Make up a lie about the poster above you!

VTC is paid by pharmaceutical companies to handwrite their disclaimers on a microdot. He's so skilled at it that, despite the space limitations, he manages to still write the disclaimers in calligraphy.

Spiky is the guy that reads all the warniings at the end of drug commercials. He is really fast and can easily switch to an American accent when pronouning Latin root words or those drug companies' made-up names. As long as they don't make up a drug named Jaguar or schedule, he's got a career on US TV.

TUTM uses the British pronunciation for Al-U-Men-E-Uum

vtcyclist administers his lies by weight not volume. Lies may settle in transit. Store on a cool dry place. Batteries not included.

Hoodie has spent this fine Australia Day (January 26) eating sushi and listening to Puccini.

chez eats sushi, but he calls it fish and white.

After a bad experience in Long Beach, T-Mike tends to avoid Sushi

hman had a bad experience with the same Long Beach Sushi. He moved to Kansas City to avoid her.

tgfm was asked to leave a Long Beach sushi bar for searing fish with a butane torch..."I'm only playing it safe", he protested.

RSG was told he needed to improve his chops, or in no uncertain words "fish or cut bait dude". He immediately applied at Benihana's as an apprentice.

TUTM can't understand why you can have fish steaks but not fish chops.

The only the Deluxe about Chez is his lactose intolerance. :shock:

When TVC hears the words noodling, he immediately goes for the flippers and mask. This often results from confused conversations with his bandmates.

zOjA8Puh1BM

<no lie> Welcome to the liar's Thread TVC </no lie>

tvc goes by the name 'Diplomystes viedmensis' on the Les Paul forum.

tutm goes by 'Ursus americanus' on the sushi forums.

with 53 posts, Tgfm has reached the "Professor of Awesomeness" status on the Schecter forum.

12 posts on the re-building slant-6 dodge engines thread and Esaaal is mechanic of the month. He's also the moderator, web admin, sticky writer and so far the only one to post. PC is thinking about commenting on using aftermarket lifters.

With an amazing 400 posts on the "A Tiskit A Tasket a Green and Yellow Basket" forum Tutm is picknic'r of the week.

TUTM can't give up on Oldsmobiles in the 442 forum. He's arguing now about the superiority of the Hurst Special Editions and why they outclass the Buick GS.

As far as aftermarket lifters, my only superficial knowledge is gleaned from my Uncle Phil and Google but not in that order. He once burned out the hydramatic on his Star Chief trying to pull out a rhododendron bush roots.

PennyCentury has spent a lifetime trying to learn how to get her Nash Rambler out of second gear. Beep Beep.

Boblets sits in his easy chair within the cozy confines of his fireplace heated living room and sings Robert Johnson's "Ramblin' On My Mind"..

..but has no intention of going anywhere.

Whenever SMan hears talk about Nash, he's always reminded of this:

Always Marry An April Girl

Praise the spells and bless the charms,
I found April in my arms.
April golden, April cloudy,
Gracious, cruel, tender, rowdy;
April soft in flowered languor,
April cold with sudden anger,
Ever changing, ever true --
I love April, I love you.

Dr Mike got booted from the gaiaonline.com forums for not posting enough.

Hoodie has the title role in the Canberra Repertory Theater production of "Jason And The Argonauts" premiering May 1st and running through May 2nd ,hopefully.

HoodieMcFoodie was in the finals for the hugely popular McDonalds mascot contest. McFoodie looked to be the overall winner, until he casually mentioned to Ronald McDonald: "I am a vegetarian and don't really like fast food, although I do like somewhat-fast women". In a desperate move to win the contest, the nefarious McDonald made it know that McFoodie was not the fun innocent clown he appeared to be.


oops: :oops::oops: Took to long to answer. The name response does not quite have the same ring with JackStraw.

vtc and JS have organized a Hootenanny in Lowell MA on February 8. Unfortunately, I will not be able to make it.

TGFM fails to inform that the reason he will not be attending the Hootenanny is he is in the pairs competition at the Pismo Beach Seniors Surf Classic. He and Earnie, his life long surf buddy have finally managed to complete a lift, now that Earnie lost 125lbs watching Biggest Loser on TV. TGFM missed several past classics due to back issues resulting from training. TGFM now says "Cowabunga dude, I'm stoked".

Hoodie McFoodie is the subject of a biographical film called Napoleon Dynamite. Unfortunately he got screwed out of his royalties.

tutm and LCR have been rehearsing their art performance piece, 'Wipeout Redux', which consists of 30 minutes of tutm singing 'buh buh-da buh-da buh-da buh-da buh-da buh' to the tune of Wipeout, with LCR adding 'Wipeout' and a manical laugh at random moments, while both mime surfing. There will be a one-time-only performance April 3 at the Coors plant in Golden Colorado. Admission is free.

tgfm always gets frustrated when he plays Wipeout because he only knows it in A and the silly drummers always want to play it in Bb.

