Quote:
Originally Posted by wierdOne
Alright.. I happen to have a flux capacitor.... so I went back to see what would have happened if John had lived....
1. In early 1981 he would have sobered up and realized what he had let Yoko do to the band..
2. By mid summer he would have hired a hitman to take her out, and recorded an album of McCartney's tunes as a public apology...
3. By 82 the Beatles would have reunited..
4. By late 82 they would have released their reunion album.... promptly entitled "Not so fast EVH"..
5. That album is single handedly responsible for steering popular music away from 80's hair band butt rock...
6. With no hair bands, there's not GnR.... with no GnR... there's no Grunge... With no Grunge... there's no Candlebox.. with no Candlebox, then no one ever records "Far behind"..... and the world is a MUCH better place....
That's the good side...
The bad side, is that instead of the testosterone driven hair bands.... testosterone free Boy Bands rise to world domination... in order to follow the trend, the majority of American males , not only dress like George Michael, Don Johnson, and Donny Walburg but begin taking Michael Jackson's brand of over the counter hormones to circumvent puberty.... by the early 1990's, this testosterone free American society largely loses the ability to breed... Without young to fuel the Video Game industry, Nintendo turns to weapons development and by the early 2000's releases their highly acclaimed WWiii... This "easy to use" Weapon of Mass Destruction, designed for the "not so trained Terrorist" becomes all the rage on the black market.... with demand out growing supply, it becomes impossible for world governments to control the growth of homegrown terrorist cells... by then, there's little choice left... so... nukes start flying, and Steve Jobs never gets to release the iPhone Nano...
so... you see... John died for all of us... we must never forget him...
Merry Christmas....  |
I agree with your historical analysis, with the following exceptions or clarifications:
2. The public apology would not have happened, at least not once Lennon learned about the fate of the legal rights to the Beatles' songs, and how they ended up in the control of one Michael Jackson. The atonement you speak of would have been accomplished by John sending Yoko Michael's way, so that she could do to his career what she had done to the Beatles. They're both into dance music, so the attraction would have been immediate. John would then be (partly) forgiven for things like "Two Virgins," and public incidents such as letting Yoko "sing" on the Dirty Mac session during the Rock & Roll circus. Photos of Yoko with the Beatles during the White Album and Get Back Sessions would be altered (ala that communist guy whose name sounds a lot like "Lennon") so that Yoko was not visible.
5. It's unlikely that the Beatles, of all people, would have taken a dim view towards hair bands or hair anything. Rather, they would have pointed out to lawyers that they were largely responsible for the linkage between hair and rock-icon status (and they would have newspaper accounts of the "mop-tops" to support their claims). Once they were in control of the direction that hair-band rock would take, history would go on as before, but the bar would be set much higher for hair-band rock. Essentially, there would still be GNR, but no "Patience," Def Leppard, but no spandex, and so on.
6. The lack of male sterility in the U.S. would have corresponded with an alarming rise in the percentage of males who are at least 50lbs overweight, many of the former hair-band gods would be forced to appear on Reality TV shows (or play Indian casinos), Keith Richards would injure himself falling out of a tree, and the Beatles' catalogue would be "re-visioned" and used as background music for a circus performance in Las Vegas... No, wait, that actually
did happen...
