Make up a lie about the poster above you!

PC likes to engage strangers in conversation and then respond to their first comment with "THAT'S A LIE!!!".

Road King has a strong affinity with Roger Miller

Hoodie's trailier is for sale or rent. His rooms let for 15 cents. No phone, no food, no pets. He attracts a really scurvy crowd that way.

Esaaal swings like a pendulum do, but he doesn't do bicycles.

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, his name is Boblets name too.

When JS wears his Zoot Suit he feels an uncontrolable urge to twirl his pocket watch.

Esaaal's latest how-to is Easy Guitar Solos In The Style Of Zoot Sims from Esaaal's Books and Stuff Ltd. There has been a remarkable level of interest and several sales.

T-Mike's Smart Car has racing stripes.

Esaaal's front door is a manhole cover.

RSG will tell that to young people today and they won't believe him.

Chez first tries his lies out on kids 5 and under. If they buy it, he posts them here. The disturbing thing is that there is a whole crowd of toddlers near Brisbane who know all about TGFMike, PennyCentury, JackStraw and Boblets.

All the children in Esaaal's neighborhood know him as the guy who colors the Easter eggs green and he makes them stay on the path in his back yard when searching.

tutm can never find the right order for his split infinitives because his past is full of participles.

Boblets is known as the Mr Rogers of his neighborhood because he wears a cardigan and talks to the kids as if they are all suffering from some kind of anxiety disorder.

As a kid, tutm was told all of the fire hydrants in his neighborhood were actually the tips of warheads on ICBM's buried in silos.

As a kid, JS was told that the tips of the ICBMs siloed in his neighborhood were actually fire hydrants.

As a kid Mike was told that the headwaters of Baloney Creek were way up in the Canadian Rockies. Later on Mike found out Baloney Creek was true to its name.

After tgfmike produced and directed SPUD and SPUD2-Pass the Gravy, he fell into a severe depression. He moved in with Charlie Sheen and all he can do now is make up lies about some very nice and sincere people that would love to help him through this time of trouble. Come home Mike, we love you! Guess I gotta get quicker to get in front of you Hooodster.:smile:

Spudcaster also butts in line at the movies.

Esaaal is a ticket scalper at Leonard Cohen concerts. He also does a special deal on pillows and blankets.

Pillows and Blankets just happens to be the name of Hoodie's new swing orchestra. H has given up guitar and is playing clarintet.

Mike, being the president of the local Audubon Society chapter, was seen leaving Hooter's at 2:30 AM. Claiming to be birdwatching, we uncovered that in fact he was on the trail of a flock of Double-Breasted Mattress Thrashers.

Spud has just walked away from a lucrative and illustrious career as a trombonist in a swing orchestra. He found it just too hard to hold the ropes, swing his legs and slide the slide. He's considering a move to a see-saw orchestra, but worries that the jarring may be bad for his embouchure.

Hoodie like to break up the monotony of riding an escalator by periodically shouting Pennsylvania 6-5000. That is actually Esaaal's mobile number and every time Hoodie does this, Esaaal starts getting Glenn Miller requests.

tutm is a linesman for the County.

Hoodie remembers when Anchor Blue was called Miller's Outpost.

Mike remembers when Riverwood was called Herne Bay, and Beverly Hills was called Dumbleton.

tgfm has the boxed collection of Mrs Miller's one hit wonders.

Boblets chased Richard Harris for three blocks to get his autograph on a copy of Macarthur Park, or the cake recipe, or both. "Richard Harris" turned out to be William Shatner, who was in town for a Trekkie convention. Shatner signed the record anyway.

William also signed Penny's left forearm.

Don Ho's motto is "Forearmed is Forewarned".

He remembers it fom a Popeye cartoon.

Chez doesn't say "extra virgin olive oil" because in her case, it goes without saying. Olive the cartoon character is such a vision of ugliness.

Penny uses Olive Oyl on her Telecaster neck, for that slick slidy desperate sound.

donh's name is actually do hn, which is Apalachee for Small Furry Thing.

donh, you've definately got that Drew Carey thing down pat!

Sorry Mike, I didn't see you there.

Ahem. Mike is a master of disguise.

When HMcF says he has a lowrider, he's refering to his jeans.

Esaaal got a basketball jones.