Boblets refers to the snow boots he bought in Budpest at "Hungarian Galoshes"

Esaaal is jealous that Boblets HAS snow boots. It's been a tough winter in PA. At least his Chuck T's are high top.

Hollowman knows that the bird is the word.

Hollowman is jealous that JS has a wood stove. Unfortunately, it is made of maple and only burns for one hour.

Penny likes Maple Syrup on her flapjacks, but Oak Syrup or Beech Syrup not so much. She once tried Sycamore Syrup, and it tasted ok, but she fell into trance for 3 days and she woke up in Abenaki Tower shivering and hungry.

As a youngster Esaaal passed the entrance exam to become a lion tamer. Then be became a bus conductor.

(Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction)

Boblets is the guy who trained that british Gorilla to walk on his hind legs. He did this by repeatedly playing Frankie Valli's "Walk Like A Man" over the zoo's PA system.

Hoodie once invited a gorilla to walk on his hind legs, but the animal declined indicating that it wouldn't go that far for one measly banana.

rsg has been studying gorilla language. So far all he's learned is 5 swear words.

tgfm learned the longest word in the gorilla vocabulary, hnggggggggggggggggggggggg, and then visited the zoo to try it out.

A worried family on a day trip reported to zoo officials that a gentleman appeared to be having a stroke at the gorilla pen.

"I wasn't having a stroke", exclaimed an indignant Dr Mike to attending medics, "my arms are nowhere near long enough...I was having a chat!"

RSG likes to talk to the animals, just imagine it, chatting with a chimp in chimpanzee.

His buddies figure he's better at it than Dr. Doolittle so the call him Professor Doosomething.

Esaaal talks to Manatees, although he finds it tough to finish a sentence since he has to keep coming up for air

Hollowman has champagne wishes and caviar dreams. He also has deviled ham thoughts and rutabega nightmares.

E's favorite meal is green eggs and ham. He does the eggs with vegetable dye and gets a fantastic deal on green ham from his local market although he has to buy it out back from a guy on the loading dock.

If JS ran the zoo, he'd make a few changes, that's just what he'd do.

The last time T-Mike tried to sneak into the zoo, things didn't go as planned.

Esaaal applied to be a helper at the zoo. They asked him to clean up the wild bird aviary. He stormed off muttering, "If I wanted to do that I could move back to the park".

<no lie> RSG - #14786 was seriously funny </no lie>

tutm came to Houston in 1978 from Canada to escape the cold. Actually he went to Austin first where he was considered persona non grata after the 206th time he ended a sentence with 'eh'. He then spent 3 weeks in an accent reduction course and now ends all of his sentences with 'eh, pardner'.

T-Mike is a terrible sponge for accents. after spending a month among the Manatees, nobody in Fullerton could understand his accent.

At this very hour, when all sober northern hemisphereans are safely tucked up in bed, a cardboard replica of the person formerly known as PC has gathered the herd of dugongs and is putting them through some rather vigorous "accentuate the positive" exercises. Mr In-Between is nowhere to be seen.

Boblets has been training a harem of seals in the outback (sans tents).

SMan was once the reserve backup singer for Seals and Crofts.

Scatman sits in a pumpkin patch every halloween night and waits for the Great Manatee to appear.

JS has been busking in front of Pizzaland. Once in a while the owner Al tosses him a few slices to move down the block.

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/6307/pizzaland.jpg

JS has been busking in front of Pizzaland. Once in a while the owner Al tosses him a few slices to move down the block.

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/6307/pizzaland.jpg


<no lie>I actually hit the play button...DOH!!</no lie>

PC entered the premises demanding to see where exactly the pizzas land.

RSG has developed a fish and chips pizza that is taking Whales by storm. After them, he'll try Manatees, then the Liar's and finally a select number of humans.

Next Thanksgiving Tutm will use 450 gallons of peanut oil to deep fry his Manatee. His neighbors predict a huge fire.

Tutm uses only select extra virgin peanut oil as you can cook with higher temps and generate less smoke.

Esaaal will be leading the PETA picket line outside TUTM's Houston compound for the upcoming Thanksgiving celebration. The contention is that Manatee meat is not sustainable for consumption. TUTM claims that he will actually be using Manatcfu, a vegan simulacrum in the shape of a Manatee. The fact that PETA is willing to picket a Manatee barbecue contrdicts the popular opinion that vegans are only interested in defending animals they consider to be cute.

