Make up a lie about the poster above you!

ChxDlx watches Gladiator at least once a week to fight his dual phobia's of Tigers and Togas. This apparantly started from a college theme party and a trip to see Zeigfried and Roy.

TGFM says if you mix alcohol and caffine you get a really good drummer.

tutm is working on an iPad app that simulates a TR-808.

<no lie>TRS - 8080 or Z80<no lie\>

TGFM is working on a punch card reader app for his Droid

TUTM actually is a droid. he's been watching the director's cut of Blade Runner all weekend and is convinced that he has been manufactured.

hman thought this would be an easy way to get Chrome on his iPhone:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31vf%2B5KU21L._SS400_.jpg



<no lie>TRS - 8080 or Z80<no lie\>
I meant a Roland TR-808 drum machine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by telleutelleme
<no lie>TRS - 8080 or Z80<no lie\>

I meant a Roland TR-808 drum machine.

I knew that

<no lie>I blew that one<No lie>

tutm's other instrument is a 2009 Stomvi 5383 Bb Master Titanium.

TGFM boasts the blown out cheek look with a Getzen 900H Eterna Classic Professional with Tilted Bell. He likes to be called "DZ" as a tribute to both Gillespi and his new found love of Hip Hop Trumpet.

60780

TUTM has recently purchased a Barton theatre organ. Since he's discovered that many of the parts and pieces are missing as well as discovering that the cost of restoring such an item is astronomical, he's purchased 3,000 cheezy kazoos and a 500 HP blower to power them. He did say, however, that the console is in fine working condition.

JP has put his order in for Christmas.

He is hoping for the entire James Last "The Happy Hammond" back catalogue which he plans to crank out through a Showman head into a Leslie Cabinet. That should cement neighbourhood relations.

Chez only wants style for Christmas.

60788

the only hiphop trumpet I recognize is Kid Koala's Drunk Trumpet


uJ8enrYfUx8

it's not the hat that distinguishes TUTM, it is rather the Colomboesque raincoat.

Speaking of raincoats, Penny don't forget your restraining order about being within 1000 feet of a starbucks while wearing one

Hollowman thinks nothing is sexier than his outfit of rubber raincoat with matching restraints.

chez has decided that having a manatee as a pet is just too much trouble, so he's decided to collect manatee jewelry instead. Here's his latest acquisition:
http://i22.ebayimg.com/05/i/000/df/83/6872_2.JPG

the only hiphop trumpet I recognize is Kid Koala's Drunk Trumpet
<no lie>He's great!</no lie>
Chez only wants style for Christmas.
http://www.tdpri.com/forum/attachments/epic-threads/60788d1286828605t-make-up-lie-about-poster-above-you-new-era-cap-gift-style-jpg
<no lie>Me too! (maybe)</no lie>

I'd send T-Mike to a haberdasher to get his Trilby, but he thinks "haberdasher" refers to Santa Claus' one Lost Reindeer.

Not satisfied with a wardrobe full of Trilbies, Penny is rearing a clandestine hutch of wee little wabbits so she can harvest their skins to make a genuine Akubra.

In 1954, Boblets was up for a special Academy Award as the ocular actor for Johnny Fedora. He was aced out by Maurice Denham who did all the voices for Animal Farm that year.

hA5dXd7GjII

boblets makes counterfeit akubra hats from rodents pelts.

he doesn't give a rats arse if, or when he gets caught.

simon pays bobl $0.50Aus for each rat's arse and instead of saying "Yeah, like I could give a rat's arse", he does.

Mike whistles this tune whenever he couldn't give a rats arse.

When he is really blase about something he says "I couldn't give a sick monkey's @&%#"

-bverx-nMWQ

Chez prefers the term "I could give a carp" to all other arse-oriented terminology. Of course, the letters are twisted a bit, but you get the idea. Chez's real issue is that when he goes fishing down yonder in the swamps near Brisbane, he only produces an abundance of carp over other more desirable fish. Believe it or not, Chez is a professional carp fisherman, and he claims they're best eaten when smoked!

Jim prefers to smoke fish rather than eat them...he always dries them off first though, otherwise they're buggers to light up.

Butter, buttress, and butterscotch are a small part of Jim's arsenal, non-scatological as they may be.

RSG and skates - fishy business, either way you look at it.

Moggl went fishing in 1979 in the North Sea where he caught 17 sturgeon. Here's a pic of his friend holding up #17 while Moggl snaps the pic:

http://www.sturgeon-fishing-guides.com/sturgeon_fishing.jpg

Mike is getting ready for the 2010 Ballona Creek Salmon run.

He hopes to do better than at the Hermosa Beach Grunion run where all he got was sand in his shorts.

At the most recent Brisbane River Bass Fishermen's Roundup and Shootout, chez got Honorable Mention for catching the most and the largest catfish.

Simonc has just sent PM's to all the liar's indicating he will not be sending out the new Stones album for this year's TDPRI holiday gift. Instead he has decided to give Celtic Thunder's new Christmas CD. This he felt is more in line with the holiday spirit and he really likes their music. We should all note that in TGFM's case, he couldn't be more pleased. Hip Hop non-withstanding so is PC.