Ever since Hoodie was a little baby, he always be dribblin'

Having just heard the Reds beat the Waratahs and safe in the knowledge that Esaaal has no idea what I am talking about, Boblets can reveal the little known fact that Esaaal is too good a chin wiper to ever dribble.

Boblets always says, "It don't mean a thing, if it ain't got swing."

Bobbie has invited three of his primary school teachers to tea, Miss Hap, Miss Demeanour and Mrs.Thepointe.

JS and Hoodie have started a new Australian-American folk group called the Weebles. Most of the songs concern the hardships endured while canoeing across the Pacific from one country to the other. The 6243 km leg from Japan to Hawaii is especially arduous. The rest of the songs are cheerful upbeat tunes about how easy it is to collaborate via the internet.

Dr Mike refuses to travel in kilometres. He says miles are much shorter. Case in point Culver City to Palm Springs 170 kilometres....106 miles. Much more time for golf if Mike travels in miles.

Doc has just joined formed a new Bluegrass group but is having a hard time working the Telecaster in. He thought all Bluegrass featured Telecasters. In fact he has been quite specific to his bandmates that as far as he is concerned a Telecaster will be part of the group. He has however conceded to wearing a checkered shirt.

tutm recently purchased a small amount of authentic Irish sod on the internet that came with instructions to install with the brown side down.

While JackStraw can identify authentic Irish sod, his knowledge of other turf is limited; His front lawn is actually made of green carpet. Oops!

Batman was seen renting an Easter Bunny outfit. Six months ago.

Spudcaster bought a Christmas tree in January. Said he got it in the sale.

Batman became so disgruntled after his bad experience with his Easter Bunny outfit he decided to buy a brand spankin' new Playboy Bunny outfit. Of course, he's no longer the macho superhero he once was, but he's still quite content with his new image just the same.

JP blew a few dates in his younger days asking the girls if they would do a Bunny Dip for a $2.00 tip. Bman however PM'd JP and said "show me the money".

tutm likes to eat dates because he says they give him a ribald fundamental orifice.

JP blew a few dates in his younger days ...

Must...resist...temptation ...to....respond.....Must....resist....

Boblets couldn't give a fig about dates.

Chez just got back from the produce store with a packet of 31 dates. He's assembling them onto the back page of his calendar, to create a new month he's calling "Datecember"

When Chez sings "please bring me some figgy pudding, please bring me some figgy pudding, please bring me some figgy pudding and bring it right here" he means it.

Esaaal push pineapple, shake the tree.

Hoodie was seen earlier today racing towards Stonehenge for the annual Easter egg hunt and other Pagan delights. Of course he was in his rabbit suit.

In order to get more candy for himself, Spud wears this to Easter Egg hunts.

^^^ Esaaal's attire when he feels like going out and chasing one of the neighborhood dogs.

http://www.tdpri.com/forum/attachments/epic-threads/81210d1303655268-make-up-lie-about-poster-above-you-images-jpg

^^ JS's attire when he feels like going out and being chased by one of the neighborhood dogs.

http://www.tdpri.com/forum/attachments/epic-threads/81210d1303655268-make-up-lie-about-poster-above-you-images-jpg

^^ The dish Dr Mike complained about being served as the "Easter Special" at his local Chinese restaurant.

"That never came out of an egg", he protested.

Redstrings kids are always complaining that he doesn't boil the eggs before he colors them.

somehow, Spudcaster is able to dye his eggs plaid.....

E emblazons his eggs with the family coat of arms delicately traced with an Ostrich feather quill and India ink with his personal inscription "Dudus Maximus".

somehow, Spudcaster is able to dye his eggs plaid.....

It's a gift:wink:
Due to the downturn in the economy, Jack Straw has been forced to use the same eggs for the last three years. Becareful with those eggs kids!

SPUDCASTER fly fishes the Wildhorse river using a Mayfly delicately carved from the eye of a Russet potato.

JS ties real flies. He uses silk thread and binds their little legs, puts them in tiny cement boots and drops them in the creek. He hasn't caught anything but no one is telling.

TUTM's silk pyjamas are the talk of all the ladies in the PTA.

Chez butters his bread on the bottom side.

Yellowbeard declined his invitation to the Royal Wedding. Claims he's already kissed the bride.

Actually Spud absconded with my invitation in hopes he could make good on his lifelong dream of kissing a prince and turning him into a frog.

Yellowbeard sells apples at the roadside

Better than donh who sells roadapples on the side.

