May 30th, 2011, 10:41 AM
HoodieMcFoodie is writing a book about tic-tac-toe
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May 30th, 2011, 10:41 AM
HoodieMcFoodie is writing a book about tic-tac-toe
May 30th, 2011, 11:45 AM
donh located his toes recently with the help of a shoe salesperson but is still searching online for the location and function of his tic and tac.
May 30th, 2011, 11:57 AM
Jack Straw continues his relentless search for his lost wallet of tic tacs and hash that he was mysteriuosly separated from while camping over weekend and mildly experimenting during a show of grateful dead cover band. He intends to post a reward for good karma in thrifty nickels and craigslist throughout CO and the west...
May 30th, 2011, 02:26 PM
tele hog has bacon back ribs on a dinner plate and loves bacon grease to lube autos.
May 30th, 2011, 04:28 PM
When asked at the ER the reason for his accidental poisoning, Doggie replied the label said universal grease so he took that to mean it could be used as a condiment.
May 30th, 2011, 04:48 PM
JS wondered why his potatos were so chewy when he bought some condiments at a gas station.
May 30th, 2011, 06:25 PM
"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one who plays the most notes." - Darwinish
The Darwin-like quote in Telleu's signature has recently been disproven˛, ironically enough by Yngwei Malmsteen's scholarly younger brother Bruce.
Bruce Malmsteen proved that the number of notes played on an instrument is inversely proportional to the number of females listening; therefore, the player is less likely to attract a mate and perpetuate the species.
As a consequence, Telleu still plays Yngwei riffs note for note, but slows them down to 20 bpm.
˛ Bruce Malmsteen, The Art of Species Reproduction: One Slow Note at a Time (Houston: Putney, 2011) 152-9.
May 30th, 2011, 07:53 PM
Scattergun is moving on from lies and damned lies to statistics.
In an attempt to confuse unsuspecting TDPRI liars he intends to substitute mean for median.
May 30th, 2011, 08:35 PM
chez likes to quote the range of a set of numbers.
May 30th, 2011, 09:09 PM
tgfmike thinks irrational numbers should be sedated
May 31st, 2011, 12:25 AM
donh is the acronym for Department of No Homeland.
May 31st, 2011, 05:33 AM
Dog Ma Cats is starting to show signs of 'lie fatigue' after a few too many visits to this thread.
May 31st, 2011, 06:13 AM
Boblets has stopped telling lies to concentrate on stocking his ice cream stand outside Eagle Farm Racecourse.
The Winter Racing Carnival continues this weekend at Eagle Farm and Boblets has come up with a new flavour for unlucky punters, Bitter Salty Tears.
Boblets thinks it will be the taste to capture a new generation;especially as it will be served as a double scoop on his homebaked sourdough cone.
May 31st, 2011, 06:56 AM
chez is always trying to steal my recipes to sell on the black market.
May 31st, 2011, 07:39 AM
Boblets sells real estate on the black market. His signs placed by the curb read, "Move Along, Nothing To See Here.".
May 31st, 2011, 08:53 AM
JackStraw oscillates while he vascillates.
May 31st, 2011, 09:54 AM
HoodieMcFoodie wove his tie from Ronald McDonald's hair
May 31st, 2011, 11:54 AM
Donh is trying to sell black matter on the black market. His real problem is trying to find any.
May 31st, 2011, 12:55 PM
GH is still trying to convince people there's a dark side of the moon.
May 31st, 2011, 01:52 PM
T-Mike refused to go to the beach this weekend. He couldn't find any clean black socks to wear under his sandals.
May 31st, 2011, 02:48 PM
ESaaal's family crest features a railway level crossing with rampant STOP signs and the motto below "I refuse to yield".
The clan is not known for longevity.
May 31st, 2011, 04:05 PM
Chez is saving his best porkies for Swee_Tone's return to this thread.
May 31st, 2011, 05:27 PM
Now that the ice is off Winnepesaukee, Penny's crawfish diving business can resume.
May 31st, 2011, 06:49 PM
Penny and Esaaal have nailed this duet for The Liars' Cotillion in the Big Easy next month.
May 31st, 2011, 07:07 PM
chez taught two of PC's cats to play fiddle backing to one of her cockatiel's vocals on Faded Love. It is even more moving than the Bob Wills version.
<no lie>Caught by the page turn. Edited just in time.</no lie>
May 31st, 2011, 08:26 PM
T-Mike has been invited to Dylan's 70th Birthday bash. Mike is going as Joan Baez and bought a Martin OM especially for this event!
May 31st, 2011, 08:48 PM
PennyCentury still uses her 8-track player to learn new songs
May 31st, 2011, 09:03 PM
donh couldn't play bar chords until a bee stung him on his elbow.
Now he can dodge empty Bud bottles with the best of 'em.
