Make up a lie about the poster above you!

<no lie>JS just posted lie 11000!</no lie>

As a sign of his great respect for the Liars, JS likes to call them His or Her Excellency and has assigned several of us roles from the Gilbert and Carr musical of the same name:

The Prince Regent (lyric baritone) – chezdeluxe
Dame Hecla Cortlandt (contralto) – PennyC
George Griffenfeld (comic baritone) – HoodieMcFoodie
Erling Sykke (tenor) – telleutelleme
Dr. Tortenssen (baritone) – jim pridx
Mats Munck (comic baritone) – Moggl
Corporal Harold (bass) – redstringguitar
A Sentry (bass-baritone) – tgfmike
Another Sentry (comic baritone) – spikypaddy
First Officer (speaking role) – Esaaal
Second Officer (speaking role) – simonc
Third Officer (tenor) – GitHead

TGFM once played as a trio with Ferrante & Teicher, named "Mike and the Two Piano Guys". When he tried to steer them towards comic operas, they went their separate ways.

Originally posted by PennyCentury; <no lie>Clear Spot/Spotlight Kid are two albums [but one CD] that inspire my slide playing. (I'm soon to complete a PartsTele specifically set up for slide: StewMac elevated nut, oversize polepiece Tele bridge p'up, Esquire guard, maple neck, cherry sunburst body with white binding, Ernie Ball Not Even Slinky 12's)</no lie>

< no lie> Nice. What tuning or tunings are you using? Metal slide? <no lie>

spiky wants everyone to be named deluxe as he thinks each and every person is special. Please refer to spiky as Tresdeluxe in all further correspondence.

<no lie>As far as tuning, I am planning to use an open chord, maybe tuned down a whole step. I just bought the Peterson Strobe tuner software, so alternate tunings shoiuld be easier and more accurate. Ernie Ball glass slilde.</no lie>

TUTM started with Santo and Johnny when the act was named Telle U, Dave D, Dozy, Beaky, Mich and Tich

TUTM continues to play in the comic opera orchestra, but once he took over as band leader from TGFM, he made the following changes:

The Prince Regent (lyric baritone) – chezdeluxe - dumped for having too long of hair
Dame Hecla Cortlandt (contralto) – PennyC - Kept for her good looks
George Griffenfeld (comic baritone) – HoodieMcFoodie - Kept for being funny
Erling Sykke (tenor) – telleutelleme - current leader
Dr. Tortenssen (baritone) – jim pridx - Dumped for not being funny enough
Mats Munck (comic baritone) – Moggl - Dumped, couldn't make rehearsals
Corporal Harold (bass) – redstringguitar - Kept for unknown reasons, probably because he owns the P.A.
A Sentry (bass-baritone) – tgfmike - DUMPED BIG-TIME-didn't like Mike being the "big cheese"
Another Sentry (comic baritone) – spikypaddy- Kept, again, very funny, at least according to TUTM
First Officer (speaking role) – Esaaal - Kept, but demoted to private
Second Officer (speaking role) – simonc -Kept, but demoted to private
Third Officer (tenor) – GitHead - Dumped, TUTM didn't like the named GitHead...sounded too much like "S***head"

JP picked up all the ones dumped, stole PC for her slide skills and formed The Wisconsin Comedy Dump Ensemble.TGFM is still miffed. All the Brits and Germans are mad as hell about going from a tax free state like Texas to Wisconsin. Hoodie is just happy to have a GIG outside Brisbane.

TUTM just snapped.

Houston residents have been cautioned to remain indoors as crackling and popping are expected very soon.

chez chants" Snaaaaaap, craaaaaaaackle, poooooooooooop" in a Gregorian monotone while eating his breakfast cereal regardless of the brand. He's still miffed at being axed as the Prince Regent but will continue to refer to himself using the royal we.

JS is famous for his Snap, Crackle, Pop collection technique. Very few people who owe him money ever refuse. Most offer to pay even more Vig rather than discuss what SCP means. Unlike the Govenor, JS is extremely proud of Jersey Shores and how it portrays his lifestyle; albeit in his case that was a leisure suit or two ago.

tutm likes to go down to Rudyard's on Tuesdays for $3 Shiner drafts. He and the bartender have a little routine. Each time the bartender brings tutm the next round, he asks how tutm likes those Shiners. tutm grins in a froglike manner and says "Dig 'em" in a froglike voice. The bartender smiles and tutm collapses into giggles.

When Tutm giggles, Tgfmike wiggles. It's disturbing.

After tgfmike returned from his stint as "THE" go to session guy in London in early 1970,he co-founded the Children's Television Workshop and was an early booster of Kermit the Frog who had just applied for a job. Kermit's screen test was the scene tgfm describes above with Kermit playing the role of tutm.

dmarg and JS are both big admirers of the Weebles, who may wobble and yet don't fall down. What they really like is that Weebles never wiggle.


When Tutm giggles, Tgfmike wiggles. It's disturbing.
After the fourth Shiner, nothing is distubing.

Tgfmike has the world's largest collection of Pez dispensers in the images of his ex-girlfriends. That, too, is disturbing.

<No lie>been a bit out of this one during Saturday (UK time) due to a gig requiring an early set up and sound check - no cell coverage in the backwoods round here!</no lie>

Dmarg isn't very good at spelling. The username was originally supposed to be "Damage" but unfortunately it just didn't work out. Dmarg now uses the excuse that "it's based on the pronunciation used when saying 'damage' in a French accent.

Dmarg invented a copy of Pez which he calls BEZ. The candy is supplied in only one flavor, Bebbermint. The product will be endorsed in the UK by Mark "Freaky Dancing" Berry, also known as Bez "Bez" Bez.