Penny's latest brainstorm is faux manatee tele pickguards. The proceeds from all sales will be contributed to the Manatee Habitat Preservation Society, New Hampshire branch.

tgf has a well cared for pet manatee named Hue in a tank in his back yard, yet he sometimes swats bothersome flies.

Because of this, he has been unjustly labeled a specist.

scatman has a pet cactus called spike

hoodie gets in the cactus every time he goes out with the boys.

Bob lets the side down by bringing his missus on a boys night out.

Boys night out came so infrequently for Hoodie, the second one was called Guy's night out and the third will be Senior's night out.

Every time tutm wants a boys' night out, Mrs tm says, "Don't you have lunch with the guys every Friday? Just wear sunglasses next time."

tgfm was blinded by science in the 80's.

JackStraw believes that tire scientists designed his tires in such a way that the flat is always on the bottom, never on the top.

Speaking of flat tops, VTC sports one for the four freshman segment of his set. He always ends with See You in September; which is when he usually gets it cut.

tutm insisted on going the whole hog with his flat top and now has a Martin D-28 neck protruding from his forehead.

RSG started with a spike, then a flat top in two-tone, then a blonde Mohawk and finally the full Who's Your Daddy Telly Savalas makeover.

RedString has written 5 books on whole hog roasting. His specialty is slow roasted flat top hogs raised free range, organic, that were serenaded nightly by cowboys playing Martin d-28s being paid sustainable wages. His next book will delve into the almost unknown roasted whole woodchuck.

VTC is the real story behind the "Hey You Woodchucks, quit chuckin my wood" commercial. He breeds them to do that hoping to get in the Guiness book of world records. No entry so far, so he's got a shot.

<nolie> I love that commercial </nolie>

TUTM is in the record book for reciting "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, If a woodchuck could chuck wood" more times in 24 hours than even the famous Evelin Woodchuck Speed reciting class.

vtc believes every single scrap of wood, no matter how small, is precious and gets very upset when he sees any of it being chucked.

Dr mike is building his first partscaster, out of medical grade ear cleaners and tongue depressors.

Hoodie has reinvented his musical persona as "Master Blaster DJ Que-Tip Mo-D", spinning "stax-o'-wax and kwayze whecods to pway on the whaydio".

He's been quite successful, even though he still cannot pronounce the letter "R".

Scatman was taking his pet cactus Spike for a walk today when he tripped on the lead and fell. Luckily Spike broke his fall. Scatman is OK, but he's feeling a bit prickly.

Hoodie has a favorite telecaster that he likes to take into a back room and while he polishes the guitar he mutters "my precious" over and over again.

Esaaal is confounded by guitar strings. The 1st is the 6th string away from his point of view and 1st string he can see is the 6th one. The high string is on bottom. And the Low string is on the top.

vtc has strings all figured out. He simply reminds himself, "Fat low, thin high, 6 is fatter than 1'.

T-Mike prefers a left handed Tele, strung backward and played behind his back, right handed style while standing on his head and looking into a mirror. He's like the Albert King of Bizarro World.

Esaaal is wookin' pa nub

Hollowman is "in all the wrong places"

<no lie> excellent Eddie Murphy reference! <no lie>

Esaaal is fee tines a mady.

TGFM is Mr. Landlord in Mr. Robinson's neighborhood.

Tutm frequently asks for more cowbell.

Esaal collects and sells cowbells for a living. In fact, he can often times be found at farm auctions and dicey antique shops in seach for the ultimate bell. If anyone needs a vintage and naturally reliced cowbell, Esaaal is the man to see!

jim pridx guarantees Ridx will get even the most stubborn stains out or your money back.

JS's friends have begun calling him Dinsdale due to his phobic fear of hedgehogs, spiny things and anyone named Norman.

Dinsdale Piranha nailed tgfm's head to the floor on many occasions.

very often JS will take a lie and place it in a jug to marinate overnight.

Esaal places lost lies under his pillow in the hope that the lie fairy will leave him a dollar.

Being from down under, ChexDee has to place his lies on top of his pillow, becuase the South-of-the-Equator-LieFairy does not go under pillows.

chez sold his complete set of primary teeth on ebay. vtcyclist sniped the winning bid.

Jack sold his nana's teeth,the glass she kept them in and her Zimmer frame at his garage sale at 7am on Saturday.

Boy was she grumpy when she woke up.

Last Saturday Mrs deluxe 'accidentally' sold chez's original 1967 signed 8x10 glossy of Hank Patterson.

ChzDlx upon learning he had #6 periodontal pockets, wanted to know if he could just put a pick in the gaps. "After all", he said, "I constantly lose the things and this could be a perfect solution".

TGFM's grandkids call he and the Mrs., Grammy and Grumpy.

Some people have their teeth filed down to make them look like vampires. TUTM had his front teeth coloured orange so he looks like a Nutria.

