Make up a lie about the poster above you!

In an attempt to impress a girl Dan will be preparing spitted Tibetan mountain yak seasoned with the rare Beletus Edulis mushroom only found deep within the South American rain forest and must be carefully prepared with the exact proportion of oil extracted from the livers of Black Dragon fish boiled at exactly 33.5 miles above sea level so as not to form a deadly poison. He will be presenting it ceremoniously with the mysterious palm dance of the south pacific paiou paiuo tribe. The dish is best experienced when combined with Frosties from Wendys.

Current scientific mumbo jumbo suggests that IQ score is mostly a result of environmental factors rather than heredity. That is based on studies of biological twins that were raised in different economic conditions. A study of one such pair has tgfmike being educated in the best private schools and an army of private tutors while Esaaal was raised in a dark closet by parents that resembled giant hungry lizards. Mike scored an amazing 125 while Esaaal pooped on the test and hid under the table. The results were considered to be conclusive.

GH volunteered to prepare the family dinner tonight - they'll be enjoying Gorton's Crunchy Golden Fishsticks, straight from the microwave, washed down with freshly prepared Tang.

tgfmike gets his fashion ideas from Kingston Trio album covers.A v neck velour sweater and white dickie, timeless!

JackStraw spent the entire summer of 1961 following the Kingston Trio around from gig to gig in an old school bus. Jack and his friends were known as "Kingheads".

dmarg was like -22 in 1961 and thinks the Kingston Trio is Bob Marley's band.

Tgfmike, or "Grandpa" as I like to call him, thinks that Bob Marley is a character from "A Christmas Carol".

"In an attempt to impress a girl Dan will be preparing spitted Tibetan mountain yak..." <no lie> There is a Tibetan restaurant in my town. <no lie> Dan

dmarg is getting so confused. Now he thinks Jakob Dillion is somehow related to Jacob Marley.

Tgfmike can't remember where he put his keys. They are in his left hand.

I found an excerpt of dmarg's manuscript that he submitted to The Atlantic for publication.


My name...

[whistling]

I am us, the secret ingredient in her eyes akimbo,
fair sun is being o'er my shoes and a Lion, soft!
You in heaven, rah, pausing now and learn three foot fungus!

He's...

You're under arrest!

O Romeo, all different.

You're not -- uh -- Abraham Lincoln didn't die. Set
into the Indians! That's alright, do wear it becomes
plugged with grief, Romeo! Wherefore art as glorious
to take your bare hands? It.

You're a breeder of mine! It's shriveling up against
a little Egyptian?

Just remember -- thusly!

You're in a pack of sight.

You are preventing the Indians!

You, still in Washington, fair sun, can be sure to
climb down hill in the Other Side.

Technical difficulties are far right after I am too
many of greasy frog water!

A little Egyptshine?

To take arms against a lamp, iron door...

A slutty chunk of a name?

You're a boring truck load of brimstone.

Now and mighty Maine!

You're a Tropical Paradise! Water.

You trying to sleep leaning up to sleep leaning up!
What about nearby. Time, becoming thicker to attract
your feet! What if I were there, which great gouts
of that refreshes, look -- uh -- thusly!

You're a cough! It's an obnoxious crate of rotten
sloppy horse manure!

Be, Romeo!

You're a drugged swarm of defective disk failures!
Water. Two places at one end them.

You on.

You're under arrest! It's, why...

To his organ again by the West.

You're an unproductive herd of sinners?

You're an Erector Set!

Are waiting on him, friends!

She speaks, do wear it! It's candied apples and
arrows of secondhand jock straps! Water!

Antelope Freeway, for a nunnery, 'tis not my lady.

What's in a Tropical Paradise!

The west end them.

dmarg uses his keys and mason's lime to make key lime pie.

Penny Century's ant farm receives Federal subsidies.

JS uses underage immigrant moles to work in his illegal gravel mine south of Pemberton, NJ.

dmarg came home with the intention of playing her but, the problem is already pretty light.
Normally he would have no interest in exploiting her natural gifts for profit; but because of a unfortunate investment miscues, has relented and (with great trepidation) hired an entertainment agent in hopes of the Jon and Kate Plus 8 show have expressed some interest, seeing that Jon has "Left the suit (ostensibly JackStraw) just got a new con from the tube to hit the falsetto notes in White Room" believes that he might be able to make a few bucks with her rare ability. Normally he would have no interest in
exploiting her but, but I suppose some of us are that as well. Hoodie refuses to take back Outback Steak House and Bugaboo Creek. Thank you kindly.
Oh, he'll find himself to be one disappointed soul.

El Teddy just got a new con from the profit he's made on your dreams.

Esaaal is taking a sea voyage searching for a mysterious giant Narwhal known as tgfmike that has been troubling shipping in some important shipping trade routes. Some believe it could actually be a mechanism of marvelous cunning operated by a mad genius deposed tyrant named Jack Straw and his remaining citizenry but he will be the first to tell you that is a little far fetched.



Penny will be working on a project to test a new technology that will project a multidimensional interactive holographic image of herself onto the surface of the theoretical 10th planet in our solar system. As I’m sure you know recent scientific discoveries estimate as many as 11 actual planets with the 11th being the mysterious planet X which has a very wide orbit making it previously undetectable but is believed to be on a collision course with both the planet earth and the sun causing a cataclysmic end to our solar system as we know it leaving nothing but dust and a bright dot in the sky for distant solar systems to observe. But I digress. I’m referring to the theoretical 10th planet following earth’s exact orbit only on the opposite side of the sun. In so doing she hopes to discover new life existing there and will attempt to establish contact. Hopefully they will not view her attempts at contact as a threat as they will now have a direct inter-dimensional gateway in which to launch an attack that could threaten the existence of all human life on this Earth.

She'll get right on that as soon as shes finished watching her dvr recorded American Idol season 5 in it's entirety. :grin:

GH, after reading PC's last two posts, has come to believe that there is no inventuality in the future and no remnants in the past and thus his present is the fabrication of a malfunctioning inorganic mind force with subpowers in a spectrum so far undetected.

Seeing that GitHead has "Love In Vain" covered by the Stones,
then coined the word 'signoficant' which we think means someone important
but just a dab hand. Because a show about a new con from
the tube to hit th' falsetto notes in "White Room"
--but Stevie Winwood claims that the reservation states that there's no touching allowed.

Jack Bruce told Mike a lie and embellished it, claiming that Eric Claptom gave Ginger Baker a "Shampoo horn."

Clapton countered that Jack Bruce sucked Brylcreem from his latest
brewing effort, chocolate-pistac saison.

I had a typo -- I spelled it "Rent-a-Girl" .

Unfortunately, most directors think a show about a gal "Talking to rocks" would not make for profit; Onway econdsay oughtthay, enwhay amblinggay inway Egasvay, Ooveygray Ecordsray "Ampooshay ornhay." Andway atthay Ackjay Ucebray uckedsay Eembrylcray omfray ethay ofitpray e'shay ademay onway econdsay oughtthay,

///and told him THAT A SHOW ABOUT A GAL "TALKING TO ROCKS" WOULD LET HER NEAR ONE O THOSE XYLOPHONE THINGS. PEOPLE WHO know her still talk about the hammers as she got lost in the act of invoking the imagery that inspired the man in the suit.

And PC? Her agent has been shopping the many innumerable Hollywood reality show casting directors.

The Only Penny Century And The Fenny Fry

Then Only Penny Century
And Only Fenny Fry
Rushed downward to the foamy sea
With one sponge-taneous cry;
And there they found a little boat,
Whose sails were pink and gray;
And off they sailed among the waves,
Far, and far away.
They sailed across the silent main,
And reached the great Gromboolian plain;
And there they play for evermore
At battlecock and shuttledoor.

- mostly Edward Lear

dmarg came home with the intention of playing her but, the problem is already pretty light.
Normally he would have no interest in exploiting her natural gifts for profit; but because of a unfortunate investment miscues, has relented and (with great trepidation) hired an entertainment agent in hopes of the Jon and Kate Plus 8 show have expressed some interest, seeing that Jon has "Left the suit (ostensibly JackStraw) just got a new con from the tube to hit the falsetto notes in White Room" believes that he might be able to make a few bucks with her rare ability. Normally he would have no interest in
exploiting her but, but I suppose some of us are that as well. Hoodie refuses to take back Outback Steak House and Bugaboo Creek. Thank you kindly.
Oh, he'll find himself to be one disappointed soul.

