Make up a lie about the poster above you!

Sex Pistols Punk or Green Day (shudders) sellout punk?

Sex Pistols Punk or Green Day (shudders) sellout punk?

RANCID punk

RGVTVndSgog

TRog is here coz his mom banned him from facebook 'til he tidies his room.

RANCID? lord, take me now.


redstringuitar invented that god awful LOLcat

the SEX PISTOLS? Cynically manufactured group by that Svengali "Talcy Malcy" Malcolm McLaren.

Here's TRogers' school picture

http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/7479/funkbaby.jpg

(mascot for Dean Whitbread's Pod of Funk)

Deleted because it was a bad idea bcuz citizens aren't allowed to joke about those things post 9/1/1

http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/5754/c4caster.jpg

the SEX PISTOLS? Cynically manufactured group by that Svengali "Talcy Malcy" Malcolm McLaren.

Yeah...but that doesn't alter the fact that they really were full of snot and apathy.

Yeah...but that doesn't alter the fact that they really were full of snot and apathy.

redstringuitar is full of piss and vinegar. And stewed prunes.

Telebrew, being the largest distributor of stewed prunes in the western 8 states, has decided to branch out for a larger market share:

Char-broiled prunes.

Less fat, and no preservatives, but you get that cool char-broiled taste............

Praisecaster is worried he will be thrown off the earth's axis for playing rock and roll during Solstice

http://www.de-fact-o.com/php_uploads/Image/equinox.jpg

Groovey still cannot be found, but it is rumored that he kidnapped Waldo, and is holding his stupid sweater hostage, and is threatening to weave in several rolls of dental floss throughout it, if his demands are not met.

What are hsi demands you ask?

Why, he wants Telebrew to bring back the poached, chipotle flavored prunes........

Praisecaster would have us believe that it's seredipity that the thread is suddenly filled with prunus references, or dried vitis vinifera, if you will. And as one advances in age, a certain colonic preoccupation is the inevitable outcome.

So, oldsters, observe the frequence of your movements and take comfort in listening to this particular theme music whilst on yer Throne.

58-k014A6po

PS: none other that Louis Armstrong endorsed Swiss Kriss. Bear that in mind.

Penny's just sore because someone told her she was full of ****** when she was, in fact, chronicly constipated and in dire need of colonic irrigation backed up with an increase in dietry fibre.
So sing along and stop straining Penny, you'll bust a gut!!

bO8ygyDgD6Q

You wouldn't want this to happen now would you?

http://ta.kewego.com/t/0/154x114/iLyROoaftMW9_2.jpg (http://www.kewego.co.uk/video/iLyROoaftMW9.html)
Constipation - kewego (http://www.kewego.co.uk/video/iLyROoaftMW9.html)

I don't know how this happened, but Redstringgguitar is considered a:

hQTNBWIdLeI

PennyCentury believes in Santa Claus, and Coca Cola. But mostly in Santa.

HoodieMcFoodie is still waiting for his Red Ryder BB gun to arrive Christmas Day. Maybe this year!

TeleBrew knows Santa Claus is a Black Man 1234


CiNq9Cw6VVI

PennyCentury believes in Santa Claus, and Coca Cola. But mostly in Santa.

And why not? Santy brought me a 12 string 335 copy, a Fender Koa Telecaster and a Fender Super Champ XD. Who am I to claim he doesn't exist!

Besides, what has Coca Cola done for me?

HoodieMcFoodie is still waiting for his Red Ryder BB gun to arrive Christmas Day. Maybe this year!

You'll shoot your eye out, kid!

And why not? Santy brought me a 12 string 335 copy, a Fender Koa Telecaster and a Fender Super Champ XD. Who am I to claim he doesn't exist!


This quote is meaningless without pics :wink:


Besides, what has Coca Cola done for me?


Geez where do I start? Without Coca Cola, Penny wouldn't have hair that shines and she wouldn't get that great glaze on the Christmas Turkey.

HoodieMcFoodie is a strict follower of the belief that "Christmas Down Under" is only accomplished by mounting the Christmas Tree to the ceiling. Upside down, ofcourse.

El Tedesco is jealous because he knowns that due to World time differences, Santa brings all the good presents to the good boys and girls in Australia first and the rest of the world gets the dregs that settle to the bottom of the sack, just like that dust at the bottom of a corn flakes packet.

Hoodie gave his wife a Hammond Organ for Christmas...

Five pounds of ham
and six inches of o-r-g-a-n

Penny farts in church then blames small children. Oh wait, it has to be lie? Never mind that one then...

Penny spikes the drinks of elderly gentlemen then has her way with their wallets in order to support her B.C. Rich addiction.

The statement about flatulence in Church is of course a lie -- I haven't been inside a church in ages.


MondoGuitar knows I have a jones for classic BC Riches, like neck-through Mockingbirds, Eagles, etc., and I disdain the current line of ultra-pointy models. I used to have a "real" Mockingbird, but gave it away. He will not use that knowledge to lead me to his secret stash of maple and walnut Bernardo Rico masterpieces.

TeleBrew puts olives in the beer mug AFTER pouring the paint from his lift.

The above poster (me) apparently has no idea what thread he is on...

Got to move fast on this one I guess.

Good Iron is just trying to cash in on Penny Century's in-depth knowledge of Hammond organs. After all, he thinks he knows for certain that she won't personally accept anything less than 12 pounds of ham and 10 inches of "o-r-g-a-n." He firmly believes his "handle" alone is enough to convince her of this.

Jim Pridx is shaken, not stirred. And it's all because of Penny Century.

When not playing guitar, Bilious Prudence likes to start bar brawls. Fortunately, she has a mean right hook to match her picking technique.

Dirty Steve has a hook in place of his right hand after an accident down at the sawmill...he plays his Tele with real snap nowadays though.

Bbbbut Redstring, how does he go to the bathroom? (ouch)

Bilious Prudence has traveled every inch of Singapore's 274 square miles looking for a plate of Gnatzee Goring. In 1959, she recorded "Tonight You Belong To Me" with her sister, Bilious Patience. Later, the tune was covered by copycat sisters without digestive problems, named simply "Patience and Prudence", which was very popular.