A smiling Hoodie McFoodie photographed at the recent Tamworth Country Music Festival,

http://gladbloke.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/chad-morgan.jpg?w=237&h=300

Chezdeluxe brushes three time a day and since he had more than one tooth, he wondered why it wasn't called a "teethbrush".

Esaaal smells faintly of cod liver oil.

BBB has been hoarding Carter's Little Liver Pills for almost 3 year's. Any day now he intends to begin the big cleanse.

tutm takes Andrews Liver Salts each morning for inner cleanliness.

with a good guitar, a great amp and a dose of Kayopectate there is nothing Boblets can't accomplish.

Esaaal and mares and does zy dotes.

whenever Dr Mike doesn't want to do something, he fakes pain, clutches his chest and sputters, "I'm coming Elizabeth". Usually, it works.

Esaaal never has never known what pain is. Just for kicks, he pulls hot, glowing tubes out of Mike's guitar amp whenever he gets the chance.

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/glowtube.jpg

The poster above brushes his teeth with those same tubes.

RI G&L eats his used tubes for extra roughage in his fiber lacking diet

hollowman is on a high mercury,lead, salt and strychnine diet. He's a firm believer in the old chestnut, "What kills you can't hurt you."

JS knows not to eat yellow snow, but he will eat relic'd Butterscotch snow.

Whenever someone mentions butterscotch, especially in reference to teles, tutm always says, "Mmmmm. Butterscotch".

Dr Mike does not see the advantage of mixing butter with scotch.

His preference is to just add more scotch.

Next week Mr Chezdeluxe will confront IBM's Deep Blue in a telecaster battle for bragging rights.

Esaaal needs no Supercomputer. He can do fast fourier transform equations in his head, while drunk, AND without moving his lips.

PC learned ventriloquism just so she could mimic the store manager's saying "Hey idiot, that's 1/2 price today". Most of her guitars were purchased that way.

tutm often soothes himself by chanting "The solution of the vibrating drum problem is, at any point in time, an eigenfunction of the Laplace operator on a disk."

TGFM often uses the Cooley Tukey Algorithm to evaluate the sine function of old strings to determine if they need replacing.

TUTM ran out of lies 6,341 posts back. (As I have as of now) He has been actually telling the truth since then. But denying he is telling the truth, so I guess that counts as a lie??

vtc takes actual events from his own life and then attributes them to others, thus managing to simultaneously tell the truth and lie. Thinking about it gives me a headache.

T-Mike thinks he's living in a James Michener novel. "Culver City" is full of history, romance, intrigue and guitars. It's long, boring in the middle but a great story tracing the origins of the first Telecaster into CC.

Esaaal says he was clubbing at the Saints and Sinners on Venice in Cuver City when Zappa's trio played there ages ago.

Penny is working up a swanee whistle arrangement of Albert Ayler's "Witches and Devils"

Chez is developing a patented technique for whistling underwater, thinking there may be a long term interest from his fellow Queenslanders.

nrand is waiting for the Murray floodwaters to finally reach the Coorong and give it the flush out it deserves.

hoodie has a gig every third Tuesday at the Dorrigo RSL club.

Boblets has 2 apples every day as he's trying to keep 2 doctors away.

Esaaal takes his Beagle with him when he stops for a drink at the Timberdoodle Inn and orders him his usual Scotch and Toilet Water.

JS prefers Maker's Mark and eau de toilette. The result smells great and tastes terrible.

T-Mike is an Old Spice man, coriander is especially good.

Esaaal still likes to say "Take it off, Take it all off" every morning when he shaves. He is also the guy who uploaded that commercial on Youtube.

Tutm usually has a 5 o'clock shadow by 2:30.

Esaaal's shadow is the real Esaaal.

rsg knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men.

RSG's Kabuki theater is doing Guys and Dolls this summer

Esaaal's Kewpie doll has seen better days.

He named it Barbara-Ann after he won it at the State Fair 20 years ago and he has slept with it every night since then.

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/5917/20080306kewpie.jpg

Chez' mom couldn't afford a proper kewpie for him to sleep with when he was still in Dr Denton's, so she gave him this Japanese mayonnaise.

In her kitchen junk drawer, Penny has 1052 packets of take out Chinese Duck Sauce.

In his kitchen drawer, E has 1052 unopened rolls of Chinese duct tape. Just in case.

When Dr Mike plays dodge ball he jumps ,spins ,dives and twists but never ducks.

He thinks it's chicken.

chez will shake, rattle, roll or otherwise do whatever it takes to win at Twister.

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ_cK3GkqJMX-pkPRI_tkA4RsktNtVvwqsa85zu_GYm80fHmfZLMw

a game of twister and a 6 pack or coors light is how scatman found out about the birds and the bees.

