG has built all his furniture out of empty IRN-BRU cans.

PC uses bovril as a shampoo - to give it a more beefed up look.

simonc's cat is named Bovril.

elicross he can't come up with better lies.

Esaaal replaced the horn in his car with a Mellotron.

Hoodie replaced the horn in his car with a woodwind.

Mike gained an octive after he had his reeds replaced.

Mike gained an octive after he had his reeds replaced.

Esaaal voted for Rick perry yesterday

Samr voted for Steve Perry yesterday.

Esaaal voted for a Latte over a Canole.

Tutm took the gun and left the canoli.

E giggles when he buys his Big Bends Nut Sauce

Esaaal mistook his banana for a gun, was seen trying to shoot his way out of the supermarket, then found hiding in a corner with hollowman and a bowl of nuts.

nrand, dealing with issues of self esteem, frequents the mediocremarket and saves the supermarket for special occasions.

Until the age of 14, JS thought the supermarket is where Clark Kent shopped.

Esaaal prefers the liquor store.

Oops, uh oh, it's supposed to be a lie. lets see....

Esaaal prefers to shop at Victorias Secret!

Naw, thats a lame one. Let's see...

Esaaal says "If it can't be bought at a bar it's not worth buying."

Crap, now I'm stuck on a post without a good lie and Chez has leap frogged me.

Did I mention Manatee?

Esaaal impressed his friends at the bowling alley with his matching ball, shirt, slacks and shoe combination.

Githead's team "The Guttersnipes" just dress loose.

chez's band, the Sniper Hunters Trio, plays acoustic soft jazz at coffee houses.

Dr Mike left SHT after realizing how bad one made them look and sound.

RSG was tgfmike's replacement. Until the "hair metal" incident...

Batman is really a bail with aspirations.

RSG thinks that wearing one of these will improve his googly.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ee/PaulStrandBowlerHat.jpg

Wearing a bowler hat improved Batman's game. He now bowls a 302 twice a week. He's going to look for bowler socks and a bowler boxers next.

Esaaal gave up bowling for golf. Claims the shoes don't look as funny and the balls are lighter.

Spudcaster caused an outrage when he planted potatos at the local putting green.

Batman had his best round of golf while eating French Fries.

PraiseCaster has trained all the ants in the backyard to march in formation. He is working on a syncopated goose step for a forthcoming ant lion's convention.

Boblets has developed an HTML script that triggers the Phantom Page syndrome. Paul has requested that Bobby Cease and Desist immediately.

Boblets still thinks it's funny.

Well it is funny - of course - to those who know - heh heh heh!

Penny produces high tech melon launchers and flogs them as HTMLs at combined computer geek/watermelon seed spitting conventions.

PC's old family recipe for disaster :

Ingredients (serves 12)
250g butter, softened
1 cup caster sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla essence
3 eggs
2 1/2 cups self-raising flour
2/3 cup milk
icing sugar mixture, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 180°C/160°C fan-forced. Grease and line an 8cm-deep, 19cm (base) square cake pan with baking paper.
Using an electric mixer, cream butter, caster sugar and vanilla in a medium bowl on medium-high speed until light and fluffy.
Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating to combine. Add half the flour. Stir to combine. Add half the milk. Stir to combine. Repeat with remaining flour and milk.
Spread mixture into prepared pan. Bake for 1 hour or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. Stand in pan for 10 minutes. Turn out onto a wire rack to cool. Dust with icing sugar. Serve.

Pure evil genius - the cake should have stood for 20 minutes...MWahahahah!

Boblets is proud that he finally got to use the term 'melon launcher' without getting his knuckles rapped with a ruler.

Simonc once tried to bake a time travel cake. One bite and you started seeing edits.

dsutton24 was paid by Boblets to draw further attention to the term "melon launcher". He has an agenda, you see.

Batman is still trying to locate the episode of Nature where David Attenborough sneeks up on a genda. Hilarious!

JackStraw is so bad at hiding his agenda, people like to say it's "transparent"... or "transgenda" for short. Or at least, that's what I assume they mean.