El Teddy just got a new con from the profit he's made on your dreams.

I suspect that Penny is revisiting lie posts from the past <no lie>. However, I'm sure she will continue to make this thread not interesting with her irreverent, funny and intelligent posts <big-time lie!>.

Mike was waxing poetic and inadvertently stumbled upon (and created) lyrics for a new Jimmy Page / Robert Plant album..<lie / no lie. I just don't know>..

..okay, now 'My hands are shaky and my knees are weak' from keeping the lie / no lie thing straight in my mind. (with apologies to Otis Blackwell).

Scatman is, and always has been, a very literally-minded person, he is entirely immune to metaphor and figurative meanings: Even as a child in prep-school, when the teacher told the class to take out their books and turn over a new leaf, he would always dash out into the garden.

Moggl despite countless headmaster beatings as a child refuses to accept responsibility for damaging neighborhood gardens is his village and school. Using his Mums garden shears he would trim the hedges "offseason", and reuse mulch during spring plantings. Moggl has a very bad plant reputation in the UK which is really why he is in Germany. They like to destroy gardens.

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Moggl had a specially trained pig that he used to sniff out truffles. He took it to the Black Forrest once to see if it could sniff out the mythical Black Forrest Cake Tree. As soon as he let it off its' leash, it took off never to be seen again.

Now Moggle has to sniff out his own truffles. I hear he's getting quite good at it.

Moggl is not typically very literal however there is one song he takes deadly seriously...

I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers Consultin'
with the rain.
And my head I'd be scratchin' while my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.

I'd unravel every riddle for any individ'le, In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts you'll be thinkin'
you could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain.

Oh, I could tell you why The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thunk before.
And then I'd sit, and think some more.
I would not be just a nothin' my head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry,
If I only had a brain.

GitHead understands the premise of this thread is to lie about the poster directly above him in this thread, not the poster of Moggl on his ceiling.

Hoodie is an inhabitant of the mythical Black Forrest. He is one of the secretive and elusive sprites although they do not refer to themselves by that term. Rather they call themselves Nano Midgets.

Most forrest people don't realize how many Nano Midgets there are. They typically don't notice as they step on or punt them.

The truth about them is they are not the result of magic but a scientific experiment intended to extend the earths resources by reducing the size of human and animal life.

This plan back fired as the first wave of Nano Midgets were eaten by birds and scientists realized maybe there were some problems they failed to factor into their equations.

But the surviving Nano Midgets turned out to be a hardy bunch and readily survive such hardships as being caught in a rat trap or flushed down the toilet. Over time they have mastered the art of secrecy and the best chance you have of seeing one is occasionally
looking at the bottom of your shoe.

A plate of hot dogs is plenty to feed a million Nano Midgets and picknicks in the forrest often fall prey to their hunts.

GitHead was the victim in Olivia Newton-Johns' hit song "Banks of the Ohio". ON-J thought she'd done him in and fled the scene but he lived to see another day. ON-J of course went on to bigger and better things, but poor GitHead has to cross to the other side of the road whenever he sees a gymnasium. And the song "Physical" leaves him in the foetal position on the floor...

On being 48 HMcF claims "I got to see ON-J in her prime, so for me it's worth it being older".

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In a sudden fit of matronly instinct Olivia changed TUTM's diapers. With a look of horror on her face she exclaimed "I'll never do this again!"

At the age of 3, GH took his little plastic guitar thing (which he has since passed down to his own 3-year-old) and set off on a solo act tour of northern Ohio, from N Ridgeville to Toledo. He was gone for 4 days before being picked up by the Sheffield police for "public performances without a permit". GH learned his lesson and always obtains the proper permits before starting off on tour.

Following in the footsteps of the late great Harry Houdini Mike perfected the trick of escaping from work.

GitHead is following in the footsteps of Henry Rollins.
No, Eric Violette.
No, Jed Fender, the inventor if the Teledonut.
No, Henry Gibson (no relation to Orville)
No, Henry Juskiewicz.
No, Booker Noe.
No, WanChai, my animated Maneki Neko

Seeking to expand her horizons and her fortunes Penny is joining an expedition to the Indian Ocean to find the mysterious fog hidden Skull island to bring back evidence of a legendary native god in the form of a giant ape. Legend has it the ape can be anesthetized with the juice of large red berries found on the same island. The plan is for Penny to lure him into a trap with her feminine wiles. The ape is said to be enormously powerful with the ability to devastate entire cities. She will attempt to capture and transport it to some highly populated location where she can test the bounds of its strength by antagonizing the creature in front of a large crowd of foolish spectators. These spectators will be specially picked based on thier potential for freezing in place when frightened making them an easy meal or being flattened under a giant foot.

GitHead has invented a new species of ape...this one's carnivorous.

Red achieves immortality as the inspiration for the famous screeching Monkey Toy.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gk6K1GCjlr8/S66oXm7XVmI/AAAAAAAADI0/0a2Ssh6-BBg/s1600/monkey1.jpg

GitHead's real name cannot be spoken, it is the sound of clashing cymbals so he only answers to percussionists.

Red has spent years perfecting the art of cleaning potato chip crumbs off his shirt with his tongue.

Inquiring "why not just shake them off" will earn you a very dirty look.

GH woke up this morning, looked out the window and said to himself, "I want to do that right now. What do you make the time? I wasn't hungry."

GitHead was almost dropped from the NRHS Ranger's marching band when he suggested putting extension cords all over the football stadium so they could go electric. He thought it would be a great idea for the band to do Eruption at the homecoming game. His skills on Tuba being no match for his tapping skills.

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That extension cord idea would have worked!

TUTM's saddest moment; when he realized disco really is dead.


He used to brag about his elevator shoes going to the thirteenth floor.

Like a '70s-era TV show detective or any number of action movie heroes of the past 30 years, GitHead has a catchphrase--the all-purpose superlative, "Rrrrrrrrrrrollah-coastaaaaaahhhh!"

T-shirts, buttons, beer koozies, barbecue aprons, men's and women's underwear, bumper stickers, greeting cards, teeth grilles, and lick-em stick-em temporary tattoos imprinted with the catchphrase, as well as autographed 8 X 10 publicity glossies of GitHead and his autobiography, The Rrrrrrrrrrrollah-Coastaaaaaahhhh Goes Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clack-Clackity-Clackity-Clackity-Clackity-Clackity-Click...Click.......Click..........Click.......... ...Click...Click...Click-Click-Click-Click-ZOOM-WHOOOOSH *AAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!* 24/7, are available at rrrrrrrrrrrollahcoastaaaaaahhhh.com (http://www.blank.org/)

Joel

JT was born in the Prince's Palace of Monaco, Monaco, JT attended the JT I High School, graduating with distinction in 1976. JT was a camper and later a counselor for six summers at Camp Tecumseh on Lake Winnipesaukee, Moultonborough, New Hampshire in the 1970s. He spent a year training in various princely duties, and enrolled at Amherst College in Massachusetts in 1977 as JT Grimaldi, studying political science, economics, music, and English literature, and also joined Chi Psi fraternity.

He spent the summer of 1979 touring Europe and the Middle East with the Amherst Glee Club and graduated in 1981 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in political science. JT also undertook an exchange program with the University of Bristol, at the elite Alfred Marshall School of Economics and Management in 1979. JT was an enthusiastic sportsman, participating in cross country, javelin throwing, handball, judo, swimming, tennis, rowing, sailing, skiing, squash and fencing. He is a patron of Monaco's football teams. He competed in the bobsled at the 1988, 1992, 1994, 1998, and 2002 Winter Olympics. He has been a member of the International Olympic Committee since 1985. (His maternal grandfather John B. Kelly, Sr., and maternal uncle John B. Kelly, Jr., were both Olympic medal winners in rowing and were actively involved in the Olympic movement.) The press reported that JT refused any special treatment during his Olympic stints, and lived in the same bare-bones quarters as all the other athletes

Tgfmike always wears spats when he performs.

dmarg always keeps a spitoon and a camp toilet on stage when he performs. His reasoning is better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

Jack Straw has a powerful hankerin' right now for the great taste of a Hungry Man fried chicken dinner.

dmarg is a Mrs Cubbison's man all the way. His favorite meal includes a meatloaf with her Meatloaf Mix, her Corn Bread Stuffin' prepared on the stovetop and a nice iceberg lettuce salad with Mrs Cubbison's Garlic & Butter French Bread Croutons.

dmarg likes Shemp, but TGFM is a Curley Joe Besser fan.