<no lie> Brisbane River catfish are an absolute PITA but they come with the territory if you are fishing for Bream or Mudcrabs <no lie>

Mike gets plenty of mentions in the Culver City Gazette social pages. None of them are honourable and they usually accompany a photo of Mike at a cocktail party leering at an underclad filly.

TUTM skips pages like he skips the light fandango. You oughta see him cartwheel.

It was chez's promise of a moonlight tele serenade that convinced the F-111 squadron at RAAF Amberley to participate once more in this year's Riverfire.

TGFM confused Riverfire with River Dance and he knows there were no F-111's involved, although he was.

Chez actually posts early just to trip me up.

tutm was on the original F-111 development team - he's the one who came up with the name 'Aardvark'.

tgf is the one responsible for the decommissioning of the F-111s, he led a petition to get rid of them because he thought after-burning was a waste of fuel.

Boblets discovered afterburning in college following a bean binge and his roomates Bic lighter.

TUTM's college roomates' battle cry was "Houston, we have liftoff".

Strangely the hairs have never grown back.

Chez discovered pot while attending the University of Queensland as a young teenager. Shortly after gettting high for his very first time, he was once overheard as saying....."Brisbane, we do indeed have a liftoff!"

Meanwhile, Mike has decided to visit the "frozen tundra" of Wisconsin to do some serious sturgeon fishing on Lake Winnebago. While no such fish seem to swim the banks along the shores of Ballona Creek, Mike has acknowledged the fact that Lake Winnebago may be his very best bet for spearing or snorkeling with an exceptionally huge sturgeon fish. Mike, if you need a place to hang your hooks, you're always welcome to stay at my place! Good luck with the fishing thing!

Mildly dyslexic, Jim fishes for sturgeon in the hope of seeing one operate in a marine theatre.

The way Boblets eats ground beef and beans he considers himself to be a Chilean Miner.

(alternate lie) Boblets wonders why anyone would bother to save some Chilean Mimers...

Esaaal has lost his accreditation with the Greater Pennsylvania Jokesters, Punsters and Liars Association.

tgfm's membership in the BCCS (Ballona Creek Chowder Society) was in question after he mixed New England Clam with Manhatten Clam and called it Rhode Island Quahog Rose'.

Esaaal's triple A rating has been reviewed and it looks like he might end up as plain old Esl.

Esaaal was never admitted to the BCCS because of his strong aversion to anything with a hard shell. he won't even eat tacos, and all of his guitars are stored in gig bags

hman is just like Esaaal in his aversion to hard shells, with the exception of M&Ms.

chez thought of giving up all of his vowels, but the resulting chzdlx looks too much like a vanity license plate and chez is vain about his lack of vanity.

That God Forsaken Mike wanted to buy a U but the shop had run out. They are back in stock now but Mike says he is accustomed to life without U and can't see himself changing.

What's this: chzedleuex?

chezdeluxe after a vowel movement.

<no lie>I know it will come to no good and I posted it anyway because it makes me laugh so hard I can barely see.</no lie>

That God Forsaken Mike wanted to buy a U but the shop had run out. They are back in stock now but Mike says he is accustomed to life without U and can't see himself changing.
Exactly. U and I together just doesn't make any sense.

Uh oh, the tgfm user interface is playing up again.

RSG's doesn't like GUI's and only uses command line because it showcases his leadership skills.

TUTM posts here using LYNX web browser, and can't view any of the graphics. He says his 40-column B&W screen and 64 K RAM should be enough for anyone.

Penny spent the better part of the day trying to decipher deeper meaning to the lyrics of her fovorite songs. "Running With the Devil" still has her completely flummoxed.

Hollerman is still working on the meaning of the words to the Ventures' tune Walk Don't Run.

when the need for caffeine hits her, PC heads for the local coffee shop (sans raincoat, of course). She alternates between walking and running, seven short steps followed by a mad 14 yard sprint. the Ministry of Silly Walks is investigating, but her status has yet to be determined...

hman has opened a clinic that ministers to those afflicted with Silly Walk Syndrome. He's still determing which treatment is more effective: classic psychotherapy or radical aversion therapy. He's a little biased, as he finds administering aversion therapy to be more fun.

In this weekend's highly anticipated NLCS pitchers' duel it will be tgfmike taking the mound agains two-time Cy Young Award winner Tim Lincecum.

The only pitchers duel that Heritage is intereseted in this weekend is a pitcher of Bud vs a pitcher of MGD.

<no lie>^^^^^^:lol::lol:^^^^^^<no lie>


In the meantime Esaaal has been trying to find a girl singer for his band. Despite his highly aclaimed falsetto, people have been questioning his believability on those Freda Payne covers; Put it in the Want Ads and Band of Gold. He asked PC but she told him in no uncertain terms where he could put his covers and the stack of 45RPM records he uses to learn them.

Tutm is frequently abashed but never aghast.

Esaaal turns even the most simple event into a magical musical moment.