PC had an Electric Prune and Magic Mushroom Ohm lett this morning for a breakfast of champions

FqNuabPwpAs

Groovey Retorts subbed for Ray White in this performance of Groovey's theme song

5uRvR2oF3FQ

PennyCentury's favorite Zappa? Moon-Unit. True story.

TeleBrew's favorite Zappa is Dweezil, but only as Ajax on Duckman!

q8449GMAuUw

MondoGuitar, Dirty Steve, Good Iron, Bilious Prudence ... don't be drive-by posters in this thread! Come back, the regulars haven't had a chance to give y'all their best.

My ratio is 634/4788 or 7.55 percent of all posts in this thread.

I hope that someone else has a higher percentage!

This is where one could be disingenuous and congratulate Penny on her 7.55% lie thread post ratio...and her 1000+ overall posts, given that she has a real life too...but I'm not going to do that, she deserves better!

Penny Century and Redstring guitar are twins seperated at birth!

gary is a mad ox with a DD bust. The vet wasn't happy with mere castration, so injected him with a bucketful of bovine estrogen as well, just in case...

Oops...it was late and my eyes were tired, they did look as plastic as the rest of the costume at the time...sorry, should have noticed the "natural dangle"...image removed on grounds of...

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/125/329134459_fe64604f1a.jpg

Redsproinguitar owns and operates Large & Lovely, a Fancy Dress purveyor out of Wales, whose speciality is St Trinians costumes (http://www.largeandlovelyfancydress.co.uk/schoolgirl-costume-92-p.asp).

PS I think those are actual breasts in the pic above...

Penny Century should know if those are actual breasts in the picture about because that is a picture of Penny Century from her high school yearbook.

See those tubes coming out of those breasts? Well, Mr. Maddox is at the other end of those tubes drawing samples to study "Mad Ox" disease that has recently been found in Foat Wuth, Texus.

PS: Me thinks those are real boobies, too.

Jim Pridx has a nice pair of Boobies


http://users.ecs.soton.ac.uk/km/pics/kirk/boobies.jpg

Man Arrested For Speaking 'LOLCat' in Court: Is this man an idiot?

Authorities arrested Groobey Rickets for appearing in court high on PCP and speaking what is known to be in cyberculture as "LOLCat" language or "LOLSpeak." After appearing in a court in Tampa Florida, the man showed up to court eating a McDonald's Cheeseburger. Sheriff John Smiff asked the man to dump his cheeseburger because food and drinks are strictly prohibited during court session. The man replied with, "I can has my cheeseburger." Sheriff Smiff took the stupid response seriously and handcuffed the man, dumping his cheeseburger and confiscating 5 grams of powder-formed PCP from his pocket. The man was immediately arrested and he's now facing multiple charges for appearing to court high, disturbance of peace, and possession of illegal drugs. LOLSpeaking man was attending court in the first to place to fight two speeding traffic tickets.

Lady Arrested For Painting Birds Feet Aqua.

Authorities arrested Penntury for molesting a protected species of bird after playing "Purple Haze" on a very bright sounding guitar. A confused man eating cheeseburgers spilled the beans today in court as part of a plea bargain.

The woman's mother is said to be a famous redhead that sings and plays slide on a Stratocaster. The mother's name was not disclosed.

Thin69 was booted off 4Chan for posting Telecaster pr0n, which is of course off topic there. Everything else is fair game, including redheads, which is why he was lurking on 4Chan in the first place.

I always knew that Grooby would spill the beanz on me. He's not entirely blameless, though, he's the one that lent me his '61 LPB Strat and Band-Master 4 x 10.

Boblets briefly dropped by to observe that PennyCentury remains confused about the genuine article, in this case perfume. It is Chanel no 5, not 4Chan.

Redsproinguitar owns and operates Large & Lovely, a Fancy Dress purveyor out of Wales, whose speciality is St Trinians costumes (http://www.largeandlovelyfancydress.co.uk/schoolgirl-costume-92-p.asp)

Only £3.95 for UK delivery?? Those girls must be inflatable!!!

Finding Chanel N°5 a little beyond his budget, Boblets decided to get his other half the cheaper Aussie version, Canal N°5. He thought it would make a nice change from the one he got her last year...

http://media.bigoo.ws/content/image/funny/funny_546.jpg

My ratio is 634/4788 or 7.55 percent of all posts in this thread.

I hope that someone else has a higher percentage!

Penny Century is a maths genius.

100/4788*634 is 13.24%, not 7.55%

And redstringuitar is her maths tutor

HoodieMcFoodie thinks this thread has flipped polarity...it's all part of the Australian dream, to be on top for once!

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2007/09/earth-upside-down.jpg

HoodieMcFoodie thinks this thread has flipped polarity...it's all part of the Australian dream, to be on top for once!

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2007/09/earth-upside-down.jpg

Hoodie thinks that the film 2012 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_%28film%29)is real...

P C prefers One Million B C

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00018D3ZA.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

P C prefers One Million B C

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00018D3ZA.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Groovinest prefers One Million BC me thinks.........

Errr, can I borrow the DVD please?

I had to come back here to speak a lie about Thin69, which may refer to a semi hollow Telecaster or a vo-dee-o-do position in bed.

Thin69 is spending New Years' Eve singing Karaoke with the other drunk Japanese Businessmen in the Chaos Lounge at the Teleland Airport. Hope he doesn't have his room key lifted by that Hong Kong babe that's getting too friendly. Good luck, Thin, and see you here in 2010.

I make up a lie about Penny Century, who at this very moment is intoxicated on Chambord & Frexinet.

Now comes Penny Century, who has already broken all twelve of her New Year's Resolutions. She still has two Telecasters, though, and plays them every day (as promised to the owner of Daren's Music). She also plays the Agile AS820 twelve string, and promised Kurt that she would play that one every day as well. She ate twenty shrimp and cockrtail sauce before midnight and is still hungry. Maybe she'll heat the fried rice for a post midnight snack.

Won't someone else take the pledge and post to this thread? All's you got to do is make up a lie about the poster above you. How hard can that be?