Speaking of Shiners, TGFMike has been known to sport one from time to time.
'Course, he knows that beer isn't really classified as an authentic Bock.

PC ships Shiner's Bock by the case into New Hampshire. That plus Dixie Beer are her only concessions to those lost weekends in the South during the 90's. In the past TGFM had hinted at having some knowledge of those incidents, but rarely discusses anything now since Kermit left for the infamous backwoods of the UK. dmarg1045 says he would give a years supply of Bez Pez to hear the stories.

tutm was stopped by the poeleece doing one of his regular moonshine runs...and was also found to be DUI.
He clearly forgot the "don't mess with the merchandise" rule.

RSG once stopped a policeman to inform him of some suspicious goings-on in a nearby property. The local murder mystery evening group were delighted to have an element of realism added to the proceedings when the local armed response unit turned up with lights blazing and sirens flashing. The sweeney then charged RSG with wasting police time.

spiky imports 4 tons of sand into his flat every Friday night for "Beach Party Bingo". It takes the cleaning lady 5 days to vacuum it out again.

Esaaal likes to stock up on cardboard cut outs of bikini-clad lovelies. It means that when he joins in my beach party bingo evenings, he has something cute to ogle in between games. Incidentally, Esaaal's also the only person I've ever known try to cheat at bingo!

<No lie>Thought it only right to be "made up" to Mr Fender's buddy on the Liar's thread, thanks to all you fellow liars for putting up with me thus far.</no lie>

It's a well known fact that bingo is getting younger, spikypaddy now sports the only blue rinse at his local community hall.

RSG is no longer allowed to attend events or functions in his local community hall. The lawsuit involving inadequate provision of picking facilities for banjo players.

< no lie> Congratulations on 2000 rsg!<no lie>

Sorry no lie. Haven't had my tea yet.

RSG is working with the US Mashantucket Pequot Tribe to establish an Indian High Stakes Bingo Hall in Caerdydd, introducing their innovations to the British Isles. As a newly minted "Friend of Leo's", the majority of the prizes will consist of Fender gear, along with "Fender Cash", redeemable at local music shops. RSG is hoping to start a music-playing trend among the OAP's, claiming that nothing is better for arthritic hands than playing a fretted instrument.

Ben-Gay arthritis ointment has "relic'd" most of Penny's gits. She doesn't have arthritis, she just likes the smell.

Esaaal is convinced that the only way to get that really "Tight" twang sound is to rub Hemmoraid on the fretboard. The local pharmacist can't help but wonder at the number of tubes he buys.

<no lie> Congrats on 2000 RSG<no lie\>

tutm is a frequent customer at Teeter Creek Herbals, where he buys Hrt-Tone by the case. He thinks Hrt stands for Hot rod tele.

<no lie>Congrats rsg!</no lie>

Mike needs all the hormone replacement therapy he can get. He has been complaining all summer about the heat but it's really "flushes"

Well done RSG.

Chzdlx is going through Telepause and often gets Red Hot Flashes, set sweats and screams at his bandmates. He's says it started in his 20's and he's hoping he will outgrow it soon.

Tutm spends 43 percent of his day in a hammock.

Esaaal spends 43% of his day planning the other 57%. 2% of the 43% is spent helping tutm plan his day. His Liars Thread posting time comes out of a special block of time he set aside for special circumstances and entertainment that amounts to 17% of the general daily use 57%.

...claiming that nothing is better for arthritic hands than playing a fretted instrument.

True, but the copper frets wear out in no time....not to mention all those green fingers.

Esaaal boils ham hocks and sells them at 43 cents a pop.

JS is proud of his State...even his dog has a new jersey:

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4041/4395331235_204a55dfb6.jpg

RSG is known as the troubador of Wales. It is believed that he taught Sir Tom Jones everything he knows about being a performer. Although the rumours involving sheep (both inflatable and real) are unfounded, the ones about having granny underwear thrown at him onstage are, however, true.

spikypaddy dumped his gf because she was too demanding and he couldn't get to Exit 'er for the gig.

Ba-dum-tish! I like that one!

RSG has a similar Exeter/Exit 'er based story, but this is a family forum, so the exact details can't be recounted here for fear of disturbing the children. It's also better not recounted on an open forum due to the questionable legalities surrounding the acts in question.

spikypaddy is like a crystal clear night sky and GPS all rolled into one.

RSG cannot pass a fish tank with tapping on the glass.

The entire exchange between spiky and rsg just prior to this post was written , narrated and produced by Eric Idle's production company Fromage de Jour for an upcoming BBC radio play.

JackStraw is currently responsible for PR on behalf of both Fromage de Jour and Eric Idle. He likes to mix business with pleasure while on TDPRI.

spiky was once personal veterinarian to the Empress of Blandings. Lord Emsworth tossed him when he recommended the Empress lose some weight.

TGFM, a self-proclaimed Royalist, refuses to eat Hamburger unless his wife tells him it is Salisbury Steak. Hotdogs at the local MLS games are Bangers and his Costco beer purchases are scratched out and Guiness is stenciled on the cases. All his e-mails are closed with Cheerio Mate. Spiky and RSG humor him because he has a van, owns a strobe tuner, the PA and knows more drummers than the anyone should.

Tutm taught a dog to play twister

That same dog felt bad for Esaaal and let him win.