At his recent physical,when the Doctor asked him to open wide and say aaah, Esaaal tried for an A above Middle C.

chezdeluxe mistakenly swalloed his glass eye . after a thorough examination the doctor could find no trace so as a last resort looked up cds rear
"no " said the doctor , " still cant see it"
"well i can see you " said a still bent over chezdeluxe

In his 20s, jy was a rodeo clown, armed with a tele, a red nose and a lot of attitude.

tgfmike has a penchant for scribbling limericks on his teles. He writes them face up so he can read them at gigs when he gets bored.

I'm sure you've all heard of TB
Who has not one tele but three
One standard, one classic
And the third a fantastic
HR fifty-two from oh-three

There once was a liar named Mike
who'd tote a guitar on his bike
but he didn't look cool
or make the girls drool
turns out the bike was a trike...

Following his brief stint as a rodeo clown
when the rear of a bull didn't slow down
and captured Esaaal's thoughts from head down to crawl.
It is said that what was required was a thundering shot
to effect his eventual withdrawal.
Not of gun was the way, but of gas so they say.
Some choose to believe it, some not.

And that is why you never see Esaaal riding a bike in the wind.

Not only does TUTM have a glass eye, but he also has a crystal ball.

Trust with dirt on her face,
Beauty with a callus on her finger,
Lyrical with Gorilla Snot in her hair,
And the hope of the future with
A Bad Ass Tele in her hands.

No, not PC, she's charming, sweet and plays a Daisy Rock.

A leather face and a rheumy eye
A stubble grey and a neck of red
A flat backside and a withered thigh
A horny hand and a hairless head.

Yep TUTM without a doubt.

TUTM and Chez have hooked up to form a comedy/poetry duo called the "Boosh-Leaguer Dynamic Duo." Their goal is to make the Liars of TDPRI laugh themselves into hysterics upon hearing their creative performances. So far, however, Mike, Esaaal, and Penny aren't so amused.

jp has a secret desire to be famous like his boyhood hero Jim Bowie. In the still of the night, when all the family is asleep, he sneaks out to the kitchen, grabs a steak knife and stalks the corridors singing "Jim Pridee Jim Pridee Jim Prideeeeeee - he was a scary man".

Turns out that Boblet's Goanna milking machine invention actually works. Now, if he can just sucessfully market the cheese. The cheese, yes, that is key!

< no lie > Trust me you would not even want to think about messing with a goanna < no lie >

Esaaal collected his dry cleaning today. One suit,two pairs of slacks,two pullovers and a tweed sporran.

Once, in a Turkish prison, Chez was forced to eat frozen pie and chug warm beer. Later that night a mysterious riot errupted in cell block "A" and a determined Chez slipped away un-noticed into the dark. Not too much later, an anonymous and scathing article on Turkish Prison abuses appeared in the local paper that really made the warden terse.

Esaaal was chosen as the original lead in the film "Midnight Express" but informed director Alan Parker that midnight was past his bedtime and could they change the title to "Nine Thirty Express"?

Jack was going to star in 'The February Man', but the film never got made: they were always a month behind schedule.

Imediately after seeing "The Green Mile" Moggl stopped wearing his dry sponge hats.

Esaaal stores his hats in a controlled humidity chamber and only wears them for special occasions and even then for only an hour or two.

TGFMike has been considering joining the Red Hat Society for quite some time now, but they told him he'd have to change his name to TGFMichelle, so he did.

when Jim P goes outside to prune his prize winning roses he wears a large floppy hat to protect his skin from the merciless Wisconsin sun. He won't wear a sombraro however cause he thinks they look weird on him.

Esaaal is often accused of talking through his hat, generally a trilby. This muffles his speech and dulls his tone.

Mike frowns upon talking through hats. He claims it muffles his speech and dull his tone. Instead, he talks through police megaphones. Not only do they amplify his speech, but he feels it sparkles his tone as well.

TGFM stood by silently as JP pointed a crooked finger at Esaaal and intoned "J'accuse".

Mike could have confessed to the indiscretion in the elevator but lives his life on the principle of every man for himself.

Jim meanwhile abides by the dictum of women and children first except when cake is involved.

Chez and JP now enjoy mutual confidence in elevators. A stunned TGFM looks on with envy!

Esaaal giving up his membership in the Tele Tubbies viny suit brigade decided to go solo as a weekend Michelin Man. He always felt he was a step ahead of the others and more firmly grounded.

tutm has combined his love of plush and manatees into a fantastic Holloween costume:

http://partywiththis.com/images/P/o17.jpg

TGFMike is trying to come up with a method to play guitar while wearing a snuggie. Story at 11:00.

Esaal came upon a long lost Donovan 45 the other day when searching up in the attic for his snuff box. He spent the rest of the day trying to catch the wind.

As the Sun rose this morning, Boblets rushed out of the house screaming "This is for Woody" and then quietly went back inside to play the "A" sides of his Donovan 45's.

tutm always hated Donovan, although he was a huge Nilsson fan.

TGFMIKE studied ventriloquism just so he could make his own requests for Gordon Lightfoot songs.

TUTMs 2 favourite radio shows were The Edgar Bergen /Charlie McCarthy Show and Palmolive Presents "Marcel Marceau Master of Mime"

Kraft Chezdlx started a Turtles cover band, Sponsored link

wait: do over.

