[goldtopper]

We've been going to a Church for two years. We became members after 9 months and joined the worship team.
Our church is very small- 60 people on a Sunday is BIG.
Our worship leader recently resigned because of differences between him, and his "team" vs. organist.
Our worship team was comprised of about 8 people, including me as the sole guitarist and my very talented wife as a singer. The group has been together for about 10 years and has been less than welcoming. It's like walking into someone else's family reunion.
For the past several weeks, we've not gotten any calls for rehearsals, and low and behold, there they are on Sunday singing.
This last Sunday was our leader's last day with a big festival service. After about 10 people coming up and asking why we weren't playing, my wife was brought to tears. She was so broken hearted we couldn't even teach Sunday School and left after the service.
While leaving, one of the Worship Committee ladies came over and said to my wife "I just heard that...blah blah blah".
My wife explained that she felt unwelcome and she was hurt deeply because this is the best way for her to use her gifts to serve the Lord. She felt constantly excluded, had brought new pieces to rehearsals, they were never worked on, and was always told "we're doing these songs, and the way we've always done them and a 1, 2, 3 go..."
How in the heck do we know "the way you've always done them?".
She was so sad last night, felt misled, unwanted and betrayed.

A new leader starts next week and the Pastor's wife (who is a wonderful woman) said not to worry, several of these people will be leaving because they only come to sing anyway and that things will change.
At this point, anything we'd be involved in would feel patronizing and that we'd be "thrown a bone"; due to our small congregation, we are sure gossip has spread.

So what do we do? Our kids love the Church and our daughter is midway through Confirmation.

We both feel it is so important to set a good example for our kids and everyone else's. We also love to glorify God through music and think it is our calling to serve Him in that manner. We don't feel "complete" if we can't spread His word through P & W.

Help!