[octatonic]

One of the reasons I try to work with people that I faintly loathe. :-)

Give him a few days- it is hard on the ego.
You probably weren't being harsh but friends will always assume that the friendship comes first if they are on the receiving end of it.

It would be rare for a hobby or semi-pro band member to adopt the attitude of 'Well I wasn't up to scratch, so I understand why they did it".
He likely views this as a betrayal on your part.

Is he the sort of person who would be ok if you just stumped up on his doorstep saying "Hey, I've been trying to contact you, I think we need to talk" or is he likely to reach for a gun?
Might be an idea... in a week or so.