Kraft Chezdlx started a Turtles cover band, Search Results

wait; do over--

Kraft Chezdlx started a Turtles cover band, Chief Kamanawanalea and The Royal Macadamia Nuts

PC once tried to start a turtle soup franchise. It was looking good until someone from down south objected to the name "turtle urtle", claiming this was the name of the local hot dog eating champion.

No one will ever dispute Boblets' love for manatee soap. He claims it's the cleanliest of all soaps available and, as a result, his new company "down south" is entitled "Manatee for Sanity Soaps Unlimited." He makes no claims to hot dog or egg eating championships, nor does he make claims of his soap being superior to PC's "turtle urtle." Seriously, it's the real thing, folks! Just ask TUTM! When visiting the state of Texas, he knows that only the biggest of lies will be tolerated!

Very cunning sidestep jimpee, but you cannot escape the fact that it was you who leaked PC's turtle urtle franchise name to those southern bogans.

According to his own cunning plan to helpfully suggest a merger between his and Penny's businesses, Boblets has started handing out plush manatees in turtle-neck jumpers.

Moggl is expanding his international franchise chain to embrace the demand for James Bond savoir faire in the coming Northern Hemisphere Winter.

New stores are opening up from Iceland to Italy;from Lithuania to Luxembourg;from Newcastle to New Rochelle. All with the same outstanding product range ... RUGS.

Moggl's Male Pattern Baldness Manor. Opening November 4 in a 'burg near you.

ChzDlx has provided Moggl with the $28K AU franchise fee and is anxiously awaiting his "special order" inventory to arrive. He is certain the blonde rugs will be especially popular with his elderly Surfer buddies. He expects this will really take off.

Apparantly a lot of people in Sweden woke up this morning only to find the Swedish Hair Thief had struck again. It's believed that Interpol is closing in on Moggl's operation. Check with TGFM who has a shortwave Interpol scanner to get the latest updates.

tutm was sitting around this morning, thinking "Turtles, manatees, human hair, what's missing? I know! Cheese and bacon!" and thus the origins of tutm's soon-to-be-famous bacon-cheese turtles:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_dfMlRSC_fsY/S3oRt4jxiAI/AAAAAAAADa4/fAFCAB6cO2Q/s640/Bacon+Cheese+Turtleburgers.jpg

TGFM 's Baloney Creek Kennel has been experimenting with a new breed and here's the first litter! (Previous page ^^^) I' ll take that cutie in the middle.

JackStraw has introduced a new breed of dog by crossing a Rhodesian Ridgeback with an Ossabaw Island pig.

He's calling it the New Jersey Streakyback.

RSG's attempted to cross Welsh Mountain sheep with Cardigan Corgis.

None of the ensuing animals came with pockets and buttons as he had hoped.

Being the doting husband, Chez bought his missus a flyer and dog-lead to save her hauling handbag.

<no lie>flyer = female 'roo<no lie>

RSG has been trying to understand what TGFM means what he says by "It's It".

Herb Caen knew, but it's not possible to contact him.

PC likes to say "That's that". How can you argue with that?

** No Lie < boblets is traumatised after seeing tgfm's bbq, and will never mention turtles again > Well, maybe just a little lie **

tfgm xx tmgf xx tgfm (at last) embezzled his way into PC's famous turtle urtle chain of thumb lickin' goodness (with added vitamins) and tried to flog them in the UK, with a rather pathetic attempt at "Union Jack" turtburgers. The English would have nothing to do with them, preferring to stick with bangers and mash.

Boblets' handle on the TDPRI was once PornStarBob and tried to change it to xxxBobby4U, but the moderatators would have nothing to do with it. Finally, all parties agreed that "Boblets" was most appropriate when considering that ocean water, manatees, 'urtles and bangers were all part of his routine.

Jim exported his one man mowing business to Australia, & then franchised it out, he's now the owner of the jims mowing conglomerate, & makes more cheese than you'd first think.

simonc was the brainchild behind the "Victa Mower" precision lawn mowing parade at the Sydney Olympics opening ceremony. This extravaganza was right up there with the Hills Hoist whirlygig.

Boblets was crushed when he found out Katy Perry was marrying Russell Brand.

Hoodie was the mediator who managed to convince Katy Perry's lawyers not to sue Katie Perry for using her own name on her designer label.

(Thank heavens for google, hoodie, I didn't have a clue who you were talking about. Mention the Electric Prunes or The Loved Ones and I'll be there with you).

Boblets was a one time guitarist in Tamam Shud

Hoodsie's new band, the Shai-Huluddites, have moved to the Sahara for proper Spice farming.

Moggl's new band, The Shy Helmsmen, always play behind a curtain.

TGFM's band the Late Night Delecatesens features a smorgasboard of meaty covers.

TUTM's new band, the "The Big 'T' Pork Rib BBQ Band," also features meaty covers.

Someone be sure and tell JP that I got those John Denver custom shirts he wanted. I guess it is for his Rocky Mountain Oyster Cult Band. Got to wonder what covers they will be doing.

In the meantime, if someone could please tell TUTM that I have his Lady Gaga motorcycle jacket ready for him, I'd really appreciate it!

<no lie> TUTM, had a great time in TX - not looking forward to leaving later today. </no lie>

The reason Jim isn't looking forward to leaving Texas is that a person or persons unknown of dubious intent mentioned 'tar and feathers' to him in connection with 'leaving'.