A ring of sausage and a six pack is how simonc learned about 7 course meals.

A six pack and a new celluloid pick is how Esaaal finally got all the way through Orange Blossom Special.

A bottle of Chardonay and a bag of Candy Hearts is how TGFM celebrates Valentine's day.

71913

Tutm has written sayings for the candy valentine heart company for 42 years.

Esaaal worked for Hallmark until the day he got road rage and ran off a batch with some pretty strong sentiments.

Whenver he gets a bad case of road rage, TUTM simply closes his eyes and takes three deep breaths, exhaling slowly. Unfortunately he has totalled 2 out of his last 3 cars this way.

hollowman is a veteran of driver re-education classes.

He still persists in straddling the double line.

Realizing what true love is all about Chez decides to spend Valentines day with his beloved........................Telecaster.


Chez never puts his car into overdrive. He prefers distortion.


Always the innovator of new guitar techniques Chez has mastered the art of driving while playing guitar with his teeth. He keeps some cleaner close at hand for when his passengers poop their pants. Good thing he has leather seats.


One time Chez bought his girl a hallmark card with a guitar on it. She never got it though. Instead he gave her a post-it with a heart scribbled on it. The card is proudly displayed amongst his other music paraphernalia including his music note coffee mug, his rock star lunch box, and his "I love sax" bumper sticker.


To his list of things he can put in his nose Chez has recently added guitar picks, quarter inch jacks, and beer bottle labels. One item he was forced to remove was his girl friends toes......but he doesn't regret trying.


Coming from a criminal background Chez doesn't believe anybody can steal licks like he can.


Running away and joining the circus at a young age has prepared Chez perfectly for his corny stage antics later in life.


[No Lie] Sorry, I had some catching up to do! [/No Lie]

Githead is sending PM's to The Lohan to ask about Sudden Over-lie Syndrome (SOS) rehab.

Tutm has "FibberFlubber" or Liar's Tourettes where he blurts out lies at inapropriate moments.

TGFM has jibber-jabber. TUTM now has flibber-flubber. I sense a bad case of envy coming on from Esaaal who only has twitter -twatter.

chez has only twaddle, which is sort of low-energy jibber-jabber.

T-Mike is up Baloney Creek without a twaddle.

Esaaal is a Baloney conspiracy theorist.
He swears the "man" is trying to keep us down, buy having so many names for the same thing - He'll swear black and blue that baloney, polony, mortadella, devon, fritz & parizer are all alike.

Given that simon could not lie straight in bed, how are we to know what he might know about pastrami?

Bob is a pastrami aficionado. He turns his nose up to lowly mass produced Oscar Mayer type pastrami and sneers at the neophytes that pronounce the word: pə-strä'mē.

He swallows his vowels and adds extra syllables and multiple accents like Thurston Howell III and pronounces it: pə-strä'-ah'-mē.

Scatman is convinced that all conspiracies, such as pastrami, are just bologna, and there is no truth whatsoever in any of this.

There once was a poster named nrand
Who dreamed of forming a rasta band
When he could not get dreadlocks
His dream was flummoxed
And his rasta band ended up ash-canned.

vtcyclist is convinced all conspiracy theories are connected. No matter how outlandish or unplausable the theory is, he somehow manages to join them all together using what he calls VT's Theory of Connectivity.

HMcF was hired by the Ever Ready battery company to test 9volt batteries with his tongue.

Esaaal contacted Eveready suggesting they make fruit flavored battery terminals.

JS was hired by Bell to test their "Girls Racer" bicycle helmets.

"It's just not a good test if you don't break a few bones." JS boldly brags.

He's proud of the part he plays in protecting young girls craniums.

Being a full grown male your head must be uniquely small to qualify for the position making JS a perfect fit for the job.

Being a little over-zealous JS was going to prove the helmut could survive a head on collision with a locomotive but the companies underwriter put a kabash on the project. "Wimps"

Wishing to be known as the master of his craft JS dreams of one day pulling off his HANO test (High Altitude, No Opening, head on collision with the Earth) "Let's see them top that one," he says, determination smoldering in his glass eye.

GitHead has seen Black Swan 22 times

hman, AKA WB0HMN, still gets out with his vintage Swan amateur radio setup:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e2/Swanscan.png

When tgfm was a kid he'd sneak into his Uncle Bernie's radio room and say into the mike,"Car 54 where are you?".

JS can send PSK31 using a falsetto voice into the mic of his SSB rig.

When tgfm was a kid he'd sneak into his Uncle Bernie's radio room and say into the mike,"Car 54 where are you?".
<no lie>I actually had an Uncle Bernie.</no lie>

When he was a kid Mike used to hide the fact that he had an Uncle Bernie who was also known in the neighborhood as "the creepy guy in the trench coat."