Esaaal once spent all day lying on his side kicking in circles going "Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop, I resemble that remark". All the other kids were playing Captain Midnight and didn't get it. They still don't even though he has explained it many many times.

<no lie> TGFM's Monaco story was a really good lie <no lie>
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Telleutelleme just stared into space and thought about nothing in particular for almost four minutes.

dmarg thinks about this thread and sighs, "Hmmm. Lies."
<no lie> TGFM's Monaco story was a really good lie <no lie>
<no lie>Just cut and paste, I'm afraid.</no lie>

TGFMike wrote:

A honeywagon is a musical instrument of the United Kingdom, it is in the corner... I don't know a special oxygen danger-indicator level. He walks into modern times; the electrician, long line of the envious moon, Judy! You guys are far more coffee, 223 BC, his epitaph commemorated his participation in the Greek victory at Marathon rather than their damaging consequences.

Some of this is a great advantages in electric instruments, but a solid Bakelite-bodied
electric semi-acoustic guitars, five days a little Egyptsheen? Deny thy name...

Also, the Boils, but in 410, the others being unlocked by opposing end them; previously, are far more coffee, great advantages in electric instruments, yet she. Rickenbacker, fair sun is gassing out for gigs. It sounded shiny and green, scab!

Aeschylus is but beyond precision, that dude! Eat it!

Fender had been used to wake up against a procedure known as video-stroboscopy. Special calibrated strobe lights, capable of flashing up. What would become of the Telecaster. It was so important to be toned down to outgassing or green, the grocery store... I'm feverish...

Also, in here! He's ready for Excitement!

In his remarks on the respective processes as is this night.

Fender had an electronics repair shop called Fender's Radio Service where he first repaired luthiers.

Fender had an electronics repair shop called Fender's Radio Service where he turns right after **** Germany used to Aristotle, pausing now a winged messenger of emotional undertones and the scale length in hal yet she knew she speaks: O terms, five days a euphemism [citation needed] However, after **** Germany used the primary reason for thou her eyes were replaced with the Postman! Arise, and no longer be the plain brown can you guys doing in the motion of Fantastic Cigarettes, then designed, amplifiers and electromagnetic pickups for the film and short in heaven, paws that results in equal tempered division of it is going down hill from the general public (at least initially) will not, and are also have survived into a crude wooden guitar is a sea of Aeschylus' works was a musical instrument of the chordophone family, blue or runoff description of physical processes rather than their neighbor's back to describe camps used to give an illusion of slow motion (cf. stroboscopic effect) and we'll see the flute! Go away!
What would become the lazy pacing clouds and repaired luthiers?

PC, always more coherent and literary than I am, had this to say today to her cats:

I was sensible of intolerable pain in the back of my head. Landseer is a dashed clebrated chap. How am I lined up? You probably would have shared it with him, and he wasn't even there. I am trying to tell you, that he and Veronica are engaged. By your soul, by your father's soul, do not make me do these things. Are you at all in earnest? I told you he was good. Say hi to that big ugly fellow in the uniform. I've got a good lawyer. Oh, no, that's all right.

And then, word came from Mike:

Will the doughnut ever amend its noxious prunes? Of course not, why would we celebrate. O'Shaughnessy's eternal conundrum wouldn't plonk anyway, so to speak. Just because purple is the new orange doesn't mean William of Orange suddenly applies to George Bush Sr, or anyone else from the vicinity of West Hartlepool. There is no Connecticut, and you better believe in de-doo-doo-doo-da-da-ism, as it's out to get your granny with a vengeance (sardine biscuits notwithstanding). And while we're at it: Maybe. See if I don't!

Moggl's flatulent Horseshoe Crab returned the favor, dotted the eye,repulsed the foe, boiled the Welk, testified, was found guiltily innocent,registered, was denied all access and needed to be comforted, poor thing,

JS bored co-workers one week with anti Woodrow Wilson rhetoric that lasted from 8:15 to 4:30 each day.

Esaal listed to the south, unsullied by prosperity with a wicker in the high tooth, verbal synchronized with abbreviated discombobulation ruling class discovery and whale-blubber chops winded from excessive tolerance to the hinges.

You guys sending me junk mail?

redstringguitar was Best Looking Winner "2010 $210 Tele Build Challenge but remarked i sure do love the ART DECO design of the late 20s - 40s although COMMERCIAL RULES FOR THIS WEBSITE ALL MUST FOLLOW; I RANT: Why answer a question with a question? Say Kids? What do you do. Make up a lie about the poster above you! of course. Apparently... I have seen the future or Rock N Roll and then he asked Does age matter?

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rsg's new occupation is Jolly Tinker. "The mending, the mending, it's all about the mending" he sings as he peregrinates.

TUTM disfigures pots,pans, and kettles much to rsg's chagrin.

JS plays cricket.

Just to freak out his neighbors, tgfm likes to march around late at night yelling "bring out your dead".

Esaaal used to rage against the machine. Now he kind of likes the machine.

dmarg's machine builds fascists.

(I suppose it's back to one-liners now, is it?)

Penny is missing novel-style lies.

jp assumed that Freddie, tiring of Mrs Freddie, had sent her off to Paris where she attacked the steep slope, until, baffled and bleeding, she fell back, no question of climbing the fence, where she spoke the word as it should be spoken, if it is to have its proper value, having dealt cards around the table, he was shot from the boat, he relaxed only when his brother was asleep, took a cab to the Senior Conservative Club, and learns that they were fighting against one another, and were sick and tired of it.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas many lines as it takes to achieve the ultimate falsehood!" shouted Penny from atop the barricade holding the banner high for all to see,

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!", Jack screamed, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" And then he sucked in a fly, went "aa, aa, ack" and sat down.

dmarg's machine builds fascists.

(I suppose it's back to one-liners now, is it?)



It is raining hard with visibility no more than a few feet making driving difficult. The darkness punctuated periodically by the flash of lightning followed closely by the rolling boom of thunder. The road is overhung by the oversized branches of age old trees. The ravages of fall had stripped all but the most stubborn of red and gold leaves which are now being tossed wildly about by the howling wind. It has been a long time since she last saw a house or any other sign of civilization and the road, in poor repair, has become little more than mud and potholes and gravel.

Suddenly a violent flash and sparks like falling stars erupt with a tremendous boom. Penny brakes just in time to prevent the heavy limb crashing through the car roof but not in time to spare the hood. The car lurches to a stop, utters a failing moan and sputters dead.

Listening to the rain falling hard on the damaged automobile she looks out the window in time to see a structure in the distance illuminated by a flash of lightning. She buttons up her clown suit and opens the door. A sudden blast of icy wind tearing her red rubber nose away as she stubbornly steps out of her clown car with her over sized clown shoes into ankle deep water. Leaving her ten clown friends behind she sloshes her way forward into the dark.

Before long she realizes she has no choice but to drop the juggling pins, cannon ball, Five decks of stacked playing cards, weighted dice, four foot long plastic hot dog, fake hand, rubber chicken, stilts, whoopie cushion, and three foot tall tooth brush. But nothing saddens her more than releasing the seals and pidgeons and mice that had for the last eight years called her clown pants home.

Water running out of her bright orange plume of clown hair obscures her vision until she realizes it's just another one of her gags and turns it off. She is occasionally whipped by the overgrown and poorly trimmed vegetation along either side of the road. Sections of wrought iron fence can be seen occasionally exposed and in obviously poor condition. The wind is howling like demons and she is drenched but keeps moving. It would be pointless now to return to the relative safety of her colorfully painted Love Bug defeated and worn out.

She can now more clearly see the building she is heading for. It is large and ominous looking in the dark, the architecture ornate as in a time forgotten, and she can see the warm glow of orange light. Then to her horror she realizes where she is...McDonalds. In the strangest possible turn of events, after years of struggling to make her own way in the world, super clown Penny Century McDonald returns home.

Mike, embellishing on Jacks "a" started his own chorus of "la la la la la".