The reason Jim isn't looking forward to leaving Texas is that a person or persons unknown of dubious intent mentioned 'tar and feathers' to him in connection with 'leaving'.

Nah, that's not really the reason. The real reason I'm not looking forward to returning to WI is because I heard that Moggl's new band, "Moggle Boggle & the Tar Feathered Yoyo's," will be touring in my home town this week. I hear they're essentially a Dieter Bohlen/Modern Talking tribute act.

See you guys tamale!

Jim P's new band "Planet Arrakis and the Worms" usually requires band members to wear blue contacts.

Esaaal's new band "Baaadaaass" cops an attitude.

ChzDlx's band didn't do "Bad Dog" for Cops but they were on an episode.

tutm's new post-retro-traditional-authentic-roots-orthodox-revival-country-bluegrass polka band, 'Tut' Shilling and the Change Masters, is also opening in jp's home town this week. Their original "Lost My Dog And My Tele After A 3 Week Binge" for tele, acoustic bass, hi-hat, fiddle, lap steel, tenor mandolin, concertina and spoons was the winner last spring in the Texas Panhandle Hoedown, Pancake Extravanganza And Fife Competition in the 'Fifeless 8-Piece Countryish Band' category, a well-deserved victory.

T-Mike thought it would be cool to amplify his washboard for his new zydeco project. He wired it up and plugged it into his fav amp. Unfortunately he does not wear a shirt when playing his board, and he also sweats profusely. He shore can dance tho!

hman's new band, Art Deco and The Streamliners, spent the last two years touring Iowa playing Rudy Vallee covers.

Mike spent 3 days and 2 nights of fear in Des Moines after the "Ponderosa Playboys" tour bus left town without him.

TGFM penned the Culver City Tango for Tele. It scored on both Dancing with the Culver City Octogenarians and Tiny Tots Tango on the Argentinian Cable channel. He is expected to do a Flugelhorn version next.

ChzDlx was the guest dancer on D.W.C.C.O.

tutm has single-handedly opened the Houston Center For Supercentenarian Arts. There is only one member, Sally McMurphy, who is doing an amazing job of learning the intro Smoke On The Water on her Squier Affinity tele.

TGFM & AM reasons that since his guitar has six strings, he should be able to play six different tunes at once. So far he's got Smoke On The Water, Big Leg Emma, and In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida going.

*"It's It" mentioned in my last post is a vanilla ice cream sandwich covered in chocolate, and more popular in San Francisco than Rice-s-Roni.

So, PennyCentury does listen to Vanilla Ice, after all!

Frontier9 hates Vanilla Ice, but has been known to take the rap for his mates.

Speaking of rap, rsg just wrote a new rap about a jelly making family called "Mother Smucker". It's quite a hit in the U.S.

Speaking of It's It and That's That, whenever someone asks GLt "What's that?" he inevitably replies "What's what?", even if he knows exactly what they are talking about. He just likes saying "What's what" at every opportunity. I guess that's that, then.

Mike knows all the words to ice ice baby.

he even rolls around in a 5 point 0 with the rag top down so his hair can blow.

SimonC was the inspiration for the kid that was supposed to kick Bart in the episode where the Simpsons visit Australia. Now that Simon has grown up, he plays the fiddle for the Swine River Valley Boys.

PC's home-made biscuits compelled Crocodile to adopt a surname during his visit to the US.

RSG frequently ponders the whole, Dick York vs Dick Sargent conundrum.

Esaaal always wanted to play lead in Bebitched.

RSG lives at The Offset Crossroads.

RSG's stage name is Larry Tate.

PC lives at the junction of form and function which is nice but she wishes there was a bus stop.

PC identifies with Gladys Kravits, JS, with Uncle Arthur.

Esaaal has been trying to channel Arfur Daley lately, but to no avail. If only Terry wouldn't mind so much.

Moggl has been channeling the young Tyne Daly. He's even beginning to look like her, and do some of her bits from Cagney and Lacey:

http://www.funrose.com/wp-content/uploads/Tyne-Daly.jpg

Meanwhile, back on Ballona Creek, TGFM does his best Cagney imitation:

Esaaal breaks out his best I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy dance on George M Cohen's and Cagney's B-days. He's also been searching for that Cagney signature Martin for years.

Tutm once "gave his regards to Broadway" but Broadway couldn't have cared less and never got back to him.

When the light's go out on Broadway it's usually Esaaal screwing around with his gear.

tutm came up with a less expensive way to satisfy his GAS:

http://www.southcoastbikes.co.uk/images/GearsExample1.jpg

TGFM has a lot of spare parts left over after his custom clockwork skateboard business went belly up.

TGFM has a lot of spare parts left over after his custom clockwork skateboard business went belly up.

Around these parts, we call it Steampunk.

http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/9577/steampunkguitar11.jpg

The ever thrify PC uses her houses steam radiators to cook various meals. It only takes 45 minutes to make a grilled cheese sandwich and 2 hours to warm the soup up. She's working a Turkey now, and hopes to have it ready by Thanksgiving.

yeah, Esaaal's been thinking about what kind of critter to serve on thanksgiving as well but the pickings have been pretty slim on the 2 lane in front of his house ever since the turnpike opened up a few miles west.