Githead sleeps in a hammock in an otherwise empty room...just in case his house capsizes during the night.

RSG has 14 dozen hot wings, a keg of beer, 7 bags of chips, 3 jars of hot salsa, 1 gallon of guacamole and a roast beef sandwich all ready for this weekend's big sports event. Yes, that's right, the Southeast Wales ladies curling prelims are being televised!

Esaaal thinks the Super Bowl is the new Extra Wide Turbo Flusher he just had installed.

Everytime he uses it you can hear him yell "TOUCHDOWN!"

He thinks it a little odd people want to buy tickets to see it but "what the hay!"

And all that fanfare and cheer leaders and guys runnin' around in colorful uniforms and bands just to celebrate a turlet. I mean it's nice and everything but that just seems to be getting a little carried away.

Not willing to settle for anything but the best Esaaal made certain to get the model with the heated seat. It also came with arm rests and a drink holder but he passed on the bidet. He already has a fountain in the yard.

Githead's neighbors have all sound prrofed their children's rooms for the upcoming Githead Super Bowl party. Githead is famous for his critique of the referees during the game. Some have said certain never before heard phrases linking animal husbandry and the referees were actually invented by Githead during past Super Bowls. No one can deny his love of the game.

Tutm won't tevo all the GoDaddy commercials during the superbowl.

Even though he is from PA, Esaaal is secretly a Browns fan

hman thinks the Super Bowl is a waste of time and will be watching reruns of last year's US Women's Figure Skating Championships instead.

Dr Mike regularly skates on thin ice.When asked why his response is invariably "Go figure!"

Meanwhile githead has developed a strategy of cryogenically freezing lies and then unleashing a barrage of them at a single inoffensive,unsuspecting liar. His blitzkrieg attack on me in post 14896 has set my therapy back at least 6 months. Be alert .You may be next.

Meanwhile, our pal Chezdeluxe, enjoys fresh lies. He'll pair this with some crusty bread and some Chianti for a delicious snack.

Esaaal only likes half-baked lies. Fully cooked ones cause him late night indigestion and sleeplessness.

tutm likes his lies flied and served with chicken Sichuan, preceded by hot and sour soup.

RSG composes his fibs while enjoying a nice Vindaloo, garlic naan, and for afters rosewater kheer. He records the fibs on a classic parchment scroll with an antique Waterman filled with artisanal ink.

<no lie>I love Vindaloo with garlic naan, rosewater not so much...don't need any help with burping after the aforementioned, thanks! :lol:</no lie>

PC concocts her tall stories perched atop an enormous unicycle with a rearward stabilizer.

redstringbuitar, I sold you my black guard on good faith, send me my money, it's been over a month now!! :shock:

CSS, very nice pickguard, thank you.

Now where's the rest of the guitar??

rsg likes to catch - splutter splutter - and pull their wings - splutter splutter - and then - splutter splutter pop - silence.

Darn, the wick in my lie engine has gone out.

Boblets wears a ring with a tiny reservoir on his finger into which he periodically drips a few droplets of unleaded to fuel his lie engine.

Well, it is a Wankel.

RSG prefers NSU over Wankel.

chez spins his yarns on a German knitting machine.

Got G.A.S. ?

Try the new RSG line of guitars amps (now with wires).

RSG amps have a well worn, retro vibe. Covered in sturdy burlap you'll never be called ostentatious by your snooty friends who got everything handed to them by their rich parents. Just look at those chicken head knobs from free range chickens. Choose the 16, 32, or 48 ounce "coffee can" re-issue speakers. These amps also serve double duty as step stools or car jack blocks. Pick your color scheme. Burlap and Oxblood, Burlap and Chicken blood or Burlap and (some other kind of blood).

Try one today!

Esaaal Shock and Awe Brand Amps

Specs

Volume 12 only
Tone - tiny, moderate and barely perceptible three-way switch
all Treble no bass

6vl6's and that's it, period. All you need is power.

Only comes as a small head and and a huge cabinet

Available sometime in the Spring

Headphones optional

Tutm has installed 3 5-way switches and 5 3-way switches to his favorite tele. He also added a kill switch and two extra volume and tone controls to the coil splitting nut humbucker he installed. He figures he's added 8,977 additional tone variations to the guitar all of which are "cool". He's now begun the process of naming each tone.

Esaaal is a tone purist and removed the 3-way switch and volume and tone controls from his tele and wired the two pickups in parallel directly to the output jack. His pedal chain, however, includes a Carl Martin 3-Band Parametric EQ/Pre-amp, a Danelectro DJ14 Fish and Chips 7-Band EQ Pedal, a BBE Boosta Grande Clean Boost and a Boss SUPER OverDrive SD-1 Pedal.

tgfm uses two pedals in his signal chain and they are both on his vintage Sears exercycle that he "rides" while playing.