Frontier is totally into all things Jersey, including:

Jersey, the British crown dependency off the coast of Normandy.
Earl of Jersey
HMS Jersey
Hockey jersey, part of a hockey player's uniform
Jersey, Georgia
Jersey, a Canadian ska punk band
Jersey, a garment for the torso
Jersey, a soft elastic material
Jersey, the reference implementation of the JAX-RS specification
Jersey barrier, a wall separating lanes of traffic
Jersey cattle, a common breed of dairy cattle
Jersey City, New Jersey
Jersey County, Illinois

He just can't stand Jersey Airport, though, for some reason.

Mike prefers the Isle of Man to Jersey and loves all things Manx such as...

Manx Cats
Harry Manx
Manx Dune Buggies
Manx Three Legs flag
Manx Parliament(oldest in the world)

and especially Manx Norton motorcycles which he thinks sound amazingly like Broadcasters

ZDYFpspScos

chzdlx created the sound track for the above video by drumming on Tupperware.

RSG throws regular Tupperware parties. Unlike most ordinary Tupperware parties, these involve the individuals in question arriving dressed as lunch boxes. Lady Gaga is a big fan.

Paddy was the one who spiked the blackboard in Emmerdale just to see the Daily Fail whinge.




// EDIT: Whoever was behind that brilliant hoax deserves a medal or twenty.

spikypaddy arrived at RSG's last Tupperware party late, having had too much lunch and being unable to get his lid on...Lady G was amused.

Moggl has blackboards in his kitchen and bathroom to list relevant items which need to be purchased on shopping trips...some bright spark switched the boards, resulting in Moggle having the worst meal in his life and savoury piles.

RSG spent the weekend clearing out his kitchen cupboards, removing all the out of date food stuffs. Because he's an organised sort of chap, this resulted in two piles of food and condiments ready for the bin; a savoury pile and a sweet pile.

Paddy has head lies

after midnight, simonc gonna let it all hang down

Esaaal loves playing "simonc says"

Hoodie just loves being a "Playa". He hopes to bring the Jersey Shores to Oz, but the local surfers are none too keen on the idea. BTW- his cupboard is empty, so Simon Says.

Having recognized that the current demand for classic Tupperware is for what might be called authentic closet classics with very little signs of wear, tutm has been going to yard sales, buying up '50s and '60s Tupperware and 'restoring' it with 0000 steel wool and Dunlop Formula 65. This has turned into a profitable sideline for him.

tgfmike cleaned out his fridge over the weekend and discovered he had some vintage tupper ware tucked away in the back... he thought he would sell it on ebay, but the stench from a 40 year old tuna salad killed that idea

tgfm has been predicting a sub-prime Tupperware bubble for months.

Esaaal got bored with Tupperware and has moved on to Tupper' s Self-Referential Formula (http://mathworld.wolfram.com/TuppersSelf-ReferentialFormula.html).

TGFM once lost a job at Princeton because failed to clean off the math problems some jerk wrote all over the windows there.

Mike got tired of math counting out change for a quart of Schlitz Malt Liquor.

Esaaal has never lost a job. You have to have one before you can lose one.

When GH gets bored, he builds himself a new ash Galton Board (http://mathworld.wolfram.com/GaltonBoard.html) and then spends days watching the balls accumulate in a binomial distribution.

Mike can solve the Rubics cube faster than any living human....in his dreams.

GH has allowed some technology into his life:

Esaaal rejects all technology prefering primitive camping and moonshine.

Just by counting all his fingers and toes Esaaal can add to 24.

That's 5 more than githead who had a camping accident with a hatchet.

chez is very clever and can count to 30 using just his ten fingers.

Chezdeluxe has more fingers than toes. If you include thumbs, he has more fingers than I have guitar strings... Including the ones on my four guitars... And the couple of spare sets.

don't ask spiky to count to 21, he's MORE than happy to show you..

Esaaal lost count a few years back. He's restarted several times but it keeps happening.

tutm's favorite Count is Alexandre de Lesseps.

Like Renfield, TGFM enjoys a tasty bug now and then..

Esl's favorite count is 1-2-3.

Incorrect sir! I was always a Count Chocula fan.

When TGFM mumbles, he sounds like the Hamburgler.....

Esaaal does the mumble voice for Boomhauer on King of the Hill.

Road King invented the machine that made Anthony Kiedis sound like Homer Simpson on By The Way.

Homer Simpson is RSG's role model idea of a great father and husband, with Al Bundy as a very close second. RSG especially loves the mumbling that takes place when these two fictional TV characters become humiliated by their wives. "But, it's a 'mumble' in a good way," he says. "I do it all the time!"

jp thinks Mumbles is way overrated and that Pruneface and Itchy are far superior villains. His very favorite though, is Flattop. jp loves Flattop so much that he has insisted on having a flattop haircut since he was five.

Mike uses flattops for drum emulation.

Both Moggl and Mike use Brylcreem...yes, believe it or not, Brylcreem to keep their flattop haircuts in check.

Disclaimer: This product is not to be confused with acoustic guitars or anything affiliated with acoustical musical instruments.

WZI0pSlUBd0

Jim lost his mind at woodstock 94' when primus playes his favorite tune of all time.
he was later found in the parking lot wandering around with a sign that said " cheese me?".

Jim uses empty Brylcreem jars for drum emulation.

SimonC has been called before the TDPRI judiciary and could suffer a 3 game suspension from the liars thread.

Moggl says it is Simon's own fault for engaging in dirty play... Imagine, posting a video featuring banjo playing.

chez kept me locked in his garage for two weeks in an attempt to stop me lying about him. I got out though, that was easy... getting back to England was the hard bit.

getting back to England was the hard bit.

True enough! Batman was placed on a "no fly list" because of his support of Hummus.

Batman would just fly home but he gets distracted everytime he passes a bug.

Esaaal doesn't fly. He prefers to travel by Big Wheel.