Oy vey.

Oh yeah... HAPPY NEW YEAR!

/cue the party hats and noisemakers

Penny knows that she can always come back here and goose and get goosed by the regulars..

..That's all I have tonight because I have to walk down the road before midnight and light fireworks with the kiddies on NY's..

Scatman's new year resolution was full of resolve, until ......

Boblets New Years resolution is to never lie again.

Happy New Year to all you liars! :lol:

El Tedesco knows the truth when he sees it.

When PennyCentury isn't visiting Daren's Music Centre, you can find her next door at Mary Ann's Diner, where her sandwich of choice is The Edsel - Sliced turkey breats with American cheese, lettuce, tomato and bacon on choice of breads, only $5.95 Served with her choice of French Fries, Salad, Cole Slaw, Potato Puffs, Soup or Summertime Potato Salad.

But if she's in a hurry she just orders the Liver and Onions. Only $5.25

HoodieMcFoodie ate Penny's liver with some baja beans and a nice Australian shiraz.

Happy 2021 y'all!

Hoodie's favorite hat:

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/i_love_liver_and_onions_heart_t_shi.jpg

Happy New Year!

jim_pridx's favorite hat:

http://funhousetheatrical.com/images/Funny_hat.jpg

RSG, as well as a few other folks here, thinks there's something "fishy" going on around here.

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/fishhat.jpg

Jim_Pridx wants you to take him out to the ball game;

http://www.coattails.org/now/uploaded_images/Baseball_Topper_Funny_Hat-783848.jpg

HoodieMcFoodie is not related to this man.

http://static.squidoo.com/resize/squidoo_images/250/draft_lens2339897module13083733photo_1229543394hai ry-man.jpg

And here we have Hoodie's favorite venue, the Regent Theatre, Tamworth NSW Australia's certiifiable Hot Spot, where Hoodie can be seen and heard playing "Country music". Do we know which country? Ahem. Keep your strings shiny and your valves (tubes) glowing, Hoodie. Thank the creator for Google Earth, eh?

PS: Nobody eats at Mary Ann's Diner, anyway. Plus, Darens is a good hour and a half travel time from my home. They happened to be the only NH store to have a remaindered Fender Koa topped Telecaster in (new old) stock.

It's always fun.
http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/8522/regenttheater.jpg

BTW, here's a piccie of the "Slim Dusty" referred to in the Regent's marquee. Very famous and respected Country performer is Ozzieland,
http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/7384/slimdusty2001.jpg

PennyCentury once had a beer with Duncan, 'cause Duncan's her mate.

Apparently this thread works by skipping over a person every 121 pages at random. Thanks Penny!

Back to thread: Boblets can hit a kangaroo 30 yards away with a squire neck bent at a 90 degree angle.

What Bayou Picker was trying to say, is:

Boblets knows how to play the "Boomerang Tele".

Aside from this, Bayou Picker also seems to have depickted, that there is obviously something "apparent" in this thread ...

I could have sworn I saw some cherry trees, the last time I canoed the Bayous. :cool:

El Tedesco gets his bearings after imbibing in some of that good old Bayou moonshine, otherwise, like poor old Charlie Drake, his boomerang won't come back.

What Bayou Picker doesn't realize is that "fresh meat" in this thread in the form of a new poster becomes an attractive target for creative lying, to the exclusion of the Usual Gang of posters. So I reserve the right to skip the one directly above me, since I am all lied out on folks like El Tedesco, Boblets, Hoodie and Jim_P (for example).

Also, I'm not too keen on the bizarre hat theme, there are too many chances for that one to go off the rails, as it were.

Plus, where's Buckocaster? He hasn't dipped his toes in these fine waters in dozens of pages. I'll bet he could make up a lie about the physics of the Tele and how its form followed function.

What Bayou Picker was trying to say, is:

Boblets knows how to play the "Boomerang Tele".

Aside from this, Bayou Picker also seems to have depickted, that there is obviously something "apparent" in this thread ...

I could have sworn I saw some cherry trees, the last time I canoed the Bayous. :cool:

You think I don't understand this, but oh, on the contrary my friend. ;)

Back to thread: I'll go easy on Penny. I hear the bakery that her family runs, cuts the bottoms off of muffins and feeds them to starving homeless babies. No, my phrasing was too correct.

Bayou_Picker picks his nose, his banjo and his friends with equal diligence and aplomb.

Redstringhuitar has replaced his three-barrel brass Tele bridge with a buzz bridge so he can sound like an electrified banjo. He will play Joseph Parry's Myfanwy for the crowd at the next Conwy United F.C. match.

PennyCentury stole my whole stock of Brazilian Pau Brasil (which I had had plans to make some violin bows with) in order to make some saw dust. Saw dust from this wood is famous by its natural properties as hair dye.
Natural Schizo Red is the color she sports now on her hair.

Shizotronic is proud of his name.

El Tedesco is proud of being a "cyber friend" of a guy with such name!

Schizotronic is a crowd.

redstring guitar spends so much time posting to this one thread, he's forgotten how to play guitar.

TGIFmike has a long way to go if he wants to beat my current total posts to this here thread, which is 644, BTW. Also, Mike has promised to wait in line to pick up my tickets for the Bonnie Hunt Show.

tgfmike once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

Reno? Why Reno?

Not Reno, dummy. Rio
Rio Dey Jinnero

- tag at the end of Michael Nesmith's RIO, Elephant Parts,

PennyCentury, number one fan of Peter Allen, "has been to cities that never close down, from New York to Rio to Old London Town" - but does she still call Australia home?

Boblets favourite lyric of all time is "I've been to paradise but I've never been to me." - True story.

Red String loves Mealey Pudding

PennyCentury once had a beer with Duncan, 'cause Duncan's her mate.

Yar, he (David Gordon Kirkpatrick) took me to "the pub with no beer". And then he wrote a song about it.

Unless you mean Seymour Duncan, who also taught me to spin bobbins and make pickups.

You're never alone if you're Schizotronic.