JS still wonders what happened to Roebuck.

TGFM recently decided to adopt the "Thumper Doctrine"

If you spot an old grump, wandering the sidewalks of Culver City and muttering "Outta my way before I thump ya", that, gentle reader, will be Dr Mike.

chez has adopted the Bambi doctrine: I'll become king of the deer and humans will name their daughters after me.

since his last post tgfm has the words "doe a deer, a female deer" looping through his thought waves. He can't get this ditty out of his head.

Boblets has been thinking, "ray a drop of golden sun, Ray Price, Reagan, Sugar Ray Leonard, x-ray, sting ray, Raymond, razor, ray a drop of golden sun" over and over since last Tuesday. Apparently there is just a tiny ray of hope for him.

T-Mike wrote the advertising jingle "It's Back To Robert Hall This Year".

Boblets has suddenly and for no apparent reason, started speaking in an affected Prussian accent.

PC has started speaking in an authentic Prussian accent as part of New Hampshire's 2011 'Back To Our Roots' campaign.

you can use pennycentury's tears as soldering flux ...and once, just once...she was referred to by name in one of Adam Sandlers movies.

Gg was in the original 13 Ghosts movie as Frightened Man 2.

Tgfm secretly once stole Katy Perrys used gum after she spit it out, in a feeble attemp to use her DNA to clone a new one, to control the young generation so that he may live his lifelong dream of destroying the mighty race of walruses

Adriano once watched 45 minutes of 'Deliverance' before he realised that it wasn't a documentary on the effect of Banjo's on children's eyesight!

Greyghost1313 ordered "Deliverance" from Netflix expecting an undercover documentary of UPS, Fedex and DHL along the lines of "Supersize Me".

JS signed up for Netflix thinking it would be videos of classic pro basketball games.

TGFM TVO's every college basketball game and following the championship completely redoes his brackets. He claims he has not lost a single pick in 4 years.

Because Tutm's fingers are always coated with pine tar, he hasn't lost a single pick in 10 years.

Esaaal much prefers finger style (no picks) acoustic over anything one has to plug in....such as a tele.

Vtcyclist still uses training wheels.

BBB works as a TELEmarketer. Skis on TELEmark gear. Plays a TELEcaster. Calls his Mum on the TELEphone. He is an all around TELE guy.

I once called vtcyclist a "two-bit Guitar Player" and he hit me with a sack full of quarters!

Say it ain't so! RotelliCaster has built a Partscaster using nothing but various pasta shapes. He used meatballs for volume and tone knobs. TUTM says the tone is "very cheesy".

Penny has amp that instead of going up to "eleven", just has an "extra cheese" position. Instead of reverb the knob says "would you like bread sticks with that?".

PC and VTC have been 'a feudin' for so long that it would make the Hatfield's and McCoy's blush. VTC is now planning revenge for Penny's latest caper, when she filed down all of the gears on VTC's Cannondale before the big race so he could not shift properly in to 18th gear

Hman trying to save money filed down his own frets and now he has a custom electric viola.

TUTM is gravely disappointed that his so-called eighteen speed racing bike has severe "ratio overlap" to the extent that he only has six actual speeds. That's got him wondering about the custom Agile guitar he has ordered, that comes with eighteen strings - six courses of three strings each. Now he's worried that he will only get six tones out of it.

Penny's main amp was round filed after her six organic, cheesey tones were mislabeled and found to overlap worse than a 1920's double breasted Zoot suit.

VTC often amps up before posting. Generally it involves high concentrations of concentrated caffine drinks, 4 hours of Led Zepplin and a past due notice (not in any particular order).

TUTM often turns amps up to be louder than anyone else in his band. When his singer asks for him to turn down, he just blabbers something like "babaganoosh um ta loud boosheet" and proceeds to turn up even more.

Jim is a Jungle gym junkie.

Nobody else here was privy to this, but SimonC has been banned in the past for overusing the word "m@n@t33" and the plaintext version of the Word has been added to the Censored Word List. In fact, by mentioning this, although I spelled the forbidden word in 'leet speak, I am only just skirting a reprimand of my own.

Play nice, friends, lest your next posts be reduced to ******* **** *** *******.

PennyCentury keeps a lucky jelly bean in her right nostril

AdrianO's family have banned him from eating red jelly beans - we don't want to know why!

Boblets is actually the Red M&M...

HMcF has put together a 9-piece swing band that mostly does songs they probably shouldn't. He's named it the McFoodie No-No Nonet.

All tgfm's songs on his set list stress that in general, it's all good, with the caveat "mostly" for his trad country and blues numbers.