GH made up a song yesterday. He plays it in Ab minor, because it is a sad song:

Neither drunk nor sunstruck
We have slept over the notion
For half a year
And require to see books and atlases

We have decided
There is only one place
In the world that two strong men
Can attack Sarawack

They call it Kafiristan
It's mountainous county
And the women
Are very beautiful there


And then GH got bored with the whole thing and started up 30 minutes of the chorus from Hello Dolly.

GitHead is writing a discourse on famous song usages of La, Oum, Ma and of course Mow. Capter one will include Papa Oom maow maow as indicative of the variants these lyric building phrases can achieve. Using references from both the Delltones, Beach Boys and Rivingtons as example, he explores the impact of such phrasings on musical culture. He does purposly avoid the Oak Ridge Boy's version as a shameless self serving cover.

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tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power.

So TGFM wrote a song that caused him to think Retalin enhances brain power.

Lets put on the Wiggles & pop a couple Ritalin
Papa dont blame mama or tell her how lazy shes been
Its been prescribed by a doctor and the doctor said it aint no sin
So lets put on the Wiggles & pop a couple Ritalin

He's really disappointed he can't use this on the Apparently thread.

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tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

He's really disappointed he can't use this on the Apparently thread.
OMG! You mean those are supposed to be real lyrics?

Tidgyfumm, Mike's Aussie alter ego, has started collecting and breeding termites because he wants to start mass production of didgeridoos along Baloney Creek.

OMG! You mean those are supposed to be real lyrics?

Well, yeah. Funny what some people sing about, innit? :mrgreen:

Originally Posted by tgfmike
OMG! You mean those are supposed to be real lyrics?

Reckless Kelly Wiggles & Retalin

Chorus as performed by Moggl:

If only Dad would have spanked me instead
Of dopin me up and messing with my head
I might have turned out to be a regular guy
But its all that I know and I gotta get by

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tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

If Jackson built a Tele with a Dinky and a Floyd, would TGFMike hear the tree falling in the forest?

It's the man's fault!

PS: ancient DOS programs are fun!)

Reckless Kelly Wiggles & Retalin

Chorus as performed by Moggl:

If only Dad would have spanked me instead
Of dopin me up and messing with my head
I might have turned out to be a regular guy
But its all that I know and I gotta get by

...but tutm's a sucker, so to him I shall lie.

PS: ancient DOS programs are fun!)

Only in the same way muskets are.

Penny thinks indecisive means missing teeth (2 lines Penny:smile:)

Everytime PennyCentury posts, redstringuitar starts singing "This is a Man's World, but it wouldn't be nothin without a woman or a girl". Then he posts. Secretly he also likes to reverse engineer DOS programs just for fun. He has a lot of 8080 and Z80 assembly code.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

Tuh-tum loves to peruse this thread on his VAX.

There's a hole in Moggl's bucket and he's blaming Little Liza.

JackStraw has so many vintage tele's that he got the Tree hugger's boycotting his home.

Sevycat's best gig ever: Two hours after Sevy's band started playing, a guy at the bar with his back to the stage turned around and said, "Band here tonight?"

Dan's latest book on the Freckled Woozie (Passer Dentominus Neumanni, called Garten-Zahnlücke* by leading German ornithologists) received mixed reviews from the press:


'Scrumptious!'
- Hetty McFar-Out, The Daily Oogah

'Fails, even as a doorstop'
- 17/m/Tx, The Happy Herder

'Cruel, yet somehow not no the point'
- Demonico Death Metal, The Morbid Picker

'Hilfe!'
- Heinrich Meisenbier, Der Spargel

'James Cameron eat your heart out!' (Not about this book)
- Jayhne Aberystwyth, New York Slime

'The world used to be so nice. Used to be.'
- John Bully, Hate on Sunday






* Sometimes given as Gartenzahnlücke in traditional German spelling

When Moggl was just a lad
He went to talk to Dad
And asked him
"What's up with moving us to Germany?"

I liked it fine in Ireland
Where it's green and fine throughout the land
And they don't speak German
And no one is named Hermione

Dad looked Moggl in the eye
And said, "Son this is no lie.
I moved us here because
I spent too long in the infirmary."

"And it addled up my brain
Till my thoughts went down the drain
And I lost my will to live
Unless it was in Germany."

So Moggl turned to Dad
And said, "While that story's very sad,
I think you're lying."

And Dad said, "Well maybe so,
Although I honestly don't know,
But you have to give me points for trying."

A fifth of Hennesey's
Two bottles of Ommegang
A box of Red Cross gauze
A sleeve of 12 gauge shells
New Years' Eve poppers
A tin of Clover salve
A subscription to Grit
Ten roman candles
Custom color Q-tips

- list of treasure hunt items found and submitted by TGFMike in response to the 2010 $210 Challenge

The current contents of PC's pantry:

All-purpose flour
Whole wheat flour
Whole Wheat Pastry Flour
Cake flour
Cornmeal
Granulated sugar
Confectioner's sugar
Brown sugar
Baking soda
Baking powder
Yeast
Cornstarch
Unsweetened cocoa
Unsweetened chocolate
Semi or bitter sweet chocolate
Biscuit mix Minute tapioca
Oatmeal
Cereal
Crackers
Dried breadcrumbs
Penne
Ziti
Spaghetti
Angel hair
Fettuccini
Linguini
Ditalini
Lasagna
Orzo
Elbows
Egg noodles
Long grain rice
Brown rice
Wild rice
Arborio rice
Barley
Couscous
Quinoa
Kidney beans
Great Northern beans
Lentils
Chick peas
Split peas
Dried corn
Whole tomatoes
Tomato paste
Tomato sauce
Crushed tomatoes
Chicken broth
Beef broth
Vegetable broth
Condensed cream of mushroom soup
Canned fruits
Pie fillings
Worcestershire sauce
Soy sauce
Hoisin sauce
Sesame oil
Salsa Dijon mustard
Canned Tuna
Canned Salon
Anchovies
Anchovy paste
Light or dark corn syrup
Pure maple syrup
Pancake syrup
Honey
Pure vanilla
Almond flavoring
Hot sauce
Olive oil
Extra-Virgin olive oil
Canola oil
Peanut oil
Olive oil spray
Cooking oil spray
Red wine vinegar
Balsamic vinegar
White wine vinegar
White distilled vinegar
Apple cider vinegar
Dry red wine
Dry white wine
Port wine
Vermouth
Brandy
Cognac
Dry sherry
Gin
Rum
Fruit liqueurs
Dark beer
Parsley
Oregano
Basil
Rosemary
Thyme
Rubbed sage
Marjoram
Cilantro
Bay leaves
Chives
Savory
Tarragon
Dill weed
Dill seed
Onion powder
Minced onions
Garlic powder
Minced garlic
Peppercorns
Coarse salt
Iodized salt
Cinnamon sticks
Ground cinnamon
Ground nutmeg
Whole nutmeg
Ground cloves
Whole cloves
Ground turmeric
Ground allspice
Ground mace
Pickling spice
Mustard seed
Dry mustard
Cayenne pepper
Celery seed
Caraway seeds
Fennel seeds
Ground ginger
Ground cumin
Ground sweet paprika

The list above is actually tgfmike's trick or treat booty from last years Halloween.

Jack Straw gave out handfuls of frozen Ore-Ida tater tots for Halloween last year.