This is actually hman's Steampunk guit. He claims he gets the best tone using Evian. His bass player says that's cork-sniffin' silliness and tap water will do just fine.

http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/9577/steampunkguitar11.jpg

Hollowman is looking beyond Thanksgiving to Christmas. Just like Slim Pickens he is going into the Christmas tree business.

RmLAA2r4DlA

Mike thinks tap water goes just dandy with Scotch. A splash behind each ear and a chug on the bottle.

chez has sworn off Scotch because every time he drinks it he has an overwhelming urge to tap dance and it never turns out well.

TGFM has monopolized the aluminum Festivus pole market in Culver City. He's selling the Jerry Stiller signature model.

Having just consumed a lovely glass of Chateaus de Cardboard Cab Merlot, Boblets can but wonder at what PennyCentury has been drinking in order to imply that TGFM is a master of Monopoly.

Boblets often gets his box wine confused with his dry milk, making for an awfully powdery mess.

Balon Whyre's next lie will contain references to Baloney Creek, the Amazonian Rainforest, the Tigres and Euphrates Rivers and Sharon Gless. And the number 71.

Hoodie's next lie will refer to The Big Ant, The Big Apple, The Big Avocado, The Big Axe and The Big Banana. He will not mention The Big Golden Guitar.

T-Mike's next lie will include Aqua Velva, Blue Velvet, Cava Vena and Vanilla Ice

Hollowman has taken up a collection to buy Liz Mandeville a proper Telecaster, to replace that g*dforsaken Ibby RG series that she insists on playing.

hollowman's next post will be lingua franca in order to overcome variations in contextual vernacular.

Penny bought a Variax thinking she was going even more Esquire.

RSG hopes h-man's next post will never happen, what with that Frankish Lingo and all.

Moggl's next post will look something like this:

Is breá liom telecasters glas.

TGFM's next post will look something like this:

61549

It's OK though it is just his day job and he'd rather play full time.

TUTM plans to quit his day job and start a dude ranch.

It will incorporate a 5 star bunkhouse, a chuck wagon with a Michelin rating and a Longhorn and Armadillo petting zoo.

Venture capital is now being sought. Contact TUTM c/- poste restante Houston

chez is starting his own dude ranch - this herd is ready to be driven to market:

http://www.charlesroe.net/Images/Music/Dudes88.jpg

He's hoping to find some better breeding stock next year and raise some cool dudes.

Mike got his big movie break as Dana Carvey's body double.

7la_7P7H8Wg

ChzDlx started an Outback Dude Ranch. The guests found the porta-pottys too rural for their tastes. Dingo roping was a bit challenging for the elderly. Most passed on Wombat Fondu night. They did however comment that the late night Tele sing along was awesome while the batteries lasted.

<no lie> I just started a new thread in Bad dog Cafe called "Quotable Quotes" and TUTM has star billing. Some of the other liars might like to contribute. Cheers Gerry <no lie>

chez D is searching for everlasting internet fame. Fortunately for the rest of us he hasn't yet figured out how to upload video onto YouTube.

hollowman woke up in Kansas after watching a toto gig in Sydney OZ-tralia.

He decided to stay, seeing as though it was easier than explaining the aforementioned sentence.

* ( oh yeah and "hollowman" is his screen name only, he goes by the tin man IRL).

simon went back in time to 1931. He came back almost immediately. No teles and no telly.

tgfm once thought he would audition for Doctor Who, because wherever he went people would ask "who are you?"

Boblets once tried to audition for the part of Dr. Wen, but it wasn't science fiction and he wasn't Asian.

Esaaal is promoting his new soup with alleged aphrodesiac properties that he calls Miso Horny

PennyCentury walks up to random strangers in the street and asks, "Is it safe?"

Hoddie walks up to complete strangers and asks "Do you have a safe?" It's only when he follows them that the trouble starts.

Tuh-tum has a habit of casually walking into a bank and asking the cashier 'Which way to the safe?' while waving an obviously made-of-soap rifle.

Moggl keeps his safe in a safe in order to be doubly safe.

On this the occasion of my 2000th post I would like to thank all the small people who have helped me get here.

Moggl first, because he posted last. Otherwise I wouldn't have included him. TGFM has subsequently inserted himself while I was thinking all this up, but no matter, I probably wouldn't have included Moggl anyway.

PC out of deference to her linquistic skills and collection of odd guitars and especially her unique taste in pictures which seem to have no connectivity and a slight indication of another path back to Lucy.

TGFM What I said about Moggl and because he exudes a direct tie between Avocados and Buck Owens and it really works for me.

JP because he is so worldly and can actually visit Paris, France and Arlington, Texas in the same year without showing signs of serious brain damage.

ChzDlx because he desperatly wants to get rid of his criminal history; even though it is such a unique part of Oz. I think it may be the recent criminal history he is struggling with.

Hoodie because he is actually related to ChzDlx and has managed to keep it a secret. The only way you can tell is the commonality of their posts. It almost uncanny how one backs up the other's lies.