Batman was disappointed with the Air and Space museum expecting to find a big empty room filled with air. He found the mechanical clutter disconcerting.

Quote from the NY Times review of JS's novel, The Time Machine, The Telecaster And The Teaspoon:

"There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts."

Mike's latest self help book is due out next month.

Titled "The World of Soft Shoe -How to Dance Your Way to Social Ridicule", the film rights have already been sold to Woody Allen.

Chez's book Australian Rules Football Misconceptions which is due to be released in 2012 is said to focus on one major topic; most people believe there are no rules.

Liars beware!

TUTM is dead,

his restless spirit lying from beyond the confines of the grave.

Tis said somedays the graveyard is filled with creepy laughter.

His last will and testament decreed he should be buried with a laptop, his Tele, and the chick across the street.


Oh, and don't leave flowers please...he prefers Doritos.

The character in Blazing Saddles, Gabby Johnson, was based on GitHead but they had to tone it down a bit to make it believable.

Jackstraw was up for the part of "Mungo", but couldn't put the horse down with one punch.

They did give him the part of the old guy spotting the new sheriff come into town. Sad thing is the voice isn't a put on.

JackStraw is famous for retorting to a hostile New York audience "nobody move or the guitar player gets it!" They didn't get it.

nrand is frequently mistaken for a logic gate.

Bman is often mistaken for a garden gate.

tgfm has called his vegetable plot strawberry fields and whenever a visitor arrives his first words are "let me take you down".

Boblets was the human model for the animated version of the Minions in Despicable me

http://d2f8dzk2mhcqts.cloudfront.net/0613_Minion/54.jpg

PraiseCaster always has something good to say about sugar.

batman still wears his hair in a morrissey style do - to preserve his love of the 80's.

SimonC never gets tired of humming "Come On, Eileen". One of his neighbors punctured both eardrums with a pencil in order to escape Simon's terpsichorean muse.

Ever since PC was on a lager lout tour of Australia, she can't get "Cmon Aussie C'mon" out of her head.
2qJLi5y2d2w

She also thinks Australia is the land of the long brown moustache - after watching Denis Lillie, Rod Marsh, Merv Hughes, David Boon et all during this period.

Ever since Simon went sasquatch hunting in the bush of western Australia, he can't get "Shake Your Booty" out of his mind.

Jmi_P fancies himself as quite a Simon Templar fan; he has ever restored a Volvo P1800 in white.

PC mods Volvos for fun. The last one was metallic purple with chrome wheels and leopard print interior throughout.

Batman drives a batmobile.

Boblets drives a Webber Q

nrand is serving a 5 year ban for dangerous driving.

Some days Batman just can't get rid of a bomb.

Hoodie has a batman to assist him with polishing his saddle at mustering time.

Boblets uses a black face Vibrolux as a mounting block.

Most of JS's cars are up on blocks.

Esaaal's p76 is chocked so it doesn't roll away. He starts it by rolling it down the hill in the morning.

No lie - Mid way through winter last year I bump started my car every morning for two weeks until I did my back in... Stupid really, I just needed to get to pay day so I could afford a new starter motor!

simonc never had much success with chocks. He eats them all at once.

Batmans favorite pickup line "Really, I just need a bump start".

Spud attributes his double hip replacements to doing the bump back in the 70's.

Esaaal has converted his Volvo into a pickup, somewhat in the style of the Batmobile. It has an extra-sturdy front bumper so he can give other cars a bump start. E still has his original hips, although he's had the brakes replaced on his Volvo 3 times.

tgfmike taught Turtle-Man (Call of the Wildman) everything he knows about dental hygiene

http://kobreguide.com/public/IMGlargephototurtleman.jpg

I don't know what this phantom page thing's all about... it was like that when I found it!

PraiseCaster thinks he got mugged by the tooth fairy, but really it was just a mugger who said they were the tooth fairy.

PC has his own personal power pick up line for getting chicks...

"Ga ga ga...hardy hardy har...Geeehosifat....nyuck nyuck nyuck...Coo Coooo...."