May 31st, 2011, 10:20 PM
Red is still looking for donations to finish his latest "What If" studio album. His latest proposal is a what if set of songs comprised of . "What If Jimi Hendrix covered,Peter,Paul and Mary. C'mon people Give until it hurts.
May 31st, 2011, 10:47 PM
eyerish invented the potato-chip pizza
May 31st, 2011, 10:59 PM
donh runs a Taco truck and makes combination tortilla chips/guitar picks.
June 1st, 2011, 12:00 AM
Penny does a midnight trip to Niagra Falls to bring contraband Buffalo chips to New England. The NH State Police refer to her as "Red The Runner"
June 1st, 2011, 01:33 AM
chezdeluxe manages a gerbil farm
June 1st, 2011, 03:59 AM
donh is located in the Ten Oaks area of AL.
June 1st, 2011, 06:40 AM
Dogma's GPS device uses the voice of Pee Wee Herman.
June 1st, 2011, 08:29 AM
Esaaal determines his location based on the map at the King Of Prussia mall with the little arrow that says "You are here."
June 1st, 2011, 10:20 AM
JS has the same map as Esaaal and has been standing outside American Eagle Outfitters for the past 3 years, afraid that if he moves he won't know where he is.
June 1st, 2011, 12:07 PM
Tmike is amazed at how the little map arrows always seem to know exactly where he is.
June 1st, 2011, 12:15 PM
Here's a screen shot of GH running his new Personal Location System app on his iPhone:
June 1st, 2011, 12:35 PM
TMike marks his territory. Thats why there are so many brown spots in his lawn.
June 1st, 2011, 12:41 PM
GH, upon realizing that a buggy iPhone app has caused a Warthog to lock on:
June 1st, 2011, 01:21 PM
When racing Sulkys, RSG needs a Garmin to keep from making a wrong turn.
June 1st, 2011, 03:08 PM
Esaaal needs blinkers to stop the tears.
June 1st, 2011, 03:21 PM
Redstringuitar is in 2 nd grade
June 1st, 2011, 04:09 PM
Davib checks his Rolex often so he won't be late for recess.
June 1st, 2011, 05:05 PM
Esaaal has a gold-plated Rolex; he removed the "made in China" sticker.
June 1st, 2011, 06:07 PM
PC demands that all her china be made in China.
June 1st, 2011, 08:21 PM
tgfm has replaced all the family fine china with porcelain replicas.
June 1st, 2011, 08:31 PM
Boblets has taken up glasblowing as a hobby. Try as he might he can't get the whiskers right on the miniature manatees.
June 1st, 2011, 08:58 PM
chezdeluxe has been working for years to get 'chopsticks' down on the bassoon.
"next week" he keeps thinking . . . .
June 1st, 2011, 09:50 PM
donh stands in line to post before me on this post almost every day.
June 1st, 2011, 10:38 PM
DMD is ever so slightly dogmatic about standing in line at the local bakery on odd days of the week when french pastries are on sale.
June 1st, 2011, 10:58 PM
Boblets' favorite word is "sausage"
I never sausage a lovely tele!
She went on a tour of the Tea Isles. Afterward, she reported "It was wonnerful having sausage tour Tea isle" (belch)
I wanna go to the desert 'cause I never sausage before.
what a brat!
June 2nd, 2011, 12:10 AM
donh leads a Lawrence Welk tribute band. Sometimes the bubble machine goes haywire.
June 2nd, 2011, 01:32 AM
PennyCentury collects the date wheels from pocket watches
June 2nd, 2011, 03:43 AM
Donh remembers his first date's wheels.
It was her dad's Edsel.
June 2nd, 2011, 07:30 AM
Chez has a second career fixing the wheels on shopping carts.
June 2nd, 2011, 08:11 AM
Esaaal's platinum AAA coverage covers shopping carts. Whenever he has a problem help is only a phone call away.
June 2nd, 2011, 09:16 AM
JS needs a grocery cart with sturdy wheels because TV dinners are heavy.
June 2nd, 2011, 10:18 AM
Esaaal still has his Lady and the Tramp TV tray.
June 2nd, 2011, 01:32 PM
The phrase "where are the good TV trays"? is frequently heard at Mike's house prior to guests arriving.
June 2nd, 2011, 01:34 PM
Esaaal is the stuff painters put paint on before they transfer it to canvas.
June 2nd, 2011, 02:52 PM
Just yesterday Dogma took down his Christmas lights.
June 2nd, 2011, 05:08 PM
Every Christmas esaaal waits patiently by the fireplace with a baseball bat ready to take that old man and his whole freaking bag of toys. By morning every year he wonders how Santa could have known.
June 2nd, 2011, 05:46 PM
GitHead once invited a man with no shoes to remain seated.
June 2nd, 2011, 05:51 PM
reg once invited a man with no seat to remain standing.