Esaaal was placed on a "no fly list". He's strictly a Levi's 501 guy.

chez is very clever and can count to 30 using just his ten fingers.

<No Lie> I can count to 1023 using just my 10 fingers. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finger_binary)</No Lie>

Hoodie can theoretically count to 1048575 if he uses his fingers and toes, but he always makes a mistake around 131000 and has to start over.

GitHead can count to 2097151 using his fingers and toes and often does.

tgfm can count as high as he likes using other peoples fingers. He would prefer not to use other peoples toes. He tried using beans but ended up baking them in a casserole with some Texas Tommies.

JS was astonished to find that in Texas they call Texas Tommies Jersey Joes and use Canadian bacon. JS got pretty upset that Texans were attributing that mess to Jersey.

TGFM mistakenly placed Canadian Bacon in Texas. He failed the geography test and was set back two grades. He also said Moscow and Paris were in Nevada, but now knows they are actually in Texas.

TUTM is not aware that anything exists beside Texas. This is not uncommon among Texans, however TUTM has never even set foot outside of Texas, convinced he might burst spontaneously into flames

Give Hollowman a magnifying glass and an anthill and he'll be occupied for days.

Give Esaaal a lighter and a can of hairspray and he can alter an eco-system.

Esaaal got bored with Tupperware and has moved on to Tupper' s Self-Referential Formula (http://mathworld.wolfram.com/TuppersSelf-ReferentialFormula.html).

TUTM will be booking parties to sell the latest in marital aids, SHTUPPERWARE

"Paris" is also in Maine,
"Berlin" and "Milan" are also in New Hampshire, which is, incidentally,
home to the only Henniker on earth.

Penny LOVES parties and can't wait for TUTMs invite.

GH is investigating the use of Cayley Lines (http://mathworld.wolfram.com/CayleyLines.html) in his iPad app that generates counterpoint lines for traditional Ohio folk tunes. The only result so far is that GH has a headache.

TGFM uses Dowsing Rods to find his martini.

Githead is amazed at the lingerie and marital aids parties being held in his neighbourhood.

He can't understand the attraction of flannellette pyjamas and steam and dry irons.

Mike and Esaaal on the other hand moonlight at such parties as models.

Chez loves marital aids parties too and admires them from the bushes while peeping through a window.

All of Githead's neighbors have been clamouring for him to host another Avon party as their supply of soap on a rope is running low.

JS says if you're going to hold a cosmetics party, you should join the 21st century and sign up with Mary Kay.

JS has been heavily involved with pyramid marketing schemes since the 70's. he has all the soaps that Githead could ever want. Plus all the tupperware, shtupperware, amway, arbonne, avon for a lifetime

hollow has been selling shares in the pyramids since the '80s, complete with certificate of ownership.

mike has been living in a pyramid since the early 1580's. He quite likes it, but is deathly afraid of the south-west corner.

JS says if you're going to hold a cosmetics party, you should join the 21st century and sign up with Mary Kay.

hoodie has been so successful with his Mary Kay Distributorship, he has been awarded the Mary Kay Telecaster along with the pink Tolex DRRI!

hoodie keeps his glass eye in a small secret compartment of a pyramid shaped container on the nightstand next to his bed while he sleeps. I may have unwittingly placed myself and others in grave danger for revealing this secret of secrets but time is running short and there is much to do.

for some reason, Penny has 18 prom dresses that she has saved from 18 different junior and high school dances. JackStraw sold her 7 of those dresses.

When Penny received her 1980 white Cadillac Seville for her remarkable sales achievements she tried to trade it for the MK Tele and Deluxe but the board of directors thougt it was bad form and told her to be happy with what she got and she would not be permitted dessert in the headquarters cafeteria for a week.

and after 18 junior high and High school dances Penny still will not dance with Esaaai

Niprock is tough, but fair.

Esaaal did the alterations on every one of Penny's prom dresses and when asked if he had a favorite replied the one done in lemon chiffon crepe with a Yak wool collar.

JS keeps a Yak, more for the smell than the milk (which he does enjoy in the proverbial Yak-butter Tea, which he first enjoyed while on secret assignment in Tibet).

Funny thing about Tibet, it has no resources to exploit, so most other nations have no interest in it. (except for the Himalayan Salt, which actually originates in Pakistan)

Here's PC in her carefully restored Yak-3, flying in formation with the Dali Lama last year in Denmark -

http://www.ctrl-c.liu.se/misc/ram/yak-3m.jpg

The picture above is actually of Mike flying a Yak. The arrow on the side is to remind him of the direction he needs to fly in.

Spiky doesn't need to be reminded of the direction he's heading in under any circumstances, for he's purchased a Mickey Mouse compass that never lets him down.

Jim was once mistaken for Elvis. He said he could understand the man making the mistake, but wasn't sure how the seeing-eye dog managed to get it so wrong.

Spiky had to give up his job as a cat burgler because he was allergic.

Esaaal was once an up and coming folk music talent that called himself Burnt Innards and if KISS wouldn't have taken the makeup thing to the top so quickly it would have caught on in folk music and then that nobody Bob Dylan wouldn't be a star. I just know it says he.

Road King to this day will not accept the fact that the members of KISS are mere mortals

Niprock is so cool for giving me all his guitar gear and devoting his life to his new passion: ping pong.

zd es yust zo ned out, ze zon ov rober out, ze famus bazzist. ned isselv no plez nussing.

Mike is high again. Please ignore him for trying to make sense out of something as simple as being "zoned out."

jp spent a decade, starting in 1968, "turned on, tuned in and dropped out". He finally discovered there was no money in it and got into brokering large-scale deals in Krugerrands. Now his motto is "invest, sit back, retire".