Joel

Incredibly, Joel Terry's favorite Tele is built, with the exception of the hardware and strings, entirely from Tater Tots! Dan

In his haste, TGFMike skipped the following items in the Century Family larder:

Three kinds of Fumi Furikake
Korean Dried bean mix
Organic sweet brown rice
Organic sweet white rice
Organic sushi rice
Rice polish
ten aseptic boxes of silken tofu
jar of red fermented tofu
dumpling dipping sauce
package of 40 nori sheets
Mustapha's Harissa paste
Mustapha's preserved lemons
Vegetarian "oyster" sauce
Hoisin sauce
four bottles of Bek So Ju
four bottles of ginseng soju
Rice sticks
Korean wild raspberry wine
dried shiitake mushrooms
dried lily bulbs
dried, shredded jellyfish
seasoned rice vinegar
twenty year old balsamic vinegar
agar agar sheets
Kimchi fermenting
several Kopdol
Kewpie mayonnaise
Tiparos nam pla


Dan's cupboard has a can of Beach Cliff sardines (in mustard) and a half empty box of Cup-a-Soup (mushroom variety)

PC and TGFM plan to start a Tuscan cooking school if only to empty the pantry of all the condiments they bought but never used. Amazingly there is absolutely no overlap. It could be a psychic connection.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

Contents of tutm's pantry:

35 gallon cans of veggies and fruits
20 gallon Rubbermaid container full of beans, rice, pasta and mashed potatoes
12 popcorn tins full of rice, mashed potatos and pasta
35 cans of tuna
21 cans of salmon
8 cans of sardines
50 lbs of powdered milk
24 boxes of bread mix
10lbs of instant mashed taters
12lbs of rice
29lbs of beans
7 Barbeque sauce
5 karo syrups
various juices
67 cans of vegies
can of evaporated milk
can of condensed milk
can of enchilada sauce
can of Rotel tomatoes
37 cans of refried beans, pork and beans and baked beans
11 cans of applesauce
7 cans of tomato sauce
15 cans of potatoes
6 cans of yams/sweet taters
25 cans of cranberry sauce
5 cans of pumpkin
21 cans of fruit, mainly peaches, pears and apricots
8 cans of soup, tomato and mushroom
2 cans of saurkraut
21lbs of sugar
12lbs of flour
75 Top Ramen

TGFMike's basement survival supplies

6 cases of hard winter wheat berries, packed in nitrogen-flushed 1 gallon cans
6 cases of powdered eggs
6 cases of powdered milk
50 cakes of freeze dried yeast
Sniper rifle and scope
4 ammo cans of various rounds
bandoleer and survival knives
a library of books by Massad Ayoob including In The Gravest Extreme
decon kit
porta shower
12 cases of Charmin
48 cases of canned water
riot batons
crank powered radio
crank powered flashlight
15 gross AA cells
Berkey water filter and spares
four cots
improvised stretcher
hand grinding mill

All this talk by Penny of Bek So Ju and ginseng soju is hot air and puffery to make her sound more sophisticated than she really is.

Penny's idea of great r'n'r is a bowl of rice and a little rat meat.

Hoodie's list of pantry items:

Vegemite - lots of it

Last day, i saw jim pridx throwing bananas at the old people who walked in the park

Fendermeddle94 has his own pickled herring breeding program.

Incredibly, HMcF likes his Sashimi cooked.

Esaaal hides behind his garden shed every time his morning coffee looks back at him.

Moggl was a member of Tangerine Dream for a short period back in the 1980's

After his morning cup of coffee, HMcF dashes his cup into the fireplace.

After his morning cup of coffee, Esaaal throws his cup into the Schuylkill River.

Hoodie earned his nickname by believing if he ran fast enough and jumped high enough he could ride the hoodie of cars passing by on the highway. This resulted in many injuries especially concussions and skull fractures but Hoodie was a tough kid and would just shake it off!

Hoodsie, multi instrumentalist that he is, has been trying to convince Jimmy Buffett that he can replace the entire Coral Reefer band. He suggests as a stage name, Lee Shore.Jimmy ran the numbers and is giving the proposal serious consideration although their stage presence would no doubt be a bit thin. Hoodsie volunteered the use of a few mannequins from his extensive collection.

GH and JS are putting together a new act called Straw Head. They are planning to dress like the Scarecrow and perform all the songs from The Wizard Of Oz.

Mike is in the process of recording a tribute album to Henry Mancini. He's already laid down his version of the Peter Gunn Theme and is currently working on the backing tracks for Baby Elephant Walk.

You left out Theme From Hatari!

Hoodie likes to save time by eating a handful of uncooked rice followed by a cup of tea.

Mike likes to save time by swigging a pint of milk followed by an unhealthy dose of chocolate syrup and a tablespoon of malt powder, after which he does 50-75 star jumps in his loungeroom. His stomach thinks it's had a chocolate milkshake and it saves Mike from doing the washing up.

HMcF has come up with this cool way to combine web surfing with cork sniffing:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_r9kRdupsocI/SE9xKIPWTAI/AAAAAAAADTY/MpX8_C4FsRE/s1600/Wine+Cork+Stopper+USB+flash+drive.jpg

tgfm thinks the idea of screw corked wine bottles would have broad appeal to winosaurs.

Esaaal has just invented the game of beetle. Here is a summary of the rules:

The game of beetle is played between two teams and each team has eleven players. The team may use a substitute if a player is injured and if he recovers he may come back on to the pitch. beetle has two umpires that enforce the rules, make and judge decisions. There are also two scorers that keep the score for both teams.

In beetle the ball is 22.4 to 22.9cm in diameter and weights between 155 to 163 grams. The beetle bat is 96.5 long and 10.8 wide. The beetle wicket/pitch is 22 yards long and 10ft wide. The wickets themselves are composed of three stumps, which are 28 inches tall and 9 inches wide with three bails on top. The bowling crease is 8.8ft long and as wide as the wicket, it is centred on the stumps. The condition of the pitch should be good and ideally should give an even bounce.

beetle is played for one or two innings depending on the type of match. The innings is over when all of the batsmen are out, or the innings is forfeit, or if the limit of overs or time is reached as agreed by the two captains.

A 'follow-on' occurs in a two innings match when a team that is batting does not reach the limit for runs to allow them to play on. This is when they are behind the fielding team by 200 runs for a test match, 150 for a three day match and 75 runs for a one day match. The batting team then has to bat again at the discretion of the other team. The captain of the batting team may end the innings whenever the ball is not in play.

There should be a 10 minute break between each innings, and there are also breaks for lunch, tea and drinks as agreed by the captains, after which the play is started again by the umpires. In the final hour the fielding team must bowl at least 20 overs. The teams may practice before or after the game at the umpire's discretion.

The batting team scores a run when both batsman cross and reach the opposite ends of the wicket without getting out. If the ball goes over the boundary and does not bounce the batting team get 6 runs, if it does bounce then they get 4 runs. The team that gets the most runs is the winner. If they both get the same amount of runs it is a draw. Each over is 6 bowls long and then the next over is from the other end of the wicket.

If the batsman is not able to hit the ball from where he stands then the ball is wide This means that the batting team gets an extra run. There is also a no ball when the ball bounces more than one time on the way to the wicket when it has been bowled or the bowler does not bowl correctly. That gives the batting team an extra run. When the bowler bowls he may not put his foot over the crease and his arm must go over his shoulder and not bend.

If the ball is not hit when bowled, but the batsmen scores a run it is called a bye, but the batsman must play a shot. If the batsman makes a run when he has tried to hit the ball but it has bounced off of his pad then it is called a leg bye. The batsman is out if the ball is caught before it has hit the ground when he has hit it. He is out if the bowler knocks off the bails when the ball is bowled. The batsman is out if the bails are knocked off when he is out of the crease and the ball is in play. The batsman is out if he is not ready to face the ball in three minutes from the last batsman being out.

The batsman is out if he, hits the ball twice or gets hit by the ball after it is bowled and when it would have hit the wicket if he did not get in the way of it. The batsman is out when he purposely obstructs the fielding team when the ball is in play. The batsman is out when he is run out when the ball hits the wicket when he is not in the crease when he is running between the wickets. The wicket keeper stands behind the wicket and is able to wear gloves and pads. He can stump the batsman through knocking off the bails when the batsman is not in the crease.

When 10 out the 11 batsmen are out, or the amount of agreed overs or hours are completed, the innings is finished. The team that has the most runs at the end of the one or two innings are the winners. The amount of overs and innings is agreed between the two teams at the start of the game.

Thanks to an Evelyn Wood Speed Reading course TGFM took back in the 70's, he has been able read the entire internet 4 times in the last two years. He only needs ten minutes each day to catch up on new stuff that's been recently added.

Esaaal plays no games. He is much too serious. As a young boy he would sit erect in his chair listening to everything his teacher said. He did not dip the girl's pigtails in the ink well. He did not eat the glue. He did not sniff the mimiograph tests. He never missed a day of school. He was much further advanced in scales than his counterparts. He was "Grandmother" approved.

49665

Since he started following the Steelers, he has changed.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

TUTM still wonders what happened with his beloved Oilers.

JP fresh from his trip to Paris now sports a small Red Beret, sips Claret and pretends he does not watch what American's call football. Instead he has paid a small fortune to be able to watch World Cup Soccer and French skiers. He has completely forgone Wisconsin Cheeses in favor of cheeses from the following regions.

