Actually, when I was younger, I wanted a totally clean tone. It always sounded good in my living room, but never good on stage. So now I'm learning that a little overdrive is a fun thing, and sometimes I crank it up to where it's totally saturated just because I'm turning into a 29 year-old juvenile delinquent and things like that are cool to me again.
Lenny, you have only one option: shave your head!