PennyCentury, number one fan of Peter Allen, "has been to cities that never close down, from New York to Rio to Old London Town" - but does she still call Australia home?


Sydney is the city that can't sleep, right?

PennyCentury loves the nightlife. She loves to boogie, on the disco round. Oh baby!

So Hoodie, how much is a Taamworth?

Same as a plate of Liver and Onions at Mary Ann's diner. $5.25

Is it true Penny that you had a rhinoplasty so you could talk like The flashy girl from Flushing, the Nanny named Fran?

Hoodie's new year's resolution was to continue his eternal quest for the perfect hat.

Hoodie's new year's resolution was to continue his eternal quest for the perfect hat.

Who needs a hat when he's got the perfect collection of Hoodies?

But I think in this New Year, I'll be calling him Hoodsie, after that quintessential Baaaahstin (Boston, that is) ice milk treat, the Hoodsie.
Here it is being served at Mary Ann's, the perfect ending for the Blue Plate Special (mystery meatloaf, watery mixed veg, beets, runny mash potatoes, two slices of white bread).

http://img510.imageshack.us/img510/3030/hoodsie.jpg

Um... wait, what?
Oh -- Moggl. Nobody knows what to say about Moggl. He bought an 70's Orange amp because it has fist and wavy lines instead of confusing Englischer wortes? Oh what am I saying. Moggl is proficient in seventeen languages; unfortunately none of them are currently spoken on planet earth, so there's that. But it's good to see him around, after being away for a spell. So how was the food at the Landsberg lockup, M?

PennyCentury not only invented the question mark, but also the sparrow and rather curiously, trousers.

Dawg is, mysteriously enough, quite the cat fancier.

GaryJ likes to spend his leisure time relaxing after a busy day. He likes to relax back in his comfy chair with his pipe and slippers, a glass of absynthe in his had. For visual relaxation he tunes his 50" flat screen LED TV to the AV channel, where he watches a 4 hour VHS of analog TV snow that was given to him for his 21st birthday, played at half speed. And there, in amongst the snow and the flicker and flow he sees millenia upon millenia of his ancestors all staring back at him and waving madly.

In Hoodie's home town, each unit in a block of tenement flats is called a millenia.

http://www.corbisimages.com/images/DF001039.jpg?size=67&uid=F960CA1C-C58C-4280-A79B-BAF66008F14B

redstringuitarrrrr is the founder and sole member of the Terry Jones Appreciation Society. John Cleese once approached red for membership, but John was sent packing and told to silly-walk his way back to Lancashire.

(that's strange, this last line gets guffaws in Kent, I'm told)

Penny is one of the old-school "Live Free or Die" brigade and has published a poem, inspired by the the famous literary work of Sarah Josepha Hale, entitled "Mary Had a Little too Much Lamb".
Penny often vists her uncle, Alan Bartlett Shepard Jr. and enjoys weightlessness in his patented antigravity machine.

Redstringguitar does not enjoy the enveloping emotional ways of the modern day. In fact, he likes curtains. Shiny yellow curtains. With lace.

mr. hatman often opts for earmuffs.

jazztele makes many mistakes, which he passes off as jazz.

redstringguitar listens to jazztele make many mistakes and thinks, "How avant garde".

jazztele makes many mistakes, which he passes off as jazz.

that's not a lie.

jazztele stumbled across this site looking for info on tele tubbies.

I don't need to make up lies about GaryJ, he's quite capable of making up his own. He's what he says about himself on his twitter homepage,

I am: a web developer, an advanced scuba diver, a former teacher and prison lecturer. I: juggle fire, lived in Malaysia for 9 months,

jazztele makes many mistakes, which he passes off as jazz.

Redstring thought that's how jazz was invented, or at least Bebop.
That, and flatted thirds.

C'mon Penny, you can tell us. Which one came first, jazz or jazz cigarettes? I know you know...:wink:

I think you've hit on something there, Hoodsie.
("jazz cigarettes" is slang for Mu.ggles, K.i.f, G.anja, Mar.yJa.ne, etc.)

Condensed timeline:
2727 B.C. First recorded use of c.annabis as medicine in Chinese pharmacopoeia. In every part of the world humankind has used cann.abis for a wide variety of health problems.

[...]

June 2003 Canada is first country in the world to offer medical ma.rijuana to its patients.

So it's only taken 4,000 years to get this far. QED.

Please excuse if I have violated some TOS or AUP here. I am not a drugs user, but if I ever develop glaucoma...

Didn't Aunt Jen bake cookies for you once? You know she looks like Jerry Garcia's sister. Just sayin' :wink:

Didn't Aunt Jen bake cookies for you once? You know she looks like Jerry Garcia's sister. Just sayin' :wink:

Just because she looks like Jerry Garcia's sister, doesn't mean that she cooks like Jerry Garcia's sister.

Hoodsie imports Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream by jet to soothe his munchies. The local Splice establishment no longer pleases Hoodsie.

We down under have it on good authority that Penny is first in line to get Ronnie's job as support guitar to Keith, should the need arise - if only she can wean herself from the glaucoma medicine.

Boblets has 37 arms, but 1/2 of a leg.

Once upon a time Boblets used to have 37 arms and a whole leg, but PengBoy was feeling a bit peckish.

Hoodsie has a very unusual genital configuration. Where the average man has ONE, Hoodsie has FIVE.

Boblets wanted to know how Hoodsie's underwear fit.

Hoodsie replied; "like a glove!"

PennyCentury has clearly been into the glaucoma medicine, and has become very ham-fisted in her attempt to tell a lie.

Bob actually does not let....

GaryJ was swaddled in a half-bourbon barrel when he was born. His family lived on a dirt road, and he walked five miles uphill each way to school until he left in the fifth year of his seventh grade to take a job splitting rails. Wait; that was the life of Abraham Lincoln.
Do over.
GaryJ was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, went to school overseas at Eton, and attended Sandhurst Military Academy. He was decorated for meritorious service after the War to End All Wars. He moved to California and invented the Telecaster and Precision Bass, which he sold to Leo Fender for twenty four dollars and some beads. After discovering gold at Sutter's Mill, he bought many acres of orange groves and built housing developments for the returning GIs at the end of dubya dubya two.