Often done while masterfully executing a one legged version of the chicken dance.


Understanding a scream to be an implied yes he then throws her over his shoulder and runs for the hills.

This technique has been successful. Now if he could only maintain a long term relationship. Preferably past the point where she regains consciousness.


-----------------------------------------

Batman has been perfecting his skills at phantom page flipping, making me his first victim!

GitHead likes to go into a bar, sneak up behind someone who doesn't know him, put his hand over their eyes and say "guess who"? His general tendency is not to remove his hand from their eyes until they guess correctly, which often leads to an altercation with an officer of the law and/or an overnight stay in a cell...

And I told you, it was like that when I found it... I blame PraiseCaster!

All Batman has to do to hone his lying skills is tell us about all his girl friends....or blame PretzelCastor for his page flipping escapades.

Page flipping was one of Githead's favourite pastimes when he worked as a janitor at the Capitol in Washington.

chezdeluxe desperately tried to get hired on as a Page at the Capitol, just so he could sue anyone attempting to flip him, but then the practice was halted.

So he went back to flippin the bird at passing motorists instead, as he road his skateboard while wearing a tattered pink tuu-tuu.

PraiseCaster chose his username because it's an anagram of "Satire Capers".

Batman's sidekick is a small bird with a red breast, common to Europe. he thinks it's pretty cool to have a bird for a sidekick, but his utility belt sometimes comes off in flight

hman's sidekick is a solidboy.

tgfmike reckons his sidekick is Chuck Norris. I can't see this ending well.

Batman had a sidekick installed next to the clutch pedal in his Baby Austin A40 for those frosty English mornings when the battery may act 'ornery. Beats hollering for a Marshal.

Boblets tried to kick Chuck Norris' a$$ and wound up with his nuts for earrings:shock:

hey wait a minute thats me

Guitharley calls a tremolo bar a kickstand.

simon has invented a drink that he calls a Tremolo, consisting of Absolut Kurant Vodka, Cranberry Juice, Soju and Sprite. It tastes better than it sounds, but after a couple of Tremolos you tend to go out of pitch.

Tgfmike had a locking nut installed, but cannot keep track of the Allen wrench.

The indiscriminate use of spring washers coupled with left hand threads meant DS24 could never get his nuts off.

<no lie>Congrats to Dr Mike for the first mention in the Liars thread of "Soju". Shira Kiku restaurant has four mixed drinks on their menu that my partner and I created -- two that use Soju.</no lie>

After a night of drinking Soju, Chez will only respond to his friends in Korean.

No lie-I'm gona mix up some tremolos this week,they sound good!

Pc keeps an eye out for lemonade stands each summer - so she can run up to the kids screaming: don't drink the kool aid!

Speaking of "kool-aid," Simon just drank "The Gear Page kool-aid" and took out a home equity loan for a $55,000 Dumble amplifier.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_inwqzxLqmY

No lie- I may have missed your posts,but it's good to see you posting in the liars thread again Jim!


Jim uses old dumble chassis for furniture about the house, in such a way that mrs pridx doesn't know she's resting her feet on a 20k ottoman.

simonc is a wizard with amps, and adores Dumble. That's why he's sometimes known as "Dumbledore".

Because Alfred is quite handy with a soldering iron,batMan is selling assembled kits under the moniker"I can't believe it's not dumble". 7 out of 10 cork sniffing tone hounds can tell the difference. Batman is just working on some mojo spray to get the extra tone needed.

simon is making a killing selling "I can't believe it's not dumble" amps to the 3 out of 10 who can't tell the difference.

I heard TGFmike does alittle more then play gigs for extra money if you catch my drift.

hfguitar13's neighbors keep catching his drift and really wish he would do something about it.

JS is a professional drift fisherman. He cannot understand why it isn't getting the TV exposure and endorsements that Professional Bass Fisherman get. After all, he already owns a vest with the names of three casting net manufacturer's on it.

telleutelleme rejected an endorsement from Jackson, but he's still trying to shake off the stigma. He says it's unnecessary to have such a horribly shaped headstock, which I suppose is a good point ;)

Batman started using the term "Dumble" in the Liars thread. Great, now Alexander has issued a statement banning all members of the Liars thread from enrolling in his amplifier order waiting list.