Yellowbeard sells apples at the roadside

donny's entry in this summer's Dylan Thomas Poetry Smackdown in Cardiff.

JackStraw has launched a line of signature comfy Cardigans with elbow patches as well as a tiny pocket to hold picks. He calls it a pickpocket.

An Irish Rover, PC often leaves the leftover oil buckets behind Motel 6's; which she feels is woefully overpriced and has also been known to profile her relatives.

TTME is afflicted with the horrid condition known, in laymens terms, as "washboard nipples"

While most call his Osgood Schlatter's disease, Surfer's Knots, Yellowbeard prefers the traditional and more correct Housemaid's Knee.

tutm? I fear that it's all been said about him.

And as for the poster below me, unknown soul:

(S)he had to leave his last job due to illness. His boss got sick of him.

(S)he hardly touches the stuff - it only takes one drink to get him drunk. Which one was it - the 15th? The 16th?

(S)he has a great motto: If at first you don't succeed, maybe skydiving isn't for you.

(S)he has a photographic memory. Unfortunately, there's no film in it.

(S)he has a really low opinion of others. He considers them equals.

(S)he has a speech impediment - his foot.

(S)he has a Titanic intellect. It sank the first time out.

(S)he has a very noble purpose in life - to serve as a warning to others.

(S)he has an answer for everything... the wrong one.

PC has just completed the 4-year course in prescience at the Joseph Van Praagh School of Psychic Science. Her post above was her final exam.

tgfm sees visions splendid after imbibing in blackberry nip, his favourite tipple.

Gimme a dozen of the red ones, and go easy on the acetate.

Boblets favourite afternoon snack is SPAM and a schooner of glycol with a dash of printers ink.

chez loves the smell of Methyl Ethyl Keytone in the morning.

Whenever chez or hoodie see Bangalore spammers they put on their Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs cassettes. Little Red Riding Hood has nothing on them.

Boblets actually prefers "Little Red Riding Hood" as performed my the fabulous Zarsoff Brothers

Matiworld actually expects people to click his link.

Esaaal didn't report Matiworld because he's a distant cousin on his mothers' side.

Hoodie has distant cousins on his mother's dressmaker's milliner's side called Cobblers.

<No Lie>My Grandfather on my fathers' side was a milliner<No Lie>

Chez has been researching my family history on ancestry.com. I'll leave it up to him to tell what he's found.

hoodie collects used q tips

nd came up with an improved q-tip that he calls the t-tip. He skipped r and s because his improvement is so great it's three steps beyond the old q-tip.

T-Mike used his vast marketing skills for his invention of Q-Tip Magnums.

Esaaal is having a hard time finding investors for his salad on a stick chain.

Spudcaster has a pornographic memory!

Spudcaster has the world's largest collection of potato encased amplifiers. It has to be large says the spudmeister...cause they're biodegradable.

Road King recently found out (the hard way), that two hours of pushin broom buys a eight by twelve four bit room.

The word on the street is yellowbeard isn't a natural blonde.

Despite lowering mileage between engine oil changes, business at JS's Southern New Jersey Fried Chicken Diner is still slack.

rsg thought about putting fried chicken stands on the Goodyear blimps. It didn't work out as the price of having such a concession on one of the blimps is US$2.6 million per year. rsg settled for opening a single Authentic Welsh Fried Chicken stand in Rhayader.

When ordering chicken ,t mike always insists on certified Welsh.As usual he's on to something no one else is aware of. Watch and learn.

JS was once again discovered wandering the Pine Barrens, dressed in a jockstrap and a pair of large clown shoes, equipped with nothing but a small box of fried chicken gizzards and a bottle of Crystal Hot Sauce.

yellowbeard wears his jockstrap on the outside because it matches his cape.

Bands at Boblets' Country Bunker play both kinds of music, Country *and* Western.

Penny has also found a rather "unorthodox" use for a box of fried chicken gizzards and a bottle of Crystal hot sauce.

PC's real name is Abigail Cornwinkle and she is the star of Saturday nights at Barney's Mercantile and Feed.

And YellowBeard plays the washtub bass right beside her.

RK plays only double bass and scorns anyone who would sacrifice a washtub for bottom end purposes.

"Dirty bar-stewards", he quips.

RSG finally acquired a 16th century saw and will start doing traditional Celtic covers immediately.

tutm knits traditional Celtic coverlets and doilies to order.