GaryJ told me all of this in person. He likes to reminisce after drinking too many FogCutters.

Penny thinks the Twelve Days of Christmas were over on Christmas Day. She used that knowledge to arrange for Goober Rec's prolonged holidays.




Oh -- Moggl. Nobody knows what to say about Moggl. He bought an 70's Orange amp because it has fist and wavy lines instead of confusing Englischer wortes? Oh what am I saying. Moggl is proficient in seventeen languages; unfortunately none of them are currently spoken on planet earth, so there's that. But it's good to see him around, after being away for a spell. So how was the food at the Landsberg lockup, M?

Yeah, nobody speaks English any more these days, what a shame. If I was a truly sedentary person, I guess I wouldn't have reason to complain about the troubles of travelling with one's guitar in other threads. :mrgreen:

Moggl can anticipate the punch-line in everyone's lie-post before it's delivered. His doctor says he has a problem with "premature 'e'-jocularity".

fEVUKofgNrU

in the mid 90's scatman released THIS atrocity on the world ;)

I decline

thats true though, I am in a state of decline....

simonc is actually in a state of civilizational "recline":

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4028/4252838737_635f07e30d.jpg

Scatman created a Warholian silkscreen in 8th-grade art class titled Re-Cline, which hangs in the boiler room of the Capitol Building in Austin:

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a296/DimeIV/patsycline.jpg

While Scatman's aspirations of emulating his idol--namely, in building a "Factory South," creating pop art, and surrounding himself with bohemian eccentrics--never quite materialized, he does hang out in his "Backyard Tool Shed," eating Pop-Tarts® and spraying Krylon® on an eccentric elderly (and quite likely schizophrenic) transient named "Kap'n Klem."

Joel

Joel has his own private space-time wormhole that he uses for time travel (He named it "Andy").

At this moment, Joel is sitting in a booth at Studio 54 with Truman Capote who is discussing how his novel "Answered Prayers" will end while leering at a young Debbie Harry on the dance floor.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4029/4254179799_cf7b9f911d_o.png

ScatMan is confuseded. That's not Debbie Harry, it's International Chrysis.
As for Joel Terry's "Factory South", the men starring in his "films" are actually men crossdressed as men. The receptionist is a cousin of Jayne County, named DeWayne County.
The name of Jayne's old band was "humorous" because Wayne County, IL, was where the use of the electric chair for executions in IL was resumed.

Nope, Penny is the one who is con-fuz-ed-ed!

Jim knows a thing or two about co-eds.

He knows that they enjoy pillow fighting in their panties and kissing each other a lot, according to all of those Girls Gone Wild video commercials he's seen on late-night TV.

He also knows...

Nope, Jim just knows one thing about co-eds.

Joel

Joel owns a Snuggie and plays Daisy Rock guitars exclusively.

DMichel123 only plays one song on his orange and white Tele... Rocky Top.

Joel Terry has no experience whatsoever of "top shelf" magazines.

GaryJ learned "Smoke On The Water" last week.

The three things that DMichel123 hates most are: people who can count and people who can't.

Redstringguitar taught me "Smoke on the Water" last week.

GaryJ remains confused as to why his smoke goes out when he is on the water - something to do with waves.

DMichel123 only plays one song on his orange and white Tele... Rocky Top.

How'd you know? :wink: Actually, our old bass player knew it, we played it on Saturdays this season. I faked it.

Oh, and GaryJ used to be JennyJ. :twisted:

Actually, I spelled it JenniJ just to be cool.

Gary J that is not cool

D123 can play two songs on somedays

Bobbletts smokes on the water

RedString doesn't count at all

Joel is the only co-ed at his seminary school

JimP is just dazed not confused

and PC is really Dada

http://www.acsu.buffalo.edu/~jconte/Images/Duchamp_RoseSelavy.jpg

1-2-3 is as high as Dmichel can count. He once worked in the marble quarry, but was fired for stealing veneer. He brought George Dickel back to Tennessee, although to a dry county. He was a guide at the 1982 World's Fair. He owns a music store, but they only sell Luna guitars and homebuilt Magnatone clones.

And Grooby just posted a picture of Marcel DuChamp (Dada artist) in drag as "Rose Selavy" meaning "eros c'est la vie".

I guess we'll send Grooby back to Fire Island for the off-season.

...me and her...used to go out!...

George Dickle is the Shellac Penny Century uses to get Veneered.

Here PCC and Roy Acuff really have a Grand Ole Opry Time

http://www.morethings.com/music/roy_acuff/minnie-pearl_roy-acuff.jpg

Groovey Records is deathly afraid of gerbils.

TGs initials stand for Talking Gerbil

TGs initials stand for Talking Gerbil

...which is very important for Hoodie because he only eats the non-talking gerbils.

Gary J that is not cool

D123 can play two songs on somedays

Bobbletts smokes on the water

RedString doesn't count at all

Joel is the only co-ed at his seminary school

JimP is just dazed not confused

and PC is really Dada

http://www.acsu.buffalo.edu/%7Ejconte/Images/Duchamp_RoseSelavy.jpg


So we're "stacking" lies now? Cool! :razz:

Joel

Groovey Records is deathly afraid of gerbils.

Gerbils are deathly afraid of Groovey Records. With good reason...

(here's his last "open audition" for gerbils)

Gerbils are deathly afraid of Groovey Records. With good reason...

That's because Groovey Records real name is Richard Gere...

PennyCentury is really Bea Miles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bea_Miles), the Sydney eccentric from the 1960's & 70's that once famously took a cab ride from Sydney to Perth and back and paid the cab driver in $5 notes, one note at a time.

Hoodsie is labouring under the delusion that I died in 1973., like the real Bea Miles. If that's the case, then who is typing this? Huh?

It was Hoodsie, in fact, that stood up in Australian Parliament and gave a one finger salute to the Prime Minister, broke wind and leapt out the window. All because the beer tax was raised a ha'penny.

PennyCentury is famous for "Well may you say God save the Queen, because nothing will save the Governor General".