49697


________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

tutm is far and away the worst liar ever.

TGFMike is the coach for the Culver City Cuties roller derby team.

...which Penny used to skate for before defecting to the New Hampshire Harbingers

The CCC crushed the NHH in the nationals and went on to win a close victory over the Tamworth Tootsies. HMcF was stunned by the results and had to down a glass or two of Hellyer's Road.

PC is the daughter of Annis "Big Red" Jensen of the Bay Area Bombers. Her godmother is Ann Calvello of the Brooklyn Red Devils. She has been skating since age 5. She is known in her home town as "Mad Dog" and often jams alone on the downtown sidewalks, passing tourists and yelling "Score".

49699

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

tutm is going to claim not, but he's taken to ignoring Hoodie and me.

Mike is so upset about being ignored by TUTM that he's now on his way to his local GC to buy himself a new Road Worn tele, just to cheer himself up.

Mike is so upset about being ignored by TUTM that he's now on his way to his local GC to buy himself a new Road Worn tele, just to cheer himself up.
A super excellent lie. I like my teles shiny (http://www.tdpri.com/forum/telecaster-discussion-forum/198770-who-else-likes-how-shiny-their-tele.html).

Hoodie put a saddle on his tele a week ago and has been using it like a stick horse every night since. He's still puzzled that there is very little 'relicing' on his Rode Warm.

Hoodie and TGFM spent the day buying new 3D ready flat screen TV's in the hopes that the Miss USA pageant would be in 3D. They especially want to be able to evaluate the question and answer part to be sure the most intelligent girl wins. They will deny that this is not an important part of their yearly TV plans and say they were watching PBS or BBC2 but it won't be true. Both have sent me PM's indicating which state will win. HMcF actually kept his PUB open so everyone in the village could watch. As soon as Masterpiece Theatre is over I will check and see who won.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

TUTM thought they renamed all the burgers at MCDonalds after people when the "Angus" burger was released.

Last time he went through drive through he ordered " A Large Shirley, hold the pickles, & a diet Gwen......oh yeah, & some Peter nuggets too".

Simonc makes his own guitar picks out of bakelite. He likes that old fashioned sound.

Every day at lunch time, Hoodie spends 8 minutes chanting this mantra:

tele
telecast
telecasted
telecaster
telecasters
telecasting
telecasts
telecommunication
telecommunications
telecommute
telecommuted
telecommuter
telecommuters
telecommutes
telecommuting
teleconference
teleconferenced
teleconferences
teleconferencing
teleconferencings
telecourse
telecourses
teledu
teledus
telefacsimile
telefacsimiles
telefilm
telefilms
telega
telegas
telegenic
telegonies
telegony
telegram
telegrammed
telegramming
telegrams
telegraph
telegraphed
telegrapher
telegraphers
telegraphese
telegrapheses
telegraphic
telegraphically
telegraphies
telegraphing
telegraphist
telegraphists
telegraphs
telegraphy
telekineses
telekinesis
telekinetic
telekinetically
teleman
telemark
telemarketer
telemarketers
telemarketing
telemarketings
telemarks
telemen
telemeter
telemetered
telemetering
telemeters
telemetric
telemetrically
telemetries
telemetry
telencephala
telencephalic
telencephalon
telencephalons
teleologic
teleological
teleologically
teleologies
teleologist
teleologists
teleology
teleonomic
teleonomies
teleonomy
teleost
teleostean
teleosts
telepath
telepathic
telepathically
telepathies
telepaths
telepathy
telephone
telephoned
telephoner
telephoners
telephones
telephonic
telephonically
telephonies
telephoning
telephonist
telephonists
telephony
telephoto
telephotographies
telephotography
telephotos
teleplay
teleplays
teleport
teleportation
teleportations
teleported
teleporting
teleports
teleprinter
teleprinters
teleprocessing
teleprocessings
teleran
telerans
teles
telescope
telescoped
telescopes
telescopic
telescopically
telescoping
teleses
telesis
telestic
telestics
teletext
teletexts
telethon
telethons
teletypewriter
teletypewriters
teleutospore
teleutospores
televangelism
televangelisms
televangelist
televangelists
teleview
televiewed
televiewer
televiewers
televiewing
televiews
televise
televised
televises
televising
television
televisions
televisual
telex
telexed
telexes
telexing

Mike is actually an out of work tele-prompter, from back in the days when there used to be a guy holding cue cards.

A dyslexic employee help to bring down simonc's cue card company back in 1982. Simonc isn't bitter though and has since opened up a typewriter sales and repair shop. Sales aren't booming but it's enough to keep him in strings.

Esaaal is an agnostic dyslexic insomniac.

He lays awake at night wondering if there's a dog.

Hoodie is afraid of lows. There is no medical term for being afraid of lows, so he has gone for decades without treatment. He has tried Dr. Schols, platform shoes and most recently stilts. Sadly only a second floor apartment has worked.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

TUTM is a test pilot for the X37

If you put the first 11 characters of HoodieMcFoodie between the YOUTUBE tags, you get this video:
dsKO_r76kfQ

If you put TGFM into youtube you get this. I'm pretty sure that is TGFMIKE on organ.


<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GfaiGqcGrj4&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GfaiGqcGrj4&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

TGFMike ... Telex ...

TMfw9k5O94w

The lead singer is my cousin Glen. PC is the keyboard player with the red shirt. PC is an excellent keyboardist - Glen says he just wishes she would quit complaining that her fake mustache itches.

tgfm has a hanging chad.....

Esaaal is quitting his job and will be concentrating on suffering so he can finally play the Blues. He suspects the disrespect he gets on this forum will be a large step in the right direction. He has already started wandering around the coffee shops singing "I done lost my job and I'm poor as dirt".. He does it three times before the reply and will have to work some on getting it all down to 12 bars.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

Tutm has mastered the 11 bar blues...

Esaal gets the blues every time he visits 11 bars in one night.

Mike doesn't need to hit 11 bars. Or even one. He gets plenty loaded drinking warm milk and has been known to slog around a barnyard or two.

GH likes to have three fingers of JD and then go run his uncle's paving machine.

Tidgyfumm's didgeridoo production is starting to show along Baloney Creek: They've already built a new kind of Hooter's, where they have Bring-Your-Own-Didger night every night.

b5hEkvDQqqc

Moggl's latest features. He's still in beta, though his Mum will tell you, he's ready for full release.

The Simster has recently taken up cheerleading. In true Aussie fashion, he uses two Englishmen as pom-poms.

Moggl gets really excited when something bad happens to him.

Well not bad, but unfortunate.

Well not really unfortunate but, uum... Oh just play the clip.

r23RZb0tcmo

Hoodie has invented an eye rolling machine. He hopes to get it patented so he can retire and just play his Tele all day.

49811

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

telleutelleme gets quite cross when I abbreviate his user name down to tutm.

tgfm likes to eat his corn on the cob one kernal at a time. When he's feeling wild and crazy he'll sometimes cut all the corn of the cob and eat it that way. tgfm is a rebel.

Esaaal has a liftime pass for all the Pennsylvania turnpikes. He was the 1,000,000th person to drive the National Toll Road and coincidentally his great great great grandfather was the first person to use it in 1818.

P.S. The Ritalin stuff really works.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

TUTM refuses to drive in an automobile. Says "If God had intended us to drive he would have given us wheels."

GH refuses to use a pick. He says, "If God intended us to use picks, he wouldn't have given us thumbnails."

Mike likes to pick his nose. Say's "If God had wanted us to use kleenex he wouldn't have given us fingers!" He's notorious around town for his unique talent of getting both index fingers in up to the second knuckle. He then dances around in a kilt singing the famous Scottish song "Micheal where's Your Trousers." in a strong Scottish brogue.

I just down from the Isle of Skye
I'm no very big but I'm awful shy
All the lassies shout as I walk by,
"Micheal, Where's Your Trousers?"

Let the wind blow high and the wind blow low
Through the streets in my kilt I go
All the lassies cry, "Hello!
Micheal, where's your trousers?"

I went to a fancy ball
It was slippery in the hall
I was afeared that I may fall
Because I nay had on trousers

I went down to London town
To have a little fun in the underground
All the Ladies turned their heads around, saying,
"Micheal, where's your trousers?"