June 2nd, 2011, 05:55 PM
JS wants to be left-handed like SJ
June 2nd, 2011, 07:22 PM
redstringuitar has always wanted to own his own Tilt-a-Whirl
June 2nd, 2011, 07:29 PM
donh was the female lead understudy in his highschool production of Carousel. His figure and beardline were a bit iffy but ,boy,those high notes.
June 2nd, 2011, 07:40 PM
none of Chez's Tee Shirts have sleeves but they all have lapels.
June 2nd, 2011, 09:48 PM
Esaaal still wears a Carnation in his lapel in memory of his Junior Prom.
June 2nd, 2011, 11:27 PM
telleutelleme likes to feed on the pigeons in the park
June 2nd, 2011, 11:37 PM
donh has left many apartments from the bedroom window when the husband arrives home unexpectedly -- he knows they won't believe he was only playing their guitar...
June 2nd, 2011, 11:42 PM
Penny is speaking from personal experience. Her best friend told her this.
June 3rd, 2011, 05:02 AM
garyt got a fright the other day when he looked in the mirror and saw his avatar looking back at him.
June 3rd, 2011, 08:31 AM
Expecting a big weekend, Boblet's has already applied two coats of Simonize.
June 3rd, 2011, 11:14 AM
Esaaal is an extech from the planet hazardously. Which is part of the feetplaster galaxy.
June 3rd, 2011, 11:52 AM
DD's band's equipment has continued to grow, making it difficult to get to their gigs. DD solved the problem with the flatbed version of the Mercedes Unimog. Here's a pic on the way to their most recent gig:
June 3rd, 2011, 04:28 PM
TGFM plays all his gigs at home.
"Mike doesn't go to the mountain" he says.
"The mountain comes to Mike"
June 3rd, 2011, 05:39 PM
chez is having trouble finding a home improvement contractor that specializes in wattle and daub.
June 3rd, 2011, 07:25 PM
Coincidentally, JS's new Irish roots acoustic band is called Wattle and Daub. JS is Daub.
June 4th, 2011, 12:10 AM
tgfmike is the scriptwriter for the Jerry Springer Show
June 4th, 2011, 02:25 AM
donh always opts for Jerry Springer after market shock absorbers but for the life of me I can't remember why.
June 4th, 2011, 02:41 AM
Boblets got a lump of coal for Christmas.
June 4th, 2011, 02:43 AM
bblts also can't remember why he opted for a springer and aftermarket shocks on his current ride....(ride hidden by request... )....:lol: yeah, i'm still alive......
oops sorry as hell.......fade in.......
June 4th, 2011, 02:58 AM
LAZee is from the show me state, and has rolled his own since he got an 8th grade edumacation.
June 4th, 2011, 03:18 AM
Dogma sits at his kitchen table and pours himself bowl after bowl of Lucky Charms with episodes of "General Hospital" recorded on his DVR playing in the background.
At the same time, he reads Wiki biographies of Ted Bundy, Jack the Ripper, David Berkowitz, et al.
He's a serial cereal eating/serial watching/serial killer aficionado.
June 4th, 2011, 03:20 AM
"Roll Another One...... just like the other one....",DD thinks his high school motto should be shouted thru the halls of musicdom.com. so he can apply.......
June 4th, 2011, 03:34 AM
S Man....he had a collection of GH on Beta....unfortunately, it is on loan to the Smithsonian.....
June 4th, 2011, 08:24 AM
LA Zee's last fortune cookie read," You are smarter than you think. Your love of aluminum foil might cause problems later. Sleeping with one eye open will improve your concentration.Your wallet is empty so it is advised you quietly leave before the waiter comes back."
June 4th, 2011, 10:03 AM
JackStraw uses a Tacoma Papoose to play the cello parts
June 4th, 2011, 04:21 PM
donh thinks a cello is a side order that goes well with pizza.
June 4th, 2011, 04:42 PM
Batty has ordered the latest Pablo Casals Roadworn Signature Model. The Yo-Yo Ma Closet Classic is out of stock and doesn't have the V neck Batty prefers.
June 4th, 2011, 05:00 PM
chez is aware that "Batty Man" is a homophobic insult where I come from, and was overjoyed to be so deliberately offensive to refer to me as "Batty" in his last post... ;)
June 4th, 2011, 05:31 PM
Batman subscribes to Streetslang Monthly just so he can keep up.
June 4th, 2011, 06:07 PM
Chez is under the impression that being from 'Down Under' is somehow superior to being from 'The Other Side Of The Tracks'
June 4th, 2011, 07:26 PM
yb tells anyone who will listen he prefers the dark side of the moon to the illuminated side.
June 4th, 2011, 07:42 PM
Whenever JS sees a red door he must have it painted black - and he wants the sun blotted out of the sky.
<no lie> this is what happens when one listens to old Rolling Stones songs on the radio <no lie.
June 4th, 2011, 07:49 PM
Boblets is not really feeling ill, but there's a little yellow pill...
June 4th, 2011, 08:05 PM
Yellowbeard is wondering why he didn't take the blue pill.....
