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Is it that you've reversed the order of the changes of bars 9 and 10 because typically it would be played GM7 to the F#7.
I played through it the way you've written but I can't make it sound right to my ear. If I play bar 9 and 10 like this F#7 - GM7/F#7 it sounds okay but moving from the #VM7 to the I sounds awkward to me.
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