The lassies love me every one
But they must catch me if they can
You canna put the breeks on a highland man, saying,
"Micheal, where's your trousers?"

GH was the first person in North Ridgeville to be arrested for D.W.P. Driving While Picking is a no point offense and his lawyer tgfm plead the charge down to playing too fast for conditions. That's a 35 dollars fine in North Ridgeville!

According to ancient Roman records the book of Esaaal was intentionally left out of the Bible as being "just too darn silly." Constantine was reported to have nearly laughed himself off the pooper when he read it.

GH's favorite music genre is ska and his favorite band is Bad Manners. His user name is a shortened version of Bad Manners's cover of the Micky Dolenz/Monkees song Randy Scouse Git (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Scouse_Git).

TGFMIKE invented the Truss Rod. Unfortunately he called it Da Fretstik and never made a penny. Speaking of PennyCentury she is the only one to ever modify a pre-war Martin to put in Da Fretstik. Githead and Esaaal have chinese versions called you guessed it ...... Chops Sticks.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

telleutelleme is actually a Hawaiian word meaning Liar.

The origin of the term "Esaaal" was English churned through a phsychotic mind then spat out in a raging temper tantrum. Properly translated in means "Oww me have diaper rash!"

GitHead means you can git it...but you gotta pay.

When you translate red string guitar to Welsh using google, you get 'gitâr llinyn coch'. When you translate 'gitâr llinyn coch' back into English, though, you get 'guitar with odd sound'.

tgfmike told me he thinks this thread is useless. :)

Stuco will never smoke weed with Willie again.

/ Tony

As a true outlaw, Tony only ever plays his Duesenberg Outlaw, complete with black fake croc skin.

Moggl hat Heuschnupfen. Nevermind the spray over his Tele top.

El Tedesco is affectionately known as ET amongst his band of outlaw sci fi convention geek friends.

Outlaw simonc really likes those fat bibaj larvae, that you see on National Geographic!

/ Tony

Big Tony is part of the IKEA Mafia.

simonc is contemplating an Australian AKEA, to take the Australian, Asian & NZ markets.

/ Tony

simonc has a lifetime shopping subscription with IKEA Australia. Hence the "mafia" insight.
A new and improved table cloth with mouth-watering spaghetti luster and natural Parmesan scent is on its way!

El Tedesco thinks that New Mexico City is the capital of New Mexico.

/ Tony

Big Tony is without a doubt an offspring of the "Little Rascals". :lol:

El Tedesco sells his imported mescal under the name "Tescal".

(I'm a rascal, but not little) :wink:

/ Tony

The massive Swede aka "Big Tony" got his rippling physique by continually hoisting his teak and ebony Telecaster. Weighing over 17lbs, and strung with 13's, Big Tony's sound can only be described as "huge".

Esaaal spends weekends practising Gregorian Chants. his slant is to back them up with screaming overdriven leads. By Monday he is ready for work and so is the neighborhood.


Originally posted by TGFMIKE:
When you translate red string guitar to Welsh using google, you get 'gitâr llinyn coch'. When you translate 'gitâr llinyn coch' back into English, though, you get 'guitar with odd sound'.

<no lie> GOOD! <no lie>
________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

The Ritalin was making tutm's fingernails too brittle to play tele, so he's stopped taking it.

tgfmike always have a piece of timber in his frontpocket; you know, if he should get hungry. In worst case when he's really hungry, he brings his telecaster instead... Lots of guitars have met a heartbreaking end this way

Fendermeddle should try chowing down on a tele, because it sure beats noshing on Surströmming!

After a long day at the toothpick factory, our gal PC likes to eat Greek Yogurt with a spork and watch cable access TV.

After a long day chewing on toothpicks, Esaaal likes to eat Yoplait with a fork and watch channel 4.

PC loves a good Nosh and often has late night Nosh-ins. She often invites Esaaal and TGFM.

49923
49924



________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

tutm invented "Yogurt on a Stick". He got the idea after noshing some plain yogurt with some toothpicks that he used like chopsticks. He hopes to break even after all the lawsuits are settled

tutm's better half thought she was going to an Italian restaurant when he took her for an al fresco meal...'til she ended up in a park with a hot dog.

Redstringuitar is opening a new B&B in Wales. Unfortunately in this case it stands for Bangers and Beans and your room is a small closet next to the big room where he keeps his Teles. Esaaal has already booked for the summer and is excited about visiting the quaint part of the UK.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

tutm and the Texas Cool Cats are just back from a tour of the Texas panhandle, where all the yogurt expires long before being eaten.

tgfm tries to convince his Id that the Texas Cool Cats and tutm are worth traveling to see, but his Super Ego keeps telling lies about the trip. saying, "It'll be too hot there, or there might be a tornado in the vicinity". His plain ole Ego hasn't anything to say and curls into a fetal position.

Being in PA, it's never too warm for Esaaaaal. He just keeps on playing his Hurdy Gurdy as though it's the last song he'll ever play.

Just back from France, JP has adopted the Cone Head look. He walks around the house in his shorts holding a Tower Eiffel souvenir shouting "I'm from a small town in France, bring me mass quantities of beer". He has also started spelling color, colour. He almost switched to a Macaferri guitar, but fortunately he saw his Telecaster and snapped back to normal. He has however renamed his band the Quintette du Hot Club de Wisconsin
________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

TUTM has become inspried to start up a new business. He's going into the manufacture of blankets made entirely of navel lint. Things are going a bit slow however as the lint harvest is still a few months away. You may be wondering exactly how TUTM is going to harvest enough navel lint to make his blankets. Well, to put it delicately, have you seen the size of his navel? It's huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge!!!!

--- Surströmming!
Now you're talking, girl!

(I don't even care that Penny was several posts behind)

Penny secratly enjoys lutefisk. (And that's a fact!)

/ Tony

Owning the largest Lutefisk factory in Sweden is just one of Big Tony's fantasies. Being able actually eat it is another.

Esaaal combs his hair with a fish skeleton.

Hoodie eats his chowder sucking it through one of those curly straws thats in the shape of a loveheart.

When people ask simon "what's a tamworth", he says "It depends - is it made of wool or acrylic?"

TGFMike still uses a Coricidin bottle as a slide, a Coke bottle for mojo, and a Cuisinart Dutch oven as an echo chamber.

After just now seeing the Graduate, TGFMIKE is sure that a plastic Tele is the future.

FYI - Hoodie smokes Belly Button Lint and is worried that any other use could raise the price he has to pay for it. Not to worry, China is going to start exporting it to the UK. BTW you use BBL to make Toe Pillows, not blankets.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

when there's some equipment faliure onstage, TUTM cracks the same old " Houston we have a problem" with the audience.

Its not funny now, but in the 70's its used to get quite the snicker from the assembled crowd. These days, TUTM & crew are more likely to get a snickers bar hurled their way.

Three little birds in a row sat musing.
simonc passed near that place.
Then did the little birds nudge each other.
"Wow!", they each said.

- mostly Stephen Crane

Mike was having palpitations at the thought this thread was drifting perilously close to page 2 of BDC.

thankfully my urge to lie, saved him at the last minute.

simonc still thinks that Swedish vikings had horns on their helmets.

/ Tony

Big Tony is still miffed over Tony Curtis getting the role in the Vikings (even if they were Norwegian ones). He also says that Real Vikings should be portrayed realistically, like his production below.

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/k_szeYPueEU&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/k_szeYPueEU&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

The only Vikings tutm cares about are in Arlington Texas:
http://lamarlegends.com/images/flyer.jpg

TUTM is often accused of eating like a viking. His wife say's she just can't bring him anywhere. Last time they went out to eat he was thrown in jail for grabbing the waitress while calling her a "wench" and proceeding to engage in a frenzy of food splattering and groping. The waitress is said to have recovered after a long shower, several hours of soap operas, and half a box of HoHo's. TUTM however still eats like a viking to this day but is forced to take his meals in the garage.

Mike looks up to TUTM and tries hard to emulate his eating habits but can't even fit a single turkey leg in his mouth. In a show respect he refers to TUTM as Spike and hops up and down excitedly whenever he sees him.

GitHead gigs as a Renaissance fair wandering lutist named Throckmorton of Greater Eglinton.

JT is best known as being the last person to do a Boogaloo in Tennessee; which also contitutes as being the first person in Tennessee to do one.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

tutm is the only one in Texas who doesn't think a Boogaloo is some kind of fishing lure.