TUTM's tongue got sore while he was wearing his 16th century suit of armour...as he stuck it out at a group of giggling girls, the visor dropped...

JS knits hats for nits:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQE7QHuRcKS_f4OqeKs8XBHvD2sklAon 2lVKwoNYRYcwKFRBkKh

RSG knits knats knickers in small, smaller and exceedingly tiny.

<No Lie>^^:lol:^^...we call 'em gnats over here, but I appreciate poetic license!<No Lie>

TUTM got knatty knackers from Knatalie at the waxing salon.

RSG once dated Natalie at the waxing salon for free waxing. His preference, Carnuba.

Esaaal dated Natalie circa 1975, whereas I could tell from her rings that she was older.

While I favoured Carnuba waxing, Esaaal plumped for the Carbonara bath.

rsg's solution for ear wax buildup is to thread a candle wick in his left ear , out the right ear and light both ends.

When JackStraw reads about Carbonara and lit candles he waxes for Mexican food.

Esaaal is a long time student of Mr. Myagi. Wax on, wax off...

Hoodie was dismayed to find Madame Tussauds completely wickless.

"You'll be stuffed if there's ever a power cut", he told Bruno Hauptmann.

rsg had to burn the candle at both ends for several hours to come up with that little wax museum riff above.

When stealing babies or planes, RSG often thinks of Bruno.

Doc Mike always starts the candle burning in the middle. He believes in equal time for both sides. It's a West Coast trait.

Tutm spends his weekends filling in for George, Keith and Jimi at Madame Tussaud's in the Hall of Rock and Roll when the regulars are out for cleaning.

Esaaal spends his weekends fiddling around with this and fiddling around with that, but in the end he gets absolutely nothing accomplished. He will tell you, though, that he's become a very accomplished fiddler.

Look for JimP in his off off off Broadway show "Telecaster On The Roof" . In act 2 Jim sings and plays this song with skill and feeling!


If I were a tele man,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd twiddle diddle twang.
If I were a tele man.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy rich,
Yidle-diddle-twangy tele man.

Esaaal is looking for a banjo plinkin' partner for his Nat King Cole-Stubby Kaye tribute show. So far there is only one song in the repertoire but it's a beauty.

YbNhX6h37jU&feature=related

Esaaal has gone "back to nature", and is currently making his own guitar strings using birch bark. (he also makes a real mean canoe)

When yb makes a canoe, it's always very kind and considerate.

Dr Mike can't make a canoe but he can make a tent.

Chezdeluxe has been burned one too many times by aborigine guitar dealers.

Old Yeller thinks ash burns a little brighter than alder.

Chez dropped his teeth inside his MARTIN 00-18 yesterday. He's been hoping to rescue them before the steaks are done.

Yellowbeard is currently trying to determine how a piece of alder can be converted from a solid to liquid form and then, to a gaseous state and then bottled under pressure as an air freshener.

JS is still trying to figure out if he should rear rout this one.

Following successful brain surgery Yellowbeard was told he had 1952 written in pencil in his neck pocket.

telleme performed above said brain surgery, was paid in full, and now I have found there are traces of baloney sandwich left in a bad place.

Yellowbeard's Dutch nemesis is "Grote hond", a notorious leg cocker who uses human beings as Plimsoll lines along the Amsterdam tow paths.

RSG writes his lies in plain King's English, but verbalizes his insults in Ibbish.

PC is the Cheryl Cole of the lie thread.

RSG has a boil the size of Manhattan Island firing up his inner thigh.

Yellowbeard's boiled chicken thighs once inspired a Colonel.

RSG's chicken wings once inspired a pro wrestler.

Esaaal and Hulk Hogan went to highschool together. It was the best 10 years of their lives.

Spudcaster still gives wrist corsages on his first dates.

TUTM permits his dates to pin their own corsages to their gown, since the debacle of 1972.

When Penny asked the store clerk what people do with their hidious prom gowns after the dance...she was told "most hem them up and make them into party dresses". Some years later Penny is still searching for a party where modified old prom dresses are considered suitable attire.

vtcyclist rides a tricycle.

BBB rides the tramps he's taken the pee out of.

RSG has refused many a ride.

Always on the grounds of occupational health and safety.

chez always takes the high road due to a phobia about falling off the bonnie bonnie banks into Loch Lomond.

No matter if you take the high road or the low road, you'll be there before Boblets.