......... got into brokering large-scale deals in Krugerrands. Now his motto is "invest, sit back, retire".

You got that right, my fellow friend! Mike has been my primary investor, and he's one hell of a rich SOB. It's no wonder he has so much time to spend on the TDPRI. How's that new custom-body-cut, Tele-shaped surf board working out for you?

Jim has a great sideline ever since the price of gold jumped.

He has the official Reno franchise on buying expired wedding rings.

CD is currently profiting from his latest Cats For Gold scheme

http://www.catsforgold.com/

PC has invested heavily in a cat farm after a good friend informed her that cats make nice companions for Jack Russell dogs. She expects to make a killing.

Boblets, deliberately uses a Victorian accent in Queensland, throwing his freinds and neighbors into a aggitated state. Crikey, those bloody Victorians are such wanker$.

Esaaal once attempted to become Victorian. He said it was OK, apart from the fact that all of those high colours an dstarched shirts were rather uncomfortable.

http://www.techlink.org.nz/student-showcase/materials-soft/images/carly1.jpg

spiky tells anyone who will listen that he lived in the Shire, knew the Bagginses quite well,catered Bilbos eleventy eleventh birthday party and would have gone off with Frodo and Sam if he wasn't afraid of the dark and asked them if they could wait until sunup to depart.

JS once slew a hideous beast and is now blogging from prison as that beast was his ex.

GitHead has no profile.

http://www.uganda.co.il/catalog/images/githead_profile1.jpg

Jkingma was a rather randy child and when he asked for a "bit o honey" he didn't want a candy bar.

Esaaal loves to contemplate the Hadwiger Problem. Not because he's fascinated by the mathematics - he just likes to repeat 'Hadwiger' until it starts to sound strange.

Esaaal once milked his cat with a machine made up of old string ferrules.

tgfm is good at mathematics, he solved the constipation problem...worked it out...with a pencil.

RSG has never been very good with mathematics, nor has he ever solved the constipation problem.

They say alot of people resemble stars in some way. Unfortunately JP resembles Nick Noltes mug shot.

hollowman is a member of 1702 internet forums. His first thread is always "If you were a dinosaur, what kind would you be and why??"

hollowman taking a page from the pawn shops advertises that he buys broken teles. Someone sent him a hand painted gold squier tele with a broken neck in a pre-paid gig bag and wanted $500. He offered them $50 and they took it. He's hoping for a guest spot on the Pawn Shop Stars reality show.

Tutm likes to rock Van halen and Ozzy in his minivan when he runs errands. He get's 'em done faster that way.

Esaaal is tring to obtain permission to use this James Rosenquist painting for his debut CD, Ford/Noise/Boy-ar-dee

http://a.imageshack.us/img842/3796/rosenquist1.jpg

Penny wishes that Calgon would actually take her away..

Esaaal was taken away by the Klingons and returned 11 hours later. He never talks about it.

Tgfm speaks fluent Spanish, French, Itailian and Klingon. He has fun translating Star Trek episodes to his buddies, Miguel, Pierre and Luigi.

Until the abduction incident, Esaaal always assumed that Klingons were something rather unpleasant that one should not discuss in polite company...

Spiky was the first case of "alien giveback".

Esaaal has this slightly embarrassing... Oops sorry no time to post. I have to go to work. Bye.

Esaaal was what the aliens gave back to me. They said he was the most disappointing abductee they'd ever encountered.

Spikeypaddy is constantly posting right before me. His power to read my every move and know exactly what I'm thinking at all times is starting give me the creeps......"I am not Spikey, I am NOT paranoid!!!!.....SEE, HE'S DOING IT AGAIN......

Hoodie McFoodie wants us to believe that he actually has a job!!!

SpikyPaddy thought he was abducted by aliens, but then he sobered up and realized he was in Arizona

Hollowman has perfected the simultaneous post.

The Klingons shipped RK to Arizona via parcel post. They had to cut him up into three parts to stay below the weight limits and it cost them $150.51. The Klingons were ROFL and thought it was well worth the trouble and cost. RK was not amused - he doesn't like Arizona.

Mike once had an unpleasant experience while riding a tractor beam. He was suffering from a bout of gastric flu at the time and the spaceship ended up very messy.

chez had an unpleasant experience riding a spice harvester on the planet Arrakis, he remembered he left the kettle on and they wouldn't take him back. He was later devoured by a Sandworm so the kettle was forgotten for the moment.

JackStraw had an unpleasant experience whilst light-surfing just outside of the gravitational pull of the plant Ffarg. He suddenly remembered he'd left the landing light on and knew he was going to return to find a deeply depressing electricity bill on the door mat.

Spiky likes to service the bilge pumps on the "Nostromo". Servicing the bilge wasn't a time consuming affair so in his spare time he trained a rather large and shiny rat to bring him his tea and scones the morning. Everything was going great until chest pains got him kicked off the ship.

Esaaal has in fact surfed with the Alien.

RK prefers the Ferengi to Klingons - the Ferengi are just so cute and so much fun.

TGFMike is recruiting for a B52's tribute group. RoadKing is going to do the hairstyling.

penny is working on her keyboard skills and beehive doo so she can audition

Hollowman lies in this thread to keep himself full of, well.....you know what.

Penny had to mention B-52s right after the pic of her Yak-3. Now simon has his heart set on having his own personal aircraft:

[http://www.aerospaceweb.org/aircraft/bomber/b52/b52_04.jpg

Mike like's b52's so much that he once got so drunk on them, now even the smell of irish cream makes him dry wretch

Simon,Simon,Simon you're back on the Kahlua/Southern Comfort shandies aren't you?