June 4th, 2011, 08:24 PM
Stc did take the blue pill - he just doesn't remember.
June 4th, 2011, 08:33 PM
:sad:TGFMick attended Woodstock, and he wouldn't share the brown acid with me.
June 4th, 2011, 08:34 PM
TGFMIKE remembers,back in the day we used to... wait, what was that again?
June 4th, 2011, 11:25 PM
Mellowyellow is a sunshine superman..
June 5th, 2011, 08:49 AM
After 30 years and hundreds of hours on the Internet ChzDlx finally found out what a Hurdy Gurdy Man was. "Man that was a waste of time was all he could say"
June 5th, 2011, 10:34 AM
tutm promoted a bantam weight fight featuring Mr. Bojangles vs. the Hurdy Gurdy Man in the seventies. The Hurdy Gurdy Man had a tremendous right hook from turning that crank for years but it was no match for Mr. Bojangles light footwork.
June 5th, 2011, 12:28 PM
Jackstraw is tele-afflicted with les paul-itis. he gets treatment at the MIM plant in Costa Rica.
June 5th, 2011, 03:22 PM
DD has decided that in order to make geography easier for the next generation, he will combine similar countries. He's started by combining Mexico and Costa Rica and will next add Canada to the U.S. He is looking at Southern Europe for some other possibilities.
June 5th, 2011, 04:42 PM
TUTM has a great navigation system. "Always keep the sun on your right and you can't go wrong".
June 5th, 2011, 07:24 PM
Chez, means keep the sun on your left,,,,since he lives down under. And a plastic jesus on the dashboard is his main navigator anyway.
June 5th, 2011, 07:35 PM
Yellowbeard runs a highly regarded Terrapin Rescue Centre in uptown Minneapolis
June 5th, 2011, 11:06 PM
telepath took the high road and found a low road in all directions.
June 6th, 2011, 01:05 AM
DOGMA once took the low road back in the late 60s and permanently ended up in Sheboygan. He considers his venture a success, for his mastery of bratwurst linkage and toiletry repair and design has earned him the local reputation as the "Dunn dis & Dunn dat handyman of da year" in Sheboygan County.
June 6th, 2011, 08:34 AM
Jim Pridx likes to spend his spare time packing out telephone booths with his mates. He insists on being the last one in, so he can recite his catchcry, "there's always room for one more" in his best Bullwinkle J. Moose voice.
June 6th, 2011, 09:56 AM
Following his attempt to swallow 50 Goldfish and 50 hardboiled eggs in a hour, Hoodie no longer eats fish, eggs or Roe.
June 6th, 2011, 11:59 AM
when crossing a river, TUTM always debates row vs. wade
June 6th, 2011, 12:05 PM
Esaaal is the acronym for English Suppliers And African Analysis League.
June 6th, 2011, 01:59 PM
If you connect all the dots (moles) on DOGMA's back you'll get a reasonable likeness of the Mona Lisa.
June 6th, 2011, 04:09 PM
In his younger years Esaaal was Penn State Fair mole whacking champ three times in a row. When he tried out the fourth time he was busted in a random corndog loading test and disqualified from all future competition. To this day he blames the sixth corndog which he says "Tasted funny".
June 7th, 2011, 03:57 AM
Chez' favorite band of all time is Gerry and the pacemakers.
June 7th, 2011, 04:27 AM
simonc has calculated the cost for WMF bail out for 2025.
June 7th, 2011, 06:19 AM
DD sits in a boat in his yard with half a Clorox bottle waiting for the rain. He wants to practice his bailing technique.
June 7th, 2011, 06:52 AM
Esaaal would never remember this, but in his younger days he could keep an FJ Holden running across the Nullabor with two strands of bailing wire and a pair of pliers. http://www.travography.com/nullarbor/
June 7th, 2011, 01:41 PM
Boblets does not remember his younger days.
June 7th, 2011, 02:26 PM
The Carney's always lose big when trying to guess Doc Mike's age. Not surprisingly, his stuffed animal collection has grown to epic proportions.
June 7th, 2011, 03:13 PM
Tutm's plushie collection has a full size Chewbaca in it.
June 7th, 2011, 04:40 PM
Esaaal is neither a 'bacca chewer nor a snuff sneezer. What was good enough for Kojak is good enough for Esaaal.
June 7th, 2011, 04:44 PM
ChzDlx does a remarkable cover of Lolly Pop Lolly Pop in Falsetto. Then he rests before doing We Like Bread and Butter.
June 7th, 2011, 05:55 PM
Rumor has it that TUTM just custom-ordered a pair of sunburst sister ukuleles for his Tiny Tim tribute act. He can even sing "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" in his natural voice.....no falsetto.
June 7th, 2011, 06:41 PM
jim pridx has tree feet with capri pants and four toes on to of them.
June 7th, 2011, 07:49 PM
DogMatron does not own or even know how to use a computer. His posts are created by intense concentration and single minded purpose.