Esaaal did the Hokey Pokey from Scranton to Wilkes Barre once to raise money to have the pot holes on the high road patched and to replace the highway signs that he suspects tgfm nicked for his collection.

JackStraw visited the UK recently and walked from Land's End to John O'Groats using only lollypop steps.

That's heel touching toe touching heel touching toe etc. in case you didn't know.

Hoodie has various dance steps painted on his floor. He'll Samba to the front door, Paso Doble to the porch and Waltz back to the kitchen. After eating too many burritos he'll Quickstep to the bathroom!

Esaaal's hurried exit to the bathroom is more of a rumba.

When Mike hears the doorbell, he quickly puts a rose between his teeth, grabs his missus and tangoes to the door, spinning her out along his arm with just enough reach for her to open the door, then she twirls back into his arms. It scared the bejesus out of the pizza guy the first time, now he's used to it.

Hoodie is a star on Dancing like the Irish, a new reality show in the UK. Hoodie; while admitting he dislikes the repetitive music appears to be a natural born clogger.

Tutm emailed me and wished me a Happy Administrative Professionals Day and is sending a Gift Certificate to Olive Garden.

After the big grease fire, Esaaal was asked to leave the Olive Garden cooking school.

Spud is famous for his haute cuisine. In fact on the Gastronomique forum he is known as La pomme de terre-caster.

ChezDeluxe is world famous for his wallaby hamburgers resplendent with crock bacon from ayers rock. To die for in the way out back parts of new Zealand. :)

Give me a quart of steinlager with that please.

Frankg11 performs gangsta rap cover versions of Frank Zappa tunes.

Fan favorites include :

My ghetto blaster wants to kill your mama
Breakdancin' fool

and their absolute #1 song that brings the house down every time is their rendition of "Bobby Brown goes down" to the tune of "every little step" by that most badass of all gangsta rappers himself, Bobby Brown.

simonc loves to eat periwinkles - goodness knows why.

simonc loves to eat periwinkles - goodness knows why.

because bob lets me eat them.
Meanwhile he is a conch man himself...well, secretly he's developing a new product " I cant believe its not conch ". 8 out of 10 Caucasians cant tell the difference, but the real test will be with Caicosians.

When SimonC goes clam digging he wears the boots on his hands so his mouth is closer to the food.

Esaaals' boots were made for walking, and that's just what they'll do. Little does he realise that's what all boots were made for. The whole footware thing just confuses him.

When he outgrew his last pair of Buster Browns ,Hoodie decided to forget the whole shoe thing and just wrap his feet in Saran wrap.

JS just wears tube socks, sans shoes.

"No shirt, no shoes, get service" posted outside Doc's favorite massage parlour

"Liars tank shirts, high-heels, open for service" is TUTM's motto statement for his local adult lingerie and peep show business.

Jim P doesn't go in for tank shirts and high heels much but he does look fabulous in pink chiffon.

Mr. Gallagher digs the "Elvis-circa-1956-in-gold-lamé-suit-with-Carmen-Miranda-fruit-hat" look--particularly when attending ribbon-cutting ceremonies at supermarket and coin-operated carwash grand openings throughout the Greater North Ridgeville area.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a296/DimeIV/JGElvisCM.jpg

Joel left his computer to get a cold Fresca the last time he posted on the liars thread and that's the last thing he remembers.

When Joel says "I'll eat my hat !" He means it.

So far he has consumed 4 Fedoras,2 Panamas,3 Derbys and a Pith Helmet he swiped from Johnny Weismuller on the set of Jungle Jim.

JackStraw tried to eat a Panama once but somehow it seemed like cannibalism.

< no lie > Our friend Esaaal is having some major oral surgery today. All the best mate. < no lie >

chez is the mastermind behind the phantom next page illusion here at tdpri. When his page tracking system shows one of us going around in a loop, chez chuckles quietly to himself and whispers, "Poor sap."

tgfmike's real name is Susan.

BBB likes to end his shows with an up tempo version of "I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK".

Road King was a stunt double for Chuck Norris on "Walker, Texas Ranger".

Spud originated the first Chuck Norris joke and has been on the run ever since.

TUTM treats his guitars same as his cattle...one hot iron and a whole lotta grass.

RSg has redone his cottage's roof in Wattles imported from Iberia.

RSg has redone his cottage's roof in Wattles imported from Iberia.

Not really....she was from Kent and smelled real good....how was I to know?