Chez invented the Irish Car Bomb. the only cocktail that makes you sick before you drink it.

Chez likes to make up names for imaginary drinks and then order them at the local saloon. He enjoys seeing the perplexed looks from bartenders when he orders a Brisbane Banana Hammock or a Kahlua Chunder Bucket. The last laugh was on him once when he asked for and got a shot of Coral Reef Great White.

Penny is no better. She orders drinks with names that make the bartenders blush.

Esaaal is too shy to order the Drop My Drawers And Have Your Way With Me... on ice

that's:

1 1/2 measures Cognac
3/4 measure kiwi syrup
1/4 measure mandarin liqueur
1/4 measure chocoolate liqueur
1 tablespoon light cream
fig leaf

stir the first four ingredients over ice, strain into a cocktail glass.
carefully pour the cream in a layer over the top and garnish
with the fig leaf.
Toss all this aside, and down a double shot of Jeremiah Weed bourbon.

PC's 'Backfire' recipe:

A pint of Jeremiah Weed
A quart of Grumpy Troll

Consume the above as quickly as possible, then jump into one of these, throw on the afterburners and attempt to break the sound barrier while still below 200 feet of altitude:

http://www.military-today.com/aircraft/tupolev_tu-22m_backfire.jpg

TGFM has some fear of flying and so far, has only joined the "200 foot" club.

As a young man Esaaal was pretty sure he could fly. Mutiple attempts at flight resulted in a slight limp and some stammering.

55293

"Stammering" is the name of the activity that Tutm created when he invented the Staple-Hammer Gun. His most useful invention to date.

Esaaal stutters and stammers wildly when "excited", or so I've heard.

Road Rex's favorite extreme sport is running through the woods wearing a Blackglama Coyote coat with two twigs duct taped to his head during Deer season.

JS and his .44 make leggo-my-eggo deadly business.

GH thinks that "faux" is the number after 3...

Esaaal thinks this band may have a future if they can just keep writing those catchy tunes.

pmhDCIftfdA

chez wonders if a faux foe is a friend.

The "T" in tgfmike stands for Tenacious.

Esaaal is one of the Urban Hamsters in the KIA Soul ad.

kfJnqbudMzs

The triple a in Esaaal stands for acute aphasic agrammatism.

PC needs another NHD (new hamster day)

Each time rsg starts a new tele build, he likes to put on his Bob the Builder hardhat, shout "All right everybody, let's get to work!", and pretend his tools can talk.

http://www.puzzlesolutions.com.au/images/Floor%20Puzzle%20photos/Bob%20-%20Lets%20get%20to%20work.JPG

Mike played the role of Commodore Schmidlapp in the film Batman.
He made quick enemies of Adam West on set, after using his "babe magnet" spray, which Adam had stashed away for weekend use....Mike got all the babes, but insisted it was the result of his nautical themed hat, as opposed to any CFC powered hijinks.

simon wishes he could score some babes. frustrated by the lack of suitable babes down under, he recently joined an online dating service, only to discover that his perfect match was.... Chet

Any mention of seamen to simonc must be qualified by nautical terminology.

SimonC enjoys suspending willing-suspension-of-disbelief to poke holes in various of pop culture's "realities".

http://a.imageshack.us/img213/5100/celebritypicturesdenver.jpg

Penny has a secret crush on Fred.

The "G" has a "g-string" fetish: hence his handle! While he may use Fred Flinstone as a decoy for whatever purposes, his true passion lies in how Fred attacks and plays his own "g-string" on his very own Tele. Please note, however, that "The G" has included an adult cover charge for all fellow liars to enjoy the animated version of Fred's newly released and very "too hot to handle" show.

Jim-Pridx has made up his own terminology for passing wind. He calls it, "Air on a G String"

Hoodie started an online business selling air guitars and air drums in OZ. It's surprising the number of sales he's made.

TUTM has a sideline selling his own homemade Armadillo chili.

PC has a "this way up" sideline on her Tele which runs between the strap buttons. It's there to remind her she's right-handed.

PC's twu indicator is from rsg's new line of twu decals. So far he has tele, strat and milk carton models.

tgfm raises eyebrows from Culver City to Compton with a big yellow button he wears on his lapel that says "Teles, Love'm or be a Frickin Moron". It was the nicest way he could think of to convey his feelings on the subject.

Road King wants to be the King of the Road and is the president of the Roger Miller Fan Club for Women.

Back in the '60s, Jonathan Winters always got jk to stand in for the Maude Frickert bits. jk still remembers the thrill of hugging Dean Martin:

Wfx4Sf5HcP8

Tfjm likes to start out shows by saying "Hello my name's Mike and I'm the Mayor of Coolville". It gives chicks goosebumps when he does that.

All the chicks in RK's freezer have goosebumps.

RSG calls David Bowie "the other Davy Jones". But Bowie never returns the calls. Eno called him once, but it was a wrong number.

PC is pretty sure that David Bowie will not be remembered 174 years after his death the way Jim Bowie is and DB's refusal to return rsg's calls is just silly.

Mikes phone answering announcement is pure Jibber Jabber.

He recites an old knitting pattern he found in a 1950s magazine. "Knit one,purl one,knit two,purl one......."

No-one leaves a message.

chez's answering machine message is much cooler than mine. He says, "Hello, this is chez, please cast on 98 stitches to start." Everyone always leaves a message, usually variations on "WTF chez!" or "Time to change your message, don't you think?"

tgfm enters his office every morning by bursting through the door at a full run screaming "Remember the Alamo!!!!" It used to freak out rest of the staff but they're long since used to it now. "It still fires me up for the day" says Mike.