June 7th, 2011, 10:30 PM
Jack was the worlds preeminent player of guitar by telekinesis. Until that horrible day,when he had the accident. With the shot of Old Grandad and a leaky ink pen. Poor Jack
June 8th, 2011, 12:55 AM
Eyerish wrote the lyrics to The Ventures' hits.
June 8th, 2011, 02:11 AM
Penny was Marcel Marceau's dialogue coach.
June 8th, 2011, 04:24 AM
some call the chez deluxe and bolt force mango with Blegian ale barley whine.
June 8th, 2011, 04:35 AM
Dog ma cats is never dogmatic about philosophical dogma.
June 8th, 2011, 06:59 AM
Boblets Karma ran over his Dogma
June 8th, 2011, 08:20 AM
Esaaal's first task as greenskeeper for the Merion Country Club was to fill in the annoying holes he kept finding on the greens, eighteen in all. Next on his list is to get grass to grow on the sandy areas scattered around the course.
June 8th, 2011, 11:03 AM
JS's trick shots using a pool cue always aggrivates the green's keepers because of the divots he leaves when he scratches.
June 8th, 2011, 11:30 AM
TUTM gave up bowling for golf. He says the balls are lighter and the shoes don't look as funny.
June 8th, 2011, 12:07 PM
SPUD gave up golf for cotillions.
June 8th, 2011, 12:16 PM
Several auto makers contacted tgmike to sell their cars. This resulted in.....
June 8th, 2011, 12:22 PM
As a quest speaker of the NATIONAL LEAGUE OF JUNIOR COTILLIONS, Doc Mike ocassionally will tell his audience "Never place your hands in your shorts while in public". Though not in the regular etiquette curriculum, he feels it is well worth mentioning before beginning the dance part of his lecture.
June 8th, 2011, 12:32 PM
Telleutelleme was playing his Telecaster for the Jackson County Square Dancing Coalition meet-and-greet nursing home festival when he had too much to drink and belted out a magical chicken pickin' solo while the octogenarians sat in amazement contemplating cotillions of square dance festivals of yore.
June 8th, 2011, 12:54 PM
52's Butterscotch melted in the hot, hot sun.
June 8th, 2011, 05:35 PM
Little fluffy ducklings and kittens can melt Esaaal's cold,cold heart.
June 8th, 2011, 07:35 PM
Tony Bennet singing Cold Cold Heart was ChzDlx's introduction to cross-over music. Since then only Kid Rock has met his criteria as a cross-over artist although he thought Molly Cyrus had possibilities.
June 8th, 2011, 09:34 PM
TUTM was the road manager for Molly Hatchett. The drummer at the time was Billy Ray Cyrus, the father of Molly Cyrus. TUTM named the band after her because she used to chase his kids around with a hatchet yelling "here chick chick chick chick".
June 8th, 2011, 10:28 PM
When Spudcaster is chagrined, he slaps his forehead and exclaims, "oh spud!"
June 9th, 2011, 12:45 AM
PennyCentury was a Millennialist at a time when neither centuries nor millennia drew nigh upon the yearning of her template whilst Masonic imagery wielding cyclopseian pyramidal green ink eluded short lines ingrained in her sweaty palms of guitarrific wizardry.
June 9th, 2011, 12:47 AM
52B meant every word of that.
June 9th, 2011, 03:05 AM
The avitar gary telecastor uses is a portrait of his late father.
June 9th, 2011, 04:54 AM
DOGMA Dunn lives in sin.
June 9th, 2011, 04:55 AM
Boblets has taken a job as Arnie Schwarzenegger's body double.
June 9th, 2011, 06:53 AM
Chez sent a birthday card to Arnie's love child.
June 9th, 2011, 08:07 AM
When E orders his lunch sandwich from his favorite local deli he asks the counter help for a thorough dissertation on the differences between salami and pastrami before placing his order for salami.
June 9th, 2011, 08:52 AM
JackStraw makes hay while the sun shines.
June 9th, 2011, 09:36 AM
Hoodie took a trip to the south side of Chicago looking for Bad Bad Leroy Brown but instead, he found some guy named Slim who promptly beat the tar out of him.
June 9th, 2011, 10:27 AM
This is E's backyard tar kiln, which he built so he can help out those unfortunate enough to have the tar beaten out of them:
June 9th, 2011, 02:36 PM
tgfmike was tarred and feathered by the Redcoats while walking home from helping a bunch of drunk rabble-rousers steal a shipment of the King's tea and dump it in the harbor.
June 9th, 2011, 04:46 PM
52B is seeking supporters for the USA Restoration of the Monarchy Movement.
June 9th, 2011, 07:29 PM
While walking through Burslem in a red and white striped shirt, Chez was set upon by a gang of Valiant Sagger Maker's Bottom Knockers shouting "Up the Vale, down the lardie boys".