PC has been looking for parrot recipes since Axl Rose came to tea.

rsg thinks a recipe for a great evening is a lovely pot of tea.

Not really....she was from Kent and smelled real good....how was I to know?

PC has been looking for parrot recipes since Axl Rose came to tea.

I have six birds (ranging in size from Spanish Timbrado to Maui Sunset Macaw) and they are all very much alive, thank you, and not at all candidates for culinary conversion.

Although when Ozzy visited he looked quite peckish so in lieu of Dove's heads, we fed him Peeps.

Red String, on the other fist, always serves his company Quality Street choccies, after he's removed all of "the purple ones".

My pal "Longwood" here loves Rhode Island Red almost as much as PC does but he doesn't care a wit about plate presentation. If Penny's food isn't presented properly, she'll send it back.

My pal "Longwood" here loves Rhode Island Red almost as much as PC does but he doesn't care a wit about plate presentation. If Penny's food isn't presented properly, she'll send it back.

Esaaal lets his mate "Longwood" sit on his shoulder all the tmie because he believes that if a bird defaecates on you it's good luck.

<no Lie> Where'd you get a cockatiel from in Pennsylvania? </no lie>

<no lie> Cockatiels are pretty common pets here. Longwood was found flying free in Longwood Gardens, a famous aboretum near me. Friends had him for a few years and then he came to live with me. I've had him for at least 10 years. We don't know how old he is but he could be 20 years old. He really does love chicken meat! <no lie>

[QUOTE][Esaaal lets his mate "Longwood" sit on his shoulder all the time because he believes that if a bird defaecates on you it's good luck./QUOTE]

Hoodie believes the same thing I do, except he has a pet Elephant. "Stampy" brings good luck to the whole house!

Esaaal carefully refrained from any budgie smuggler references in his post about Hoodie, although the temptation was great.

After reading about the early mining industry, The Doc keeps a Parakeet in the bathroom just in case.

Since the unidentical Kirn twins came to stay at Hacienda del Houston TUTM has been practicing non stop. This month's song is "My canary has circles under his eyes"

Bothered by having to give directions to anyone Chez has adopted a standard answer to any such question. In his most annoying vocal tone he just says "Follow the Yellow Brick Road".

Road King drove all the way to London, Texas to find out the Royal Wedding was in London, England.

Whenever SC does a country gig, he just plays All My Exes Live In Texas and Family Tradition over and over. At the end of the night, when everyone is stomping and whistling and calling for an encore, SC finally plays Friends In Low Places. If they call for a second encore, and they always do, he does an awesome high-lonesome version of Kaw-Liga.

tgfmike has shiny hair, curly teeth and he walks with a lisp.

:mrgreen:

BBB will not drink Twinings tea because of his fear that his teeth will lose their edge.

Boblets adds ground pumice stone to the pot to prevent tooth and gut stains.

RSG can floss with a rope.

<no lie> I promised no dental jokes<no lie/>

While healing Esaaal has been busy making little toe pillows out of his Belly Button lint. He plans on giving them away as gifts next Christmas.

When someone presses tutm's belly button, he responds with a random choice from six phrases:

Oh my.
Don't, that tickles.
Can we be friends?
That's my belly button.
I think it's nap time.
Do that again.

tgfm, a postmodernist before his time, was born with a belly zipper.

Harvey Lembeck based his character "Eric Von Zipper" on Boblets after seeing B cruise the Hollywood Strip and fall off his Indian whenever he came to a red light.

JS gained some notoriety for originating the phrase "Zip it buddy". When asked he will give you an autographed button.

When someone presses tutm's belly button, he responds with a random choice from six phrases:

Oh my.
Don't, that tickles.
Can we be friends?
That's my belly button.
I think it's nap time.
Do that again.

<no lie> :lol::lol::lol: <no lie/>

He's been down since he began to crawl,
If it wasn't for bad luck, Telleutelleme wouldn't have no luck at all...

Born under a bad sign... etc.

:wink:

BBB is still trying to play a 12 bar A minor blues scale on the spoons.

Esaaal played "Mark", Chuck Conners son on "The Rifleman".

Spudcaster is still looking for tuber compatible nitrocellulose lacquer...

Batman, when you're done cooking breakfust and cleaning the kitchen, go wash the cars. :cool:

Batman is considering dropping music to sell knock off wedding dresses in China.