Boblets has built the Old windmill of Wickham park with a teaspoon. But he was young and strong in those days.

last year Kornelius was a spectator at le Tour de France. From the sidelines, he shot peas at Lance Armstrong's spokes, hoping to put him our of the race. The US Embassy demanded that Kornelius be arrested for his assault. Instead, he was awarded with the Legion d'Honneur and kissed on both cheeks (of his face, Boblets) by the Lorient Minister of Culture. Later, a scandal erupted when it was learned that Kornelius did not use Brittany peas, but those imported from Germany. Oh, the shame of it all...

PennyCentury often busks in front of Phenix Hall in Concord, most notably performing James Brown's "Please, Please, Please" (sung as "Peas, Peas, Peas"), complete with impassioned "cape-over-the-shoulder/feigned exhaustion" routine.

For the obligatory dénouement of the tune, Penny is "caped" and "assisted" by none other than former journeyman Major League Baseball pitcher and Concord native, Bob Tewksbury, who is quick to confess a "great and abiding fondness" for both peas and people named Lynn, except Fred Lynn, former four-time Gold Glove-winning and nine-time All-Star baseball great, who thinks peas taste like "goat scat." (How Fred Lynn knows what goat scat tastes like has been hotly debated for years by baseball fans, goat herders, coprophiles, A2M fetishists, and that guy who played "Brett" in Pulp Fiction and Robbie Krieger in The Doors.)

Joel D. Terry
Circumlocutionist extraordinaire; author of the Caldecott Medal-winning children's book, Sickly Little Kenneth's Enchanted Driveway Gravel Collection; Ambassador to Reality for legendary rock guitarist and head case, Joe Walsh; and all-around (albeit well-meaning) dіck

Now that Boblets is back from a major/minor computer dummy spit, and running full steam ahead on Linux Mint in a pleasant shade of green, he can confirm the frequently whispered rumour that Joel Terry does indeed have a party trick wherein he can eat a full knife load of peas without spill, provided he has not previously imbibed in a sarsaparilla (root beer).

last year Kornelius was a spectator at le Tour de France. From the sidelines, he shot peas at Lance Armstrong's spokes, hoping to put him our of the race. The US Embassy demanded that Kornelius be arrested for his assault. Instead, he was awarded with the Legion d'Honneur and kissed on both cheeks (of his face, Boblets) by the Lorient Minister of Culture. Later, a scandal erupted when it was learned that Kornelius did not use Brittany peas, but those imported from Germany. Oh, the shame of it all...

^I hate this post^.

Boblets is flirting with headaches, depression and boredom by moving to Linux...in 3 weeks time, he'll be burning all his green clothes...and the living room curtains!

Redstainguitar is lying, therefore he loved my post.

Redstain is a massive Benny Hill fan, so much that he gives all his mates the "Benny Hill upside-down Salute", then gives chase with Yakkety-Sax playing in the background.

penny has never seen an episode of the Benny Hill show, nor seen what benny looks like, but she is convinced he looks like Walter Cronkite

Praisecaster is right, I don't know what Benny Hill looks like. But I do know that he saved lots of money on writers over the decades, reusing the same material over and over.

Praisecaster would have you believe that this person is Benny Hill. I disagree:

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/7139/fredscuttle.jpg

PennyCentury, I have discovered, is a member of the New Hampshire Militia, Covert Op's. It wasnt until recently, that I discovered I was targeted by the NHMCO. It seems that "supposedly" a friend told them I was a home grown terrorist, and was planning to desecrate the New London, New Hampshire - Loaf of Bread Tombstone by fitting it with a pink and neon green striped tuu-tuu.

I was hit with an incredible bout of diarhea one night, and I found out later it was a tactic by NHMCO, to isolate me in "the luove", in order for them to ransack my bedroom, and uncover any plans that I was preparing. Unable to find any plans, they decided to pilfer a my high school photo, and begin the subversive tactic of discrediting me as a well known maple syrup bootlegger from Rumney, NH. His name is Captain Fred Scuttle.

Yeah, sure, PraiseCaster. Good one, you certainly fooled some of the people, but not all. The story of the incipient diarrhoea episode was of course a deliberate sidetrack to fool the unwary that you are, of which there is no doubt, the dreaded Battered Pudding Hurler of English Goon Show fame, episode 123 from 1953. 50 year old puddings develop quite a hard skin, don't you know - dangerous up to 20 paces.

Boblets can't have any pudding because he didn't eat his meat, someone else did...and Robertalets is furious.

Here's RSG favorite Beatles album, he bought it from Pennycentury
http://i590.photobucket.com/albums/ss343/pascaltalon/The-Best-of-Benny-Hill-1992-soundtr.png?t=1263234114

Here's Kornelius's all-time favorite album. He purchased it all on his own, and his all-time favorite song is none other than "Tiny Bubbles."

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/cd-cover.jpg

Kornelius bought it from antibiotic overuse and the applause of a Parisian strumpet.

redstringythreads was the set dresser for Jack Lord on the Hawaii-5-0 set. On breaks, redstringuy would have Wo Fat rolling with laughter as red attempted to play his UkeTelecaster.

PennyCentury is a distant relative of Chinese celebrity Low Fat, whose name features on the label of every second item in the supermarket.

Boblets like to store everything in a cool dry place.

Hoodie washes in bottled water and dry cleans his car.

redstringuitar waxes his car and philosophical at once.

Joel Terry scans groceries by day and MNPD radio communication by night...he knows every Old Hickory bad boy by name and MO.

Redstringuitar uses cheap stick deodorant that causes his pit hairs to twist up into tiny white dreadlocks when exposed to his shiny, stretchy double knit 70's disco shirts.

JDM's Tele bears the legend 'Harmful or fatal if swallowed' on the pickguard, in large, friendly letters.

JDM's Tele bears the legend 'Harmful or fatal if swallowed' on the pickguard, in large, friendly letters.
Moggl has a third nipple right below his left clavicle and his obsessive-compulsive Teutonic sense of ordnung requires him to have it pierced too.

Joel Terry scans groceries by day and MNPD radio communication by night...he knows every Old Hickory bad boy by name and MO.