RSG because he exudes British Blues RAP and his continuing struggle to start another invasion of the colonies and make some serious Quid.

JS - Who routinely jumps in with a quick lie and then hastily retreats to his favorite hiding place in South Jersey shouting Forgetaboutit.

So many others that could be mentioned but I won't mainly because their lies about me were much too close to true. Also I'm old and forget people quickly.

<no lie> Thanks all this is still great fun. Much cheaper than an Analyst <no lie\>

<no lie>congrats on 2K!<no lie>

all the small people to TUTM are actually, well, small people. TUTM is 7'2" and punches in at 295 LBS. He does still barely fit into his Ford Festiva, although he could use a little more leg room

TUTM is in training for an Oscar acceptance speech.

<no lie.Congratulations to a new Friend of Leo <no lie>

ChezDeluxe secretly wishes he lived in New Zealand just so he can pronounce the word "Left" as "LEEEEEFT" .

<no lie>Congrats tutm!</no lie>

GregB is a distant cousin of simonc. Greg's family Americanized the family name when they first arrived in San Diego in the 1880s.

tgfmike's family simonized® their family name when they first arrived in Humptulips, WA in 1957.

F9's family Mercerized the family name in 1892 when they arrived at Aroostook Maine.

tgfmike bought and paid for tickets to the original Woodstock, but got confused and went to Aroostook instead.

The music sucked but the acid was better.

GregB is actually Greg Brady from the Brady Bunch. His "Johnny Bravo" character from the show got him interested in playing the guitar. Intrestingly, he still sings the same songs. PS. his "crush" on Marcia was all hype.

<no lie>Congrats tutm on your new-found friendship!</no lie>

Esaaal has vowed to replace all his 'Fender' decals with the 'Leo' ones he managed to rescue from a bunch of confiscated Chinese forgeries when he gets to 2000 posts.

rsg has a bunch of Leo astrological symbols for his teles. Those who are not up on symbology sometimes mistake the Leo symbols for the Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

Tgfmike was also formerly known as prince. This is the real reason Prince became that symbol for awhile until tgfmike was thru with the name.

BW was never formerly known. It's difficult to know for sure if he is presently known and in the future he will remain nameless. However he has a girlfriend named Barb.

tutm was famous in the '80s as Well-Known Willie, the Arkansas Warbler.

TGFM didn't know if he preferred to whistle while he worked or warble while he walked.

He eventually decided to whittle while he waffled.

Chezdex can chew bubble gum and walk at the same time but he can't hoot and holler nor can he swing and sway.

Esaaal can walk, chew gum, pat his stomach and play the Air Force Academy fight song. Not all at the same time, though.

TGFM can hit the spitoon from 40 feet and never miss a yodal when doing his Roy Rodgers tribute shows.

Tutm despises smokeless tobacco but he loves the ring the cans make in his jeans back pocket. To avoid buying skoal all together he now carries a hockey puck in his back pocket. Chicks dig it and his breath is minty fresh.

The girls are all disappointed when they discover it is only a puck in Esaaal's pocket. His claims that he is still pleased to see them fail to impress.

ChezDeluxe would rather not talk about the experiment with a urinal puck in his pocket. But his pants did always smell minty fresh.

GregB's response to Pucker-up left a lasting impression on his first date. Fortunately he and his dad had the talk the following weekend.

tutm enjoys dressing up for Halloween as Puck from A Midsummer Night's Dream.

In High School Mike was told he was made for the part of The Fool in King Lear.

ChzDlx actually has a Cask of Amontodillo that he is saving for the Annual Brisbane Poe in Oz festival; which coincides with Culver City's Shakespear Festival. As sister cities, TGFM and ChzDlx will be honoriers at each others event once again and for the 5th straight year will cross paths in midair. It seems they are destined to never meet.

tutm has set the story of Eleonora to music. He can't get his tele to sound dark enough to do it justice.

TGFM plays The Grand Wazoo backward (arranged for guitar and woodwind); he feels it has more texture that way.

PC rode The Grand Wazoo backward and, to the dismay of passengers seated to the rear of the carriage, was overcome by a wave of nausea; the resulting odour, colours and textures were indescribably poor in equal measure.

RSG's fabrications are always a version of a "Welsh compliment".

PennyCentury, when paid a compliment by any half decent looking man, immediately adopts a feminist stance informed by a hermeneutic of suspicion, and says " You talking to me?"

Boblets lets himself be informed by the music of Les Reed and Geoff Stephens.

T-Mike lets himself be informed by the music of Lou Reed and John Barleycorn.

PC has a legion of informers on retainer. Now if I could just figure out a plausible reason I would have a remarkable lie.

Boblets kept losing his retainer when he was a young sprout, so Father kept an orthodontist on retainer.

Prior to her orthodontia in her teenage years Penny was famous for being able to eat corn off the cob through the bottom of a caned chair.

Prior to her orthodontia in her teenage years Penny was famous for being able to eat corn off the cob through the bottom of a caned chair.
LOL!

All of the chairs in Chez's house are caned. It's quieter that way.

In Esaaal's house the endless debate storms on:
what kind of chair seat resonates better - ash, alder or mahogany?

JP because he is so worldly and can actually visit Paris, France and Arlington, Texas in the same year without showing signs of serious brain damage.