June 9th, 2011, 08:08 PM
rsg gets the collywobbles whenever he eats a da periwinkles.
June 9th, 2011, 08:08 PM
RSG is determined to name a son Josiah Wedgwood Noritake.
Boblets' podiatrist has forbidden him to wear winkle-pickers.
June 9th, 2011, 11:19 PM
Ample time has three fingers with chez' bottom line for surf board wax.
June 9th, 2011, 11:36 PM
DOGMA was a bugle tootin' scalawag from Dixie who always wore his clodhoppers to the county cotillions where the well heeled carpetbaggers puffed upon stylized pipes with penchant for pollywogs.
June 9th, 2011, 11:41 PM
52BS ate the cherry out of the fat mans gut on the well deck of an LHD....... NORTH of the EQUATORIAL BUOY LINE.......
June 10th, 2011, 12:55 AM
At the sixth question, five question folded up and cried like a little girl. Hey Question Mark, the Mysterians called and wanted their 96 tears back.
June 10th, 2011, 10:31 AM
When he really needs to chuck a potato, Yukon Golds are prefered over Redskins by Spudcaster.
June 10th, 2011, 10:40 AM
When E needs to chuck a potato, he puts in his Delta Industrial 46-455 12-1/2-Inch 5-Speed Midi Lathe and turns out another lovely candlestick.
June 10th, 2011, 12:11 PM
I just can't make up anymore lies about TGFM. I'm married to his third ex-wife and I'm the godfather to his eleven kids. See you on Fathers Day buddy, I'll bring the potato salad and the Thunderbird.
June 10th, 2011, 12:20 PM
Spudcaster's potato salad delivery service "SpudSaladGuy.com" is failing because the mayo spoils in the sun, in the back of his T-Bird convertible every time. SC branched out into coleslaw with similar results.
He's currently looking into a BMW convertible to see if that will help reduce spoilage.
June 10th, 2011, 12:34 PM
E knows all about spoilage with those potato candlesticks. He uses butylated hydroxyanisole (BHA) as his preservative of choice, which he finds far superior to butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT).
I'm married to his third ex-wife
Was that Doreen or Agnes?
June 10th, 2011, 02:34 PM
During his days as a chemical engineer TGFM built a stairway to e-coli.
June 10th, 2011, 03:29 PM
"F-coli" is what Tutm says to e-coli.
June 10th, 2011, 03:34 PM
TUTM has a double helix staircase leading from his living room to the basement, where he has conducted his mutant mushroom experiments over the past 30 years.
Esaaal has developed an immunity to salmonella but it hasn't been easy. He has 6 toilets spread throughout his 5 room house.
June 10th, 2011, 07:23 PM
chez keeps hoping someone will post something unacceptable so he can finally use that Report link.
June 10th, 2011, 07:26 PM
Ear wax is formed by potato wax and tgfmike disputes this supposition of Christian Science.
June 10th, 2011, 08:27 PM
DD spreads unfounded rumors regularly about the potato industry. Everyone knows he has major investments in sugar beets.
TGFM, I'm married to Doreen. Agnes was your sixth wife.:shock:
June 10th, 2011, 10:44 PM
Spudcaster traded his Affinity Tele for a Stargazy pie and a bottle of Spitfire Ale.
June 10th, 2011, 11:35 PM
PC's only visits TDPRI as displacement activity to avoid speaking while consuming her favourite confectionery, giant "jawbreaker" gobstoppers.
June 11th, 2011, 01:50 AM
<no lie>The good old phantom page is back.</no lie>
rsg has been the grand champion three years straight in the All-Wales Proust Recitation Whilst Consuming A Gobstopper National Championship. His performance is awesome and a little frightening.
TGFM, I'm married to Doreen. Agnes was your sixth wife.
You're a lucky man. Doreen is a sweetheart.
June 11th, 2011, 02:15 AM
tgfm performs whenever the milk bottle is empty.
June 11th, 2011, 02:41 AM
TGFMike is in heavy training for his participation in the Culver Bloomsday Celebration on June 16. A long time fan of James Joyce, Mike will be reading his SoCal version of Ulysses at the local library. His book is titled "Dorothy" and follows a day on the MGM lot in 1940 during the shooting of the Wizard of Oz.
Mike has taken all his characters dialogue from posts in the liars thread using the following parallels.
Toto ... Chez (I get no lines at all)
Uncle Henry... Boblets
Aunty Em... Jim Pridx
Wicked Witch of West ... SimonC (he is from West Australia)
Glinda the Good Witch... Hoodie
Wizard... Penny Century
Munchkins... The assembled other liars all shrunk to half size
Sam Goldwyn will be a composite...... Eyerish and Spudcaster
The Ambassador from the Republic of Ireland is expected to attend Mike's reading...to make a formal protest.