TGFM thinks a Large Mouth Bass is the guy standing next to him.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

tutm thinks a LMB looks like this:
http://www.axemail.com/images/fullsizeimages/ab203.jpg

Mike thinks a large mouth bass is an ale made especially for him!

Big Tony is wrong, Swedish Vikings had horns on their SAABs!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d1/Saab-9-3-coupe-viggen.jpg/800px-Saab-9-3-coupe-viggen.jpg

PC is a gigantic fan of the Del Vikings.

Mike's version of a largemouth bass.

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/Bassguitar.jpg

No lie: I think I've figured out how to post images on this very strange computer I've been using the last 12 days or so. I'll be sure to post a link to more photos on Tuesday or Wednesday. This particular photo was taken from our apartment overlooking the Seine River in Paris:

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/DSCF4276.jpg

Ok......carry on liars!

JP says he's using a very strange computer because in France, computers are made by Robot-Coupé, and come equipped with both a word processor as well as a food process

In case JP starts mixing us up using Franglish, here is a list of French computer jargon:


French English

Le bas-débit Slow speed Internet
Le blogue blog
Le câble cable
La capture d'écran Screen shot
Le clique click (of the mouse)
Le clavier keyboard
Le courriel E-mail
Déconnexion Deconnect / logout
Le Disque Dur hard disk
L'emoticône smiley (emotional icon)
L'enceinte (f) speaker
L'écran (m) screen
Le feuille de calcul spreadsheet
Le FIA (fournisseur d'accès à Internet) ISP (Internet service provider)
Le fichier file
Le fond d'écran background screen
L'haut-débit broadband, High speed Internet
Le icône Icon
L'informatique Computing
Le jeu de Rôle Role playing game
Le lecteur CDROM CDROM player (reader)
Le logiciel program
Le Lien link
La Mémoire Vive RAM
La Mémoire morte ROM
Le moteur de recherches search engine
Le Multijoueurs (m) Multiplayer
Le ordinateur computer
Le plantage crash
Le réseau network
Le site web web site
La touche key (on the keyboard)
Le serveur server
Le son sound
La souris mouse
Le tableur spreadsheet program
La Toile Web
Le traitement de textes word processor

Penny often watches a Franglaise channel on cable TV in the afternoon..."Merde She Wrote", is a particular favourite.

JP reaslly knows how to pick a view. I might even go to Paris now. JP also thinks the subway is great for singing and especially likes the rubber wheels because it doesn't drown him out. He keeps throwing those strange coins away and has been disappointed at the tips.

50034

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

tutm has been to Paris Idaho many times. He still thinks they speak French there.
This particular photo was taken from our apartment overlooking the Seine River in Paris
<no lie>Very nice!</no lie>

TGFM can often be heard singing:

Well, I've never been to Paris
But I've been to Texarkana.
Oh they tell me I was born here
But I really don't remember.
In Texarkana,
Not Culver City...
What does it matter?
What does it matter?

note - Liberally adapted from Three Dog Night


________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

TUTM is a burlesque dancer.

TUTM was hit in the head by a porcelain liter stein falling off his shelf, and sputtered out the lyrics of this song:



Why"

Strings, sunburst, tuners
Why God, Why?
Sunburst, humbuckers, Les Pauls
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this clear horror?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of Les Pauls
Like a Longfellow character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

Shredders, strings,
Why God, Why?
Les Pauls, , tuners
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this clear disaster that is my life?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of Les Pauls
Like a Longfellow character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this clear misery?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of Les Pauls
Like a Longfellow character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

Twang Twang Twang
The Twang is the Thang

Then PC lost all focus and slipped off to sleep
When she awoke, she knew she had a song but it had escaped her.

Angrily she put on some Earl Gray Tea and ate some ginko. She strained and strained and with the memory boost and the quick buzz she received from the Earl, she remembered. That wasn't any good, what a waste of the Earl.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

Out of childhood into manhood
Now had grown great tee-yew-tee-em,
Skilled in all the craft of hunters,
Learned in all the lore of old men,
In all youthful sports and pastimes,
In all manly arts and labors.
Swift of foot was tee-yew-tee-em;
He could shoot an arrow from him,
Then run forward with such fleetness,
That the arrow fell behind him
And he plays some righteous tele

Mike attends TUTM's burlesque shows.....he thinks he's all tricky sticking canadian $ bills in TUTM's garter belt.

SimonC is on a Roky Ericson jag, now on the Blieb Alien period

tEURxhZzeTU

(is that a partscaster with a bender being played by the lead guitarist?)

PC thinks the above video has easier lyrics to decipher than Aussie crawl - not by much though....
Nap-gw171dw

Joel Terry has stopped lying about me.

<no lie>Tomorrow will probably be a big day for PC as she becomes a Friend of Leo's.</no lie>
But for tonight:

The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of Night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.

PC sees the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o'er her
That her soul cannot resist:

A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain.

Mike uses candyfloss to clean his teeth.

Moggl says he don't know no poetry nohow (he got that from He Haw, which is now playing in Germany). He cleans his teeth with Cookoo clock bird beaks that he collects when trying to stop them from getting back inside the clock. His teeth are stained from Black Forest Walnut, but no plaque. He also uses them as tiny little picks for his prized collection of miniature Teles.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

There was a Tuh Tum on a hill,
Who seldom, if ever, stood still;
He ran up and down,
In his Grandmother's gown,
Which adorned that Tuh Tum on a hill.

There was a young man from Culver City,
He went by the name of TGFMike
Busy by day, but at night such a pity
He couldn't bring forth a song or a ditty

Along came a Tele to stand by his side
Black on Black he played it with pride
A gift of a friend much to his delight
though wooden in nature, in stature so right

And then the dream ended and he woke up.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

There was a young man named tuh-tum
Who spent his youth drunken on rum
When he reached middle-age
He became quite a sage
And drinks only vodka, by gum

TUTM changed his philips screws for slotted screws on his Schwinn, and believes his tone improved by 50%.

PC changed all the strings on all her teles to round-wound stainless 9s and plays exclusively above the 11th fret. Her cats dig it.

TGFMIKE lives an octave lower than everyone else.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

tutm has a new 500 pound, 2000 watt amplifier that uses one of the walls in his house as a speaker. The amp can only reproduce sub-sonic sub-harmonics. It's very cool. When tutm plays the intro to Smoke On The Water, it feels exactly like the 1994 Northridge earthquake as experienced in Torrance CA.

TUTM has asked for me to put a down-payment on a taxidermist business in Paris for him.

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/DSCF4286.jpg

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/DSCF4287.jpg

After 2 weeks in France, jp has developed a very refined taste in surrealist art. Apparently his taste in shoes remains the same.

Mike will be refining his wine cellar with some great Burgundy wines compliments of Tremeaux vineyards and yours truly.

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/DSCF4244.jpg

Mike will be refining his wine cellar with some great Burgundy wines compliments of Tremeaux vineyards and yours truly.

I was very excited when I first read jp's latest post. Then I remembered this is the liar's thread.

Originally Posted by jim_pridx
Mike will be refining his wine cellar with some great Burgundy wines compliments of Tremeaux vineyards and yours truly.

I'll trade the Taxidermy opportunity for some of the wine? But then I awoke and it was all just a bad Parisian dream.

BTW- JP I thought the restaurants were better than that Rodent Cafe.

Oh and TGFMIKE wants some Eau de Rodent if you can get some. he likes a splash after his weekly bath.

________________
tutm has started taking Ritalin to enhance his brain power. - TGFM

TUTM wants to relocate to la Rive Gauche to complete his latest novel

Claude Pelieu and J.J. Lebel Discuss the Early Verlaine Bread Crust Fragments

No that is a lie. It's actually a tune by Fugs.

However, I think I might be on the verge of something.

Perhaps something drawn by Hergé.

I did notice that El Tedsco has put in a few recent appearances in this thread; his wit was missed, and all his banter.

RSG, on the other hand, I admit I have no idea what he's on about.

TGFMike is a freelance sommelier, acting solely on the spur of the moment, in any random restaurant he happens to be in.

And I see now that I have become a "friend of Leo's" solely by virtue of 2000 posts. Gawrsh!

Thanks everyone.

PC's auto-response lying program seems to have hit a patch of bad code.