RK likes to start his day at the Alamo Bar and Grill - the one in Agoura Hills. Later he checks out the latest used-to-be-great band at the Canyon Club. He gets back to Rockwall on the weekends.

TGFM once used Alamo Car Rental. His wife loves to tell about the freeway wreck caused by that little Pinto and the subsequent fuel tank explosition. She loves to end the story with "He will always remember the Alamo; both the car explosion and the freeway backup that lasted 4 hours". It always gets a laugh from everyone except TGFM.

TUTM refuses to give TGFMike the recipe for Raisin Pie. In retaliation, Mike refuses to ship the original David Mann painting that TUTM won on Mike's eBay auction. Meanwhile, RoadKing continues work on his billet aluminum Tele, Chez is working on earning his patch, Jim_P is finishing the clubhouse, Hollowman is preparing a run of official LIARS botas, SimonC is welding the frame for the Super Reverb trike, Esaaal is having the last of his sleeve tats completed, and all I have to look forward to is the Poker Run.

I blame Mike for his mention of Agoura Hills and the link in my mind to the editorial office of Paisano Publications, and all that liver quiverin' jazz.

<no lie> ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, we have a winner for the use of most liars in a continuous lie, PC we stand humbled in the glow of your greatness<no lie>

PC tried the whole MIT thing, hung out with Warhol's, Picasso's, Segovia's, and great authors of the world, whose names escape me for the moment, but she found them all so boring and unimaginative that she began a search for intellectual and artistic stimulation that finally ended on this very forum and on this very thread. Now she falls into bed each night, spent and satisfied with a Mona Lisa smile on her face.

RK thinks Picasso is overrated and Warhol was a hack. The true artistic genius of the 20th century in RK's mind was Dali. RK admires Salvador so much, he has grown a mustache in the style of the master.

Mike was most concerned about PC's comments on a "Poker Run".

Is "Penny Century" code for a 1%er. He doesn't know if Esaaal's sleeve tatts are drip-dry or dryclean only. Just where is JP's Wisconsin clubhouse (is there contraband cheese?) and does the patch really say Ride To Lie , Lie To Ride ?

RoadKing's reference to MIT surely refers to Motorcyclists In Texas .Maybe TUTM's Silverado only has 2 or 3 wheels. Hollowman is an enigma (fully pledged). Does botas mean "Bikers on Triumphs and Sidecars" and just why is Simon called "The Welder"?

Mike has shaken it all off. He and Mrs. TGFM are off to a Vespa Alliance Concourse d'Elegance.

The patch that Chez is working hard to earn is actually a very special patch cable - platinum plated, signed by Leo Fender and with solid gold wiring throughout.

spikypaddy goes to the gym regularly but has really not made much progress due to his habit of using a skateboard when he goes on the treadmill.

Batman ritually washes all of the exercise equiptment at his local gym so all of the patrons will be purified in body as well as spirit. He is known simply as Der Fledermaus of the Cleansing Saphire Mist.

JS is renouned for thinking "In the Box". Some of his most memorable thoughts were in the 70's while actually talking to the Jack-in-the-box Clown in the wee hours of the morning.

Batman finally started back at the gym when he and Robin could not fit in the Batmobile.

Please someone tell PC if she would quit cheating she wouldn't have to do those Poker Runs.

Spiky says "Patches, I don't got to show you no stinkin patches"

Sorry TGFM, anything but the Raisin Pie, even JP's Date Nut and Cheese loaf.

tgfmike has overcome his tdpri addiction and can go for weeks without posting to the liars thread.

jim pridx was last seen driving his Winnebago towards Saskatchewan. Only jp and his shrink have any idea why.

GitHead has spent so much time crouched down to his son's level that he is beginning to think the world consists of knees and ankles.

Moggl stopped showing off his green tele because the rest of us were so envious that we became angry and it showed in our lies.

HoodieMcFoodie is glad to have an excuse to cut back on his lying - it was just so against his nature.

PennyCentury lies about her age. She claims to be 100 and she's actually only 98.

telleutelleme doesn't actually tell anyone anything, especially himself.

chezdeluxe consistently rushes the beat.

redstringguitar consistently beats the rushes.

Esaaal is offbeat.

simonc is often down under, if you know what I mean.

spikypaddy is without question the champion paddy spiker in all the world. He is also the only paddy spiker in all the world.

JackStraw gave up politics to become a roadie for Janelle Monae. He takes care of her costumes.

Joel Terry built a faster-than-light vehicle, traveled into the past or maybe the future, and is trapped in an infinite time loop, reliving liar posts 8972 through 9011 forever.

"If you use anything but the bridge pup on your Tele then you're a wus", so says the man.
Also know as TGFM.

<no lie> I just finished mowing an acre and a half in this Texas heat and in my half heat stroked condition I'm only capable of one lie at a time, sorry to end the streak<no lie>

RK is also known as "Johnny Fire Ant Seed". He is the world's only Fire Ant breeder. RK likes to roam from town to town in search of customers for his Fire Ant business but he has managed to have the world's only product that has no buyers. The ants are busy little breeders and so as RK roams he inadvertantly releases the obnoxious little critters where ever he goes.

Esaaal will never be one fo RK's fire ant customers, but he does have a very strange and weird fascination for earwigs.

JP follows Roadking around selling little Fire Ant condoms so the little buggers won't breed. He claims he can teach people how to put them on without getting stung.

tutm bought 500 acres of land north of El Paso thinking he would start an Ant farm. Problem was every time he would plant a row of Ants, they would dig themselves out and walk away rather than stay put and grow.