Actually, my younger brother is a detective with the Metro Nashville/Davidson County Police Department...so I do know a few bad boys and their MOs (but only in passing).

But I digress....

jdm61 has no second thought about stating first thoughts--particularly when he thinks it's thoughtful to think of something first without thinking a thing about it.

Just food for thought.

Joel

Joel Terry moved to Old Hickory, Tennessee after purchasing a 52 RI. He loved his new "vintage" guitar so much he sought to immerse himself in that whole era. He was greatly disappointed when he found out that the neighborhood known as Rayon City had no stores selling vintage rayon clothing.

Aw c'mon, I can't just keep lying about Joel...so here's a fact about the Tenesseen Telecasterist:
When standing in queues at retail outlets or anywhere there is music playing...each of his buttocks begins to oscillate independently, his tongue protrudes and shakes like a rattlesnake's tail and his eyes begin to roll in perfect 16ths to the beat, while his elbows flap like chicken wings.

Redstringuitar actually uses blue strings.

Codinho knows about blue strings. He likes to play them every day.

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/s320x240.jpg

Joel Terry has proposed that he be chosen to replace Conan on late night TV. Joel's show will be broadcast live from the Ryman and will feature musical talent from the pages of the TDPRI. He wants to call it The Telecaster Power Hour.

penny century is the one of a few women in new hampshire who has all of her teeth

The OB uses his dentures to file the frets on his Tele.

TeleBrew plays slide with a big, brass lamp

PengBoy's favourite instrument is a nose flute.

Homerzeppelin will be the deciding factor in the Ravens Colts game.

As millions of Colts fans pleadingly pray for a game-winning field goal, God will be busy handling Homerzeppelin's absentminded exclamation: "God, what am I gonna do with all this crap in my garage?"

Heritage is really Rip Van Winkle.

Redstringuittar is really Rip Taylor.

PennyCentury prefers the plastic ono band to the beatles

Simonc prefers the Bay City Rollers to everyone.

lmao! good one!

Simon is actually Leslie McKeown, the bane of Edinburgh.

At the end of each day, Moggl berates himself for leaving his flamenco costume at the dry cleaners.

Alas, Flamenco dancing! The forbidden passion!

Each morning before breakfast, Heritage measures the gap between his guitar strings at the 6th fret. His favourite key is Bb but he can't play 'in the zone' if one or more strings have wandered during the night.

Boblets finally had to tap into his hoard of ANZAC biscuits, which he traded for an Indonesian Squier Tele, coincidentally refinished to the color of an ANZAC biscuit.

Lent her bondage gear to Rob Halford when the JP tour bus was impounded by the New Hampshire State Police.

Bones owns one of RuPaul's G-strings....and it's autographed.

The 2 words that bones hates most are "nuts" and "saddles"...it's wearing him down.

The 2 words that bones hates most are "nuts" and "saddles"...it's wearing him down.
While at university, redstringguitar once made beer money by volunteering for a government funded case study that was trying to determine whether boiled cabbage actually does cause flatulence.

The Doctor put jdm61 right about the word flatulence after he went there complaining of fellatio.

redstringuitar once put all his eggs in the same basket

As of now Hoodie is busking the main streets of downtown Tamworth, with his eye out for the talent scouts. I wonder why?

Boblets has won the Brisbane Chili Cook-off Championship 6 of the last 7 years, only loosing in 2005 to Brendan Martin.

In response to his defeat, Boblets promptly dispatched Mr. Martin via hired goons.

homerzeppelin lives in Hired Goons and distinctly remembers seeing Brendan Martin passing through in 2005.

Elvis Costello's tune Goon Squad was inspired by redstringytar's hired goons.

got invited to one of jacko's sleepovers as a child, but was so ugly he was made to sleep in his own bed, shamonawoooohoooooojerkypeeetotaaa, aaaaaaaaaah!

Due to an injury he sustained in his teens samdrub had to have steel rods inserted into his neck vertibrae too keep them from falling apart, making him the only TDPRI member who truly has a bolt on neck.

Hey if the joke is good it's worth repeating. :cool:

After 4,956 posts to this thread, the best Blazer can come up with is a repeat joke!

Fortunately, he gets to keep his Telecasters.

Since Penny has been on this thread from the very beginning, it's impossible to get anything past her.

In other news, Penny has been trying her hand at her lutherie skills with Blazer tutoring her. Their ultimate goal was to eliminate the bolt-on-neck once and for all.

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/Weird-guitar.jpg

Jim took his guitar pictured above, and auditioned for Backstreet Boys. They hired him on the spot.
They toured for 1 week.

The girls loved him so much, he became a legend and decided to give up Backstreet Boys. He now tutors players everywhere how do do guitar faces that can bring in the chicks!
The video sells on Amazon!

Swee tone is worshiped as an internet god for being the creater of the TDPRI "Make up a lie about the poster above you!" thread.

homerzeppelin is worshiped as an Internet god for his flamboyant, often scathing fashion/gossip blog on The Huffington Post.

Joel

Joel Terry thirsts to be worshipped as an Internet god, only he has no computer, no Internet connection and only posts on the TDPRI via messenger pigeon. This low tech solution got off to a bad start; Paul, the recipient, dined on squab for a week before realizing the birds were carrying Joel's messages.

For ten years starting in her late teens, PennyCentury went to swimming squad training. The only problem was the pool was over chlorinated, which left her hair bright green. She has to now resort to dyeing her hair red for the next 10 years so she can say that on average her hair has been brunette for the last 20 years.

HoodieMcFoodie has never been to Tamworth's North American sister city, Tamworth NH. That's too bad, because the Tamworth NH city fathers recently instituted a Telecaster outreach program with Tamworth NSW. Tamworth NH rounded up all the local Telecaster players and shipped them off to NSW, with the admonition never to return. (and just in time for the annual Tamworth Country Music Festival!)

PennyCentury has obviously never been to Tamworth NH. It is not a city but a town with a population of 2510 at the 2000 census. So based up that number I'd say there is probably about one telecaster player in the town.