JackStraw would rob a bank, steal a car, hop a train, sell his plasma, whatever it takes to come up with just one more good lie.

hman sold his soul at the crossroads and got a banjo in return.

TUTM is jealous that hman got the banjo. Two things TUTM has always wanted: a banjo and bicycle built for two.

vtcyclist strictly adheres to the old Vermont tradition of wiping down his strings with a liberal dose of Grade B maple syrup after every gig.

BRat likes to imbibe a liberal dose of Grade B maple syrup between sets.

TGFM often ends a set with "Ummmmm White Lightning"

TUTM's pre-gig tipple:

http://www.canmuseum.com/Staging/Images/Cans/10483L.jpg

He refers to it as "Quite Frightening".

Hello maw, hello pa
Here I am at Camp Redstringuitar
Camp is very interesting
And they give you all the answers before testing.

I went hiking with telleutellme
He developed an itchy heiney
You remember Chezdeluxe
He drowned this morning swimming after some ducks.

All the counselors play old Les Pauls
And there’s rubber coating , on all of the walls
But the head coach wants us to play
So he reads to us from something called Mel Bay.

How I don't want that, dis should scare ya
But Penny Century has malaria
You remember Dr. T-Mike
We’re learning to make a Martini that he’ll like.

Take me home, oh grampa and gramp
Take me home, I hate this guitar camp
Don't make me, learn those hard barr chords
Or God forbid, to learn all of the words

Take me home I promise I will not make noise
Or blast my amp with other boys.
Oh please don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day.

Dearest pepaw, darling meemaw,
How's my precious bruddah JackStraw
Let me come home, if you miss me
I would even let Uncle Hollowman hug and kiss me.

Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing.
Guys are strumming guys are wailing
Playing guitar, gee that's better
Muddah, faddah kindly disregard this letter

Esaaal is still angry with Allan Sherman for not giving him lyrics credit for Here's To The Crabgrass.

<no lie> +1 Esaaal. Good one <no lie/>

TGFM is still angy he didn't get the Chipmunk voice over credits.

TUTM named his Tele Alvin and his Blackface Twin Chip and Dale.

Dr Mike has changed Dinsdale the Manatee's diet from seagrass to crabgrass.

Esaaal has received an injunction from ASCAAAP.

chez thought ASCAAAP was a Hip/Hop act of revenge until he checked Wiki.

Nutrition experts all over the world champion the health benefits of eating Kale. JackStraw is the one human that actually does. And likes it. :mrgreen:

(edit: to replace Chez's name with Jack's, since he won the draw on following Chez's post)

vtpedalpusher claims to have incontrovertible proof that the Three Stooges were actually named Larry Fine and Moe and Curly Kale.

Whenever chez eats steamed Dins Kale he develops a dread fear of Guillaume le Conquérant à Pointe. He has found that raw Dins Kale makes excellent manatee fodder and a Dins Kale tea is useful for tinting tele necks and pickguards.

ChzDlx is a third cousin twice removed from Shemp. Not sure who it was that removed him from Shemp's property though or who his cousin is.

Tmike has a land office business trading rare birds for culinary purposes. He was the supplier to Mitterand's last meal of several ortolans (aka fig-peckers). He catches the birds in recycled Fender shipping cartons.

PC famed Trapper of the North uses only harmless traps. Here is her invention for catching wild mice. Just increase the size as needed.



72431

tutm spends his days devising useful items that can be assembled from a trashcan and items found in the typical home recycling bin. Yesterday, in addition to the mousetrap pictured above, he designed a compressed newsprint barbeque, a water-for-a-week houseplant hydration system and a 2-octave glass marimba. He's still puzzingly over how to convert 37 aluminum cans into a tele body.

Having imbibed his evening glass of medicinal red Boblets can report with glowing confidence that tgfm spends his days devising useful methodologies to further his research on the benefits of personal alcoholic re-hydration.

It is a well known fact that boblets spends hours on chatroulette looking fo ladies, once he finds them he says. "hey toots, wanna see my tele?"

It took Adriano months of therapy and 1 injunction to realize that using a wrist rocket to fire candy corn at girls while screaming "sweets for the sweet" probably wasn't a good way to meet them.

Esaaal was caught selling FAKE Superbowl tickets. His excuse "wanted to donate the proceeds to replace the TDPRI guitar smashed by UPS".

sharkblues has a full size tattoo of his face....on his face!

Greyghost1313's early choices for a user name were, Silverwraith3131, Greengoblin1133, Bluebogie6262, Blackbanshee2626, Brownbogart7474, Purplepixie4747, Yellowelf8989, Maroonzombie9898, and Periwinklenecromancer0001. Unfortunately they were all taken.