PC is secretly angling for an endorsement deal from Dumble

nrand's sermon this morning promises to illuminate the dark recesses at the back of so many endorsement deals.

chezdeluxe has been blatently angling for a Baja Tele in full view of everyone else on the river. So far all he's got is a shopping trolley.

Last time Batman was down by the river, he had a Marshall amp and an LP and blasted out repeated E notes until he was run off by the magistrate. Neil Young would have been proud

"Say it Loud, Say it Proud, Brother we can't quit until we get our share" is Hman's chant whenever he wins at Bingo on Thursday nights. He then waits for his wife to drap him with a cape.

tutm would love to play bingo but he no speaka da lingo.

I had a really great lie about Boblets that included Dumble amps, Jackson guitars, drift fishing, dark recesses, a Baja Tele and Neil Young. Then tutm posted that "say it loud", Bingo, cape lie and I forgot the whole thing.

word on the street is, Mike is selling lies on the blackmarket. You can find him on a street corner in culver around 3 am saying things like " hey man, wanna hear a whopper?" or " I can sell you some of the besst 100% columbian BS man! "

SimonC has been busking recently, under the name Ennis W Slidebone, Jr. People have been averting their eyes and quietly crossing the street. Could it be that his kazoo needs tuning?

PC will buy her very own kazoo as soon as she finds a brass razoo.

Boblets and his wife just had a daughter.

They named her Giblets.......

PraiseCasters G1 using TDPRI App

Years ago, PraiseCaster had a daughter... and a very angry, shotgun totin' father on his case.

RSG moved to Wales to avoid a similar "Shotgun" situation. He's not in the least afraid of Pike or Long Bow weddings.

Tute knows there's nothing more dangerous than a long bow, which is why he only does clip-ons.

Redstringuitar never makes me laugh. Especially the last post.

PraiseCasters G1 using TDPRI App

Praisecaster uses string theory to tune his guitars.

simonc is very gullible. When PraiseCaster outrageously claimed that he could use string theory to tune a guitar, simonc believed it!

Batmans' utility belt has a pouch on it that contains a compendium of every lie uttered in this thread.

Hoodie comes from a long line of marsupial ground dwellers and thus has no need for an aftermarket pouch. Funny mob down Tamworth way.

Boblets likes wearing his pouch sideways - he is living out his second adolescence.

Except at home, nrand wears his ballcap sideways to show his continued belief in Hip Hop.

Except at home, nrand wears his ballcap sideways to show his continued belief in Hip Hop.

TUTM likes to wear his shoes on the wrong feet - he thinks it makes him look like his legs were put on the wrong way round.

spikypaddy took an audition as a mannequin, but the shop decided to stick with the plastic one as it "looks more realistic".

The first thing Batman ever learned to play on his Tele. He also can sing all the lyrics.

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Mike has his own disambiguation page on wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TGF

Can you guess which one is him?

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Batman is a one pot screamer...

SimonC has found out how to vandalize Wiki pages. His latest edit was "J Edgar Hoover is a fink:"

PC reads the Wizard of Id and compares him with the wizard of Oz to see whom would win a WFL bout, inside " the pentagram".

*WFL = Wizard fighting League

She also muses that Dumbledore in fact invented the schematics for the dumble amps, and Alexander Dumble was able to read the runes from the pages of The Lord of the rings and ripped off the designs.

Simon too has been perusing Lord of the Rings for inspiration for his next big musical contraption. So far his only conclusion is that Ent would make really good tone wood.

Hman perused many a ring during his 2 years with US Customs.

rsg spent two years trying to become accustomed to US customs and he stills spells color colour.

Mike is on such familiar terms with the customs guys on the way to his favourite Tijuana tattoo parlour that they even exchange Christmas cards and horseracing tips.