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Get some outside help! There are lots of smart and wise folks on the tdpri, but your situation begs for some professional counseling. This guitar thing is a symptom of much greater ills as you suggest. Many relationships go through tough times but with some help and some significant effort you can make it healthy... good luck my friend... I can't remember a thread that has disturbed me as much as this one does..... my thoughts are with you and your wife.. I hope you can work it out either way.
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are
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