JS is the only person besides j_p who has successfully, um, installed a fire ant condom.

tgfmike had a killer party on the weekend with all his friends

Niprock has cooperated with the Ontario Lottery Commission on the development of an energy reclamation system powered solely by the friction generated by Ontarians rubbing off the coatings of scratch tickets.

PC is beginning to think Planck's constant might vary occasionally, under the right circumstances. She also thinks Heisenberg was right to be uncertain. With those two thoughts in mind, she advises everyone to always eat dessert first.

TGFMike says to play the chorus first, then the instrumental break, and then if there is anyone left in the audience, sing some verses.

For funk, just play the groove until your hand cramps up.

ref: GTV207

For funk, just play the groove until your hand cramps up.

<no lie> +1 <no Lie\>

PC plays through the pain going from funk to country and back again. She is truely a cross-over artist. That is until she started doing children's Gigs. You know "I am cute, you are cute we all are cute" Even with the T-Burnett grove, it changed her and the kids aren't doing so well either.

TUTM tried to get on the kiddies party circuit but for some reason "Letter Edged in Black" failed to impress.

chez was in the Circus Circus (the one in Vegas, not the one in Reno) house band in the mid '70s. They had to let him go when he started interrupting the big dance numbers asking, "Why Circus Circus? Isn't that so redundantly redundant?"

<no lie> In 1968, at a one off charity event, I appeared in a circus as a clown riding a penny-farthing bicycle and crashed into the lion cage. The lion was grumpy that day. :shock:<no lie>

Mike loves "The life of Brian" so much that whenever someone mentions Circus Maximus he thinks of Biggus Dickus and starts to snicker and talk with a lisp.

chezdeluxe is the proud inventor of wonder 21st century products, the Snuggie and Earbags.

Hoodie wears Ugg Boots to church as well as to the pub. He thinks this makes him an a-politic Epicurean.

riding a penny-farthing bicycle

Boblets thought that Penny used a disgusting method to power her Schwinn.

Esaaal dreams of the day that there are soviet-style "breadlines" waiting to snag the latest Fender Tele variation outside his local Guitar Center.

PC has attempted instigating "Tele-lines" at local music stores. She even attempted camping outside Guitar Centre in order to start a Tele-line. Unfortunately, she was on her own and received only strange looks and pocket change from passers-by as she emerged from her tent.

Everyone above thinks flying v's are the sexiest guitars on the planet and begs santa for one every year only to wake up xmas morning to find nothing and spend the next six weeks dejectedly crying and eating bonbons in their mothers basement. You also wear pink under garments that lace up in the front.

Baylon Whyre bought tutm's Antfarm for 1.5 million dollars that he "borrowed" from daddy. The locals get a kick out of saying "Here's another guy who's all hat and no Ants."

JS thinks it's interesting that "Baylon Wire"'s first post here was to the Liars thread.

<no lie>I had a white pearl Ibanez Rocket Roll, from a smoke and fire sale out of a Pennsylvania music store. I couldn't wait to pass it on, which I did a few years later.</no lie>

What an Ibanez Rocket Roll might look like.

http://a.imageshack.us/img508/4334/ibz.jpg

Penny neglects to mention tossing the incendiary device in the stores dumpster then running around to the front with a wad of ones and fives ready to make a deal.

Jack killed my father on accident before I was concieved and spent the rest of my life using the inherited wealth I attained to insult me and my hat collection.

Penny doesn't know I do every post like it's my first post, and never makes anybody feel welcome anywhere.

And you all use hand me down tongue depressors to stir your chocalate milk because you enjoy the nuances it brings to the flavor.

The pic above of the Ibanez pointy guitarlike thing was taken in the basement of BW's artificial gravity chateau. B likes to move the floor around in each room and rearrange everthing on Sundays. When the pic was taken, he had the basement floor on the east wall.

Mike doesn't trust the points at which two wall, a wall and a ceiling or a wall and a floor meet. He believes that they will have got together to plan something. He has a completely round house, with curves inside. He finds it awkward trying to keep guitar stands upright.

spiky eliminated the floor/wall/ceiling conspiracy problem by knocking down all the walls. The result is a little drafty, but he never has to worry about what the walls are planning.

Mike makes me wish I hadn't demolished all my walls - he makes me uncomfortable when he peers at me through my non-existant walls.

I also now have no upstairs in my house.

After graduating from the anti-design school of architecture, spiky created the wall-less and ceiling-less home. Some people say that his designs just promote more homeless people. He feels like most artists that he won't be fully understood until after he's gone.

TUTM thinks his muse has left him and won't come back until all elephants are free.

chezdeluxe has a secret three-way fantasy:himself,a kangaroo,and Crocodile Dundee all while drinking Foster's.

Foster's: Australian for swill.
In the USA it's imported... from Canada!

Now back to our regularly scheduled fibbing.

Goinpostal has his own secret three-way fantasy: himself, Captain Kangaroo, and Lindsay Lohan out on parole. Ah, I guess it's no longer a secret, eh?

PennyCentury prefers Castlemaine to Fosters because at least they try to tell you how bad it is...but then censor.

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01390/castlemaine_1390782c.jpg

rsg dreams of a 5-way. He keeps waking up when he has to decide if position 2 should be series or parallel.

On the other hand, Mike loves a 4-way.....2 in parallel and 2 more in parallel. No series BS going on unless he decides to alter the positions in a "last second" decision, at which time a 5, 6, 7, or even perhaps an 8-way option may not be out of the question.

JP lives at the far end of a 1 way cul-de-sac. When he leaves home he has to reverse 100 metres.