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Lapsed Catholic here. The upside of having a church or being part of a congregation is to give a community stability and at its best is to give the parishioner a sense of something bigger than themselves. Unfortunately petty human jealousies and overwhelming hubris stain the fabric of what is considered to be true faith.
Since your wife was raised Catholic maybe a visit to a local church and a meeting with a priest to just discuss this very topic might help. And then maybe a Lutheran minster should be next, or even a Rabbi. If you have a better understanding what is right for you and your family than you can make an informed decision. Of course this is all up to you.
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