< important instructions > TGFMike advises that any liar dissatisfied with their assigned character should please address their concerns and complaints to WTF Casting Inc. Poste Restante Emerald City Kansas USA < important instructions >
June 11th, 2011, 04:34 AM
When chez awoke from his feverish TDPRI dream, he realized he was a Lollipop Kid in an Oz-like fantasy world.
June 11th, 2011, 05:57 AM
Sorry Scatman. I know you have the Glinda costume. And yes you do look fabulous.
June 11th, 2011, 10:57 AM
The weather channel has chezdeluxe for therapy in 150 nations of the group of 8
June 11th, 2011, 12:12 PM
DOGMA tells his wife that his constant Tele buying is retail therapy necessary for attitude adjustment. Now she is asking for a doctor's note. His recent response is "i'll show you my doctor's note when you show me yours about buying so many shoes!"
June 11th, 2011, 01:58 PM
PC hasn't worn shoes since the early 80's. It sure does help with her traveling firewalking act.
June 11th, 2011, 02:26 PM
SPUDBASTER has ruined many a barbecue with his impromtu firewalking after one too many Lucky Lagers. Usually one of the nieces or nephews can be heard shouting " Mooom, Uncle Spuddys walking on the food again!"
June 11th, 2011, 05:01 PM
Jack Straw, for the next BBQ could you do better than your usual dumpster dive behind White Castle.
June 11th, 2011, 07:42 PM
Spud's plans for a food channel show on horrible dives, diners and dumpster snacks was thought to be too extreme even for cable.
June 11th, 2011, 07:54 PM
TUTM verified his above statement by running the idea by Cable himself.
As you can see by the reaction, he wasn't wrong:
June 11th, 2011, 10:08 PM
rsg hooked up this cable to his Bush TV22 in 1999 and he still can't get ITV4.
June 11th, 2011, 10:41 PM
TGFM thought if he hooked up his Monster cable to his TV set, he might actually get Monster Truck Races.
June 11th, 2011, 11:14 PM
telleutelleme is still hoping for those acid flashbacks
June 12th, 2011, 12:41 AM
donh has stocked up on vegemite because he heard there was a black market for half size jars.
June 12th, 2011, 01:12 AM
Boblets got a stiff neck after trying the UK version of vegemite, mightymite.
June 12th, 2011, 03:19 AM
RSG has a collection of Stiff Records, because "there ain't half been some clever b@stards".
June 12th, 2011, 03:37 AM
Penny has saved every floppy vinyl Guitar Player lesson recording because they make such lovely place mats for dinner parties.
June 12th, 2011, 04:47 AM
Boblets is not lying
June 12th, 2011, 06:23 AM
fenderpeet's bagphone get's him plenty of sympathy lattes at the local starbucks.
June 12th, 2011, 07:45 AM
Esaaal was originally cast for the lead role in Ferris Beullers' Day Off, but he came down with a heavy cold and couldn't get out of bed that day.
June 12th, 2011, 10:49 AM
HoodieMcFoodie was a redshirt on the original Star Trek series
June 12th, 2011, 11:02 AM
dondi's favorite guitar strap is made of dyed pink tribble hides.
June 12th, 2011, 12:38 PM
Three unidentified males jackstrawd a moving truck on the 406 this afternoon. Witness say they went east on the 406 and blocked traffic for several hours. Police still have no suspects.
June 12th, 2011, 01:13 PM
DD is done.
June 12th, 2011, 01:47 PM
TGFM thinks the movie "Liar Liar" is a documentary. Also thinks Dogma is part of Brooks and Dunn.
June 12th, 2011, 02:32 PM
Spudsy keeps searching for his entry in Burkes Peerage under the title "His most excellent supremeness Lord Giscard PommeLancer third duc of L'Oiseaublanc with no apparent success as of yet.
June 12th, 2011, 03:02 PM
Jack's connection to the nobility was discovered during his recent family history research.
Apparently he comes from a long line of footmen,which is strange because Jack is most definitely a T&A man.
June 12th, 2011, 04:30 PM
Each year, on the anniversary of joining this forum, Chez recieves a single red rose from an annonymous sender.
June 12th, 2011, 06:01 PM
Esaal's rose garden gets ever so slightly smaller each year.
June 12th, 2011, 06:20 PM
TUTM's roses are a hybridized variety of his own. Which sport funny little bumps on the swirly colored petals and smell strangely like frying fish,"with butter and garlic" he often notes.
June 12th, 2011, 07:37 PM
eyerish dunks his Oreos in Chablis
June 12th, 2011, 07:47 PM
HoodieMcFoodie was a redshirt on the original Star Trek series
Donh knows this because he was a witness when our away party beamed down to earth. I was critically wounded by one of your kind and left for dead. But a kind earthling called Dixie McCall came across me and took pity on me and nursed me back to health.
Donh just stood there and did nothing...
June 12th, 2011, 07:54 PM
Hoodie's nurse is Ms. Annie Wilkes. She calls him, "Mr. Man!" and he calls her "Leave me alone you crazy witch!"