So when does your plane get in? :shock:

the poster above has a 12" penis, but doesn't use it as a rule.


"Art is only a Fart with the Effin' Left Out" samdrub 1964-Infinity and Beyond.

Peace Out.

the above poster is a virtuoso accordion and banjo player, acclaimed worldwide for selling out the Joss Street Hall, supported by the legendary Benny Bongo's Mandolin Dance Ensemble.

p.s. the definition of perfect pitch with a banjo is the ability to throw it into a skip (dumpster) without it making a sound. (a merciful act to these ears)

Peace, Out.

Samdrub is a survivor of the Telecaster Death March.

Penny is a niece of Ambrose Bierce, not related to Pierce Brosnan or Piers Anthony, and has a penchant for inquiring enquirers about Squier Esquires.

Moggl is a founding member of 60's german prog rock act Amon Düül II

Hoodie goes to sleep every night, clutching his pillow reciting " there's no place like Perth, there's no place like Perth, there's no place like Perth...." :razz::wink::smile:

Simonc loves the taste of emu export...

Hoodie goes to sleep every night, clutching his pillow reciting " there's no place like Perth, there's no place like Perth, there's no place like Perth...." :razz::wink::smile:

If you're talking about Perth in Tasmania then you are probably right. Actually your Perth is not too shabby either.

Simonc loves a diamentina cocktail...

HoodieMcFoodie originates from Perth, Scotland and is related to Angus and Malcolm.

HoodieMcFoodie originates from Perth, Scotland and is related to Angus and Malcolm.

This is just Realstronguitar's roundabout way of inferring that HE is "AC/DC" and I don't mean Back in Black, if you know what I mean,

Don't worry Penny, whatever I am, you're safe.

Don't worry Penny, whatever I am, you're safe.

Bbbut, I have Telecasters! (a left one, and a right one!)

Bbbut, I have Telecasters! (a left one, and a right one!)

Well...since you "put it like that"...

redstringuitar was once sting by a giant spider, but his good friend Sam came to the rescue. They then trudged across a barren landscape to throw a ring into a volcano. At the last second Jim_Pridx jumped out of nowhere and bit off red's finger with the ring, falling into the molten lava in the process.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why red plays a red stringed guitar.

HoodieMcFoodie got seriously pissed off when they took the "McFoodie" kids meal off the menu at Macca's

simonc has been banned from all the Hungry Jack's restaurants Down Under for dining in his underwear and scaring all the aunties by sneaking up on them and shouting "boogity!" simon counts Jack Cowin as his #1 enemy.

PennyCentury has pictures of said "undie" incident at HJ's.....and is waiting till I make it big, biding her time for the so called "smear campaign".

PennyCentury is actually a member of the Steggles family. The chicken magnates named their string of fast food outlets after their favourite daughter.

And simonc is very polite and always waits his turn...:wink:

Hoodie has a misconception about modern telecommunication. He uses mobile food - chicken on a leash.

Moggl still thinks a rubber chicken is funny

http://cliffordmedia.com.au/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/rc.jpg

Hoodsie couldn't resist this trend, and has invented the USB rubber chicken with 16GB memory

http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/3786/usbrubberchicken.jpg

Don't let Penny fool you! She's well aware of chickens, let alone chickin' pickin' & lickin'. Her number one favorite will always be KFC! The colonel has always ruled in her book!

When not consuming chicken, Jim Pridx maintains his role as the only dyslexic member of the Jim Pride group, made up of all known Jims in the Western world, bar Tasmania. Jims are known for the well known sayings "Hello Jim" originally coined by Spike Milligan, and "'ey Jimmie?" as bespoke by Celtic men of a certain age when they have a Jim question.

If you ask nicely, Boblets will regale you with his retelling of various Derek & Clive bits, depending on how lubricated Bob has become. None of those bits may be quoted here, mainly due to the intense efforts of the Moderators. Now I shall play excerpts from Hare Krishna chanting at the Baltimore Washington International Airport as captured on my Olympus LS10 digital recorder...

Penny is the front man / woman in a John Mayer tribute troupe named "Penny Mayer, & the Johns".

Simonc believes that John Mayer is the real Borat, that's why he really loves him.
http://i590.photobucket.com/albums/ss343/pascaltalon/john-mayer-borat-thong.jpg?t=1264101571

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/5530/eyebleach1hw0.png

Oops...looks like Penny overdid it with the eye bleach:

http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/725/pbwhiteeyes.jpg

redstringuitar stores his strings under the bed, if you know what I mean. ;)

Simonc's latest band promotional photograph. He's the one wearing the shades.

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/pic31556-1.jpg

Note: Eye candy for Penny, too.

simonc is so highly strung he gets taken on "holiday" periodically in a van, by fastidious men brandishing legal documents.

simonc is so highly strung he gets taken on "holiday" periodically in a van, by fastidious men brandishing legal documents.

see above photo, its true! all TRUE!

Simonc's latest band promotional photograph. He's the one wearing the shades.

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh293/jpridx/pic31556-1.jpg

Note: Eye candy for Penny, too.

jim_pridx is the little guy pulling the very same face he pulls when he's been short-changed at the gas station.

Redstringeezer not so good at hotlinking graphics.

Here's what he meant to post:

http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/725/pbwhiteeyes.jpg

"stealing" bandwidth not so good.

Redstringeezer not so good at hotlinking graphics.

Here's what he meant to post:

http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/725/pbwhiteeyes.jpg

"stealing" bandwidth not so good.

There you go, I got it from the same place you did now.
PC never knows whether to grab the wooden spoon or jump on the broomstick/bandwagon.

You people need to get off the internet and practice your guitar playing.

Hang on, no. They'll think that was the lie and than I'm saying they should stay here and post more drivel like the last 10 or so posts.

People here comes the lie.... wait for it. Drum roll please

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

People you need to hang a round here more and post more drivel like the last 10 posts or so. Especially you redstringuitar and PennyCentury.

This community service announcement bought to you by HoodieMcFoodie and the letters X, F & U and the number 5.

HoodieMcFoodie's crap at drum rolls...did you hear that? The timing was all over the place!