Strat is going to fund him.

tutm is inventing a cure for dandelions

donh is launching a new product for men called "Dandy Loins".

RSG's latest loin fragrance is a special extract derived from Bristol Channel fisheries and called "Cod Fresh"

"Betty Swollocks" is the brand Chez markets his deodorant range under.

Japanese scientists recently posted video footage of a juvenile Giant Squid that later proved to be rsg diving for sponges to sell as contraceptives on the French black market.

JS is silently buying up mineral rights in the Trenton Black River Play. He also dives it frequently to check on the hesitant sellers.

tutm has infected my iPad with a virus that generates an electrical field at just the right frequency to rob me of my lying powers. That must be it - 'cause I've got nothin'.

tgfmike feeds squirrels to nuts

Don Ho was head seal keeper at Marineland until he was found padding his sardine account.

Chez is selling cans of Telecaster Twang to unsuspecting visiting marsupials.

When the pyramid scheme failed to work out, Penny fired up the Stonehenge scheme!

After replacing the driver's seat in his car with a revolving office chair, donh dispensed with the redundant reverse gear.

Redstringuitar will only drink brown booze.

tRnmp6c4hyA

To serve the interests of something completely different, BBB was spotted uptown in Brooklyn practicing his Richard Gere moves. Something to do with a yearning to be recognised as one of Brooklyn's finest.

Boblets has been graffiti-ing "Trink Coca-Cola eiskalt" on fences and sidewalks to bump up trade for his Asian Fusion Wasabi Hot Dog pushcart.

Penny taught Bear Grylls how to cook in the outdoors.

Esaaal is George Foreman's silent business partner.

JS is Donald Trump's hair stylist.

Esaaal knows where Donald Trump's birth certificate is... (oops!)

BBB is trawling the streets of Brooklyn for an interior designer.

rsg paints his bottom with anti fouling paint to avoid barnacle encrustation.

JS has invented an automatic restringing tool!!

Don Ho counts clouds.

His favourite method is to lie in a hammock and drink beer while figuring out where one cloud ends and another begins.

At the end of the day he phones the results through to the Weather Channel where the information is recorded in a notebook by the 10th Grade work experience kid.

chez has reproduced a scale model of Leonardo Da Vinci's cloud making machine. When the handle is cranked, little puffs of water vapor form into miniature Cumulus clouds to the delight of everyone present.

Jack Straw in his stage outfit...

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/12/07/article-0-02ADEDAA000005DC-743_233x355.jpg

No really, it is!

Chez likes theme restuarants advertised by Australians with lousy English accents.

JS likes English restuarants were the waiters have American accents but are actually Austrian.

BBB met a German girl in England who was going to school in France and they danced in Mississippi at her Alpha Kappa dance.

Esaaal could have danced all night, but eventually the pills wore off.

Tutm favorite accent is Mauve.

Esaaal speaks in tongue and groove.

tutm does a solo Three Stooges stage act and is black and blue, partially blind and missing a large amount of hair by the end of the first set.

TUTM's best selling product is Jumpin' Jack Flash.

During the summer months, JS gets invited to a lot of weddings.

It's to keep the flies off the bride.

JackStraw has fallen off the wagon yet again, and has been wandering the local WAWA parking lot asking for "spare pocket lint".

Yellowbeard has been using Ms Clarol products for years to hide his Greybeard.

WDP (or WTF as he is usually called) could never guess which twin had the Toni.

http://www.old-time.com/commercials/1940's/Ad%20Toni%20Home%20Permanent%202.jpg

WDP (or WTF as he is usually called) could never guess which twin had the Toni.

http://www.old-time.com/commercials/1940's/Ad%20Toni%20Home%20Permanent%202.jpg

Chez has been carrying on a torrid affair with both Toni twins, unfortunately the twins have since been renamed Teensy and Eentsy.

Yellowbeard always celebrates "Talk Like A Pirate" Day.

PC has in fact been waffling over a name change for herself..."I like Teensy..., but then Eentsy is nice too"

yellowbeard takes a horse brush to his beard every second Thursday to remove any itsy bitsy spiders that have taken residence.

Boblets always wears canvas so the aklop dashes show through.

RSG's teeth chatter in Morse Code.

Esaaal is Betty Whites' wingman.

Hoodie was Colonel Sander's Aide de Camp.

JackStraw was Tiger Woods' caddy

HMcF is Tiger Wood's, Caddy's personal assistant.