Here's a snap of their last meeting where Ms Wilkes prepares Hoodie for a shave.
June 12th, 2011, 07:57 PM
Stop trying to put everything onto me. We all know this is a photo of you and Ms. Wilkes. She's saying, "Oh Esaaal, you're awake. Good. I have a little game I want to play."
June 12th, 2011, 08:28 PM
"Oh Esaaal, you're awake. Good. I have a little game I want to play."
My ankle has never been the same!
The last game that Hoodie played was "Operation" and he removed my wrenched ankle.
June 12th, 2011, 09:26 PM
Esaaal has complained to numerous consumer groups about the fact that he hasn't grown an inch despite replacing his bed with a stretcher last year.
June 12th, 2011, 10:51 PM
RSG invented the automatically-refilling beer can for Boddington's. Carlsberg is suing for infringement. Chez is suing on general principle.
June 12th, 2011, 10:54 PM
Penny has a new mantra to live by. "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck would chuck wood?"
June 13th, 2011, 01:13 AM
HoodieMcFoodie's stage name for his Alt-Punk band is Chuck A. Woodie.
June 13th, 2011, 01:23 AM
jp set me up for yet another phantom page trick. I do not find this annoying. No, not at all. Not a bit. No.
June 13th, 2011, 01:57 AM
Mike has the only tigers in all of Culver City.
June 13th, 2011, 02:02 AM
Chez is very jealous of the phantom's cool purple tights and striped speedos. You can hear him growling every time he sees this picture.
June 13th, 2011, 06:15 AM
Like the Phantom, eyerish also wears his underwear on the outside of his pants.
June 13th, 2011, 08:10 AM
Esaaal believes he'd have been a better Phantom than Billy Zane, and who could argue with that.
June 13th, 2011, 10:29 AM
HMcF believes he'd be a better Billy Zane than Billy Zane, which seems entirely likely.
June 13th, 2011, 11:31 AM
tgfmike knows what time it is.
June 13th, 2011, 01:18 PM
DD only knows what time it is when the ****** hits the fan.
June 13th, 2011, 01:54 PM
Jim P's tricorder is water resistant up to 30 fathoms.
June 13th, 2011, 02:06 PM
Esaaal threw his sink into the river.
June 13th, 2011, 04:16 PM
RSG can walk on water......but he can't chew gum at the same time.
June 13th, 2011, 04:18 PM
chez doesn't know how to spell cheese
June 13th, 2011, 04:37 PM
Direwolf is now in litigation with John Fogerty. Claims his Dad wrote "Born on the Bayou" and used to sing him to sleep at night with it as a lullaby.
June 13th, 2011, 07:50 PM
SPUDCASTER sports the best-fed moustache in Idaho and travels in his own private B-52.
June 13th, 2011, 07:53 PM
RSG wrote "Love Shack" for the B-52's.
June 13th, 2011, 07:57 PM
spudcaster is slow, spud had 27 days to bake beans. Spud slow cooked at 4 degrees for 15 days and let simmer at 2 degrees for 10 more days.
June 13th, 2011, 08:05 PM
DOGMATic eats his baked beans one at a time with a toothpick and thanks each bean personally for the sacrifice it is about to make.
June 13th, 2011, 08:16 PM
Jack is all beans talk and no beans action.
June 13th, 2011, 08:25 PM
Jack is all beans talk and no beans action.
<no lie>:lol:</no lie>
Chez has bean symptoms, much to the chagrin of the other boudoir occupant.
June 13th, 2011, 11:07 PM
redstringuitar wants a butterfly tattoo on his kneecap
June 13th, 2011, 11:51 PM
Don Jose has tan lines that finish 1 inch either side of his kneecaps. It's from wearing lederhosen all year round.
June 14th, 2011, 03:03 AM
Deluxe makes electric heaters in PA. With hand tools.
June 14th, 2011, 04:37 AM
DOGMA engages in heated arguments with his pocket warmer when its wick goes out.
June 14th, 2011, 05:58 AM
Boblets traded all his Pez dispensers in for Bobble Head Dolls. In fact, the first Bobble Head he saw he thought it was a "fully automatic" Pez dispenser.
June 14th, 2011, 07:58 AM
Esaaal cornered the market on Cabbage Patch Kids.
June 14th, 2011, 09:24 AM
Jackstraw invented the Cabbage Patch dolls. His fist attempt didn't go over so well as he used real cabbage for the heads. Kids complained about the smell. When asked what he was thinking he replied " Look at Mr. Potato Head". After he found out Mr. Potato Head was plastic things started going in the right direction. JS donated the five tons of cabbage to the local soup kitchen.
June 14th, 2011, 09:26 AM
Js stopped collecting Beanie Babies after he got the one named Guido.
June 14th, 2011, 10:30 AM
TUTM dresses up as a coolie every California Statehood Day.