Ha! While my brain may have come back to WI unscathed, my wife thinks it looks pretty odd when I wear my French beret and scarf with my big oval-shaped belt buckle and cowboy boots. Go figure!

<no lie> Congrats on the 2000th post!</no lie>

Meanwhile, Frontier9 invented the resonating finger chair. He says that the vibration alone is enough to give him stimulative sensations, but not where most of you are thinking.

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/untitled-1.jpg

Jim P has nearly the same chair as above in his house, except it's a foot.

Esaaal is always a dollar short of a $5 footlong and can't understand why they won't cut him a deal. He uses the same reasoning everytime. "I can buy guitar strings one at a time, why can't I just have a 4 foot long?" They say "If we give you a 4 footer then you'll want three, then two, the one." To which he replies "And your point is?". The turnover at that particular Subway is really high.

Each month tutm goes on a drinking tour of Houston bars, giving new meaning to 12-bar blues.

TGFM never gets the blues. He blames the Prozac.

chez is always in a good mood, which he attributes to listening to Muzak for hours at a time.

Mike is such a happy guy he sings "Zippity-Do-Da" all day long while he works directly across from Victoria's Secret in the Culver City Downtown Mall. His co-workers are befuddled by how happy he is to be working at The Foot Locker.

Jim_P tried to route his Nocaster for a humbucker using a RotoZip saw. Anyone want to buy a Puzzlecaster?

PC has tied all her old strings into a Stainless Gordian Knot. She dares anyone to try and cut it with a sword let alone untie it.

tutankhamun - opps, I mean tutm measures all new strings with his trusty vernier calipers at 1" intervals to check for consistency and correct gauge prior to restringing his tele. Any inconsistency is immediately checked with his even more trusty micrometer. If still in doubt for consistency he will visit the science lab at his local university and run the suspect string through the Raman Spectroscopy machine. If the string fails to pass this final test, he will still use it because of his belief in frugality.

Boblets invented grilled cheese sandwiches in the form of a loaf. No cooking because they are self-heating. He's also the one that invented the automatic WC flusher and paper towel dispenser (but not in the same device). He's just completed the prototype for his latest, a Tele pickup dispenser.

PC invented the Tuli Kupferberg autopilot and GPS system. Instead of destinations, you enter departure locations.

Mike is now buying preowned lies from a Finnish website specialising in fugly translations.

Chez likes to combine and re-name other peoples inventions.

For example, he combined the recliner chair and toilet and called it "The Really Lazyboy". His vibrating electric tooth brush with whip like floss tenticles was named "Fhlosten Paradise" and his coffee flavored mouthwash is called "Valdezsterine". Most of Chez's inventions conceived in the bathroom.

Esaaal is the only person to have read completely all sixteen volumes of Big John's Bathroom Reader.

Word of advice: eat a bran muffin!

Penny likes to dress up like "LeeLoo" and ask her neighbor to borrow a cup of sugar while flashing a "multipass" card. She then cartwheels back home.

Esaaal likes to dress up as the Paddle Pop Lion and hang around milk bars...

http://johnnywestmusic.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/paddle-pop-lion.jpg

Hoodie secretly likes to dress up as Lady Gaga.

Jim_P attends and participates in Cosplay Conventions.

Penny (Nobody Expects The Spanish Inquisition) Century is handing out absolutions this Halloween instead of candy.

JS only deals in absolutes, so you're either with him or against him.

Mike believes in abssalutes and almost knocks himself out whenever he encounters acrylonitrile butadiene styrene.

RSG keeps a Wikipedia search window open when he reads this thread.

<no lie> but so do most of the rest of us </no lie>

Jim_P forgot to mention the European Men's Shoulder Bag along with the beret.
(ref: GEICO commercial)

RSG keeps a Wikipedia search window open when he reads this thread.

Yeah, but only to check the spelling when my spellchecker goes dumb on me...:wink:

PC carries hard copy of the entire Wikipedia site in her shoulder bag.

RSG's decision to take up golf has absolutely nothing to do with sport, exercise or socialising with others.

He just likes to see caddies carrying that big bag for him.

chez has carried a torch for many a lady, but only during power outages.

RSG never having been to an amusement park will often drive to the nearest roundabout and just drive around and around. Its not the same as a ride but he still feels exhilirated when he finally exits it.

Hmmm. Hardcopy, wikipedia, bags, amusement parks and roundabouts.

tutm's latest travel guide, World's Best Amusement Parks And Roundabouts is due out in hardcopy this December. According to tutm's wikipedia page, WBAPAR includes a section on the best bags for toting your necessities during your parks and roundabouts walking tours. I'm going to wait for the Kindle version.

So bad is tutm's memory that, on a recent trip to the UK, while his PA was driving to the hotel and familiarising herself with the road system and driving on the right side of the car and left side of the road, she inadvertantly drove round a roundabout three times and ol' tut' thought he'd been on a sightseeing trip through five counties!

tgfm is releasing his own version of Kindle, called Not Really, But Kinda

rsg has a digital PA that refuses to drive on the left side of the road. Luckily it has superhuman (being non-human) reflexes and actually gets away with that.